by Kia Corthron
Knock at the back door. Carl holdin the Monopoly board.
Come on in Carl, she says. Would you like some dough?
All the times I been to Carl’s his mother offerin the freshly baked brownies or cookies an course firs day since Christmas he come to my place an my mother: Here’s a fine pile a raw dough for ya.
Dwight an Eliot like it, she says.
I love dough! Eliot practically bouncin outa his chair.
Okay, says Carl.
She makes more n she needs for her crust so Eliot, Carl an me get nice big balls. I’m bettin Carl’s thinkin this must be how the coloreds snack, an if I ain’t already embarrassed enough my mama gotta put her arm aroun me an gimme a kiss in fronta him.
I like dough, Carl says. I look to see if he’s serious. He seem to be, an he sure eat every lass gooey crumb.
We set on my bed an by the fourth pass go I’m handin over three hundred thirty for landin on his two houses on Atlantic Av.
I used to lick the bowl. Then he quiet, starin at the houses I jus paid rent on. When she’d make a cake.
How come you don’t no more?
He rolls. Indiana! Looks like that gives me a complete set on the reds.
Eliot hoppin in.
Whaddya want?
Crayons. Colorin with Mama. He get em out the drore, then hop out the door an down the steps.
I’m gonna talk to her, says Carl. Before the end of the school year.
I stare at him. Your mother?
Polly!
Aaaaaah! By now I know the rent on his Tennessee hotel, start countin out the nine-fifty.
You know who else hops like your brother?
I shrug. My reserves don’t look good.
My mother.
I look at him, frownin.
He laughs. My aunt Grace told me. She and my mother never got along. Family reunion my grandmother gave a couple years ago, she tells me about how giving birth to my sister almost killed my mother, she never wanted to go through that again. So twice after when my father planted her up, she’d drink some special tea and hop up and down and eventually the thing roll out, all bloody. Hop! hop! hop! Carl hops every time he says it. The first time hop! hop! hop! It worked! that baby right down the toilet. Second time, hop! hop! hop! Flush! But not me. Hop! hop! hop! She tries. Hop! hop! hop! Try again. Hop! hop! hop! Hop! hop! hop! Hop! hop! hop! I’m stuck like cement. Aunt Grace thought it was a sin what she did to the others, Aunt Grace said she feels children should always know the truth. So when we got home I repeated the truth to my mother. First she tried to lie her way out of it, then the apologies. Oh Carl I’m so sorry! Carl playin like he’s cryin. Please forgive me! That was such a long time ago! I’m so happy to have you, I LOVE you! Oh! and Please don’t tell your father! Carl snickers.
So that was the end of me licking any bowl that lying bitch’s fingers been in. On the other hand. You know that erector set, half-birthday? Looks like I’m getting that and an amateur radio kit, Free Parking! He full-blown ecstatic cuz he convinced dumb me to put all the Chance an Community Chest money in the center for whoever land on Free Parking, winner take all.
I’m envious Carl got a granmother to be throwin a reunion. I’m a granparent orphan. All died before I was born or when I was little, the only one I remember’s my mama’s mama who passed when I was six. At the funeral dinner several ladies separately told my mother how Gran meant the world to em, an afterward I heard Mama whisper to Daddy how when they were young an in trouble Gran helped em out. I had to get older to figure out what young an in trouble meant for girls, so what? That’s what Carl holds gainst his mother? Mrs. Talley’s one a the kindest ladies I know, her only fault bein spoilin Carl. An this is why? An don’t her treatin her son like King Dog only lead to him bitin the han that feeds?
Still I feel a little sorry for Carl. It all honestly seem to bother him. I roll two an a one.
It wa’n’t you.
He look up.
Not her fault. Nothin to take personal, jus tryin to get rid of it. She couldn’t tell it was you.
Oh you know all about it, huh?
I shrug, waitin to see how mad he gonna get. Then he laugh to himself, some joke I ain’t invited into. Roll. Eleven! Land him on Park Place to match up with his previously attained Boardwalk. Looks like you might be in need of a loan soon, Campbell. Trottin his car roun the board, then look up an grin. My interest rate’s not too high.
ELIOT
Crickets. Stars. I smell the coffee, muss be almost mornin! I hear her on the steps. Dwight! Eliot!
