Lord of My Heart

by Jo Beverley

  Only probably. Madeleine was nervous of the queen giving birth away from a town with only her personal guard to protect her and the babe.

  The further north they traveled, the further away she felt from civilization. This part of England was clearly less under Norman control, and the people looked more Norse than Saxon. Though Gainsborough seemed prosperous and peaceful, the inhabitants regarded the invaders askance, and muttered curses beneath their breath. If trouble was to occur, there would be many willing accomplices.

  As Madeleine waited to board her barge, Aimery came to stand beside her. “You look worried.”

  She snorted with exasperation. “And you aren’t?”

  He laughed. “At a certain point, worrying becomes pointless. Odo has no head for geography and is too arrogant to listen to those who have. He got lost on his way here and arrived after the rearguard. Allan de Ferrers is so nervous to be in the wicked north he’s racing ahead expecting two-headed monsters to leap out from behind every bush. It seems impossible to expect them to keep pace with the barges. I’m wondering what the penalties are for tying a pregnant queen to a post and keeping her here.”

  Madeleine couldn’t share his humor. “This is a mad enterprise, isn’t it? Perhaps Hereward was right, and the line will not survive. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end.”

  She saw him sober. “Hereward was right,” he said simply. “Hereward is always right.”

  “Is he?” Madeleine asked, fear sharpening her voice. “Then why are you here with us, instead of with him?”

  “Because it’s my duty to get the queen safely to York.” His voice had matched hers in sharpness, but now he moderated it. “Madeleine, I do not serve Hereward. We should have sorted this out long ago.”

  “You forget. I heard you promise.”

  She could see his patience straining. “Yes, but not what. I am oath-bound to secrecy, but the service was not disloyal, and it is long over with. Believe me.”

  She wanted to so badly. “You mean no harm to the queen or the babe?”

  He was shocked. “Is that what you think?”

  She bit her lip. “It was all I could imagine. I’m sorry.”

  He turned away, and it was as if a wall grew up between them. “Am I a fool for wanting your trust? Am I going to have to prove my honesty afresh every day of my life?”

  “I had reasons for doubting you,” Madeleine protested. “You can’t deny that.”

  “You had my word that I was loyal.” He looked back at her, and she thought it was all right. But then he merely said, “Get aboard,” and walked away.

  Madeleine prayed to be in York, where perhaps they would be able to talk matters through. Where she would finally be sure he was loyal. Where he was going to make long, slow love to her in a bed.

  If he wasn’t in chains.

  The queen was less restless, though still like a surly bear. Adele hovered, sure the birth was imminent, but there was little for Madeleine to do. When Matilda wanted companionship, it was Lucia she called for.

  Aimery, too, had little to do now other than try to anticipate problems. Though it was not a time to talk of dangerous matters, for there was no privacy, Madeleine saw an opportunity to clear away some misunderstandings. She worked her way to his side. He took her hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Madeleine felt her heart tremble.

  “I wanted to tell you about Stephen,” she said.

  “Stephen?”

  “Why I didn’t marry him.”

  His lips twitched. “It wasn’t just that you showed good taste?”

  She put on a frown. “You were furious at the time. With reason. You were angry that I’d broken my word.”

  His thumb rubbed against her hand. “True. So, why did you not marry de Faix?”

  Madeleine still found it hard to speak of. “That night . . . When the king summoned me . . . I went to the stables, but the king wasn’t there. Stephen was.”

  “I’d guessed as much, but I’m surprised it turned you so violently against him.”

  Madeleine looked out over the water. “He wasn’t with a woman.”

  “He wasn’t?” Aimery was clearly waiting for more.

  Madeleine looked around and leaned closer to hiss, “He was with a man!”

  Aimery burst out laughing. “By St. Peter! The cunning rogue!”

  “Stephen?”

  Aimery shook his head. “William. I’m sure he knew Stephen’s tastes when he made him one of the suitors. We never had a chance, did we?”

  Madeleine looked at him anxiously. “Do you still regret it?”

