The Polar Bear Explorers' Club

by Alex Bell

  Felix gave a thin smile. ‘The Polar Bear Explorers’ Club used to have a fairy cabinet. At my urging they removed it a short while ago. Pinning fairies, or anything for that matter, is a barbaric practice that ought not to be encouraged. Or, indeed, tolerated.’

  For a moment there was a chilly silence. Then Zachary Vincent Rook stood up. ‘Are you calling me a barbarian, sir?’

  ‘What’s a barbarian?’ Beanie said to Stella, loud enough for the whole table to hear.

  ‘An uncivilized person,’ Stella replied.

  When Felix had taught Stella how to spell he had made the task more fun by avoiding boring words like ‘obedience’ and ‘cabbage’ and ‘chalk’, and had instead favoured interesting words like ‘barbarian’ and ‘tomfoolery’ and ‘peregrinations’. Once Stella learned how to spell a word, he would reward her by teaching her what it meant. She glanced at him across the captain’s table and he gave her a small smile in acknowledgement of her correct description.

  ‘“Uncivilized”!’ the magician exclaimed. ‘If you really want to see something uncivilized then I—’

  ‘Don’t be a bore, Zachary, sit down,’ said the captain of the Ocean Squid expedition with a yawn. ‘It’s bad manners to quarrel at a captain’s table. Besides which, you’re spoiling my appetite. And it’s too hot in here for squabbles.’

  He was right about it being hot. The number of people in the room, combined with all the hot plates they’d used to keep the food warm, had created an uncomfortably high temperature. Everyone had taken their jackets off and rolled up their shirtsleeves – everyone except Ethan, who looked as starched and smart and stuck up as usual, with his sleeves buttoned at the wrist and his shirt done up right to the collar. Stella could tell he was hot, though, from the way he kept fanning his face with a paper serviette, and she thought he was very silly for not rolling up his sleeves along with everyone else.

  Zachary Vincent Rook sat back down but didn’t look happy about being told off in front of everyone. To make up for it he turned to the hunter and said, ‘If I can assist you with the slaughter of this yeti, Jerome, do let me know. I quite agree that a yeti’s head would make an excellent addition to our trophy room. It can hang right alongside the screeching red devil squid tentacle we brought back last time. Nothing more important than trophies when it comes to proving ourselves as explorers. Isn’t that right, Ethan?’

  Zachary thumped his son on the back, but Ethan didn’t reply. In fact, Stella noticed that he actually looked rather unwell. The next moment he pushed away his plate and stood up.

  ‘Please excuse me,’ he muttered, and then left the room without another word. Maybe he’d finally found it too hot in his long sleeves and gone to get some air. Or perhaps throw up over the side of the ship. Stella secretly hoped it was the latter, even if Felix would have chastised her for the uncharitable thought.

  She glanced at Felix and was surprised to see him staring after Ethan with a frown on his face. Felix almost never frowned. It was all very strange.

  Fortunately, just at that moment the cook brought out an ice cream cake in the shape of a yeti, which immediately cheered everyone up and cooled them all down quite considerably. The yeti’s eyes were made from shards of chocolate mint and the shaggy fur had been piped on with vanilla ice cream. Stella thought that the dead explorer clutched in one of the yeti’s great fists was perhaps a little tactless, but he was made of sugared marzipan, so that made up for it to some extent. Stella adored sugared marzipan.

  But the meal came to a sudden end when they heard a shout of ‘Land ahoy!’ from somewhere up above. As one, the explorers all pushed back their chairs, almost falling over each other in their rush to be the first out on deck.

  When Stella stepped outside she gasped in shock at the icy air. It had been cold at home, and at Coldgate, but that had been just a normal kind of cold – the kind that brings snow and frost. The cold here, though, was the type that brought snow goblins and ice storms – it was hard and sharp instead of soft and powdery. It was the kind of cold that could rip right through a person. The entire ship sparkled in a glittering coat of frost, and it seemed like there were ten times as many stars as normal – hundreds of tiny little pinpricks of cold, white light, as if someone had scattered a great sack of glitter across the dark night sky. Stella’s breath smoked out in front of her, and her teeth chattered, but she wasted no time in pushing her way to the railings with the others, where they all strained their eyes for their first moonlit glimpse of the Icelands.

