Holding Her in Madness

by Kimber S. Dawn

  He made sure he stirred a response from her each and every time he fucked her, and while he tended to be quite cruel when the mood stuck him, he received a sick fascination from hearing her beg for more. But Eden never protested, never complained in the face of his oftentimes sadistic streaks. She was the dutiful, obedient wife who lived a lavishly luxurious life, and in exchange, he could damn well treat her however he wanted. In comparison to the squalor she’d grown up in and the poverty she and her single mother had faced, Eden would say that her marriage to Dominic was a small price to pay.

  She downed the champagne in one go and set the flute on the balustrade. She peered down just below into the nothingness and silently mused whether the darkness would catch her if she plummeted. Giving into a sudden bout of inanity, Eden slipped out of the four inch heels that had cost a small fortune and lifted herself up on the ledge. She bit her bottom lip to keep her smile at bay as she spread out her arms and closed her eyes. Fear was not an emotion she felt here, it was simply the darkness around her and the summer breeze caressing her skin. Exhilaration swept through her, the wind making her feel like she was flying. In that moment she was free. Freedom enveloped her on all sides and took her away from everything. Up here she was nothing and everything all at once. She opened her eyes and looked down into the abyss, facing her mortality. Laughter burbled up from the pits of her stomach and escaped on the wind.

  “Don’t jump.” The unexpected sound of that voice shattered through Eden’s introspection, startling her completely. She wavered, her body teetering towards the precipice and her heart racing, now for a completely different reason as real fear poured like ice water into her veins. She was going to fall, she thought inanely, but then… she wasn’t. Instead, she was forcefully yanked backwards by an unyielding manacle of flesh around her waist. Eden landed unceremoniously on top of her rescuer in complete disarray, stunned at what had almost been her death.

  “I do sincerely hope this isn’t what it looks like, Eden?”

  Her senses returned just then, and her husband’s drawl had Eden closing her own eyes for a brief second, attempting to regroup herself before she had to face him. She came to her feet unsteadily, unconsciously leaning on the guy who’d not only caused this mess, but had also rescued her from impending death. When she found her footing, Eden turned to him with a tentative smile before meeting her husband’s gaze. There was nothing on Dominic’s classically handsome features that indicated his fury; he looked unperturbed, bored even with this scene, but Eden knew the truth. She’d become a veteran in reading his moods and nothing foretold it more than those cold green eyes.

  “Well, I’m not sure what it looks like to you, sweetheart, but this man just saved my life.”

  “Did he?” he retorted, sizing up the other man and quickly dismissing him as someone of no consequence. “And what exactly was it that he saved you from, pet?”

  Caught once more beneath that cold green stare, Eden attempted another tactic knowing that she was only making it worse for herself. “I was being silly,” she said with a small laugh, raking a hand through her hair to act every bit the airhead he believed her to be. “I was sitting on the ledge, not realizing how much I’ve had to drink. This man…” She stopped suddenly looking at the man with the blue eyes. “I’m sorry…I didn’t catch your name.”

  “Matt.”

  “Matt came along and pulled me down just before I tipped over.”

  “Well then, we should commend Bruce on hiring such agile employees.” He smoothly took off his dinner jacket and swept it over Eden’s shoulders. “And you, dear wife,” he tugged on the lapels of the jacket to bring her closer to him, “need to be a lot more careful.” The kiss was not only meant to exhibit ownership, but it was precursor to the punishment that was to come. “Now, let’s go home.” When he made to lead them away, Eden set a gentle hand on his chest to halt his progress.

  “What about the man who rescued the woman you love?” Dominic looked down at her and Eden knew she’d pushed too far, but she wanted him to acknowledge the man—Matt—for what he’d done. Eden wanted to watch her husband lower himself for a moment to the man he’d dismissed as nothing more than something he found under his shoe.

  “Very well.” He disengaged himself from her and slipped a hand inside his pocket. “What’s the going rate for rescuing damsels these days? Two…three hundred?”

