Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five

by Alexa Padgett

  “Holy shit,” I breathed out, barely able to process her words. “That’s low.”

  She glanced up at me from under her lashes and bangs. My blood pumped harder. I liked that look. She needed to look at me like that again. Preferably when we were near a bed, alone.

  “It’s worse than that. He’d proposed a couple days before. I was considering his question. Until I realized how ruthless he was to reach his goal.” She shook her head. “He didn’t ask me about something as important as a having child.”

  Anger slammed into my gut, low and vicious. “I stick to my original observation. He’s a wanker.”

  The bloom of embarrassment faded from her cheeks as she pressed her fingers to her lips. “I can’t believe I told you that.” She dropped her hand away. “Well, I can. We met at a really emotional time. Hospice is intense. I understand the hurt and confusion. Mine was a different path but we ended up in the same place.”

  “Because of the arse you dated?”

  She chuckled as she pulled sunglasses from her bag and went to settle them onto her nose. A few hairs caught in the edge piece and she paused to work them free. “I didn’t just date him, I lived with him,” she said, her voice soft, a hint of disbelief at her own admission. She cleared her throat. “No. I mentioned my dad died when I was ten. That my mom was long gone—with three new children she actually wanted.”

  She kept her gaze on the fountain, her breathing slow, like she was trying to be nonchalant. She failed.

  “My mom didn’t come get us for nearly a month after my dad’s funeral. Lia—that’s my older sister I mentioned before—had to play parent to me the whole time. I wasn’t very helpful. And then, I went numb.” Her gaze dropped to her lap, her sunnies sliding down her nose. “Some days I still think I am. It’s easier than caring.”

  “I get that. That’s the shit of it—sometimes you can’t not care.” I blew out a careful breath. “Like when people are dying.”

  “Like then.” Briar agreed. “Which is why I wanted to bring you out to lunch. Being there with a person who’s working so hard to die, that’s a gift. Not only for them but for you, too.”

  We remained quiet, needing time to soothe the rawness of our confessions. I needed Briar right now. Unfortunately, I wanted more than just her sympathy. I wanted her body and the hours of mindless pleasure we’d glean from each other. In some ways, that would make the trip here more worthwhile than telling my mother, a stranger, goodbye.

  “So now you have dirt on me, too,” she said. “Secrets that would hurt me if they became general knowledge.”

  “I would have been your friend without the hoops, Briar.” Surprise rippled through me at just how much I meant those words.

  “But now when I promise I won’t say anything to those ‘bloodsuckers’ about your relationship with your mom, you know I’m serious. I gave you the leverage to hurt me back.”

  Did she really think so little of me? I suppose I brought that on myself. My comments before weren’t nice. “I have a certain core decency, and I refuse to be considered that much of an arse.” I winced at how formal and clipped my words were. Like a runaway train, I’d lost control of my mouth. Fucking fabulous.

  “You aren’t an ass at all.” She patted my shoulder as she rose from the bench. She arched her back, stretching her arms above her head. The sun caught the strip of exposed skin at her lower back, bathing it in a pinkish glaze. I shifted in my seat, shocked by how much that thin strip of exposed skin turned me on.

  “Let’s get you back to your car.”

  She didn’t say to visit my mum. Just as well. I wasn’t sure I could go back in today.

  8

  Briar

  We drove in silence back to the hospice center, me hyperaware of Hayden. I tried to ignore my growing attraction. I wanted to be angry with him—he’d been a dick to me. I frowned. Problem was, his response came from confusion and hurt.

  I wasn’t a doormat and had no intention of starting to be one now. Except . . . his soul-deep sadness called to me. I recognized the emotion, lived it in my own life.

  Didn’t hurt that his tall gorgeousness was enhanced by his sun-streaked caramel locks and those brown eyes. When the faint afternoon sun cleared a cloud, the light highlighted the golden stubble glinting from his cheeks and chin. He appeared so self-assured, strong, until I met his eyes. Then, he reminded me of my niece, Abbi, right after her father was diagnosed with Huntington’s. Hayden struggled to understand the unfairness of life, and he wanted to break out of the anxiety that was his new constant.

