by Jaime Marks
She was almost more pissed that for some reason it bothered her that he had Kyle. Why would she even give two shits? She hated Kyle. At least that’s what she kept telling herself. She couldn’t imagine ever forgiving him after what he’d done to her. Unfortunately the issue was she couldn’t really remember what he’d done.
She knew he was there when they raped her, knew he held her down, but did he actually rape her? He’d never disputed it. No matter who accused him, Kyle bore the responsibility for what had happened to her but he’d never actually discussed it. Truthfully he’d never indicated one way or another if he had taken place in the rape; not to her, not at school, not when confronted by Mythos, never.
“Argh!” She groaned in frustration.
She needed something to fight. The demons in her mind weren’t going to allow her to rest until this situation was handled and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t fight Lazurys, Alayne, or even Kyle at the moment.
As if in answer to her thoughts she felt that familiar pull. It had been gnawing at her the last few days. John was calling to her through the binds he’d formed. Fighting it was harder than she wanted to admit. Steph ground her teeth. She was almost tempted to go see the bastard so she could take her frustrations out of his ass, but that would risk giving him more of an opening to pollute her with his Darkness.
“Are you alright, Stephynia?” Mythos asked from beside her.
She shook her head, “No Mythos, I’m not. Star and Byryn are gone. So is Kyle, and while that shouldn’t bother me in the slightest, it’s got me confused as hell because it does. Cymeryn is about to all but commit suicide to try to save them all. John keeps trying to call me and it’s making me edgy because I would love to try to beat some answers out of him. Then to top it all off my whole body feels like it’s been sent through a giant blender and I’m exhausted but I couldn’t sleep if I tried. So no, I’m definitely not alright.”
He wrapped her in his arms. “I know, caria. I wish I had the answers to fix this mess but I can only hope that Marcus and Cymeryn were able to seek the guidance of the Divine Being. I fear only he will know how to rebalance our lives again. Otherwise our only hope is that Staryana and Byryn have a trick up their sleeves because I do not believe Cymeryn alone will be able to free them from the Dark Lord.”
She nodded absently as a pulse of Light flowed through her causing her to cringe in pain. It had been happening on and off but it never seemed to amount to anything. Still she knew she was going to hear it when Mythos stiffened as he aided her, drawing her essence into himself.
“Why did you not tell me you?” He demanded.
She shrugged. “In all honesty Mythos, my awakening has come and gone so many times that I feel like I’m crying wolf. I didn’t see any reason to bother you or anyone else with it until I was sure and I’m still not.”
“What is crying wolf?” Mythos studied her in a confusion that almost had her laughing, almost. She sometimes forgot that he didn’t always understand Earth references.
“It’s when a person says something bad is going to happen to get attention over and over again until no one believes them. I’ll have to find you a copy of the ‘Boy who cried Wolf’. It’s an old fable.” She patted his chest and went to step away.
“Hmmm.” His eyes narrowed on her as he caught her and held her fast. “First, you aren’t ‘crying wolf’, as you so eloquently put it. You are in the throes of your awakening and it has been erratic and unpredictable. Just because it ebbs off at times does not mean that it is inconsequential. It could just as easily peak suddenly and unpredictably, Stephynia. It is not something to take mildly. If not properly attended, you could die,” he lectured and she could feel the control he was using to hide how angry he was at her for taking risks with, in his opinion, her life. “Secondly, your awakening is not a bad thing. It is beautiful and I cannot wait to share it with you, to have that connection and be able to show you the entirety of our Kingdoms. You should have told me your essence was pulsing again.”
She sighed, “I’m sorry, Mythos. There was just so much going on and the Kingdoms are in such a fragile state that I didn’t see the point in distracting you unless things actually started to progress.”