  “A thousand dollars should do it, I think,” Eden said with a touch of spite, meeting those blue eyes that peered at her curiously.

  “A thousand dollars,” Dominic chuckled drily, “I seem to recall paying a lot more for you, my sweet.”

  Eden blanched and her heart slammed painfully against her breastbone at the backhanded comment. He was so much better at playing this game of malice than she was. To think that she’d set out to humiliate him just now, but he’d volleyed so effortlessly, hitting her exactly where he knew it would hurt the most. She felt so sick all of sudden, and the air outside wasn’t enough to ease the tightening in her chest.

  “I’m good,” she heard Matt say, “I was just doing my job, sir.”

  “Then we’ll let you get back to it.” He turned away from Matt, a sure dismissal as any, before setting a hand at the small of Eden’s back, leading her away.

  The Darkness

  The moonlight filtered through the pine trees lining the fields, leaving shadows on the pavement. Cool air whipped my hair around as I enjoyed the crisp air that had been missing for months. I cranked up the radio and sang along to the lyrics from Justin Timberlake’s ‘Rock Your Body’. It was just the cool breeze, JT, and me. I couldn’t wait to crawl in my bed and close my eyes, getting lost in a dream world that had nothing to do with my current reality.

  The night had been perfect. I had dinner and drinks with my best friend, Sophia, and although I felt exhausted from a long workday I felt a sense of serenity. Spending time with Sophia always made me happy. She was like a sister to me and lived with me for over a year. I felt like part of me was missing since the day she moved out and left me alone.

  Dancing in the seat, screaming out the lyrics, I wanted someone that would do everything the song talked about. No one had ever made me feel the way that JT sang about women. The steering wheel shook in my hands and a screeching sound pulled me out of my JT trance.

  “Damn it,” I said, hitting the steering wheel with my palm.

  The orange flash from my hazards blinked against the dark pavement as I pulled off the road and my car sputtered to a stop. Bad luck seemed to follow me, and I took hold of the steering wheel, trying to calm my frazzled nerves. I knew the day would come, the day my car would die, but I prayed it would happen after my next paycheck… no such luck.

  Resting my head on the steering wheel, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Great, just fucking great.” I rocked back and forth, feeling sorry for myself, hitting my head into the cool plastic in front of me. I thought about who to call or where to walk. I hadn’t passed a gas station or even a damn streetlight in miles. Without picking up my head I reached for my phone, bringing it to the steering wheel without raising my head.

  “Shit.” The screen wouldn’t power on. The night keeps getting better and better. Sighing, I sat up and looked in the rearview mirror but only the shadows from the trees filled my view. No cars, neon signs, or streetlights. Fuck.

  I placed my hand on my chest to feel the beat of my heart, which was so loud I I swear it was audible. Visions from thrasher movies flooded my mind. Girl deserted on the side of the road until she’s found by a good Samaritan that ends up being a serial killer. I couldn’t stay here and wait for that to happen.

  Should I start walking to God knows where? Do I just sit here and wait for a stranger to offer me help? I never liked feeling helpless, I was too smart to be helpless, but it was the only thing I felt in this moment. I couldn’t just sit here and wait. It could be hours before someone found me in my car on this empty country road.

  I grabbed my purse, de
ad phone, and keys and climbed out of the car. My feet ached in the extra high heels I felt the need to wear tonight. I leaned against my car, giving my feet a moment to adjust, and looked in both directions. Neither of my options were ideal or close and I was exhausted and my feet fucking screamed just from standing still. Thank God I could sleep in tomorrow after the way this evening was ending. I remembered seeing a gas station a couple miles back – better to go with what I know then to walk into an uncertain future. I tapped the lock button on my key chain one more time, helping relieve my OCD need to double check everything, before I walked away from the car.

  Barely clearing the body of the car, a light came over a small hill in the distance and almost blinded me from the brightness. The roar of the engine grew louder as the distance closed. I waved my arms as a figure came into view, but the asshole biker drove right passed me as I screamed, “Hey! Hey!” The wind from his speed caused the dust on the road to kick up and fill my mouth, eyes, and nose.