  Giant slabs of ice floated on the surface of the sea, and Stella could hear them bumping up against the ship and crashing into each other with such force that if anyone happened to fall into the water and get caught between two colliding pieces, they would surely be crushed into a messy pulp.

  The snow-coated landscape ahead of them seemed to glow with a pale blue light all of its own, and Stella wondered whether it was something to do with the great mass of stars twinkling above them. She could just make out the looming outlines of sharp, peaked mountains piercing the air like monstrous snow shark teeth. Something seemed to stir within her as she gazed at that view – some tingle of recognition as if a deep-down part of her remembered the place where she had come from. For a moment, a memory felt within her grasp, but even as Stella reached for it, it drifted away like smoke.

  There was a still, cold silence whilst the explorers stared at the vast, unknown landscape, dreaming of the adventures they might have and the stories – and yeti heads, in the hunter’s case – that they would bring back with them.

  Stella was the first to spot movement on land. The object was so big that to begin with she thought she was looking at a mountain. But then her eyes focused on an arm and a leg, and the full force of what she was seeing hit her. There was a great, humungous yeti lumbering across the ice.

  ‘Yeti!’ she cried, her voice cracking the frozen air as she pointed out across the ocean. ‘There’s a yeti there!’

  There were general cries of ‘Where?’ and ‘I don’t see it!’, and then ‘Great Scott!’ and ‘Extraordinary!’ and ‘Behold the creature!’ Then the explorers were all fumbling in their robes for a telescope to get a closer look. Stella quickly reached for her own telescope, which was made from solid brass and bound in soft, worn leather. Her hands were trembling with excitement as she focused the lens like Felix had taught her.

  She gasped as she caught her first glimpse of the yeti’s face, with its snow-crusted fur and white shining canines curved over its lips. The head alone must have been ten times Stella’s height, and each one of those monstrous teeth was easily as tall as she was. She lowered the telescope – the brass surface freezing against her fingers – and gazed at the beast, hardly able to comprehend its size. It was a giant – far larger than any building Stella had ever seen, including the Polar Bear Explorers’ Club itself.

  The next moment, the yeti disappeared from sight as it passed beyond the cliff. It was too cold to stay out on deck for any longer without their snow cloaks anyway, so the explorers returned to the warmth of the gramophone room, which was soon thick with the smell of brandy, and the fug of cigar smoke, and the thrill of excitement.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Stella watched from the deck the next day as some of the crew took a lifeboat over to the Icelands and proceeded to drive huge spikes into the snow. Sailors from the ship then threw across coils of rope as thick as Stella’s arm, which were wound around the spikes to moor the ship.

  It took the better part of an hour to unload the supplies, including the unicorns, wolves and yaks. Stella checked and re-checked her pockets and her explorer’s bag (which had since been emptied of moustache wax and beard oil) to make sure she had her telescope, compass, magnifying glass, pocket map, emergency mint cake, matches and ball of string. Felix said you never knew when a ball of string might come in handy, and Stella had carried one almost for as long as she could remember. She’d also decided to keep the folding pocket moustache comb, because she�
�d discovered it made an excellent backscratcher.

  There was a time and a place for dresses and petticoats, and exploring the Icelands definitely wasn’t it, so Stella had changed into the same type of outfit that Felix and the other explorers all wore. This consisted of trousers tucked into a sturdy pair of snow boots, and a multi-layer of vests, woolly jumpers stitched with polar bear emblems, and waterproof sweaters piled on beneath her explorer’s cloak. Much as she loved skirts, Stella was rather fond of trousers too and often wore them at home when she wanted to go out riding on her unicorn. Finally, she’d tied her white hair back into a long plait to keep it out of her way, and fastened it with a sparkly violet ribbon.