“That is even more reason why you need to be of care with your health, my caria,” he murmured caressing her cheek. “Our subjects already believe they have lost their Princes and Princess to Darkness. Despite how new their existence in this world may be, their presence fostered hope in a way in which our Fae have not seen in many years. To many of the Fae they have come to be the representation of Redemption and all we are trying to establish. Losing them in such a public manner has caused much upheaval. There is nothing we can say to assuage those fears until they return.”
You, as the future Queen of the Fae, yet grant them some margin of hope. They see Reyana as Lunya and although she in Mythion her young will bear the Cymarcion name. The Mythion Line of Lucerna in many way dies with me. I have never before taken a mate. I have no heir. If something were to happen to you it would throw our world into a state of complete uncertainty that we cannot afford,” he explained kissing her head. “You are every bit as important as the welfare of the Kingdoms. The welfare of the realms depends in part on you. Aside from that, Stephynia, you are important to me. I will always have time for you despite the situation. Are we clear?”
She pondered his words. It was so hard to see herself as vital to anything. She’d been nobody for so long. She had been led to believe she was someone that had been discarded by her parents, someone who her Grandmother couldn’t even be bothered with. Before Star had come along she really didn’t have any friends at school either. No one except John had ever paid her any attention. Now she was not only a friend but someone’s mate, someone’s family, and an entire race’s Queen. It was a difficult concept to accept that what happened to her affected the lives of so many. Sometimes it was overwhelming.
Another wave of essence pulsed through her, causing her to sway but Mythos swept her up in his arms. “Come. You need rest, caria. I wish to get you settled in our bed. The pulses seem stronger this time and they seem to be coming regularly. Even if it ebbs off we should treat this as though you are progressing towards your peak.”
She nodded but clenched her teeth. The last thing she wanted was to be needlessly stuck in bed while the world was going to hell.
“Stephynia, look at me,” Mythos commanded.
She turned and met his loving eyes. “Yes, my King?” She teased trying to get him to relax.
He smiled at her in amusement before turning serious again. “I understand your frustration and your need to do something. I share it, but for now, allow me to take care of you, my Queen. You are my mate, my bond. I want nothing more than to be by your side.”
His words eased her pain somehow and she settled against his chest resting her head over his heart. “I love you, Mythos.”
“And I love you, Stephynia. More than words can say.” He leaned down, his breath brushing over her skin as he murmured in her ear, “If this truly is your awakening at last, I intend to show you exactly how much.”
She blushed as her breath hitched as she felt the heat of his desire. Even though just a moment ago she had hoped like hell that her awakening would wait until everyone was safe she suddenly had hoped it would take her right now. Mythos was her rock. He was the glue that held her together and she couldn’t wait until they could be united in every way.
Astryn threw her silken wrap on the bed and paced in aggravation. The last thing she’d wanted to be doing tonight was sitting with Talerys as he droned on about the progress of the new Hall of Scholars in the Realm of Balance. She needed to get away from him but every time she turned around her Father was forcing her to spend time with him. It had been nonstop since the ball despite her pleas.
They were going to try to force her into a betrothal, she just knew it. Talerys would stop at nothing and after what he’d done, what he’d stolen fr
om her…
Wiping her eyes she shook off the thought before she could finish it. She couldn’t think about that now. She had to find some way around this. Prince Kyle had made her promise him that she would go to his Father if she needed anything, but until this escalated she had to try to avoid it. Lord Cymeryn needed to focus on bringing the Princes and Princess back safely, not her. Besides, it was clear Talerys wasn’t above dishonoring her to claim her. Once he did she doubted the King of Night would be so willing to help her. The Fae were notoriously strict in their views of how females should behave.
This was ridiculous. The entire situation was a waste of time. Talerys wasn’t her mate. Being forced to deal with him or his trivial demands paled in comparison to what was happening in the Realm of Balance. All she wanted was to get back to the Palace Lunya and see if there was any information about Prince Kyle. She was concerned for Princess Staryana and Prince Byryn as well, but her thoughts had been monopolized by Kyle since the moment he left. Who was she kidding? She hadn’t been able to get him out of her head since she’d seen him at the banquet.