  I still couldn’t believe I’d told him about Ken. I wasn’t the emotional-sharing type, but sitting in the warm pool of Seattle summer sun loosened my tongue. And eased some of the hurt I’d bottled up inside.

  “Thank you for lunch,” I said as I parked the car and turned off the engine.

  “Now I can claim to have eaten from the best food truck in America.”

  “Saw one of the signs, huh? Consider yourself properly indoctrinated to the food truck craze. It’s big here in the Northwest.”

  “You were right; we have ’em in Sydney. Different, obviously, than here.” He turned his head to face the window. “Depressing place, this building.”

  “Death isn’t happy,” I sighed. “Not for those left behind, anyway. But sometimes it’s a relief for the person leaving.”

  I kept my eyes on the entrance. He ran his fingers through his hair again, making the caramel waves stick out in thick cowlicks. He exited the car, walked around and opened my door.

  He looked at the building with abhorrence. “I’ll go in and see my mum.”

  I gripped his forearm, trying to ignore how good his skin felt under my palm. “You don’t have to.”

  “Yeah, I kinda do. That’s why I’m here. To hear her deathbed confessions and forgive her transgressions or some other utter tripe.”

  As he opened the second set of doors, his hand rode the small of my back. I fought down the urge to shiver. Much as I tried to deny it, I’d always been a sucker for the emo loner. Way more than the buttoned-up suits. Those guys—men like Ken—were supposed to be safe. Unwilling to push too far into feelings and my untapped desires. But even power suits and cuff links didn’t stop my secret yearning for a man who needed love the way I did.

  In high school, I’d mooned for hours in my bedroom over the brooding artist and tatted photographer. I’d even dated a documentarian during my sophomore year at U-Dub. He’d been too stuffy for me, using words like lexicon and patristic. No one talked that way at nineteen. Even then, he wasn’t exactly what I craved, which was why I’d spent my entire sophomore year with him—either bored out of my mind or annoyed he didn’t seem into our relationship.

  Hayden maneuvered down the hall toward Rosie’s room. “So I’ll see you later?” he asked outside her door.

  “You’re staying?” I asked, surprised.

  He puckered his mouth like he’d just smelled the worst scent. “Didn’t you say that was the best gift I could give both her and myself?”

  I rocked back on my heels, surprised those were the words he’d latched on to. “I’m sure your schedule’s tight,” I hedged.

  “So it is. Give me your number and I’ll give you mine. That way you can text me when you’re on your way out. You can take me to some other place I should eat tonight on my whirlwind tour of Seattle.”

  After exchanging numbers, he gave me a small smile. “See you later, Briar. Thanks for giving me something to look forward to.”

  Bemused, I shoved my phone back into my purse. “Yeah. See you.”

  Sitting in Rosie’s room, in a whisper I told her about my new, strange relationship.

  “Divine accent on that one,” Rosie said, her voice raspy from the oxygen forced into her nasal passages.

  I smiled a little as I settled into the only chair in the room. I dropped my purse at my feet and leaned forward. “I’m really sorry I didn’t come see you earlier. Or call. I was worried you’d be upset.
You know, that I broke up with Ken.” I grabbed her hand, fighting the building emotions.

  “Stop.” She squeezed my fingers to gentle the rebuke. “You’ve already said that. Lots of times. You’re here now.”

  “If I’d known the cancer was back—”

  “None of that, honey. You needed some time, and I didn’t call you. I knew you’d be here in a flash if I did, and I wanted you to see you’d made the right decision. Ken’s sure he knows how to run everyone’s life better than they do. My sister’s just like him. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. I know firsthand how terrible a trait that is in a person.”

  I mashed my lips together, gathering my emotions. “Of course I would’ve come. I love you, Rosie.” And I did. Deeply. A rarity I’d saved for just Lia and Abbi—until I met this incredible woman.

  She smiled and nodded a little. “And I love you, honey. You’re the daughter I never had. And thank God you’re not actually becoming a niece by marriage.”

