Seattle Sound Series, The Collection: Books One to Five

by Alexa Padgett

  He cupped my cheek and tilted my head up so I met his eyes. “You call me. If anything goes wrong. If you want me to talk to her. Whatever. You call me.”

  I stared into his eyes, my burgeoning anxiety melting away. “Okay.”

  He leaned down and kissed me. I, of course, opened my mouth so he could take the kiss deeper. By the time we pulled apart, we were both panting and my cheeks were hotter than a Fourth of July barbecue.

  “I’ll keep my phone on me. No matter what,” he said. After one more quick peck, he walked down the hall and into Paige’s room. Whatever he said to her calmed her down enough for her to stand next to me. When Clay and Dane showed up a few minutes later, Kai hugged us both one more time. Collecting his equipment and duffel, he trotted down the steps. Paige slid her hand into mine.

  “I’m going to miss him, Mommy.”

  “I know, sweet pea. I know.”

  We cuddled on the couch for the rest of the morning. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand what missing Kai meant for Paige. And while I knew Paige was still working through the loss of her parents and the transition from Lydia and George to Kai and me, I wasn’t prepared for the fall out of the next few months.

  “This is the third time you’ve been asked to leave ballet early,” I said when I finally calmed down enough to talk to Paige. My hands gripped the wheel with white-knuckled frustration. “Miss Bella said if you hit another child again, you can’t come back. Is that what you want, Paige? To have to stop going to ballet? What about the camp we signed up for—ballet and butterflies? You won’t be allowed to go if you hit others.”

  I glanced into the rearview mirror, taking in the pugnacious set of her jaw. Her long hair was pulled up in a bun and her thin arms were crossed over her black leotard. The flirty pink skirt was shredded from Paige’s rage. The incidents were getting worse. Much worse.

  In the weeks Kai had been gone, Paige had fluctuated between sullen silences, like the current one, and screaming fits of rage. Just one more week and he’d be home for a long weekend. We had to finalize the adoption on Friday afternoon and then Paige and I got two days of Kai-time. We could make it to that. I refused to think that I still had all of September and October to contend with . . . mostly by myself.

  By then, Paige would be established in her new school . . . wherever that was, and I’d have my diploma in hand. For weeks, I hadn’t been able to get into the lab to finalize my graph. If it weren’t for Marilyn bustling into the house two weeks ago, I probably still wouldn’t be finished.

  “Dr. Trenton called me. He’s worried you won’t finish your paper.” Marilyn had pressed her hands to her hips. “That’s not an option, honey bun. So get up there to that laboratory and do what you gotta do. Paige and I will have some fun here.”

  “But what about your businesses? And Paige has been so moody. It’s not fair—”

  “Evangeline Louise Mercer-Luchia, you get your butt up to that lab and do not even think about any of this here until the one last graph out of the whole ginormous ream you’re calling a dissertation is completed. I mean it.”

  With those words, she practically shoved me out the door, and the sawing sensation in my chest eased as I plopped down at my station and fired up my laptop. For the next seven hours, I’d been Evangeline Mercer, graduate student. Everything made sense. I analyzed and documented. I double-checked my work and shut down my station with a sense of satisfaction I hadn’t felt in weeks.

  Much as I loved Paige—and I did, deeply—I also loved my work. Pursuing one seemed to be at the detriment of the other. No wonder all the older PhD. candidates talked so much about work-life balance. I’d thought it was a catch phrase, something for the parents to complain about over stale coffee and vending machine snacks.

  My new reality gave me much greater appreciation for theirs.

  Which was why, two weeks after I added the graph to my dissertation, my stomach tumbled with fear and something darker when Dr. Trenton called me into his office.

  “Dr. Neince signed off on the last graph,” he said.

  My breath caught in my chest, and I gripped the edges of the wooden chair I’d settled into so gingerly moments earlier.

  I’d done it. I’d completed my dissertation, completed all the prerequisites for my PhD.

  “Congratulations, Dr. Mercer. We get to bind your baby up and send it over to our library.”