  He squeezed her hand gently. “Not at all. In fact, at the time I was tasting bile at the thought of you in Stephen’s arms.” He kissed her knuckles, then said a little reluctantly, “If we’re to tackle our problems head on, I think we should speak of the time when the Baddersley people were whipped.”

  “Why then?” asked Madeleine in puzzlement.

  He played with her fingers for a moment. “The story was you asked for the whippings.”

  “What!” But then Madeleine hesitated. “I suppose in a way I did. But, Aimery, it was only to save them all from maiming. My uncle was in a mindless rage.”

  “Ah.” He sighed. “And the people heard you begging for the whipping, but could not understand enough French to understand why. I think I should beg your pardon for having believed that of you.”

  “I confess, I am hurt. Did it seem likely that I would act in such a way?”

  “Not until I saw you watching.”

  Madeleine looked a question and he said, “I went up to the castle while the floggings were going on. I saw you watching the whipping of the children.”

  Madeleine shuddered at the memory. “I felt so helpless,” she recalled. “It had never crossed my mind that he would flog the children too. I tried to stop him, but it was no use. I felt the least I could do was watch . . .”

  He gently wiped away a tear that had escaped onto her cheek. “Dear heaven, what a tangle we’ve been in.”

  “And is it over?” But then she remembered Aldreda, Odo, and d’Oilly’s man. And her lingering uneasiness about his promise to help Hereward. Should she ask him about that now?

  “It is at least good that we are in harmony at last.” He touched her lips with his finger and she knew that he too longed to seal their new accord with a kiss. This wasn’t the place, however, and soon he was summoned to discuss some matter with the boatman.

  Soon, however, they would be in York. Madeleine wrapped new hope around her and settled to watching the passing countryside.

  This was a fertile river valley and villages were strung along the river trading route like beads. The land looked lush and prosperous, but she noted signs of war. One hamlet was a burned, abandoned shell. It could have been destroyed by king or rebels, but that hardly mattered. Homes were gone, crops destroyed, and doubtless people had died. She hated war.

  Matilda insisted that they pull to the shore at midday for food and a chance to walk. Aimery wasn’t happy about the plan, and put Fulk’s guard on full alert. Everyone ate while strolling about, trying to get the kinks out of their legs. Madeleine saw Aldreda, and on impulse went to speak to her.

  “How are you faring, Aldreda?”

  The woman flashed her a distinctly unfriendly look. “Well enough.”

  “What of your daughter? Who is caring for her?”

  “Hengar’s mam. Frieda’s grandam.” She smirked and added, “After a fashion.”

  Madeleine decided to take a risk. “I heard that Frieda was not Hengar’s child.”

  “Whose else would she be, Lady?”

  Madeleine wouldn’t name Aimery. Taking a shot in the dark, she said, “Hereward’s?”

  Aldreda paled. “No good that,” she said, “him being an outlaw and all.”

  Madeleine scented blood. “But is it true?”

  Aldreda stuck her chin up. “Frieda is the lord’s child, and all know it.”

  Hengar
had used those words. “What do you mean, the lord’s child?”

  “I know what I mean,” said Aldreda slyly, “and so do all who have any business knowing. A lord’s child must be gently raised and married well. As Frieda will be.” She moved her shawl slightly. Madeleine gasped when she saw the distinctive amber knob of her own dagger, the murder weapon.

  “What is that?” she asked, but she knew she had betrayed herself.

  “You recognize it, lady,” said Aldreda. “You know what it is, and what it did. If Frieda doesn’t get her due, I’ll tell the world who killed my husband, and why.”

  The meat pie Madeleine had just eaten rebelled in her stomach. “You have no proof.”

  Aldreda bit into her own pastry with relish. “There’s proof in the hand that wielded the knife, and I know from the sheriff that Aimery was strangely missing when my Hengar died.”

  Madeleine struggled with this new twist. Aldreda thought Aimery had killed Hengar, and she was threatening not so much to accuse him of murder as to expose him as Golden Hart, with his skin mark as final proof.

