Broken Dream (Dark Angel)

by Eden Maguire

  ‘She wanted you to do what – deal with me?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘Yeah, that’s what she told you. She said, “Don’t let Tania come back down the mountain. Do whatever you have to do.”’

  ‘I can’t talk about it,’ he said as he wrenched at the handle and flung open the door.

  ‘What now?’ I cried as he jumped out, grabbed a spade from the trunk and started to dig. I followed him, sinking knee deep into a drift. ‘Getting stuck in the snow wasn’t part of Gwen’s plan, was it? She knew about the meeting with Holly and Grace – someone told her about it. You saw them, didn’t you and persuaded them to turn around? What did you tell them?’

  ‘Yeah, I saw the girls,’ he admitted as he dug. ‘It made me laugh out loud, the way they zapped in on their superhero rescue mission. But they were easy to fool. All I had to do was tell one big fat lie.’

  ‘You lied?’ I echoed faintly. Any hope I had that help was at hand was rapidly fading.

  ‘I told them your mom got sick again and you went home to take care of her.’

  ‘How could you say that?’

  ‘Easy,’ he mocked. ‘I said, “Tania’s mom is back in the hospital. Tania went to visit her.” It worked like a dream.’ Orlando laughed as he carried on digging us out. ‘Where are Holly and Grace now? Do you see them?’

  ‘They’ll soon find out it’s not true. They’ll be back.’

  ‘But not soon enough – not with thirty centimetres of snow forecast. It’ll block the road out of Bitterroot. Anyway, what did the dumbasses hope to achieve, coming back here to see you?’

  ‘Orlando!’ I cried. ‘Listen to yourself. These so-called dumbasses are our friends, not our enemies. They’re on our side.’

  He cleared the back wheels then thudded his spade into the heap of dug snow. ‘We don’t have a side any more, remember. There’s you and there’s me. You’re in your own crazy little world, Tania, and finally I’m free. It took me a while but then I met Gwen and she knew how to put it into words for me – the doubts I always had about the whole dark angel thing, the way you manipulate me and make me feel guilty all the time. She made me realize I had to stop you doing that.’

  ‘By driving me off the track and abandoning me? Is that what this is about?’

  ‘Whatever it takes to be free,’ he muttered.

  ‘Please don’t,’ I begged, covering my ears to try to block out his stinging words.

  ‘Gwen showed me how far you’d dragged me down, how close you were to destroying me.’

  ‘No. You can’t trust Gwen. She twists everything. It’s what they do.’

  Orlando seized the spade and threw it into the truck. ‘“They”?’ he challenged.

  ‘The dark angels. They’re beautiful on the outside – that’s how they seduce you and draw you into their world.’ I was in the last-chance saloon and I knew it, so I put everything I could into trying to convince Orlando that he was in deadly danger. ‘But listen to me. They play with your mind and trap you. They’re twisted by their desire for revenge and they want you to join them in hell for ever.’

  ‘Gwen said you would try this,’ he said scornfully as he shoved me back into the truck. ‘She warned me about the types of mind games crazy people like you use. But it won’t work this time, Tania.’

  I fell against the steering wheel and he leaned in to pull me upright. Instinct made me grab his arm. ‘Stop,’ I pleaded. ‘Whatever it is Gwen has ordered you to do to me, you can choose to stop right now.’

  He laughed in my face. ‘Watch out, here comes Tania’s paranoia! Now crazy girl lets her imagination off the leash. This is where she thinks I’m going to drive her over the edge of a cliff and finish it for good. Or would you rather I tie you up and dump you back on that overlook where you could take in the view and slowly freeze to death?’ Slamming my door, he walked round to the driver’s side.

  I let out a sob of fear and frustration that the guy I was arguing with was no longer the Orlando I knew. He was a total stranger. Then I tugged at the door handle and scrambled out of the truck, aiming to reach the chairlift terminal on foot. But I didn’t get more than three steps through the soft snow before he caught up with me and blocked my way.

  ‘You’re not making this easy,’ he sighed. ‘All you have to do is sit in the car.’