  I continued to stare at him. He smirked a little. “I know it’s a semester later than you’d hoped, but you’re finished with your education, Evangeline. You did it.”

  “I just . . . I didn’t . . . Thank you!”

  “Dr. Wong and I want to take you out to lunch. He’s here for the weekend. So grab your bag.”

  “But my daughter. I have to pick her up from my mother’s.”

  Just then my phone beeped. Don’t you worry your head one little bit about Paige and me. We’re going to the movies. Enjoy your free afternoon.

  Much as I wanted to enjoy both lunch and being addressed as Dr. Mercer, the event was lackluster because Kai wasn’t there. He was in Kansas City, too busy to answer his damn phone when I called to tell him the good news.

  Abbi and Nessa came over with champagne, but Paige had a rough afternoon once Marilyn brought her home. Paige clung to me through dinner, unwilling to let me out of her sight without loud, gusty wails. Abbi and Nessa left me the bottle, eyeing Paige with something akin to fear. My celebratory evening turned into me passing out in Paige’s bed at 8:30, too tired to drag my butt down the hall to my own bed.

  I didn’t hear from Kai the next day, either, which pissed me off. I turned off my phone that night, refusing to be available only when he took an interest to call.

  But the next day, my phone rang and I stumbled out of the shower, breathless with anticipation at hearing’ Kai’s voice.

  “Hello?”

  I grabbed a second towel and rubbed my dripping face.

  “Evangeline Mercer?”

  “Speaking,” I said, my face flushing with embarrassment.

  “This is Dr. Jane Gordon.”

  The towel slid from my fingers as I began to shake. I plastered my free arm over my chest to hold the other towel in place. The director of the lab in Washington, D.C. I hadn’t received a response from my e-mail almost six weeks ago. Because of my delayed graduation, I’d assumed they’d found another qualified candidate.

  “Y-yes. So nice to hear from you.”

  “Apologies for not getting back to you sooner. When I spoke with your advisor last month, he said you’d not be graduating in June, but your dissertation would be completed by the end of summer session. Did you make that deadline?”

  “Yes.” Barely.

  “Good, good. That’s helpful, actually. I worried I’d waited too long, but I’ve been in budget meetings.”

  That was the unfortunate side of this type of scientific research. Without grants—usually federal—the research stalled or was never completed.

  After making a noncommittal noise, I waited.

  “So are you still looking for a position?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “I spoke with Dr. Neince about you before I called,” she said.

  “Oh?” I hoped my voice was neutral. I was still frustrated the woman cost me a semester—and probably the job opportunity.

  “She speaks quite highly of you—not her normal modus operandi.”

  I settled my hip against the bathroom counter as the shock slithered through my chest. Yeah, not her normal MO at all.

  “She mentioned you adopted a little girl.”

  “We’re in process, yes. She’s five.” Probably meant I wasn’t going to get the job. I laid my forehead against my palm, wishing my life wasn’t still so complicated.

  “I have two adopted sons that we first took in via foster care. I respect the hell out of you for taking on such a big challenge, Evangeline, but I also know moving those kids who’ve survived trauma sometimes screws with the family dynamic.”

&
nbsp; What was she saying?

  “All that to say, I hadn’t contacted you again until I was certain about our funding. Now that the money’s squared away, I wanted to see if you were still interested.”

  “Yes. Very much so.”

  “Excellent! The grant doesn’t start funding until January, so we can wait for you to decide. Take your time and really consider if this move is right for you.”

  The unexpected kindness brought a lump of emotion to my throat. Besides Marilyn, I’d felt isolated and adrift these past few months. But this woman understood, not only the demands of our research but also the demands of an adopted child. “When do you need an answer?” I managed to ask.

  She sighed and I understood the frustration behind the sound. “Ideally, by November. But your expertise is specialized, and I don’t have another valid candidate until next December, a full year from now, when he graduates from George Washington. The dean of my department wants the finances situated by November 30. January 3 is a firm start date.”