  An hour after their arrival, the supplies had all been unloaded and it was the explorers’ turn to walk down the gangplank, their snow boots crunching over the frost that had already formed into a fine sparkling coat across the thick wooden boards. The ship’s captain came down to see them off, and one of the ship’s flags was staked into the ice to mark the spot where the Bold Adventurer would return for them in two weeks’ time, after enjoying a spot of whaling out on the open sea. Then the photographer set up the camera on its tripod, and the two teams gathered around the flag to have their picture taken.

  The camera needed them to stand still for quite a long time for it to work. Stella wasn’t very good at standing still and so she scratched her nose at just the wrong moment, causing her face to come out blurred in the black and white photo the camera printed out. She couldn’t help thinking that the adult explorers all looked a bit like walruses, with their waxed moustaches and fussy beards and puffy sideburns. Stella didn’t much care for moustaches and beards and sideburns, and was glad that Felix had none of those things.

  ‘We’ll be back here in twelve days’ time at sunrise,’ Captain Fitzroy told them, once the business of the photograph was finished. ‘We’ll wait one day and one night. After that we must set sail whether you have returned or not. Whale blubber doesn’t keep for too long below decks, I’m afraid. A rescue boat will no doubt come back for any lost members of the expedition, but there’s no telling how soon that will be organised or when it will arrive. So make sure you’re here on time if you don’t want an extended stay in an igloo.’

  He wished them all good luck and then returned to his ship, shaking his head as if he couldn’t understand why anyone would be mad enough to willingly set off into a frozen wilderness in the first place.

  The ship unfurled its auxiliary sails and set back the way it had come, leaving the explorers alone with the ice and yetis. Stella had hoped that the two clubs would take their leave of each other at this point, but instead it was decided that they would travel together as far as the giant ice bridge someone had spotted from the ship. Once there, one club would travel across to explore the other side, whilst the second club would explore the opposite side. The Icelands ought to be big enough for two expeditions, after all, and both clubs attempting to explore the same area would only lead to brawls, squabbles, loud whining and the inevitable duels.

  To save time it was decided that the sleds would set off as they had been unloaded, and they would split up their provisions and supplies once they reached the ice bridge. Which was how Stella found herself sharing a sled with Shay, Beanie and – to her disgust – Ethan, who complained loudest of all about the arrangement.

  Unfortunately, it seemed the children needed to ride together in the same sled because of weight distribution, so they piled in beneath a mountain of furs, and one of the adult Ocean Squid explorers hopped on the back to control the wolves, all of whom were panting excitedly in the freezing air, eager to be off. They tethered one of the unicorns to the back of the sled, then the explorer gave the command – and they were off, moving forwards over the snow, the other sleds following on behind them in an orderly line.

  Stella was so delighted that she forgot to be grouchy about Ethan sitting next to her, his elbow wedged against her ribs. She drew her furred hood up over her head to protect her ears as the cold wind whistled past them. The wolves went faster than she’d been expecting, and she felt a fluttering of excited butterflies in her stomach, like having ten birthdays all come together. As the white landscape flashed past there was no sound except for the singing of the sled’s blades over the snow, and the panting of the wolves around them.

  It was just white, white, white as far as the eye could see. Stella thought it was enchanting and beautiful, but beside her Ethan grunted, ‘Ice. Absolutely nothing but ice.’

  Stella ignored him and let her thoughts soar with visions of snow sharks and woolly mammoths and abominable snowmen. She twisted in her seat and waved at Felix who was travelling in the sled behind. He grinned at her and waved back, and Stella thanked her lucky stars that she had managed to come on the expedition after all. She vowed to herself then and there that she’d show everyone that a girl could be every bit as good an explorer as any boy. Probably better, in fact, as she didn’t have a moustache to worry about.

  The ice bridge, when they reached it about an hour later, was a mighty structure stretching the entire length between two sides of a deep, yawning chasm. It had looked large enough through the telescope, but now they were closer, it became immediately apparent that the bridge was too narrow to risk taking the expedition across. Barely four feet wide, it would only just have taken the wolf-sleds – one wrong step and the entire thing would go flying over the edge, and that would be the end of that. It was quickly decided that the bridge was impassable and that the two clubs should split up to try to find their own way to the other side.