I’m wake! I’m already wake, Mama, you don’t have to wake me! Hahaha! Dwight! I say. Time to get up! Our trip! He don’t stir but I hear a sigh.
I got toast! I love toast! Where we get a car, Daddy?
You know Mr. Briar from the Chicken Shack? He’s my daddy’s firs cousin. He couldn’t go to the picnic but he loan me his car.
Eat your toast Dwight, Mama say.
I like the car. It smell good! Dwight still wanna ack sleepy-mad but he like the car too, all innerested, the outside an the inside. He behine Mama, I behine Daddy, driver. The sun come up. I count the cows.
How long to Pennsylvania?
Two an a half hours, Daddy tell me but he don’t turn aroun, his eyes straight ahead, drivin. To Latchmore, Pennsylvania.
How long’s two an a half hours?
Shorter, you take a nap, say Mama.
I can’t nap! I can’t nap, hahahaha!
Stop hoppin! say Dwight.
Aunt Mae your sister, Mama?
Aunt Mae is Daddy’s aunt, she answer me. Uncle Mac is her husband.
But we miss the fireworks!
They got fireworks in Latchmore jus like in Humble, she say. But fireworks Fourth a July, today’s Decoration Day. An anyway this Fourth a July nobody gettin the fireworks. The war blackouts.
Memorial Day!
She look at me. What?
Mrs. Brent say Decoration Day’s Memorial Day.
She frown. When that change?
She say it always been Memorial Day. People jus took to callin it Decoration Day.
How Mr. Briar get gas for the car? Dwight wanna know.
Saved up his rations, say Daddy. He ain’t used his car much lately. Times he had to close the Chicken Shack. No jobs, who goin out to eat? But with the war jobs, he say the Chicken Shack profitable again.
Horses! I say, eyes out the winda. After a while Dwight fall asleep. Not me!
Car stop, I run!
Get back here, she say, say hi to Aunt Mae, Uncle Mac.
Hi Aunt Mae! Hi Uncle Mac!
Well hello there, Dwight.
I’m not Dwight! I’m Eliot!
Well hello there, Eliot.
I’m happy to see you, Eliot.
I’m happy to see you, Aunt Mae, then I run! I spelled aunt right on the spellin test, even if it sound like ant! Dwight already off with the big boys. Uncle Mac Aunt Mae got a big big yard, run run! Toddie’s six, me an Toddie pull up the worms after the rain lass night, lass night it rained in Latchmore, Pennsylvania.
You sleepin in the barn?
Yep! I tell Toddie. Then Uncle Buster an Aunt Meggie come with their six. Cousins! Red Light Green Light an Simon Says, I’m a airplane!
I’m a airplane too! say Toddie come up behine me an we laughin an he flappin an hollerin but I say Airplane don’t flap, Toddie, birds flap! Airplane wings smooth.
In the kitchen Aunt Beck shuckin corn. Yaw comin to stay with me tonight?
I nod!
Good. You wanna shuck?
I like shuckin!
Aunt Beck. Me an Dwight sleep in the barn tonight?
We’ll see. Don’t put that cob in the pot yet, you didn’t get all the silk out. John Alan, you remember your cousin Eliot?
Sure. Hi, Eliot. John Alan smile, rub my head nice, then out the door.
John Alan’s a good boy, say Aunt Beck. Straight A’s, goin into tenth grade now. Let’s see. I’m your daddy’s sister, an John Alan’s mama Anna Lee is your daddy an my first cousin, that make Anna Lee your second cousin, that make John Alan your third cousin I toldja don’t put no corn in the pot still got silk on it.
Toddie starin at me from the door.
You wanna play? she ask.
I nod!
Go.
Me an Toddie out the door! Little stream nearby, me an Toddie off to catch froggies.
I have to pee I have to pee. Toddie say Pee in the brook. No! My mama catch me smack my behine. I run back inside Aunt Mae’s Uncle Mac’s house, I run upstairs. Two kids in line ahead a me! I don’t know them cousins, cousins everywhere! Wonder if cousins from Uncle Mac’s side is my cousins? Pee pee pee pee pee pee pee I go in! Nick a time!
When I get out I’m gettin ready go outside look for Toddie but he right there with the other kids lookin at Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam do magic! One a the little kids pick a card, Uncle Sam guess it every time! Now Toddie got a card.
Four a hearts, say Uncle Sam.
