Dr. Trenton smiled. “Good. I don’t mean to worry you. But I do want you prepared for anything.”
“Got it.”
“See you on Friday, Evie.”
Unsettled and not prepared to deal with customers at the coffee shop, I considered going back to the lab, settling into my work area. But I’d end up there all night if I did, and I’d promised Henry I’d come in at five so that he could take a cute, bubbly blonde sophomore on a date.
Taking a deep breath, I screwed up my courage and went back to the hospital to visit Paige, hoping to fix the problems between us. Her face lit up when she saw me and she darted around the chairs to throw herself into my arms.
“Evie!”
I hugged her hard. “Hi, there, cutie. How are you?”
“I missed you,” she said into my neck. “I’m sorry I yelled. Miss Sue and Kai both said you wanted me.”
I brushed her hair back off her forehead. “Oh, honey, I do. But Miss Sue knows what’s best.”
Paige’s lip trembled, but she nodded. “That’s what Kai said, too. I gots to live with Lydia and George, but they want me to call them Mommy and Daddy, and I don’t wants to.”
I hugged Paige to my chest again, my heart aching for this little girl. “I know it’s all so confusing now. But it’ll get better. You’ll see.”
“I wanted to calls you all week, but Chelle said I gots to wait for you to come back.”
“And I’ll be around. Just a phone call away.” I pulled a pen and notepad from my purse. After writing my name and phone number on the paper I ripped it out of the book and handed it to Paige. “You keep this and call me whenever you want. I promise to answer.”
She pulled back and cupped my cheeks in her small, warm hands. “You promise you’ll visit me?”
I nodded, keeping my expression solemn.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Then I’ll be okay.”
“Want to show me what you were doing?”
She grabbed my hand and pulled me across the room, chattering on about her picture and the new kid who was exactly one year older who had been moved into the room next to hers. We laughed and colored for the next couple of hours before I had to leave.
I hugged Paige and kissed her forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
Paige hugged me back, hard, before handing me the picture she’d been working on all this time. “I want you to have it,” she said. Her voice and posture were shy. I looked at the image, trying to understand why. I pressed my palm to my mouth.
“Is this . . . is this you and Kai and me?” I asked, my voice cracking.
Paige nodded. “Miss Sue said my new family was my forever family. This is the forever family I wants.”
I pulled Paige back into my arms and rocked her, saying, “Oh, honey,” over and over again.
“What’s wrong?”
My shoulders tensed. Kai. I’d assumed he’d show up after his last class—how pathetic was it that I’d memorized his schedule?—and hoped to be gone by now. I hadn’t seen him in days. I could have gone months more in an attempt to keep my heart from breaking further.
Paige pulled from my arms and darted into Kai’s, but his eyes remained on me the entire time. Concern and something deeper burned in those brown-blue depths. I wanted to believe it was desire, but I knew better.
“I was just telling Paige how much I liked her picture,” I said, standing slowly. While I had full range of motion back, my ribs still didn’t like sudden movements.
“But she’s okay?”
He looked down at the child he cradled in his arms. My heart pinched with regret.
“You’re okay?”
“You and Evie are here. I’m great.” Paige beamed her megawatt smile.
“I have to go to work,” I said. “But I’ll be back bright and early tomorrow to visit before you get all checked out.”
Paige’s smile dimmed but Kai chose that moment to tickle her tummy. She squealed with laughter, and I headed out of the room.
“Evie! Wait up,” Kai called after me.
I paused, annoyed that he still had the ability to make my heart race. “I’m going to be late.”
Kai ran his hand through his hair, looking pained. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“Not calling. Not stopping by.”
I pulled a small box out of my pocket—I’d been too paranoid to leave it in my apartment or my purse—and thrust it at him. “Your ring,” I said. I spun on my heel and strode toward the elevator again. Kai kept pace.
“I’ve missed you.” His voice was quiet but confusion laced through the words. “And I can’t sleep again.”
I stopped walking and faced him. “That was your choice.”