  I turned around, coughing, and screamed toward the bike. I knew it was pointless. There was no way in hell he’d heard me yelling above the roar of his bike, but he had to see me. The red taillight lit up the road as he slowed down and turned the bike in my direction. He was coming straight at me and quick. I swallowed hard, unsure if this was my best idea of the night – I’d already made too many mistakes to dwell on at the moment. He was my only hope to getting home.

  I stood there like a deer in headlights, unable to move and just gaped at him. My hands shook as I balled them into a fist and my breath was hard as the figure on the bike came to a stop in front of me. The bike was loud, almost deafening, and I took in the sight of him on the machine. The bike was a Harley, a fat boy, with no windshield and chrome handlebars. His hands gripped the bike as I took in the sight of him. Black boots, dark jeans, and a dark t-shirt. He was large, muscular, and I sucked in a breath as my eyes reached his face. Beautiful. Not girlie pretty, but handsome and rugged. His features were distinct even in the moonlight. A cocky grin played on his lips as he watched me ogle him. Fucking hell.

  “Need some help lady?” he asked, removing his helmet and running his fingers through his disheveled hair. The dark hair stood up on the top, probably from the helmet head he had just tried to fix. The sides were short and clipped, but the top had a little length. I couldn’t see his eyes; a pair of tinted glasses hid them. He looked like a nice man but how can you tell if someone is a creep just by his looks?

  “Do you have a cell phone I could use to call for a ride?” I asked without taking a step in his direction. Distance – leave room to run. Who the fuck am I kidding? I couldn’t make it five feet in my damn shoes.

  “Sure,” he said leaning back on his bike. I studied his body as he reclined, digging in his pocket to retrieve the phone. His jeans were tight and his muscles showed through the denim fabric. Everything clung to him. I wanted to poke him to see if he felt as hard as he looked. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  He held out the phone to me, but I was too busy staring at him to notice. “Lady, you wanted my phone?”

  Snapping back to reality with the sound of his deep voice, I took a step toward him and reached for the phone. “Oh, sorry.”

  My fingertips grazed his palm and a tiny shock passed between us, his finger closing on my hands as I pulled away. My heart that had calmed a bit now began to race in my chest. It had to be my hormones. I hadn’t had sex in God knows how long – I stopped counting after three months. The man in front of me wasn’t my type. He looked like a whole lot of trouble and I didn’t need that in my life.

  I stepped back a couple of feet, keeping my eyes trained on him, and dialed the only person close enough to help. The phone rang and his eyes traveled up and down the length of my body – with each ring, my stomach began to turn… I didn’t have anyone else to call.

  “There’s no answer. Thanks,” I said, handing the phone back to him.

  “Let me take a look and see if there’s anything I can do. Okay?” he asked, angling the bike to shine the headlights on the hood.

  “Sure,” I said as I hit the unlock button on my car key. Climbing in, my eyes stayed on him as I put the key in the ignition. No one will hear me scream if he tries to kill me. I couldn’t let my guard down.

  He put the kickstand down and climbed off the bike, placing the helmet on the seat. Pulling the hood latch next to my seat I watched him from the relative darkness of my car. He was large, had to be more than a foot taller than me and looked even more solid with the bike light illuminating his body. I stared at him like a piece of meat through the gap between the hood and my car. He oozed masculinity and ruggedness and I tried to picture him without all those skintight clothes. The muscles in his arm rippled as he touched the parts under the hood.

  Every man I’d dated just didn’t work out. They were nice guys, but that spark I wanted was always missing. People think I’m a good girl, and I am, but my mind is filled with dirty thoughts that I could never share with another soul. I’ve shared them with Sophia, but she doesn’t count. I’ve never shared a fantasy with a man and no one had ever done anything fantasy worthy with me. I can barely speak the words that you’d need to use to describe the things I want done to me or that I’d want to do to another person in this world.

  “Ma’am,” he said, snapping me out of the evaluation of my sex life or lack thereof.