  ‘I’m not coming with you,’ I said, pushing against him. By this time I could hardly make out the steel tower because of the blizzard driving in from the north, but I could hear the whir of the cable and the clink of metal as a gondola passed overhead.

  ‘And I’m not letting you get on that chairlift.’ Orlando refused point-blank to get out of my way. ‘We take the truck.’

  ‘I don’t trust you,’ I yelled. ‘I don’t want to go in the truck with you.’

  Exasperated, he threw himself at me, wrapped both arms tight around my chest and hauled me off my feet. I kicked and struggled, knowing that even if Orlando failed in his mission and I made it back to the lodge, dark forces were gathering in the corridors of Carlsbad Lodge – Jarrold hiding round a corner, Daniel laying in wait in a room close to mine, Weller stepping out of the elevator.

  A gondola clicked along the cable and paused at the terminal just long enough for a figure in a blue jacket to step out. As it emerged out of the blizzard and strode towards us, Orlando let me go.

  ‘So, Tania, you weren’t being straight with me,’ Rocky Seaton said. ‘You came to meet your boyfriend after all.’

  He’d spotted us through the falling snow – Orlando dragging me towards the car, me fighting him off – and I guess he thought we’d had a typical lovers’ fight. In any case it wasn’t the reason he’d come up the mountain.

  ‘Something bad happened,’ he told us, his face deadly serious. ‘Adam Kane went missing.’

  It was as if someone had shot me through the heart. It stopped beating and for a few moments I thought it would never kick back into life. ‘No, that can’t be right!’

  ‘It is. Everything’s crazy down there. They have everyone searching for the kid.’

  ‘I saw him heading for the nursery slopes with Charlie. He was totally fine.’

  ‘Charlie came back without him. He ran to the lodge to raise a search party.’ Rocky gave us the facts calmly, walking Orlando and me back towards the ski lift. ‘Natalia is asking for you, Tania. She’s half crazy but you were still the one she wanted.’

  With my heart thumping against my ribs I stepped into the chairlift, hardly noticing when Orlando pulled back and told Rocky he would drive his truck down the mountain. ‘Did Charlie say exactly what happened?’ I asked Rocky, who climbed into the gondola with me.

  ‘Adam took off down the slope while Charlie watched. He saw him veer off track and disappear over a ridge.’

  ‘Did he follow?’

  ‘Charlie says he went right after him – he was only about thirty seconds behind. When he took the ridge he found the next gorge was lined with redwoods. He tried to follow Adam’s trail but it just seemed to end at the base of one of the trees. Then he found a pair of abandoned skis and started to yell the kid’s name – nothing. So he ran to fetch help.’

  ‘And that’s where the search party is now – in the gorge?’ I checked as our gondola reached the main terminal. I’d already seen that the entire film crew had come down from the old mine to join the search. Among them, Jack stood out at the head of the bunch striding across the nursery slopes towards the ridge where Adam had vanished.

  ‘The theory is he lost control and crashed into the tree. Then, instead of waiting for Charlie he set off on foot towards the hotel, but he didn’t make it.’

  ‘My God!’ I groaned. Rocky and I had joined the stream of people descending on the gulley where Adam had disappeared. ‘He’s a tiny kid. It’s snowing. What are his chances?’

  ‘Don’t even think about it,’ Rocky advised as he took me to where Natalia was standing with Charlie, Gwen and half a dozen other helpers, all gathered around her.r />
  Natalia saw me and broke free from the group. She stumbled towards me and almost collapsed into my arms. ‘Is he with you?’ she pleaded. ‘Tell me you have him safe!’

  I shook my head and tried to hold her up, tried to think straight in a world that was falling apart. Snow blew into our faces and wind whipped through the trees where the search was concentrated.’ Did people stay behind to search the hotel?’ I asked Charlie, who took Natalia from me and held her close.

  He nodded. ‘That’s our best hope – that somehow he made it to the lodge. The problem is there are no tracks to follow. The snow and the wind take them out in seconds.’

  I took a deep breath to steady myself, closed my eyes and when I opened them again I saw Jack stumbling through the snow. He came up behind Charlie and wrenched him away from Natalia. Then he spun him round and threw a low punch, hitting Charlie in the stomach. Charlie staggered back but kept his balance. Jack swung his fist again. He toppled forward into the snow without making contact. Charlie stood over him, drawing back his foot, ready to kick out at Jack.