He blew out a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. The actions made him seem younger. My chest still ached from the emotional blow he’d dealt me, and I needed to understand that he wasn’t ready to handle a relationship. Not like the kind I craved. “I’m late. Goodbye, Kai.”
“Evie?”
Raising my brows in question, I waited.
“Can I come over tonight?”
Shit. Really? I bit the inside of my lip again. I broke the skin this time and the metallic tang of blood slid over my tongue, causing my stomach to curdle. He’d hurt me. If I let him stay, let him sing to me, snuggle with me, he’d hurt me more. Ergo, no more Kai. Simple. Clean. Logical.
His shoulders were slumped and his hands were shoved in his pockets. His eyes pleaded with me to say yes.
“You’re too busy, and I have my defense on Friday. Our schedules don’t mesh well . . .” My voice was soft, filled with regret. But breaking this off cleanly now was the smartest option. “There’s really no reason for us to see each other again.”
He dipped his head in acknowledgment, and his lips flattened at my rejection. As much as I wanted to take the words back, I didn’t. I spun to face the elevator, relief flooding my system when it dinged. I scampered into the car and managed not to look back.
Stepping into the room for my defense proved harder than I’d expected. The last six years of grad school, research, data analysis, and my future hinged on this moment. Pushing open the door caused my heart to thunder in my ears.
I was the first person here, which soothed my nerves. Beelining to the middle of the table, I opened my large tote and removed my dissertation, my enlarged graphs, and my folders full of notes.
By the time Dr. Trenton led my committee into the room, I was prepared. After shaking everyone’s hands, Dr. Trenton nodded to me. “We’ll just pull out our copies and move this along.”
I smiled, excited to delve into my research. I loved discussing how neuropathways were impacted, both positively and negatively, by various medications.
“Thank you all for coming. I appreciate your time. So, let’s begin with the chart on page five. This shows how brain function is impacted by the use of precision treatments most commonly used to fight cancer. Because these medications are newer and typically are part of clinical trials, we’re still gathering data of their efficacy.”
Making sure I still held everyone’s attention, I dove into the psychological aspects of long-term medication treatments and the known neurological impact of chemotherapy.
Dr. Neince frowned at the last graph. My palms began to sweat and my voice grew hoarse.
“I appreciate the randomized trials and a multivariate analysis of concurrent controls, but why don’t you have a larger group of healthy subjects?” Dr. Neince asked. She flipped back a page, rechecking the previous graph. “I only see sixty-four, whereas your long-term and terminally ill subjects both have a control group of one hundred twenty.”
“Because this was a fixed control, Dr. Trenton and I agreed that the sixty-four healthy subjects showed non-bias.”
“Evie asked, and I approved this,” Dr. Trenton confirmed.
But Dr. Neince was already shaking her head. My heart sank as her shrewd brown eyes flicked from Dr. Trenton’s to mine.
“She needs an equal control. I want to see the data graphed for another fifty-eight subjects.”
“Do you really think that’s necessary?” Dr. Wong asked. He was one of the committee members from University of Oregon and a well-respected psychological counselor. “Evie’s control group is large enough for us to see the impact positive focus has on outcomes. I don’t see the need to push for another few weeks of interviews and testing.”
Dr. Neince narrowed her eyes. “I’m not signing off on this until I see a more representative sample.” She pushed back her chair and dipped her head at Dr. Trenton then me.
Before I could further argue my case, she was gone.
Dr. Trenton laid his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve don’t great work here, Evie. This is one of the most thorough dissertations I’ve seen in years.”
“But I can’t send it up for final publication until Dr. Neince signs off,” I whispered.
Dr. Trenton squeezed my shoulder.
“I have a group of subjects over the age of sixty coming into my lab in Portland tomorrow. There are thirty-seven attendees. That will get you much closer to the fifty-eight,” Dr. Wong said, his voice wavering between sympathetic and frustrated.
I smiled, grateful for such a large group. “I’ll have to get time off from the coffee shop where I work, but I’ll be there.”