  Madeleine looked at the woman and hated her. “How can you do this to someone who was once your lover?”

  Aldreda shrugged. “I wouldn’t rightly call him a lover, a young lad like that. It were over in a minute. But he has a duty to Frieda, and to me. He stole my man and I want another.”

  “I will arrange a marriage for you,” Madeleine said quickly, “and one for Frieda in time.”

  “Nay, Lady. I know my worth. Frieda must be raised a lady as is her right, and married well. And I want Aimery.”

  Madeleine stared at her. “You want to force him to your bed?”

  “I wouldn’t mind, though there are others. No. I want a Danelaw wedding with Frieda acknowledged as his child.”

  Madeleine thought she was going mad. “Those days are past, and Aimery’s Norman. He doesn’t hold with such things. Anyway, you admitted the child could be Hereward’s.”

  Aldreda regarded her with dismissive superiority. “You don’t understand. How could you? But Aimery does. I’ll have my due, or he’ll be brought low.”

  “What keeps you safe?” Madeleine asked coldly. “After one death, what does another matter?”

  Aldreda backed away, but she answered boldly. “My husband was a fool. I suppose he went straight to Aimery and asked for silver for his silence. And got steel instead. I’ve told another. Killing me will do no good.”

  Madeleine felt sick. “Whom have you told?”

  Aldreda smiled. “I’m not likely to tell you that, am I? You just tell your husband to be more reasonable and set me and Frieda up in the manner we’re entitled to, and to acknowledge the new babe, too. Both my children will be the equal of yours.”

  Madeleine wondered how she kept from screaming. “You have spoken to Aimery already?”

  Aldreda nodded. “Over-proud he is. Don’t like the fact I have the upper hand, but he’ll come to it, or he’ll come to ruin. We women are more practical, aren’t we?”

  “And what of your accomplice?”

  “I’ll handle him, never fear.”

  Madeleine rebelled against the woman’s smug spite and wondered if Aimery had felt the same. If they gave in, they’d have her around their necks forever. She summoned all her dignity. “You would be well advised, Aldreda, to take what we are willing to give and disappear. We would be generous.”

  “Perhaps, Lady, but I’ll have my full due.”

  Madeleine walked away. What in Mary’s name were they to do now? Was Aldreda’s accomplice Odo? That would be a disaster for sure. She looked for Aimery, but he was busy organizing the reloading of supplies, and there was never, ever any privacy. She could have screamed, but she pushed back her fears. Nothing dramatic was likely to happen yet—except the queen giving birth. She returned to Matilda’s side.

  Lucia stretched her back and winced. “I confess, I’m weary of traveling. I’m staying in York even if Guy is not there. He can chase after me for a change. If, that is, Northumbria is secure. I honestly don’t understand how William keeps his hold among so many enemies.”

  “Aimery says it’s because they won’t pull together.”

  Lucia sighed. “I can believe it. Mercia fights Wessex. Northumbria fights itself. William would not have gained a toe-hold if Tostig hadn’t betrayed his brother Harold. Harold was a fine man,” she said sadly. “A marriage was proposed between us, but then I met Guy.”

  Madeleine sought to distract her. “Have you ever visited York before?”

  “What? A Lady of Mercia venture into the land of boglins and hairy men? Heaven forfend!”

  Madeleine grinned. “I gather you’ve never met Waltheof Siwardson.”

  Lucia raised her brows. “No, but I knew his father and can well imagine. It’s the faery blood.”

  She seemed perfectly serious. Madeleine asked, “Is there faery blood in Mercia?”

  “Certainly not,” said Lucia, then slid a mischievous glance sideways. “Disappointed?”

  Madeleine laughed. “A little. But only a little.”

  But when she saw Aldreda watching her again, Madeleine thought Aimery might need faery blood to escape the gathering storm.

  That afternoon the barges were steered into the great water of the Humber estuary and traveled up it to where the Aire River joined it at Airmyn. They all climbed stiffly out, gratefully aware that one more day would have them in York. Madeleine could hardly believe it, but it seemed as if Matilda was going to achieve her end.

