The Voice

by Jennifer Anne Davis

  I was getting ready to pass by them, so I focused straight ahead and picked up my pace.

  Justin went stiff, turning toward me. I felt the weight of his stare, and my face warmed. I kept moving, not acknowledging him.

  My appetite was gone. Why did Justin have this ability to affect my mood? Why did I even care about him? He was just some random boy that lived next to Kate. I continued walking aimlessly until the bell rang. Kate never had anything for me to do during my TA period, so I sat and read. The words blurred together as my mind returned again and again to Justin and that girl he’d been with.

  When Kate and I got home, I curled up on the couch, preparing to lose myself in War and Peace. Before I fully immersed myself into Tolstoy’s world, Caleb called, wondering where I was—it was time for physics. I reluctantly went over, praying I wouldn’t run into Justin.

  Caleb answered the door wearing only his shorts, and his hair was wet. “Hey, glad you came.” He smiled.

  I tried not to stare, but his body was extremely well defined. He had to work out. It was interesting that the lack of clothing didn’t bother me. I was used to it with my brothers. Guess I was only panicked by older men who reminded me of my uncle. Interesting. Definitely making progress.

  “We can study in my room,” he said.

  I followed Caleb upstairs, where he grabbed a shirt and pulled it over his head. Caleb’s bedroom faced the front of the house, which confirmed that it wasn’t the one I saw from Kate’s office. His room was neat and tidy—a bed against one wall, an oak dresser, and a picture of his girlfriend on his desk. He plopped down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I hesitated, then took a seat as far away from him as possible.

  Caleb laughed. “How are you going to see the book from over there?” he asked.

  Ignoring him, I scooted back against the wall and opened my backpack. I took out my notebook, not sure what to expect from him.

  Someone knocked, but Caleb ignored it. “Was that your front door?” I asked.

  Caleb looked into my eyes and smiled. It made me uncomfortable. I heard the knock again, slightly louder. Actually, it was more along the lines of pounding.

  “No, it’s not the front door.” Then what was it? “Let’s get started. I’m supposed to go to Hannah’s later.” I heard the pounding again. Caleb winced, making an odd face like he was concentrating, and then the pounding stopped.

  For the next hour, we studied on Caleb’s bed, with the book between us. Caleb was actually a good partner to work with. He kept everything focused on physics, which surprised me. We quizzed one another until we knew most of the material, and then I gathered up my stuff.

  “I should be going.”

  “And I need to get to Hannah’s,” Caleb said as he slid off the bed. He fidgeted at his desk for a minute before turning to face me. He leaned back with his arms folded.

  “What?” I asked, suddenly self-conscious.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?”

  I nodded, not sure I wanted to hear what he had to say.

  “Well, you’re hot. And from what I can tell, you’re nice and easy to talk to.”

  I’m sure my face was flaming red. I had no idea where he was going with this. “Your point?” I asked. Someone came running up the stairs. Was Justin home? If so, I prayed he wouldn’t come into Caleb’s room. There was no way I could face him right now.

  “You don’t have many friends at school,” Caleb observed.

  “So?”

  “I can introduce you to people, if that’s what you want.”

  I hadn’t expected that. “No, I’m fine.” There were several thumps from down the hall in the direction of Justin’s bedroom. Then there was a loud bang, as if the closet door had been slammed shut.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, pointing in the direction of the noise.

  Caleb laughed, ignoring my question. “Thanks for your help today.”

  Guess I wasn’t getting an answer out of him. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

  Slinging the backpack over my shoulder, I started to leave, and Caleb reached for my arm. Before he could touch me, though, his hand flew to his head and he cringed.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  After a moment, he dropped his hand. “It’s nothing,” he said, smiling.

  I got out of there quickly, thankful that Justin was nowhere in sight.

  Chapter 10

  Stop.

  I woke up, aware that the voice had spoken to me. What had he said? Stop? Was I having another nightmare? I didn’t remember having one. Rolling over in bed, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was 1:30 A.M. What had I been dreaming about? Oh. I smiled.

  I had been kissing someone, but shockingly, I hadn’t been afraid. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me close, and I melted into his arms. His kiss was gentle, tender. It was so different from anything I had experienced. But who was it? And why couldn’t I see his face?

  My mouth was dry, so I got out of bed and went downstairs. With a full moon illuminating the sky, it was enough for me to find my way around without turning any lights on. I grabbed a glass of water. After finishing it, I set the cup down in the sink. The moon was like a spotlight, shining down on the golf course. I had never been out there at night before.