“Don’t worry, Evie. Dr. Neince’s request is inconvenient, but as long as you can run the tests on those subjects, you should be able to correct the graph in time for commencement.”
In two months. I had two months to collect the data and analyze it. Once I corrected the graph, I still needed each of my committee members to sign off on the copy.
My smile was weak because we all knew my chances of graduating in June just sank to worse than poor.
12
Kai
“Hey, squirt,” I said, sliding down onto the park bench next to Paige. I’d missed seeing her—and Evie—these past two weeks. More than I’d expected. “How have you been?”
Sure, our gigs Friday and Saturday were fun, but the whole time, I’d wished Evie were there, sitting with Abbi and Nessa, cheering and smiling. Nessa said Evie’d been down to Portland collecting data because “some witch professor’s making Evie jump through hoops before she’ll sign off on her dissertation. I mean, who does shit like that?”
Apparently PhD.’s. I thought about calling Evie more times than I could count, but I always refrained. As she’d said, we were better off breaking ties now. Not calling Evie to find out about her defense killed me, but she’d made her choice, and I needed to respect that. Only, after Abbi told me how devastated Evie’d been by one of her professor’s request for additional information, I’d had to work even harder to keep from driving to the coffee shop and taking Evie into my arms.
Great time to realize how important Evie had become to me.
Lydia sat next to Paige, holding her hand. Paige shrugged and I frowned. Paige might be frustrated with her situation, but Evie had stayed close to the little girl’s side in an effort to help her work through her anxiety of moving in with a new family.
“Answer him, Paige,” Lydia instructed.
My shoulders tensed. I didn’t like that tone, which held the same warning in it my mother used to use when she was completely fed up with my antics.
“Hiya, Paige,” Evie chirped.
My breath caught as she bent down to hug the little girl. Evie’s hair was braided to the side and hung in a long, thick rope over one shoulder. Her capris were white—crisp and clean and clung to her hips like a lover’s hands. Just where I wanted my hands, actually. The more time I spent away from Evie, the more I missed her, wanted her. Not just because of her latent sexuality that she kept buried under all that cool logic, but because of her caring nature and zest for life.
I’d never met anyone who enjoyed being outside as much as Evie did.
“Did you see the daisies back there? Their faces are turned toward the sun. If we can watch them for a while, I bet we can see them shift.”
“Nope. I been sitting here waiting for Kai.”
“Oh,” Evie frowned. “Well, we’ll have to check them out. I saw a ladybug. Want me to catch it for you? We can count its spots.”
Evie liked to talk to Paige about all the flowers and bugs in the small grassy area in the center of the hospital. During those last few days—after Evie quit talking to me—I’d shown up early enough to observe them on a couple of short walks. Evie was just as excited by each new bug or leaf find as Paige was. Maybe more so.
Evie’s joie de vivre extended to food and touch as well. While she didn’t ask to be touched often, she loved a good neck rub, and she’d make these sexy, breathy little sounds deep in her throat that made me so hard I’d had to jerk off in Evie’s bathroom before I could relax enough to sleep.
I missed sleeping with her. Her soft breath, the heat from her body. Her soft breasts pressed into my side.
“Don’t wanna,” Paige said, her voice quiet.
I didn’t like Paige so subdued. Like her vibrancy had been muffled.
“That’s not how you address an adult,” Lydia instructed.
She scooted closer to Paige and spoke in a panicked whisper in Paige’s ear. I didn’t hear all the words, but I got the gist. And it was threatening. Lydia still gripped Paige’s hand. Her too white hand. I looked up into Paige’s dulling eyes that pleaded with me.
“Can you give us a minute?” I tried to keep my voice neutral.
“That’s not how this works, Kai,” Lydia said. “I don’t know if I can trust you around Paige. I have got to be sure to meet all the requirements for an adoptive parent and leaving a five-year-old girl alone with a grown man she hardly knows reeks of poor judgment.”
Lydia’s smile was as fake as her bottle-black hair. This woman did not have Paige’s best interests at heart. Why the hell did they want to adopt her?