A knock sounded at the door and she turned in disgust, crossing her arms. She wished she could be honest with her Father, that he would trust and believe her, but he believed all the rumors and lies. He’d believe Talerys over her in an instant.
Fathers were supposed to love and protect their young. Why didn’t he? When she was little she’d thought he loved her, but now it was more like he thought of her as a commodity he needed to manage until he could make a profit from it.
Her Father entered without waiting for a reply, as always. She never had any privacy when he was home. He always said she needed to be looked after and if she didn’t have secrets she wouldn’t worry about what he would find. It was annoying but just a fact of her life.
“Good noon Astryn, my dear. How was your walk with Talerys?” Alyric smiled warmly.
She drew a deep breath wishing she could tell him the truth but she’d tried so many times. “It was…boring,” she finally scoffed. “Why do you insist on sending me on all these dates with these suitors, Dad? None of them are my true mate and I will not bond with someone who I don’t love.”
He sighed. “Astryn, it is customary for suitors to court you. Sometimes it is not clear that somefae is your true mate until you know their heart, or your own for that matter. Somefae do not even recognize their mates prior to their awakenings. I know you think it should be love at first sight but that really is not the reality of it.”
“Really? Let’s ask Mom about when she met you and see what she says. I’m sure she would be thrilled to hear you say that you didn’t know she was your mate right away.” With the love they shared it still shocked her that he’d started this craziness the moment she drew near courting age.
He cringed slightly. “In truth I felt a certain draw to your Mother from the start, but I was unsure what it meant until I spent more time with her. She would explain it the same. You are just so resistant to the idea of a mate that I believe you are closing yourself off from the possibility. Talerys believes you are his mate. He is next in line for the Head Scholar position here in the Realm of Light. He would be a proper mate for you, Astryn.”
She shook her head angrily. “You don’t get it. I don’t feel anything for them. Talerys, Kalceryn, Zyrtus, I feel nothing for them. They aren’t my mate. All you’re doing is encouraging them and they think this is going somewhere. You are making me mislead them because I refuse to bond with any of them.”
She was so tired of this game. She thought her Father had finally relented as long as she allowed Talerys to keep her company on occasion, but once he saw her dancing with Prince Kyle at the ball he’d begun forcing her to spend all her free time with him. They had shared every meal, gone for walks, he stopped by constantly unannounced, and he seemed to honestly think she was his now. He barged into her room, touched her whenever he could get her alone. She was terrified of him.
Now he had the rights to make that claim whether she liked it, especially with her Father’s support. If she denied him he had the power to dishonor her and destroy her completely. The entire situation was ridiculous but she didn’t care what custom dictated. There was no way she could tie herself to the bastard, not after what he did and not when she felt such a strong pull to Kyle. She could only hope the Prince would still accept her once Talerys revealed her.
Unfortunately she couldn’t tell her Father about Kyle or Talerys’ indiscretions. He would likely try to insist she be bonded to Talerys immediately. He could even technically force the issue. Luckily no one could force her to actually take part in the Bonding ceremony. She’d never give her consent to be bound to Talerys no matter what it cost her.
“Astryn, I really do wish you would speak like a proper Fae. You have never even been to Earth so there is no excuse for it. Aside from which, the way you talk one would almost believe you know who your mate is. You have no idea what it feels like when bonding sets in,” he spoke shrewdly in that methodical voice that he only used when he was trying to reason out an equation. She had to tread carefully.
“I know it isn’t any of them,” she replied matter of factly.
“It is not the Prince either,” he replied sternly. “You will not be mated to a Shade.”
Her jaw dropped. Did he know? How could he possibly know what she was feeling? She hadn’t said a word to anyone and she’d blocked everything so carefully.
“Do not be so surprised, Astryn. I am not a fool. I saw you together, how you let him hold you, how you pursued him. I will not have you place yourself in harm’s way with your foolish notions,” her Father stated levelly.