What it is! How you do that, Cousin Sam? say Toddie. Toddie say Cousin Sam, my mama say Uncle Sam, Mama an Daddy say we gotta say Uncle an Aunt with cousins old enough to be uncle an aunt, we never say Cousin Capital C.
Come ere, Eliot.
Aunt Amy! I run to her! she in somebody’s bedroom. Aunt Amy hardly older n a firs cousin. She hug me, pick me up.
Oooh been a long time since I seen you! Look at those glasses! Look how big you gettin!
Seven!
Oh that’s practically grown. She have me on her lap on the vanity seat, lookin in the vanity meer, puttin on her makeup. Hummin.
What’s that, Aunt Amy?
My lipstick. You wamme put some on you?
No! She laugh. But I kinda do. I kinda wanna see what lipstick look like my lips. It smell good. I kinda wanna see what lipstick taste like.
Whatcha hum-hummin, Aunt Amy?
Praise the Lord, we’re on a mighty mission
All aboard, we ain’t a-goin fishin
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
And we’ll all stay free
I like that song! You sure got a lotta makeup, Aunt Amy.
That’s cuz I got a lotta money now, workin at the defense plant.
Whatchu do at the defense plant?
Well, I paint the antiaircraft shells. Big missiles. Taller n a house!
Taller n a house?! What color you paint em, Aunt Amy?
We paint the tips red. There’s orange in there too. Wanna see?
Yes!
She show me her han. It startin to turn orange.
Cheer from the hall! I run out, see what Uncle Sam doin. He pullin a penny from behine their ear, they get to keep the penny!
Me! Me!
He try to do me but he can’t fine no penny in my ear! He keep tryin, tryin. I tryin not to cry. Then he say, Oh this is the problem. I was lookin for a penny.
Then he pull out somethin silver, an he say, It’s a nickel.
Everbody lookin at my nickel! Then somebody yell from downstairs Kickball! All the kids run down. I want to too but I gotta pee again. Nobody in line this time! When I come out everbody gone. I start to go downstairs outside but I hear somebody laughin. I hear boys laughin, I see a bedroom door closed an I hear boys other side of it. I tip, tip. I crack it I peek. Big boys. There’s Dwight but he don’t see me. He settin nex to our cousin Tray, Tray light-complected. Dwight an the big boys, most of em bigger n Dwight. John Alan’s talkin, all the other boys listenin. I humped her I humped her, say Straight-A John Alan. She didn’t put up no fight, black n ugly as she was. I hear the boys laughin. I don’t know what John Alan’s talkin about. Wonder if Dwight know what John Alan’s talkin about. Dwight smile but he don’t like it I can tell he don’t like it. Then all the sudden Dwight lookin right at me. I can’t tell what his face is. I think his face is scared an I think other stuff too. I turn, walk back down the hall. I see Uncle Sam in that other bedroom talkin to Aunt Amy. Uncle Sam’s fun! I never met Uncle Sam before but when I seen his picture I always thought he was mean. I thought he was mean an white. His picture on the poster, in the magazines, but he look different. That white beard, pointin I WANT YOU FOR THE US ARMY I hear squealin from outside an remember Kickball. My fourth cousin Louise from high school pitchin for the little kids. I join the team. I kick a double!
Suppertime I get my hot dog, potata salad, Mama’s pickled egg, Aunt Mae’s porknbeans, corn me an Aunt Beck shucked. The little kids have races. I’m fass! I win the third race, I win the seventh! Toddie cryin cuz he don’t win none, he can’t even beat Chee-Chee an she’s five an he’s six. Then we get watermelon. I love watermelon! Then the big boys an the men playin baseball. Dwight up to bat, Uncle Avery on second. My brother crack the ball hard, him an Uncle Avery run all the way home! Gettin dark now, they hardly see the ball.
Over where the grownups settin, Uncle Sam with a cup in his han. Don’t you go, boy! he say to Lukey. Lukey’s John Alan’s big brother.
Already signed up, say Lukey. Basic trainin nex week.
Blame fool! say Uncle Sam.
I’m confused! When Uncle Sam white on the posters, he want peoples to sign up, he want YOU.