“Then it’s a good thing I’m here,” Evie said, her shadow falling over Lydia as she stood. “As a registered foster parent, I’m more than enough of a chaperone for Paige and our friend Kai.” Evie’s eyes flashed green, laserlike in their intensity. “And Paige is four, not five. Her birthday’s in two weeks. Right, sweetie?”
Sue stood off to the side, her fingers tight on her clipboard. I hadn’t expected to see her—Evie must have contacted her. Lydia opened her mouth, spotted Sue’s bright wave from a few feet behind Paige and snapped it shut. She stood. Paige snuffled but didn’t say anything. Evie inserted herself between Lydia and Paige in a neat move that had Lydia huffing in anger.
Paige collapsed into Evie’s arms. “Don’t make me go back there. You gots to help me, Evie. I don’t wants to go back there.”
Paige calling Evie explained why she was here—this was supposed to be my hour with her at the park. We weren’t even Paige’s parents, but Evie and I had already turned into the divorced couple who took time with the child, separately.
I’d really screwed up my life. Especially when it came to Evie. Fixing this wasn’t going to be easy. Not after I’d seen all those emotions flashing through her eyes at the hospital when I asked to stay with her again. She didn’t want to want me, and, knowing Evie, she was doing her best to make it so.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Evie cupped Paige’s cheeks so she could look into the little girl’s tear-filled eyes.
I kept an eye on Lydia, who hadn’t backed up very far.
“Did she hurt your hand?”
Paige nodded. “She squeezes it too tight. And she pinches me.”
“Where?” I asked, my voice no longer neutral. I motioned Sue forward. She needed to hear this.
“My arms and back. Sometimes my legs.”
Evie picked up Paige’s arm, tracing a fading bruise on her forearm. “Turn around,” she said and Paige did. Evie lifted her shirt. Sue peered at Paige’s back over Evie’s shoulder, her mouth puckering as Evie sucked in a breath. Sue and Evie exchanged a long look before Evie smoothed the cotton
down over Paige’s back, pulling the girl back in for another hug.
“Does she hit you?”
“No, I don’t,” Lydia gasped. She’d moved closer, once again invading our space and glaring at Paige. “I’m not an abuser.”
“Her back and arms say otherwise,” Evie said. She tightened her arms around Paige, shielding the child who clung to her.
“That’s just to get her to do what I say,” Lydia sniffed.
I stood, moving between Evie and Paige and Lydia. “You need to go. Now.”
“Now, wait just a minute. I’ve put in papers to adopt that girl. She’s mine.”
“No. She’s her own person, and she doesn’t want to be with you,” Evie said. Her voice was hard, but she laid her cheek on Paige’s bright blond head. “Which means I’m going to challenge your right to adopt her.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, hands balled into fists, and glared at the dark-haired woman. “I’ll have my lawyer contact yours and Paige’s court-appointment counsel as well as Sue, especially now that there are allegations of abuse.”
Lydia gaped. “I can’t afford a lawyer. George and me are barely making ends meet.”
“Yet another reason adoption might not be the best choice right now,” Sue said smoothly, shooting me a warning look. I shuffled back, though my fists stayed balled at my sides. Lydia bugged the shit out of me.
Evie spoke to Paige in a low, soothing tone, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. Sue led Lydia toward her old Honda, the younger woman clearly unhappy.
Paige’s small face brightened with hope. “You can take me home?”
Evie pushed the girl’s hair out of her face. “I don’t know,” Evie said, her troubled green eyes lifting to mine. “But I’ll do what I can to make that happen. Just like I always wanted to.”
“She’s not going back to that house,” I snapped.
Evie straightened her back, her glare the first real emotion she’d given me since the brush-off last week. “I’m with you on that, Kai. No need to snap at me.”
Sue walked back toward us, her mouth tugging down with grimness. “We have a problem that needs to get sorted ASAP.” She looked down at Paige, her eyes softening. “Want to swing for a few minutes, honey?”
Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five Page 109