  Her deadline was still more than two months away. I chewed on my thumb, going over the pros and cons of the offer and still not coming to any firm conclusions. “Thank you so much for the opportunity.”

  “You’re so welcome,” she said, a smile building in her voice. “I’ll be in touch soon, and I’m mailing you some more information about the position.” She said her goodbyes and hung up.

  The rest of the morning and most of the afternoon passed in a blur. My mind continued to spin, unsure how to make Kai, Paige, and myself all happy.

  Paige’s dance class that afternoon was uneventful, and Paige was subdued.

  “What’s going on, Paigey-girl?” I asked her.

  “I miss Daddy,” she said, her voice quiet from the backseat. So did I. Too much for being as irritated with him as I was.

  My phone lit up. Kai. Thank God.

  “Hey,” I said once I clicked on the Bluetooth.

  “Hey back at you, wife.”

  I smiled. My new social security card had come in the mail last week and I’d stood, staring at the tiny letters pronouncing me Evangeline Louise Mercer-Luchia for a good ten minutes. I wished I was brave enough to tell Kai I loved him, but I’d never said it.

  “We’re just coming back from ballet,” I said.

  “That time of day already?” Kai asked.

  I glanced into the rearview mirror. Paige’s eyes were bright.

  “Paige wants to say hi.”

  “Hi, Daddy,” she responded, sounding bubblier than normal. That girl loved Kai with all her being and then some.

  “Hey, squirt. Can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to.”

  “Mommy has news! She finished her sisser-tation.”

  “You did? Wow. That’s great.”

  “Marilyn watched Paige for a couple of days so I could knock out the graph.” More like all night, but I didn’t think Kai was interested in that.

  “Cool. That’s fantastic news.”

  His lukewarm response to the difficulties surrounding my efforts frustrated me, but I managed to ignore my rising temper. Kai wasn’t a grad student. He hadn’t dealt with committees and professor egos. At least, not to the same extent.

  “So there’s one other thing I need to talk to you about,” I said. “I have an offer from a research lab in D.C. at—”

  Someone spoke to Kai. A man. I bit my lip. Who was with him? Someone else spoke—a woman. Why was she with him?

  “Can we talk about your thing later? I gotta go, Evie. We’re doing a photo shoot.” He was? Abbi and Nessa told me the guys were in greater demand with each passing week—something I’d noticed with the increased media coverage. Not that Kai had told me. But, then, we hadn’t talked in the last few days because our schedules hadn’t meshed. I was in bed by 9:00 p.m., completely drained by the emotional roller coaster that was my daughter.

  “Okay,” I said, my energy level waning.

  “I’ll talk to Paige later tonight.” In the background I heard the voice of another man again, and Kai sighed. “If I have time. Our show starts at nine but we have to be at the venue at five for sound check. Paige, I love you. And I expect you to behave.”

  Paige didn’t answer but she did slide down in her car seat and crossed her arms over her chest. “She heard you,” I said.

  “Miss you,” Kai said before he clicked off.

  “Miss you, too.” You have no idea how much.

  My throat clenched tight. This wasn’t what I’d expected when Kai asked me to marry him. As stupid as it was, I’d thought . . . I’d thought he’d actually be there for me. Or maybe it was that I hated to call him with problems. Raising a child, especially by myself, proved much harder than I’d expected. I pulled the car into the garage and turned off the engine.

  “How come Daddy doesn’t tell you he loves you?”

  “That’s between Daddy and me.”

  “Don’t be sad, Mommy.”

  Paige unbuckled her seat and a moment later, her little hand pressed against my shoulder. I knuckled off a tear, refusing to let another fall. Instead, I cupped her cheek, pressing our faces together. “Let’s get some dinner.”

  If only I had the energy to cook. But I didn’t because I knew, deep down, Kai wasn’t going to call back tonight. And Paige was going to fly into another rage when he didn’t.

  The rest of the week passed and Paige and I fell into a routine we both enjoyed. Since that day on the phone, I hadn’t had a chance to bring up my potential job, and the deadline clock ran shorter with each passing hour.