  The fight lasted maybe ten seconds before two guys from the Starlite technical crew stepped in to restrain Charlie and drag Jack up off the ground. By now I was holding Natalia again, trying to lead her towards the hotel until Gwen stepped in.

  ‘It’s OK, Tania, I’ve got this.’ She put herself between me and a sobbing, shaking Natalia. Taking control, she gave me an intense, angry look that I fought against and then gave in to. I felt my willpower weaken and crumble under her dark angel strength.

  So I stepped away and got drawn back into what was happening between Jack and Charlie.

  ‘Fuck you!’ Jack broke free from the cameramen and threw himself at Charlie, who stood his ground as Jack swore, grunted and swung wild punches. ‘Look what you did. First you wreck my marriage and my career and now you lose my kid.’

  Charlie didn’t flinch under the accusation. His face was impassive as two more guys piled in on top of Jack and succeeded in dragging him away. It was me who went to pick Jack up from under the nearest tree while Charlie followed Gwen and Natalia towards the hotel.

  ‘Listen, Jack – you want to find Adam. We all do. So forget about Charlie. Think about your son. They say he crashed his skis into a tree then tried to make his way out of the gorge instead of waiting for Charlie. Does that sound like something Adam would do?’

  Jack was back on his feet, but instead of listening to me and helping to figure it out, the very name ‘Charlie’ sent him crashing out of control again. He swore and pushed me away then staggered off deeper into the stand of snow-laden trees. Which left me alone and desperately wondering where my good angel had gone.

  I close my eyes and open them on my parallel universe. I’m in a white world which sparkles in the sunlight. The surface of the snow glitters.

  Adam appears surrounded by his halo of light. I walk towards him without my brain actually telling my legs to move, and it’s not really walking – more like floating. He’s smiling, telling me he’s not lost, holding out his hand.

  I relax. I breathe again. My body tingles from head to toe.

  ‘You will find me,’ Adam says softly. He looks incredibly young – hardly more than an infant. ‘The secret will be unlocked.’

  ‘Thank you for being here,’ I whisper, and as I look up into the clear blue sky a flock of grey doves soars high overhead and a woman’s voice speaks though she remains invisible.

  ‘Keep on searching,’ Maia’s slow, soft voice urges. ‘Rise to this final challenge. Be open to our voices, look around you with the innocent eyes of a child. Do not forget to reach out and take our hands.’

  ‘Where shall I look?’ I murmur. I want to find more than Adam’s disembodied, beautiful spirit – I need to find the boy himself.

  ‘In the place that you fear the most,’ Maia tells me. The doves swoop low. Sunlight catches their wings – the flashes of white, the soft greys and pinks of their feathers as they alight. ‘Evil dwells in the dark,’ she reminds me. ‘Deep in the ground the dark angels gather – fallen angels, devils in disguise. They exist in terrible, infinite darkness – the darkness of the soul.’

  ‘Under the ground,’ I murmur, and my heart quakes at the sounds of rockfall, the desperate voices of trapped men and the unnameable monsters who twist, writhe and crawl towards the light. ‘I have to search for Adam in the old mine?’

  ‘Have courage,’ Maia tells me as the golden vision of Adam starts to fade and the doves take flight. ‘Be prepared for anything.’

  I shake with terror at the prospect of entering the mine. ‘Can’t you come with me?’ I beg.

  We are always at your side. We are bound together by love.’

  I know it in my heart but the fearful part of me casts a cold, deep shadow of doubt.

  ‘Go,’ Maia urges.

  ‘And after I find Adam in the mine and take him back to Natalia, what then? How do I overcome my enemy?’

  ‘Keep your heart open; be prepared,’ she insists. She points to Adam’s fading light. ‘You must hurry,’ she reminds me.

  The white world still sparkles but a sinking sun casts long shadows. The doves have disappeared.

  ‘Hurry!’ Maia urges.

  I close my eyes and open them on the real world.