  I shook my head. “I want us to be family,” I said. So much so, I’d almost married Ken.

  “We are. The best kind of all. The kind we chose for ourselves.”

  I opened my mouth, needing to say something, but Rosie released my hand.

  “Have you thought any more about what you’re going to do next?”

  “I actually told Hayden journalism isn’t my thing. That’s been hard to accept. Especially because Ken always said so.”

  Rosie wrinkled her nose. “I almost agree with you just to oppose Ken. But in this case, he was right. Just don’t tell him I said so. His ego doesn’t need any stroking.”

  I couldn’t help but giggle at her. Ken was her blood relative, but that didn’t mean she didn’t see his faults. She’d finally pried the story of our sordid breakup out of me, unsurprised by Ken’s actions.

  “Appalling,” she’d murmured. She cocked her head, appraising me. “He had the sense to see how great you were. Maybe there’s hope for him yet.”

  We sat for a few minutes while I held her hand and tried to figure out how I’d gotten to my thirties without any real direction.

  “You’re good at what you do,” Rosie said. “But you never loved it.”

  “I love being here with you. Helping people.” I sucked on my lower lip. “I’d thought to be a doctor. I was in the premed department when we found out my brother-in-law was dying.”

  “Lord,” Rosie laughed, though it quickly turned into a dry, painful cough. “You’d make the worst doctor. You’re too nice. I mean, look at Ken. He’s top of his profession because he doesn’t care.”

  “Not really helping.” I sighed.

  “Well, what do you like to do?”

  “Besides chat with you?” I smiled. “I told you, I like having a purpose. Knowing I’m doing something worthwhile.”

  “That wouldn’t be sitting with me, dear.” Rosie’s eyes sparkled and her lips curved upward just a bit. The hint of a smile. I’d done that—helped her feel better. If only for a moment.

  “I disagree,” I said, softly. “I think this—helping individuals die,” my voice broke, but I held back the sob. Rosie deserved my strength as she lost her own. “Helping their loved ones get through it, this might be exactly what I’m supposed to do.”

  Rosie considered me for a long moment. “You mentioned this last year when you were covering a story about the new cancer center. I liked the idea then.”

  I nodded, lowering my eyes. She didn’t need to see the hurt in them. She wasn’t choosing to die. “I want to do something real. Something that actually makes a difference. For all that Ken’s emotionally stilted, he’s doing that. He’s helping people.”

  “If you want to, you will. Ken’s a good man, just not the right one for you. He’d try to ramrod you into doing things his way and that’ll do nothing but make you both miserable. He needs a society wife—a woman like his mother. Now”—she smoothed her hands over her blankets, dismissing Ken and the rest of her family from our conversation—“tell me about Princess. I miss that ragamuffin.”

  Not wanting to tell her how thin the cat was, I launched into the story about visiting Princess last night. I’d never owned a pet, and after Princess, I probably never would. To say it went poorly was an understatement.

  “Then she darted into the living room and used her claws to mutilate one of the sofa cushions. She’d obviously been shredding it for days.”

  “What? Did she have anything to eat?”

  “A bowl full of food.” I paused. Rosie waited, too still. Best to simply tell Rosie all of it. “Your neighbor came by last night after work. She couldn’t get Princess to eat and she’d tried all kinds of different foods.”

  “I left her enough money to make sure Princess was taken care of.” Rosie’s voice rose in agitation.

  “It’s fine—everything’s fine. I’d bought some salmon at the market. Once I gave some to Princess she even purred a little. She sounds like a big dually truck when she gets going.”

  Rosie chuckled a little, the sound weak but happy. “She likes you. Always has. I’m glad you’re watching her now.”

  “I’ll make sure she eats.” I didn’t tell her I’d shut the bedroom door, terrified the cat would maul me in the night. Some things just didn’t need to be shared.

  “Good,” Rosie sighed. “I’m glad I talked you into staying at my condo.”

  She slid back into sleep, holding my hand. With slow precision, I extricated myself and stood. I bent to gather my purse.

