by Kia Corthron
Sorry, Eliot, Miss Polly Jean say to me, we ain’t got no bed yet for the boys’ room. The babies in Miss Polly Jean’s room with her. Nine boys includin me on the floor, gettin close for the warm.
Daddy doin the afternoon shiff? Harvey asks.
Yes, say Miss Polly Jean, be back 11:30. Yaw better be sleep by then. Mr. George at the tire factory, Mama tole me. Them jobs opened up for colored since the war.
In the dark I shake from the cold! Shake cuz I miss Mama! I get my hat an coat an still cold, can’t hardly sleep from the cold! I feel the tear but I make it stay my eye, it freeze my face! Somebody sneeze. I can’t hardly move my arms, we all huddled an still cold! Jimmy Lee, youngest, pee the bed cep ain’t no bed, all his brothers Aw! Him cryin.
The house get up early early, we gotta be at the bus stop way earlier n me an Dwight even wake up! Nobody mention nothin bout breakfast so I don’t neither.
Cold! Dark! We wait a long long time for the bus, our breath big. Some a them Browns holdin their coats shut, the buttons missin.
The mornin bus lot colder n yesterday afternoon! We the firs people on it besides Troy an Mary Jane from the high school. Still see our breath on the bus! Long ride. I get the winda. I see a couple white schools pass by, too bad them Browns can’t go nearby to the white school I think yawnin then I’m sleep.
In arithmetic I’m yawnin again. In social studies Mrs. Brent say, What did I just say, Eliot?
I don’t know! I stare at her. She do not look pleased.
At recess some a the big kids take over the monkey bars. They playin Japanese Interment Camp. The Japanese is jailed inside the monkey bars, the soldiers is on the outside.
Show me your ID! says Byron Freeman from the eleventh. Hi jaki eks komeenono.
Butch Quarryman from the tenth from inside a the monkey bars cracks up. That ain’t no Japanese, fool!
Show me your ID, you Jap! Some a the little kids go cryin to the playgroun teacher the big kids won’t let us on the monkey bars.
I need food for my baby, says Janey Wells from the inside. My baby needs some milk.
My baby needs some milk, says Gary Ray Horne from the seventh in a funny voice.
Shoulda thoughta that fore you bombed Pearl Harbor, says Butch Quarryman.
Hey, says Mr. Raleigh comin over, You big kids: off!
In line to go back inside after recess, Jeanine whispers to me, We’re nex.
Huh?
Nex they put colored on the concentration camp.
Uh-uh!
That’s what Uncle Ramonlee said. We set an watch this happen, guess who they comin for nex? Then they drafted him an he gone. Mr. Raleigh go, Second grade! wavin us back in.
Dismissal bell! Glad to go home, my bed! Glad to sleep in my own new used bed!
Mama! You come pick me up!
I missed you, I couldn’t wait till you got home! How was your overnight visit?
It was okay. Where’s Dwight?
I already seen him, told him he could go on ahead if he wanted.
Walkin home, I like holdin Mama’s han.
Mama. We gonna get put on a interment camp?
She stop walkin. What?
A interment camp. Like the Japs.
Japanese, don’t say Japs!
Like the Japanese.
No. Internment camp.
Mama, wanna see my spellin test? Nother hunnert! Always I get a hunnert, haha!
Who said we were gonna get put on internment camps?
The big kids was playin Japanese Internment Camp on the monkey bars, an then Mr. Raleigh told em get off, an then Jeanine tole me her uncle Ramonlee said we’s nex then he go off to war.
Don’t you play that game!
We wasn’t. The big kids was.
Don’t you never play that game, it’s not funny! She shakin my arm!
It gonna happen to us nex?
She let go a me. No, she say. But her face worry worry.
Supper is porknbeans. Porknbeans is hot dogs cut up in bake beans. I love porknbeans! It warm in our kitchen with the stove on. Dwight butter his bread, he don’t even look at me.
It warm in our bedroom under the covers! Me an Dwight on our new used beds waitin for Mama come kiss us good night. Our new used beds is fun! Dwight readin his homework, it’s Friday! He don’t gotta read his homework, he jus don’t wanna look at me!
