EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

by Debby Conrad

  He let out a low laugh. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  “Put the gun down now! This is your last warning.”

  Out of desperation to save her life, she quickly said, “Don’t do this. Please, Brad. Think of Chelsea. I promise I’ll take care of her. Please.” The last “please” came out as a whimper.

  And then Brad spun away from her, firing the rifle at the uniformed men. Hollin threw herself facedown into the mud and waited for the gunfire to stop.

  She heard, rather than saw, Brad fall down beside her. She peered out to see him face up on the ground, his chest and arms covered in blood. Digging her right foot into the ground, she scooted as far away from him as she could and buried her face in her hands.

  #

  Sheriff Tyler got a call on the radio and turned to say something to the pilot.

  Griffin moved forward in his seat. “What is it? What’s going on?”

  “They took Hollin to a hospital.”

  “A hospital? Is she hurt? What the hell happened?”

  But Tyler only shook his head and lifted his shoulders in response.

  Griffin sighed. He was too late.

  #

  The minute the chopper touched down on the roof of the tiny hospital, Griffin was out the door and running. He’d had no idea where to go and had ignored Sheriff Tyler’s instructions to wait until he could see what was going on.

  He had to find Hollin. He had to make sure she was all right. Finally, he met up with several men from the local sheriff’s department who informed them Hollin was alive and in with a doctor. MacDougal hadn’t been so lucky, they’d told him. As if Griffin cared. If the bastard hadn’t been shot and killed, Griffin might have done the job himself for what he’d done to Hollin.

  He took a deep breath, and leaned back on the blue vinyl chair in the hospital’s waiting room. It had been over an hour since they’d landed. And even longer than that since Hollin had been here. Surely, they knew something by now.

  He stood, ignoring the warning look from Tyler and stepped out into the hallway. He had no idea which room Hollin was in, but he was determined to find her. Just as he was about to hang a right, a man wearing a lab coat over scrubs appeared.

  “Mr. Wells?” he said, extending a hand. “I’m Bob Kraus. But everyone around here just calls me Dr. Bob.”

  “How’s Hollin? When can I see her?”

  He smiled and scratched at a bald patch on his head. “She’s going to be fine. Other than a broken ankle and some cuts and bruises, she’ll be on the mend soon. I understand she’s pretty important to you.”

  “Yes,” Griffin said, elated with the news. “When can I see her?”

  Dr. Bob smiled. “I suppose you could see her now, but just for a few minutes. I gave her something for the pain, so she can rest. Don’t worry, nothing strong enough to hurt the baby.”

  “The baby?”

  “Yes. The baby was the first thing Hollin asked about.”

  Griffin tried to compose himself. He was so shocked he couldn’t speak.

  “Why don’t you follow me? After your visit, I’d like her to rest before everyone starts interrogating her. It sounds like she’s been through a lot.”

  Griffin followed the doctor through the corridor to a room at the end of the hall. Hollin was going to have a baby. His baby. And she hadn’t said a word. Not even last night when he’d bent her over the chair in his den and taken her like a savage.

  He let out a noisy breath. He was so disgusted with himself. How could he have been so rough with her? Not that he’d hurt her. Or had he? Either way, had he known she was pregnant, he never would have done such a thing.

  “Well, here we are.” Dr. Bob backed up a step. “I’ll leave you two alone. But I want your word you’ll only stay a few minutes.”

  “You got it.” Once the doctor turned his back, Griffin let himself into the room. Except for the scratches on Hollin’s face, she looked peaceful. Sleeping like an angel, her left ankle bandaged and resting on a pillow at the foot of the bed.

  He closed his eyes, feeling eternally grateful she was alive. And she was carrying his baby. He didn’t know what to make of that news. Was he happy? Was she?

  He sighed, and Hollin’s eyes popped open.

  “Hi,” she whispered.

  “Hollin,” he said, “I’m so sorry.”

  She moved her head on the pillow. “It’s over,” she said breathlessly. “Everything’s . . . going to be . . . fine.”