  If everything had gone to plan, they would have divided their provisions and gone their separate ways at this point. Stella, Shay and Beanie would have re-joined the members of the Polar Bear Explorers’ Club, and Ethan would have gone back to Ocean Squid. It is a well-known rule, however, that intrepid expeditions into the unknown do not always go to plan. And it was pure bad luck that an entire herd of woolly mammoths chose to stampede in the valley below at the precise moment that the explorers decided to move on from the bridge.

  The wolves of the Polar Bear Explorers’ Club were all well-trained expedition wolves, and did not react to the noisy tramping and trumpeting of the mammoths. The Ocean Squid wolves, on the other hand, had been acquired cheaply and in haste. They had not received the same extensive training, had never even been on a single expedition, and, inevitably, took fright at the sound of twenty six-tonne woolly mammoths thundering by beneath them. The wolves on four of the sleds – including Stella’s – charged forwards in a blind panic, forcing the unicorn tethered behind to come along as well. Most of the sleds turned and went back the way they had come but Stella’s kept going – right towards the ice bridge.

  Seeing what was about to happen, the Ocean Squid explorer on the back of their sled threw himself off into the snow. Ethan scrambled up and made to do the same, but Shay grabbed his sleeve and dragged him back. ‘Don’t!’ he yelled. ‘It’s too late for that.’

  He was right. The sled was already on the ice bridge and it was far too narrow to risk jumping. If the wolves put even one foot out of place, they would all go tumbling over the side to their certain deaths. A couple of bags from the back of the sled came loose and fell straight over the edge, turning over and over until they burst open upon the rocks below, tins of Spam smashing on impact.

  Stella could hear the unicorn cantering along behind them and hoped that it wouldn’t suddenly dig in its hooves and stop, causing them all to be pulled over the side. The four junior explorers could do nothing but try to remain absolutely still, and stared down in horror as the blades of the sled whisked perilously close to the edge of the bridge.

  As they raced towards the middle, the wolves panting and drooling in panic, they had the perfect view of the mammoths below, their shaggy coats crusted in old snow, their great tusks curving upwards, ready to impale anyone who fell on them. It sounded like a respectable and worthy enough death for an explorer – tumbling from
an ice bridge to be impaled upon a mammoth tusk – but Stella really, really didn’t want that to happen, just the same.

  Beside her, Beanie screwed his eyes tightly shut and started muttering under his breath. Stella was horrified to realise that he was reciting explorers’ deaths. Reciting facts was something he did to calm himself down sometimes, but Stella wished he could have perhaps listed the different types of sea cucumber, or various species of giant butterfly, or pretty much anything, in fact, other than sticky ends for adventurers.

  ‘Captain James Conrad Copplestone,’ Beanie gasped beside her, ‘trampled to death by woolly mammoths in the Glacier Circle. Sergeant Arthur Primrose Poe: gored by sabre-toothed tiger in the Azurian Jungle. Sir Hamish Humphrey Smitt—’

  ‘Shut up, shut up!’ Ethan cried in a wild voice. ‘What’s wrong with you? No one wants to hear that stuff right now!’

  Then – above the panting of the wolves, the trumpeting of the mammoths, the thundering of the unicorn’s hooves, Beanie’s muttering and the shouting of the explorers behind them – Stella heard a faint, dreadful sound. The quiet, deadly crack of ice breaking. She risked a glance behind, and saw hairline fractures crossing and criss-crossing out from the grooves left by the sled blades, a lethal spider-web of cracks sending up little puffs of ice dust as the entire structure groaned.

  ‘Sir Hamish Humphrey Smitt,’ Beanie groaned, his head in his hands, ‘ambushed by tiger poachers in the—’

  But before he could even finish the sentence part of the bridge snapped away behind them. The ice shattered as it fell into the valley below, and Stella found she couldn’t breathe. Surely they weren’t actually going to die? Not on the very first day of her first expedition! It would be too awful if Aunt Agatha was to be proved right about exploring being too dangerous for girls, and she was sure to be extremely nasty to Felix about it too.