Bang! Bang! Bang! The fireworks, we havin fireworks after all, fireworks for Memorial Day! I search for em, I hear em don’t see em, then somebody snatch me up! Mama snatch me up, Where’s Dwight? she say, Where’s Dwight? Everbody runnin to the house. There’s Daddy! Where’s Dwight? Must be twenty little cousins an big people lookin out the front room winda, cousins an big people all over the house all inside. Uncle Sam shootin a pistol in the air! When he start to reload, some man cousins take him down. They knock him down hard an they knock him down more. He wipe his bloody nose. Mama come down the stairs with Dwight, Okay, she say, let’s go. Pullin away, I starin out backa the car. Uncle Sam all by hisself, he don’t look mad no more, look like he cryin.
We say Aunt Beck’s farm but for truth it useta be a farm but the land sole before Aunt Beck move in, she got a house an a barn an a garden. String beans. Cabbage.
Apple pie! It ain’t skimpy neither. How Aunt Beck make that big apple pie with the rations? Daddy skip it, stead help hisself to another ear a corn. Sweet this year, say Aunt Beck. That’s too much salt, Lon.
Bet you glad you married into this family, say Aunt Beck to Mama. Always a show!
Uncle Sam really shoot that gun?
Quiet, Mama say to me.
Sam fine till he get that liquor in him. Want some coffee with your slice?
Not me, Beck, keep me up all night.
Coffee never affected me. Course mostly milk an sugar in my cup. You want a cup, Lon?
I’m fine.
Aunt Beck. Me an Dwight sleep in the barn?
You have to ask your mama an daddy about that. Lon, you gettin butter all down your shirt, you know that corn was sweet enough, it didn’t need no butter. Daddy pick up his corn an go out, set alone on the edge a the porch to eat.
Mama, me an Dwight sleep in the barn?
Long as it’s okay with your Aunt Beck.
Tiny they named her good, say Aunt Beck. Sam’s mama. Not much bigger n a child. I never knew his daddy but musta been a mountain to look at Sam.
Maybe I don’t wanna sleep in the barn.
Dwight!
Your brother’s jus teasin you. Right? Mama give Dwight a look.
Dwight get a smile. Long as you don’t pee the hay.
I don’t pee! Not since before firs grade!
Settle down, say Mama.
Nine of us. Well there shoulda been ten. Me, then Patsy, then Sue Ellen, then Avery, then Lon, then Ceceli
a, then Bootsy, then Will Roy, then Ivy Lynn, then Amy the baby. Then the typhoid took Cece when she was two. But Sam. All he had was him an his mama, him an Aunt Tiny. After she gone—
I think Aunt Beck got more to say but she stop right there, now no grownups talk all quiet cep cricket cricket cricket. Daddy on the porch hearin us light a match to smoke.
Winda in the ceilin a the barn: stars. There is no animals in the barn, there is only hay for sleepin. Dwight take out his toy soldiers. I didn’t know he brung em, Mama didn’t know he brung em or she woulda said No, you’ll lose em. We play from the light streamin in from the kitchen.
Dwight. What’s humpin?
His eyes lift up hard on me. Say it in fronta Mama an Daddy, your butt be sore a month. Then he back to the soldiers. I knew it was a bad word from the way the big boys was laughin, I think but don’t say.
Mama come to the barn door. Go to sleep or come back in the house. Lucky not enough light for her see the soldiers. Then she shut the door, all black black. We lay down we can’t see nothin.
There is the moon. I’m wake now, see the moon shine bright through the barn door, what wake me? Barn door open an there stan the man. He stan dark in the door, I see shape a him no face, there is moonlights all aroun him. Dream Man.
You all sleep?
I look at Dwight. I look to Dwight but don’t turn my head jus my eyes. I can’t see Dwight’s face in the dark. He ain’t moved but I can’t tell if he wake.
You all joinin up?
He wait for us to answer, like it a real question.
Naw, yaw ain’t joinin up. Too smart. That dumb boy a Anna Lee’s goin in. Why the hell a colored man fight for this country?
Snap, flash. He light a cigarette. He puff it he blow it. I see the burn a the cigarette but him still a black shape man.
I been there. Army. France, that other war. I was sixteen. They wouldn’t gimme no gun. Cook. But once some bullets come flyin through, cook right nex to me take one through the head coulda been mine. He survived cuz I first-aided him but what kinda damn survival? Discharged him, how’s a nigger with half a brain can’t hardly speak no more sposed to get a job? He puff.