I won’t get on your new used bed no more, Dwight.
He look up, his face surprise.
Thank you, he say. Like he really mean it, his eyes shiny like it all important. I don’t like sleepin by myself. I liked sleepin with my brother. But Dwight’s eyes tell me him likin his alone is bigger n my not likin my alone.
We got room now, Dwight. Look! I make a snow angel on top of my covers for Dwight, an I don’t even kick no one doin it.
DWIGHT
Second week a May spring comes, sunny an warm. Friday locker room the Wiley twins bring up the idea a pickup baseball Saturday. Richard an Chester say they in. Percy can’t, gotta help his dad paintin some houses which make him mad, a few others also got chores an everybody else don’t live close enough. Spread the word, says Mokie. An since every colored boy our age settin right here, Spread the word mean to white.
Roof say sure, one a the lass games fore he off to work the mines. (I think, I’ll believe that when I see it.) Roof asks Zack who says okay.
Two o’clock we meet, our school playground. Ten of us, so each team get a pitcher, catcher, first base an two outfield, the catcher doublin as ump an sworn to be fair. Since the game was the twins’ idea, they get firs dibs to be captains, but course only one of em gonna do it since they always wanna be on the same team. Marco says yes an Mokie forfeits his captaincy to Richard. So Marco picks Mokie, then Richard picks Chester, then Marco picks Brett the white boy live near him an Mokie, then Richard picks Trudie the white tomboy he brought, then Marco picks me, then Richard picks Zack, then Marco picks Kip the white boy live near Chester, then Richard picks Roof.
Richard’s a real athlete, an a good sport cuz he says he’ll play outfield knowin if he’s pitcher every innin jus be three up three down for the other team, which is us. Everybody else is decent players, but with the lack of a full outfield defense by the bottom a the sixt it’s twenty-eight us, thirty-three them.
I’m walkin in from the field when I notice through the chain-link behind the batters we got us a fan. Seem like he been there a little while. Lookin content, watchin the innin change, his fingers grippin the wire criss-crossins an then he turn right to me.
Hey Dwight.
Hey Carl.
The moment I spied him I wondered is he sore at me. Here’s a neighborhood pickup game I didn’t even tell him was goin on. More significant, after that day comin over for my birthday present I ain’t been by since. Partly it’s about goin our separate ways with our different schools, but also takin up with Carl again mean bein with his family, an while his folks ain’t never been nothin but nice to me, I just as soon never again be in close vicinity of his father when his father in close vicinity of a wine bottle.
An anyway nothin never stopped Carl from comin to my house. Why’m I always expected? Cuz he got the Monopoly? badminton? Or cuz I’m sposed to be all fine aroun white people but he less comfortable, house a Negroes.
All this weighin on my mind yet now it occur to me he don’t seem mad at all. Lookin the opposite: smilin, wishin he was playin but not complainin, an I feel guilty. Lean my back gainst the fence, nex to him, me lookin at the game from the inside, him lookin at it from the out.
You goin to camp again this summer?
Yeah. This’ll be my last year though. Thirteen. Unless I wanna be a counselor.
Do ya?
Hell no.
Kip gets a triple.
My dad says if the weather stays nice, w
e can put up the volleyball net next weekend. You should come over.
I look at my glove, inspectin it. Tattered, I had it since fith grade.
I thought. You kinda had your friends from your school now.
Carl frowns, shrugs. They’re alright.
Marco brings Kip home an puts himself on second.
There’s a girl though.
I turn to him. He looks down, laughs embarrassed.
I think. I think she likes me.
I look at my glove again, yank out some threads. That bring out more threads, yank them out.
What she look like?
Blond. Two braids down to her waist. Freckles. Not too many.
She in your section?
The beginning of the year she was, 7-B. Polly Swift. Always sitting right in front of me, alphabetical. We were just getting to be friends, then three days after school starts my dad gets me moved to 7-A. Carl sighs. Luckily, alphabetical we still see each other in homeroom. Sometimes the library. I didn’t even wanna go to 7-A! Bunch of pricks.