  Smiling, he touched the back of her hand, then pulled back when he saw the scratches and abrasions. He didn’t want to hurt her. “Do you want to . . . talk . . . about anything?” Do you want to tell me how you feel about the baby, he wanted to ask, but couldn’t.

  “Too tired,” she said, her eyes drifting shut. “Nothing . . . to talk . . . about.”

  Nothing to talk about? Griffin watched her fall asleep, then leaned forward and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I love you, Hollin. You and the . . . our baby.” Keeping his word to Dr. Bob, he left the room.

  #

  Hollin liked Dr. Bob. He had a good bedside manner. She lifted her head and let him fluff her pillows behind her.

  “Well, you won’t be running any marathons soon, but you’ll mend.” He made a notation on her chart, then hung it from the hook on the bed rail. “Right now you need to concentrate on getting on with your life. I understand Sheriff Tyler has arranged a flight home for you later today.”

  “Yes, he has.”

  “I meant what I said about you speaking to a psychologist. It certainly can’t hurt, after all you’ve been through.” He smiled sympathetically. “And I want you to promise to make an appointment with an obstetrician as soon as you’re feeling up to it.”

  “So I wasn’t dreaming? I really am pregnant?”

  He chuckled. “Of course you are.”

  “I can’t believe it,” she said, closing her eyes momentarily to let his words sink in.

  “Don’t worry. I met your significant other yesterday. Griffin Wells. He seems like a nice guy. I’m sure he’ll take good care of you and the baby.”

  “He knows I’m pregnant?”

  Dr. Bob’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m sorry. I just assumed he already knew. I mean, you were asking about the baby when they brought you in and--”

  “It’s okay,” she said, not wanting him to feel guilty for spilling the news. It was just that she would have liked to have told Griffin herself. She’d only found out she was pregnant when she’d come in, and it was only a guess, really. She remembered asking if there was a baby. If the baby was okay.

  There’d only been the slightest chance she was pregnant, but just in case, she wanted to be sure they didn’t give her anything that could possibly harm the baby. And sure enough, the doctor had said the baby was going to be fine.

  She and Griffin were going to have a baby.

  She vaguely remembered seeing Griffin standing over her last night. And she couldn’t remember saying anything to him, other than “Hi”. But he’d been there, in her hospital room.

  And he’d known about the baby.

  Now her mind was filled with questions. How had he reacted? Was he upset? Sorry? Happy?

  He didn’t love her. He’d made that perfectly clear the night before last. After telling him she loved him, he hadn’t said a word. She brushed away a tear, then thanked Dr. Bob and said good-bye.

  And what was Griffin doing here? In Michigan? In the hospital? Could it be he cared about her after all? Not wanting to get her hopes up, she wrestled with the idea of raising this baby on her own. Well, she wouldn’t be totally alone. She had Chelsea, her mother, and Josephine. Together, they could be a family. There was room for a baby at the house.

  She sniffed back more tears, and looked up to see Griffin standing in the doorway.

  Quickly, she tried to compose herself. She didn’t want to look like some simpering female. Forcing herself to smile, she waved a hand at him. “Hi. Come in.”


  He shuffled into the room, wearing his usual attire of jeans, boots and a T-shirt. His hair was wet and slicked back as if he’d just showered, and his face was stubble free and handsome as ever.

  Griffin moved closer to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Stronger. Sheriff Tyler said he has a friend who can fly me home by helicopter later today.”

  “Yeah. It’s quite an experience if you’d never ridden in one. I’m going to rent a car and drive back to Whisper Lake, so you can some leg room. I swear the inside of that thing isn’t any bigger than a bathroom.”

  “That’s nice of you. Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  He shrugged a shoulder carelessly. “No problem.”

  She took a deep breath, and waited for him to say something about the fact that she was pregnant, but he didn’t bring it up.

  Instead, he said, “Well, I just stopped by to wish you a safe trip home.”