“Prince Kyle a Cymeryn is Gray, Dad. He isn’t Shade. I would think you of all Fae, a member of the Council, supporter of the Gray who will be making the conversion to Gray himself soon enough, would be more open-minded,” she all but spat.
“I do support the Gray, but he was born Shade. Even King Cymeryn a Cymarcion was born Fae, though I do not completely trust the King of Night yet either. I would be a fool to simply follow blindly. Aside from which, King Mythos is one of my most trusted friends and he and his Queen do not even trust the young Prince. You must understand, Astryn, I am only trying to protect you. You know the odds are minimal that he will even return and if he does return there is no way to know in what state. He will be corrupted by the very Darkness that once plagued his soul.” Alyric ran a hand through his hair and stepped forward to embrace his daughter but Astryn backed away from him. “I am sorry, Astryn. I am not trying to be hurtful. I know you do not wish to hear these things, but you have been skulking around since the eve of the ball. You need to hear this because you must know, Prince Kyle is lost. You must think about your future.”
She shook her head as tears streamed down her cheeks. “You’re wrong Father. For all you logic and reasoning, all the facts that you rely so heavily on, your books and all your equations…in this you’re wrong. I feel him.” She clutched her chest. “I feel him in my soul and I know he is alive and untainted though he’s in pain. Everyone else might give up on him, but I know he’s going to make it out of that hell and I will be there to help him through it once he does.”
She watched as her Father ground her teeth. “I am sorry, Astryn, but you are severely misguided. It is time to put an end to these foolish notions of yours before you cause more harm to your already delicate reputation. As soon as Lord Mythos can hear the decree, I am going to make your Courtship with Talerys official. I have already promised him your hand. It only needs to be recorded.”
“No,” she whispered in horror shaking her head. “I won’t do it. I will never bond to that male. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, you can do to force me to accept him. I will deny him in front of the whole of the Kingdoms. I would take dishonor and solitude before I’d ever even willingly spend time with him. I only see him because you make me.”
He breathed deeply holding her gaze but she held her ground and let him see her
determination. She wouldn’t let him do this to her. “Then you leave me no choice. I cannot risk you acting out and making a fool of yourself, nor can I allow you to put yourself in harm’s way out of some misguided belief that Prince Kyle is your mate.”
He turned from her and went to the door. “For your own good, you will be confined to quarters. You will not leave this suite without my approval and you will continue to attend to Talerys. If he truly does not make you happy I will allow you a choice. Either accept him or choose another suitor that you are more comfortable with, Maveryous perhaps? But if you do not accept a mate…you will force me to choose one for you and the choice will be Talerys. I will give you a month to come to terms with your future, but beyond that we will make the decrees and you will be immediately bound. You must move on from this nonsense.”
“Dad! You can’t do this,” she gaped at him in fear and disbelief. “You know this is wrong. We only get one true mate. I swear I will hate you if you do this to me. I’ll never allow it. You can’t force me to go through the Bonding. I will never accept Talerys and I won’t hurt Maveryous or any other Fae in this way. Kyle is my mate. I won’t betray him.”
“I am sorry, mine daughter, but I will protect you. You have already dishonored yourself enough. Pursuing this foolishness only risks bringing that to Light. I know you were looking forward to applying to the Order this term. Once you are bonded I am sure you will still be able to apply.” He turned and left, closing the door behind him.
Astryn ran for the door but it was locked. She looked around the sitting room in outrage. She may be female but that didn’t negate her rights and she would be damned if she let her Father dictate her future. She didn’t give a damn about the Order. It was never her intention to apply anyway. She’d only told him that so he would stop trying to force her to enter the Hall of Scholars and it had slowed down his attempts at finding her a mate.
She couldn’t do this, she wouldn’t. If she stayed here she’d be at the mercy of Talerys unless she agreed to be bound to someone else of her Father’s choosing. He’d forced her hand. There was nothing else she could do.