Some argument whippin up: ball or strike? My heart flyin, hand in my glove shaky. Me an Carl never mentioned girls lass summer. But so what? Why the subject make my brow sweat?
I haven’t told anybody. Those guys from school. You’re the only one.
You gonna say somethin to her?
I don’t know. He runs his han through his hair, his eyes shiny. I don’t know!
Brett slam it toward firs an take off runnin, but firs-base Trudie claim it’s a foul. Everybody get into the act now, squabblin. Roof stand up at home, turn aroun to look for me, only other person not in the fight. His eyes narrow when he see who I’m with.
You like any girls at your school?
Deep breath. They’re all nice.
I’m sure they’re all nice. I’m asking about anybody you like.
Hey kid.
Me an Carl both turn to Mokie.
Look, we need an impartial ump. You do it?
Carl looks at me. Then he looks at Roof. Then he looks at Mokie.
Sure.
Long innins. In the bottom a the seventh, Roof’s on third. Richard slams it into leff field. When Roof sprints home, he rams himself into Carl, knockin the ump over.
Hey! says Carl.
Sorry, says Roof, not hidin his smirk.
Carl pulls up his pant leg. Blood.
Sorry, says Roof, not smilin no more, jus walkin away.
Top a the eighth our team finally pulls ahead. After an unspoken period a probation, Carl the ump comes to be respected an his calls all taken as official cuz his calls all seem to be fair. People seen me talkin to him an were likely waitin to see if he’d show me favoritism, an they seen the way Roof looks at Carl an prolly wondered he show him antifavoritism, but when Roof come runnin to my firs base an the ball got to me a moment too late before I tagged him, Carl called it safe like he shoulda. Only Roof still wants to fight some a the calls when nobody else is, an it’s startin to get on people’s nerves. Comin up on 5 p.m. an we’re wantin the dang game over.
When Richard’s team takes the field top a the ninth, they’re pitchin the ball to each other a few minutes to warm up their catchin in this lass chance to hold us. While they’re hurlin it Carl’s turned aroun, lookin at us linin up for the bat. Outfielder Trudie throws it to pitcher Chester who throws it to firs baseman Roof who throws it to Zack at home except instead a Zack it zoinks Carl on the backa his head, an he goes down, still.
Everybody runs to Carl. Lyin on his back, arms out like Jesus. You okay? You okay? Then he sets up, rubbin his head. Yeah, I’m okay. Just grazed. He looks a little fuzzy. Sorry, sorry, Roof’s sayin, an he looks it, looks scared.
I’m okay, says Carl standin up, shaky.
After a few minutes Carl looks better, an everyone starts goin back to their places. Headin for the field Richard mutters to me, Looks like your white boys is fightin over ya.
What! I swerve to him. Carl’s jus two feet away but doe’n’t seem like he heard, maybe he’s still a little dizzy. Meanwhile Richard jus keep movin like I ain’t said nothin, hurls the ball at Chester the pitcher then trots to the outfield. Chester throws it to outfield Trudie, Trudie throws it to Roof. When Roof sends it back to her, his throw’s suddenly shy-gentle, apparently not wantin to knock out nobody else.
Bottom a the ninth they’re up, one out, forty-four us, forty-two them, Zack on first an Trudie on third, Roof up. I notice Carl take a step backward, like just in case Roof swing the bat too wild. Roof lets the firs pitch go by, ball. But when he goes for the second an misses, his swing’s so dainty seem like if he had hit it it wouldn’ta gone more n three feet.
Let’s go Barton, says Richard, pickin up on Roof’s timidness.
So nex pitch Roof swing hard an it goes sailin over our outfield heads. I sprint after it. Trudie come home, Zack come home which ties it, an seein Roof roundin third I hurl that ball all the way to catcher Brett. My throw is perfect, Brett’s catch is perfect, Roof flyin toward him an Carl takes two steps well outa the way a collision. Roof slides, Brett tags him, an then Roof touches home. Our team cheers, only one more out an we hold em at the tie, give us another chance, extra innin. Richard’s team groans an then Carl makes the signal.
Safe.