  I wanted the position. More, I wanted Kai to want me to have it. But he’d been preoccupied with his soaring fame, barely able to break away long enough to call.

  All that changed today. Today, for the first time in weeks, Kai was coming home.

  Paige woke at five in the morning, practically vibrating with excitement.

  “I gets to see Daddy! He’s been gone . . . How many days?” she asked.

  “This time it was forty-seven,” I said, smiling at her excitement.

  “That’s more than a month, right? That’s . . .”

  “Six weeks.”

  “I want to make a banner,” she said, jumping up and down.

  “Then let’s do it!” I responded, just as happy as she was at the prospect of seeing Kai. She spent hours decorating a banner, asking me how to spell words, double-checking the spelling and using way too much glitter and glue on the poster board so it was warped and completely unstable.

  But Kai didn’t come home that afternoon to see it. I called him at four that afternoon, concerned.

  “Hey, Evie. We left later than expected,” Kai said on a yawn. “We were out late with some fans.”

  I breathed through the jealousy writhing through me. I didn’t want other women looking at Kai, let alone touching him. Even though we were married, I was the least secure of the band’s significant others. Abbi just shrugged off another woman touching Clay, pointing out he didn’t ask for their attention. And Nessa traveled with Dane more often than not. But I . . . I was trying to build normalcy and continuity for a child. At least Nessa was there to keep the woman off Kai . . . most of the time.

  “Oh. Well, Paige was hoping to see you,” I said. So am I.

  “Yeah, it’ll be late. Maybe nine?”

  I glanced over at Paige, her big eyes pleading. “There’s no way you could get here sooner?”

  “No, Evie, there isn’t,” Kai’s voice built an edge. “First off, I’m not driving and second, you sound . . . naggy.”

  I gritted my teeth. “Really?” Much as I wanted to add And here I thought I was asking a simple question so I had good answers for your daughter who’s been asking about you since she woke up at five this morning I didn’t. I couldn’t say that in front of Paige.

  Kai blew out a gusty breath, probably hearing the anger in my single-word response. “Look, I’m sorry for snapping. It’s just . . . I’m tired and cranky. It’ll be late when we get there. I’ll have
to see Paige in the morning.”

  Paige edged closer, and when she heard those words, her eyes filled with tears and her little mouth fell open.

  “But . . . but . . . he said . . .” Her voice rose with each word. This was going to be bad. She was already storming toward her banner.

  “I have to go,” I said, my voice wavering. I winced at the first scream.

  “What the hell. Evie?” I clicked off the phone just as Paige ripped the first decoration from the poster board. I stood by, shocked to numbness as she dismantled the poster, screaming and crying.

  I was still cleaning it up when Kai finally walked in. I sucked in a deep breath, trying not to show my frustration.

  “Hey! I’m home.” He smiled as he dropped his duffle to the floor, followed by his bass cases. He tossed his keys on the counter. I finished emptying my dustpan into the trash before I turned to face him.

  “Glad to see you,” I said. I leaned over and gave him a kiss once he was near enough. Immediately, my shoulders stiffened. “You’ve had a drink. Is that where you were?”

  Kai frowned, his eyes never leaving mine as he nodded. “Dane wanted to grab a couple beers with Mitch. You know, our manager.”

  I knew of Mitch, but I’d yet to meet him. Because I was always with Paige. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing, exactly. It’s just that Paige hasn’t handled your being gone as well as I’d hoped she would.”

  He walked around me into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw the remnants of the banner littered all across the kitchen and dining area.

  “Did she do this?” Kai’s voice was filled with shock. For some reason, that made me angrier.

  “When you didn’t come home when you said you would, she ripped this all apart. Then, after she hit me, she bolted out the door, screaming for you. I had to chase her down the block and drag her back into the house. After another two hours of screaming and crying, she finally fell asleep.”

  His eyes were wide when he turned back toward me. “Has she hit the kid at ballet? Again?”