  Hollin was stunned speechless. Was he just going to pretend there wasn’t a baby? Maybe he didn’t know that she knew Dr. Bob had let the news slip. That had to be it. So, if he pretended not to know, he could act oblivious to it. And that hurt. She never would have expected something like that from him.

  Then again, if he didn’t love her, why would he want to be strapped to her for the next umpteen years, just because he’d gotten her pregnant.

  She swallowed thickly and reached for her water glass. She sipped through the straw and set the glass aside. “So,” she said, giving him one last chance to face up to his responsibilities.

  “So,” he said and offered her a lazy smile. “Take care. If you need anything, anything at all, you know where to fine me.”

  And then he was gone.

  Hollin couldn’t believe it. This man, who she had loved as a young girl, had managed to turn her life upside down. He didn’t love her, but then he never had. Not thirteen years ago. And not now.

  #

  Griffin couldn’t believe it. Hollin hadn’t so much as mentioned the pregnancy to him. She didn’t want him to know about the baby. She probably had no idea Dr. Bob had mentioned it either.

  He swore, pounding his fist against the steering wheel of the rental car as he drove along Interstate 90. She planned to raise the baby without him. She obviously didn’t think he was good enough for them. And that he wouldn’t make a very good father figure. She was probably right, but those facts didn’t make it hurt any less.

  He shook his head as he gripped the steering wheel harder than necessary. She couldn’t forgive him for sleeping with Rachel when he was a teen. That had to be it. Although she’d said a few nights ago, during the throes of passion, that she’d loved him. But obviously those had been just words, like he’d suspected.

  Swearing again, the tires slid into the berm and it took some fancy maneuvering to get the car back in the lane.

  He loved her. And he loved the baby growing inside. Even though he didn’t have a clue how to be a father. If only she’d given him the chance, he would have done everything in his power to make her proud of him and to earn her trust.

  But the lady was calling the shots. He couldn’t make her love him, no matter how hard he tried. The best thing was to get out of her life. Stay out of her life. She’d be better off without him anyway.

  Now was his chance to get out of Whisper Lake. For years, he’d stuck around there waiting for the opportunity to show the town and Hollin that he was innocent. That she’d made the worst mistake of her life.

  But he’d been wrong. The worst mistake of her life was not telling him about the baby. Not giving him a chance to love her. And it was something she might end up regretting. He could only hope.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Griffin made it to the grocery store about fifteen minutes to closing. It was Christmas eve and the store would be closing at five, rather than nine. If he didn’t hurry, he wouldn’t have anything to eat tonight, or tomorrow, as the store would surely be closed on the holiday. Besides needing something to eat, he wanted to pick up a box of dog biscuits for Buster. It wasn’t much of a present, but then this was the first time he remembered buying a Christmas present for anyone. Even for a dog.

  He was so sick of all the advertisements announcing the mall would be open tonight until seven for all the last minute shoppers. Anyone who was buying gifts for loved ones surely wouldn’t have waited until the last minute, who they? And then here he was, waiting until fifteen minutes before closing to get his groceries.

  He raced through the aisles, tossing a few things in his cart, when he heard his name being called.

  “Griffin? Griffin, is that you?”

  He turned to see a woman standing in the aisle, holding a loaf of Italian bread. “Sara?” he asked, surprised. “Sara MacDougal?”

  “Yes, it’s me.”

  “Wow, you look fabulous.”

  She beamed at him and touched her hair. She’d lost at least twenty pounds. Gone was the red spikey hair. It was now a soft blond color and fell just beneath her chin. “How have you been?”

  “Good,” he lied. “And you?”

  “I’ve never felt better.”

  He grinned. “Well, I can see why.”

  Her smile faded. “I heard you were selling your house.”

  “Yeah. As a matter of fact, I finally got an offer last week. I’ll be moving out in January. I’ll probably rent something until I finish up the projects I have started in town, and then I’m thinking about heading south, or maybe west.” Hell, he had no idea where he was going. Anywhere, away from Whisper Lake and Hollin Pierce.

  “You disappoint me.”