  “Hello, Briar.”

  I stiffened my back but turned to face him. “Ken.”

  “I called earlier. The doctor said you’ve practically been living here.” He cocked his head, eying me in that way most people look at a puzzle they can’t figure out. “She’s my aunt.”

  “She’s like a mother to me,” I said.

  “So you’re just trying to worm your way into her fortune? My money wasn’t enough for you. You want Rosie’s instead.”

  My jaw snapped closed with a firm click. “I don’t want you because you tried to manipulate me. I’m here for Rosie because she’s my friend. A dear one.”

  “I’m calling bullshit, Briar. You left us both without explanation.”

  “Because you tried to force me into pregnancy,” I snarled.

  “Now you’re all cozied up with my aunt in her last dying days. Any will she writes now, my father and I will contest. She’s on heavy medication. Definitely not in her right mind.”

  I stepped closer to Ken and grabbed his tie so that we were nose to nose. “I. Don’t. Want. Her. Money.” Each word pushed through my teeth like a dart.

  He yanked back. “See that it stays that way.”

  “I’m going to be here this week. All week,” I said, staking my claim. “We both know you only stopped by out of obligation.”

  “Of course it’s obligation. She’s my family.”

  I narrowed my eyes, but before I could say anything further, Rosie’s voice, filled with amusement, drifted over from the bed. “Ken, still being your charming self, I see.”

  He glared at me before ducking around to press a kiss to Rosie’s cheek. “How are you feeling?”

  She leveled him with a look that had him squirming in those perfectly pressed Brooks Brothers trousers. “If you really wanted to know, you would have come by sooner than this.”

  “Of course I want to know. I plan to talk to Dr. Chin every day.”

  “Kenneth,” Rosie sighed. “You aren’t going to win Briar back. I’m not planning to change my will. It’s been set for weeks. While I appreciate the visit, we both know you came to antagonize Briar for not being more interested in a life with you. Which, as I told her, would only end in bitterness and probably divorce. Do us all a favor and look for a beautiful but vapid young woman who only wants to be your arm candy. Everyone will be happier.”

  I stepped out into the hall, unwilling to listen to anything else. Before I pushed through the double doors, Ken stormed past. “I don’
t know how you’ve wrapped my aunt so tight around your finger, but you better believe what I told you.” He stabbed his finger into my shoulder. “You’re not getting any of my aunt’s fortune. And my parents have already blackballed you from all the lists.”

  “I don’t care about your stupid high society. Never did.” I blinked, shocked to realize that was true. Maybe I’d liked the trappings of wealth, but I’d never felt comfortable with those people, who catalogued my dress and my verbiage, waiting for me to show how out of place I truly was. I took a deep breath, feeling freer than I had in years. “All I wanted from you was an apology.”

  He smoothed his tie and did up his suit buttons. “You’re not getting one. You’re a cold, heartless bitch, Briar, and I will expose you as such.”

  9

  Hayden

  A nurse was in the room with my mum, looking grim. Middle-aged with graying light brown hair and sensible shoes. Her scrubs were a size too small but still managed to work on her.

  “Bad as all that?”

  “And you are?” the woman barked.

  Crikey. Friendly sort.

  “My son.” My mum’s voice was thready but stronger than it’d been earlier. “Hayden.”

  The nurse’s dire look softened. “Glad you’re here. I’m Kelly, Miriam’s day nurse.”

  “You’re the one who called,” I said.

  She nodded. “Your mom asked. Cost an arm and both legs by the time I got through, but I wanted to see Miriam happy.” Kelly patted my mum’s leg gently. “That working better for the pain, Mir?”

  “Sure,” Mum said, but both Kelly and I frowned. “Leave it, Kelly. I’m fine.”

  “You’re not.” Kelly turned toward me. “This is stage four. Her doctor is shocked she’s lasted so long. I would be, too, but this woman is stubborn. She’s waited for you to show up. Except she wouldn’t call you.”

  Emotions roared up through me, but the one I latched on to was confusion. “But you called me. I’ll reimburse you for the calls, of course.”