For a few seconds everybody, includin Roof, jus stare at Carl, open mouth. Then my team start screamin the fury an Richard’s team applauds, but lookin more puzzled than triumphant. Roof glares at Carl. Carl stares at Roof peaceful, all Buddha. Then Roof slams his bat down an leaves, stompin out the playgroun an I guess stompin all the way home.
I walk back with Carl, wantin to make sure he’s okay after that bump on the head. We’re quiet a long time, then he says, That’s why you haven’t been over lately? Cuz I’m white?
I’m startled, then guess he heard somethin a what Richard said.
How come it’s always gotta be your house? How come you never come to mine?
He stops an looks at me, like maybe that never occurred to him. Okay, he says. Okay. Can I bring Monopoly over?
There’s a bunch a birds all gathered over a piece a bread on the sidewalk. Carl growls, runnin through em an they fly away in a panic. Soon as we pass, they come back.
I’m pretty nice to that kid, huh? Considering he’s never given me anything but a bloody knee and a concussion.
How come you did that? That lass play?
He gets a funny smile on his face. Show you’re the bigger person. That’s what I was always taught.
I don’t think your mother meant for you to cheat.
Who said anything about that bitch? My father.
I don’t say anything for a minute. I’m thinkin about him actin the bigger person, about him seemin so nice to Roof today when he knows damn well I know how nasty he can be behind Roof’s back, an what. He think Roof’s too dumb to see it?
What’re you friends with him for? Tell you what. In school, all he’s ever seen with is the trashiest.
An how you judge who’s the trashiest?
By how often I overhear nigger thrown around which in their case is about five times a sentence.
I kick a big rock high, later I know my toe be achin but now I don’t care. I wanna punch Roof, this jus the culmination of a long day a his crap, but somethin ain’t settin right. For one thing, ain’t nobody gonna tell me all a Carl’s high n mighty 7-A cohorts never occasionally put that word to use in a sentence themself.
Course I’m never around his class. Dummies. But some stuff, can’t help but hear in the halls.
It ain’t been easy for him.
Why, cuz he’s poor? Carl spittin the word, like it tastes bad, like there’s Roof on the one hand an my family an his on the other. Rockefellers.
His sister died.
What?
It was hot, way I heard it. He was three
an she was a year, couldn’t hardly catch their breath, their house like a sauna. To cool em off, Miss Ray Anne takes the worshtub out in the yard an fills it up with cool water, put em in it. But somethin happened. Nobody remember what the emergency was but she had to go back in the house, just a minute, an when she return the baby drowned. Roof watched her drown. Till his mother got hysterical, he thought the baby layin face down in the water was jus playin.
Jesus.
Roof don’t like water. Scared to swim, never learned. Won’t even go to the crick.
Carl squints into the sun.
Don’t tell no one what I said. Sometime Roof make me mad too but. I don’t know.
Last summer you promised you’d take me to the crick.
Okay. I shrug. This summer.
After I drop Carl off at his house I’m about to turn into mine, barely make suppertime, when I see Roof standin in his front yard behind his broke wood fence starin at me. An suddenly I don’t know why I said that stuff to Carl. In the moment it seemed like maybe it’d make peace between em. In the moment I felt like Carl tole me about that girl, in the warm weather like lass summer when we was close an guess in the moment maybe I wanted to be friends with Carl again. But why’d I decide to rekindle with Roof’s business? An what was I thinkin anyway. Pityin Roof might make Carl like him better? I walk up to Roof’s house.
He cheated.
I say nothin.
That lass run. Brett got me out, an Carl called safe.
I know.
He glares at Carl’s house.
Bastard! Why’s he gotta do what he do? Then he turn to go back inside his house.
Roof.
What.
You hit Carl in the head on purpose?
He thinks.
I can’t remember.
I look at him.
I know I hate him. I know I turned aroun fass throwin the ball. I know he went down. Roof stop now, ponderin them three facts, like he ain’t sure himself how they all might fit together, then turn aroun again, up on his porch, go inside an shut the door.
Sunday afternoon Mama makin her lass-chance apple pie, what she call it, lass chance fore the ingredients be scarce: flour an the sugar an the butter. The government jus give us the ration book. Me an Eliot watch her, waitin for the dough.