  “Why is that?” he asked, clearly confused. Why would Sara give a damn about him?

  “You just didn’t strike me as the kind of guy who would walk out on the woman who was carrying his child.” She stopped and bit her lip. “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”

  “No, it’s not.” His retort was blunt, to the point. He’d heard the gossip going around town. That he’d gotten Hollin pregnant and then refused to marry her. He saw the hurt in Sara’s eyes and then not being able to stop himself, he asked. “How is she?”

  “She’s . . . beautiful.” She laughed softly. “A little off balance, with all the weight she’s gained, but still as gorgeous as ever.”

  He’d seen Hollin in town two months ago, her belly round and ripe with his baby. Sara was right. She was beautiful. She hadn’t seen him watching her, and he hadn’t approached her. He’d figured if she wanted to see him, she would have stopped by. Even if it was on the pretense of visiting Buster.

  But she hadn’t once called or stopped since her return from the ordeal in Michigan. She’d never once contacted him about her old job, to say she planned to return to work someday or to say, “Take this job and shove it.” To say, “Hey, guess what? I’m pregnant, and you’re the father.”

  Did she think he wouldn’t find out that she was pregnant? Did she think he wouldn’t have put two and two together and figure out that she was carrying his baby, had Dr. Bob not already spilled the beans months ago?

  What the hell was she thinking? And what made her honestly believe that baby, their baby, was better off without any father at all than with a father who, although didn’t have a clue about being a parent, would love that child no matter what?

  “Look, Sara,” Griffin said, anger and hurt bubbling through his veins, “I really need to finish my shopping. It was great seeing you.”

  “You too,” she said, then added, “You know it would be nice if you stopped by to say hello to Hollin. Being that it’s Christmas and all. I’m sure she would love to see you before you leave town.”

  He looked at her as if she were crazy, then mumbled, “Yeah, sure, maybe I’ll do that,” and strolled away.

  Griffin carried the measly bag of groceries to his truck and hopped in. Buster pounced on the bag. “Hey, wait until we get home, or you won’t get the present I bought you.” The dog, who now weighed forty pounds, put his hea
d down on the seat and blinked up at him.

  “Good boy.” Griffin started the truck and headed home, seeing the hundreds of cars in the mall parking lot. Idiots, he grumbled, glad he didn’t have anyone to buy presents for and continued on his way. But something made him stop at the end of the street, and rather than go home to his lonely house, he turned back in the direction of the mall. He might be an even bigger idiot than the rest of the last minute shoppers, but then maybe not.

  #

  Whoever came up with the term “beached whale” knew exactly what she was talking about. Nothing could describe the way Hollin felt better than that. Her back ached; she was sluggish, tired, cranky and so fat she could barely fit behind the steering wheel of her car. And once she was seated, she had a hard time getting to her feet without help.

  But even so, she’d managed to help Josephine with the preparations for their Christmas eve dinner. The turkey was roasting in the oven and they’d be ready to sit down and eat in less than an hour.

  She smiled, breathing in the wonderful aroma. Food. It was one of the few things that made her forget how miserable she was. Why did pregnancy have to cause women to have so many food cravings? she wondered, biting the head off a reindeer cookie. Some days, it was all she lived for.

  “Aunt Hollin?”

  Hollin looked down at Chelsea’s sweet face. “What is it, sweetheart?” She was dressed in pink ruffles in spite of the red velvet dress Angela had picked out for her.

  “Do you think Santa Claus will visit my mommy in heaven?”

  Hollin smiled, fighting back tears. She caught the sympathetic looks from her mother and Josephine, who sat at the kitchen table playing gin rummy. “You know, I hadn’t thought about it. But we could write him a note and ask if he could stop by for a quick visit.”

  The child nodded in agreement. “And maybe we should leave him an extra cookie,” she said, artfully arranging the iced cookies on the Santa plate that had been around since Hollin was a little girl.

  “That sounds like a very good idea.” She leaned over, not very gracefully and kissed Chelsea on the cheek. “I love you.”