  Jack stumbled back towards me. He emerged from the redwoods, his lips stretched in what looked at first like a smile but which was really a sign of torment – gritted teeth, mouth sucking in air, black hair coated with snow. ‘I can’t find him!’ he cried.

  I ran to meet him. ‘Come with me. We have to look inside the old mine.’ Setting off without waiting to see if Jack would follow, I struggled through snowdrifts until I reached the chairlift terminal and only then paused for breath. Then I turned and saw that he’d staggered after me.

  Reaching one of the steel stilts that supported the weight of the platform above our heads, he leaned against it and tried to heave more air into his lungs.

  ‘Are you OK? Can you keep going?’ I asked.

  Swearing and pushing me aside, he forced his legs to carry him higher up the mountain towards the entrance to the old silver mine. Now it was me struggling to keep up, feeling the burn of my thigh and calf muscles and the cold ache in my lungs. I’d fallen twenty or maybe thirty paces behind Jack when I saw him crouch and enter the dark tunnel then disappear from sight.

  ‘Wait!’ I yelled. Though my good angels had led me here, I was still scared that the roof would cave in if anyone disturbed the decades of neglect.

  Jack took no notice. I reached the entrance and came up against a fug of stale air that carried the stench of the animals that had holed up here over many winters – mainly wolves and bears. Brushwood was scattered over the rough floor, mixed with dried animal droppings and lengths of old, rotten timber. I almost tripped over a coil of frayed rope, and then a large roll of rusty razor wire that had trapped an unwary wolf and held him fast until he starved to death and the flesh had rotted from his bones. I made out his ribcage, scattered vertebrae and yellow skull in the gloomy shadows, the long jaw, the curved canine teeth.

  ‘Adam!’ Jack was ahead of me, yelling his son’s name. His voice reached me, muffled and desperate. Seconds later he’d turned around and was stumbling back in my direction.

  I put my arm out to stop him in his tracks. ‘Watch out for the razor wire.’

  ‘Adam’s not here,’ he cried. ‘The tunnel’s blocked. You were wrong – he didn’t come this way.’

  ‘Wait here. Let me take a look.’ I left him and ventured deeper into the mine, feeling my way. Twice I stumbled over loose boulders, knocking my shins. Once I banged my head against a sharp rock. ‘Adam?’ I called over and over, each time hoping for a faint reply. Then I came to the rockfall that Jack had described. I had to stop then and seriously consider my vision.

  ‘Maybe I just wanted it to be true,’ I muttered. Perhaps I longed for them to appear and tell me where to search, but it was only my mind playing a trick on
me. The thought left me feeling confused and lost, opening the door to more dark doubts lurking in the underground gloom.

  Then I heard Jack stumble towards me, felt him grab my arm and drag me towards the entrance. ‘I shouldn’t have listened to you.’

  I resisted. ‘No, I do believe Adam headed this way. Maybe he found shelter here for a while and then moved off again.’

  ‘So where is he now?’ Jack stumbled against a boulder then caught his foot in the roll of razor wire. He stooped to tug at the wire with a gloved hand, swearing as one of the spikes pierced the glove before he managed to uncoil the wire across the shaft floor and step free, leaving me trapped behind it.

  As he swore again and ran off, I felt my stomach twist and churn.

  This is hell. Hell is total darkness – solid rock above my head and below my feet, in front and behind. There is no room to move.

  I cry out but no one hears. There is no air left to breathe.

  And this is how it will be if I let my dark angel defeat me. Trapped without oxygen, I will die in the dark and no one will ever find me. I will lie in this dark mine like the wolf caught in the wire.

  I gasped and blundered on, trampling the wire and stamping on the wolf’s skull as I went. I followed Jack out of the mine into the blizzard on the mountain.

  The snow and the light blinded me. I blinked, then shielded my eyes from the flurry of white flakes, able to make out Jack about twenty metres ahead of me, running and falling, picking himself up, staggering on towards a small bunch of people – two adults and a child – huddled under the flimsy canvas awning erected by the film crew. I heard his voice croak out his son’s name – once, twice, three times – then I saw him reach the shelter and sink on to his knees, gather the child in his arms and hold him.

  ‘Tania, we’re over here!’ Grace called.