  “Sorry, yes?” I asked.

  “Can you try and start it for me, please?” he said, leaning over the hood again.

  “Now,” he said as I turned the key. The car churned and churned. “Stop,” he said over the screeching noise. He moved methodically throughout the engine of the car. “Try it again.” I turned the key and still, nothing.

  I turned the key to the “Off” position and watched him as he stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. The only thing I could see was his crotch. I could only stare, motionless. His t-shirt covered the belt loops and stopped just above his crotch. Damn. He fills out those jeans. He has to be big. Everything about him is big – he couldn’t, just couldn’t, have a small cock, could he?

  The last guy that I’d slept with was more the size of a party pickle. It was the most unsatisfying sexual experience of my life. He was a teacher and I wanted someone who was educated and self-sufficient but he was boring in and out of the bedroom. I thought I’d found that with Derek, Mr. Pickle, but I was wrong. He was a wreck and filled with more mental issues than anyone I’d ever know. He was germ-a-phobic, which was problematic when having sex. He’d jump right out of bed immediately after sex to shower and wash the dirty off. I sighed to myself remembering his need to be clean.

  The hood of my car made a loud thump as he slammed it closed. “Your car is a little tricky. Foreign cars can be complicated. I can’t seem to get it to start,” he said walking toward the driver side door.

  “It’s okay. Thanks for trying.” I climbed out of the car, leaving the door open to thank him. What the hell am I going to do now?

  “I was heading to the bar up the road. Want to join me?” He smiled and tilted his head as he studied me. “ You can call a tow truck from there. It may take them a while for them to get out here.”

  I studied him and thought about the other options I had, but nothing came to me. He was my only hope, my saving grace, from the dark roadside and a means to an end. There are worse things than climbing on the back of his motorcycle and wrapping my arms around his body. “Okay, but I’ve never been on a bike.”

  “Never? How is that even possible?” he asked shaking his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. His teeth sparkled in the light and they were beautiful. His jaw was strong, his cheekbones jutted out more when he smiled, and a small dimple formed on the left side of his face.

  I looked down at the ground a little embarrassed by my inexperience. “I don’t know. I just never knew anyone that owned one and I find them totally scary.”

  “It’s not far from here and there isn’t much traffic. I’ll keep you
safe,” he said, holding out his helmet to me.

  My stomach fluttered as I closed the car door and thought about my first motorcycle ride. The black round helmet felt cool against my fingers when I took it from his hand. I scrunched my eyebrows together as I studied it. I didn’t know if there was a front or a back, or how to put it on.

  “Here, let me help you,” he said reaching for the helmet and removing it from my grip. His hand touched mine and again I felt a spark. Not a real spark, but one that I felt with every fiber of my being from the slightest touch of him. My body wanted him touch but my mind was throwing up the caution flag.

  Placing it gently on my head, he ran his rough fingers down the straps, almost caressing my skin, to adjust it to fit my face. I inhaled deeply trying to fill all my senses with him, he smelled different than any other man I’d smelled before. He didn’t smell of a cheap cologne but there was a spicy woodsy scent that reminded me of home. I closed my eyes, relished the feel of his warm skin against mine, when the warmth of his touch disappeared.

  “All done, are you ready?” he asked.

  I opened my eyes quickly, heat creeping up my neck because I had been lost in the moment and in his touch. “Yes.” I prayed my voice didn’t betray me after being lost in the feel of him against my skin.

  He climbed on the bike, sliding forward, making room for me behind him. “Lift your leg and climb on.”

  Placing my hand on his shoulder to help balance myself, I lifted my leg and sat on the seat, my body slid forward, smashing against him. Rock solid. He turned his head and looked me in the eyes. “Put your feet on the pegs and wrap your arms around me. I don’t bite, well, unless you want me to.” He smirked and my heart felt like it was doing the tango in my chest as I pressed against his back. He did not just say that to me, did he? I lifted my feet off the ground, turning over complete control to the stranger I was entrusting with my life. I locked my hands together completed wrapped around him.