  Madeleine was no longer sure if she wanted to reach York or not. It promised time at last for her marriage, but threatened Aimery’s exposure as Golden Hart. After all, if Odo brought forward his witnesses before the whole court, William would have to act. At the very least, Aimery would be disgraced and banished.

  She was fretting over this when she bumped into Odo. She had the disquieting feeling he had deliberately stepped in her way. “Excuse me, Odo. The queen has need of me.”

  “Of course,” he said without moving. “How is Her Majesty?”

  “Well, considering. Step aside, please.”

  “And you? Rumor says you, too, are with child.”

  She made herself face him boldly. “We hope it is so. Odo, what do you want?”

  “Just greeting my dear cousin,” he said, and finally moved out of her way.

  Madeleine hurried on, her heart thundering. He might as well have been a fox toying with a chicken. He knew everything.

  She had to push her worries aside as she tended the weary, uncomfortable queen. They all again tried to persuade her to stay where she was and send for the king. He could be in Airmyn in a short day, but Matilda would have none of it. As soon as the queen was settled, all Madeleine’s personal worries came back to her, and she sought a private moment with Aimery. She opened the subject bluntly. “I spoke with Aldreda.”

  He was sitting at a table studying a map of the area. He didn’t look up. “Ignore her. She’ll come to her senses.”

  “I think you’re wrong. She’s like a vixen with one cub. Or perhaps two,” she added darkly.

  He glanced up. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Is it yours?”

  She saw his jaw set. “No, it isn’t mine. I haven’t touched Aldreda since I was fourteen years old.”

  “I believe you!” Madeleine said quickly. She did believe him. Why had she even mentioned it?

  “Kind of you. It’s doubtless Odo’s child. She was playing the whore with him at Baddersley before the wedding.”

  Madeleine thought back to her three suitors and shivered at the mistake she could have made. She paced backward and forward. “So why is she claiming it’s yours?”

  He sighed and put aside the map. “Greed,” he said. “Everything comes down to greed, the most vile of sins. I’ve promised to do what I can for Frieda, but she wants more.”

  “I know. Is it reasonable?”

  “A Danelaw marriage? No, even if it had any meaning
anymore.”

  “But if you don’t, she’ll betray you to the king.”

  He shrugged. “If that is my wyrd.”

  Madeleine hit him. She made a fist and hammered his shoulder, which made as much impression as if she’d hit an oak tree, but at least he paid her some attention. “What do you want me to do?” he asked.

  Madeleine shook her head, and her hand. “I don’t know. But you could at least worry. Odo’s licking his chops, too.”

  He shrugged. “I am worrying. There are men on the move nearby.”

  “Rebels?” asked Madeleine sharply, also consigning Aldreda and Odo to the irrelevant.

  “Not Norman. They may have no connection to us.”

  “But we would tempt a force if it were large enough.”

  He tossed the note aside. “True. I’ll just have to spend the night drumming the next day’s route into Odo and Allan and hope they’ll keep in position and close.” He stood and smiled. “York tomorrow.”

  Despite everything, the mere word sent a curl of warmth through her belly. “A lot of good that will do us if you’re in chains.”

  He grinned. “Merely tax our ingenuity.”

  She gave a watery smile and went into his arms. “I’m terrified, Aimery.”

  He rubbed her back. “Don’t be. I’ll protect you. It will be all right.”

  “How can you know that?” she asked with exasperation.

  “Perhaps I have the sight, too.”

  She looked up. “Have you?”

  He kissed her. “Not as far as I know, but I do know this. Nothing short of death will keep me from our tryst.”

  Madeleine shivered and kissed him fiercely.

  Chapter 22

  Madeleine slept uneasily on the floor by the queen’s bed that night, expecting at any time to be woken for the birth, but the morning came without labor. Adele had stayed awake for most of the night, and she shook her head. “I’ve had my hand on her belly since dawn, and the tightenings come and go without pattern. It’s not to happen yet.”