  Opening the sliding glass door, I slipped outside. I pushed the back gate open and walked onto the course. The grass was wet and cold on my feet. I rolled up my PJ pants so they wouldn’t be soaked through.

  The smell of fresh cut grass lured me on. The tee wasn’t far away, so I headed in that direction. Images from my dream continued to swirl through my mind, confusing me. The two of us rolling around on the sand, the ocean behind us. Him sliding his hands under my shirt, caressing my skin. Strong arms holding me tight. No fear, only wanting. I never expected to have these thoughts or desires.

  What are you doing to me? the voice asked, his voice hoarse.

  Glancing around, I half expected the voice to come walking toward me. Was he the image I saw in my dream?

  A coyote howled, and my head snapped up, bringing me back to reality. I was making myself mad with things I’d never have, would never experience, and now I was hearing the voice again. I needed to get back inside before I ran into a coyote or something worse. I went in and curled up on the couch, really wanting to talk to the voice, like we used to in the cabin.

  He had always been the one to initiate conversation. All of a sudden, he would be talking to me in my mind. I had no idea how to get his attention or how to get him to talk to me. Whenever I responded to him, I always spoke out loud and assumed that’s how he heard me. But I really didn’t know how any of it worked.

  “Are you there?” I whispered, praying Kate wouldn’t wake up and wonder what I was doing.

  There was no response.

  “Please?” I tried again, louder. “I just want to talk.” We’d had conversations that lasted for hours when I was held hostage. Now I was lucky if I got a whole sentence from him.

  Straining to keep my eyes open, I waited. But he didn’t respond. I fell asleep on the couch, disappointed.

  The next evening, Kate was making chicken enchiladas for dinner when the phone rang and the caller I.D. showed it was my mom.

  “I’m not getting it,” Kate said, smiling. “I’m busy.”

  Sighing, I reached over and grabbed the phone. “Hello, Mother.”

  “You’re answering the phone now?” she asked.

  “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “It’s just that . . . well . . . you, oh, never mind.”

  Kate hummed while grating cheese.

  “So,” Mom said, “are you speaking with your therapist?” I should’ve offered to make dinner.

  I was supposed to call Mom on a weekly basis, but hadn’t called once. “I’ve been busy.”

  “Too busy to take care of yourself?”

  “Mom, I’m fine.”

  “No you’re not.”

  I didn’t want to
fight with her. “What do you want?” I asked.

  “We need to discuss the trial.” My body froze. Why was she bringing this up with me? Couldn’t she take care of the details? “Honey,” Mom continued, “the DA—that’s the district attorney—wants you to testify.”

  I felt like a truck had run me over. Testify? In court? In front of Bill? “They said I wouldn’t have to!” I yelled. The FBI agent I spoke with promised me that they had enough evidence without my testimony.

  “You don’t have to,” Mom said. “But . . .” she lingered.

  “But what?”

  “The DA believes that if you testify at the trial, it will help ensure Bill gets the maximum sentence. And don’t you want him to be in jail for as long as possible? I know I never want him out.”

  Of course I wanted the bastard locked up for the rest of his miserable life. But standing up in court, seeing him again . . . I didn’t think it was something I could do. “I don’t know,” I said. “I’ll have to think about it.” Just considering it sent my heart racing.

  Kate handed me a glass of water and took the phone. I felt like I had acid in my stomach, and my head pounded as if it were about to explode.

  She talked to my mom for a few minutes while I just stood there like a deer caught in a car’s headlights. When Kate got off the phone, she gently pulled me to the island.

  “Audrey, help me with these.” She pointed to the half-made enchiladas.

  “What do I do?” I asked, thankful for the distraction.

  “You spoon on the chicken mixture and I’ll roll.”

  I put the first scoop on the tortilla. Kate rolled it up and put it in the glass cookware. After we filled half the pan, she went to the pantry. “Oh, crap. I don’t have any more tortillas!” I looked at the chicken, not sure I felt like eating it by itself. “Can you go next door and see if Sarah has any we can have?”

  Couldn’t she call? Why did I have to go over there? “Sure.”

  I was glad Sarah answered the door. The boys were probably out—it was Saturday night.

  “Makayla, come in.” She didn’t seem all that surprised to see me.

  “Kate sent me over to see if you have any tortilla shells. We ran out.” I stood awkwardly in the entryway. Glancing to the top of the stairs, I didn’t see the boys.

  “Is Kate making her enchiladas?” I nodded. “I’ll give them to you on one condition.” She motioned for me to follow her to the kitchen. I prayed the boys weren’t in the family room. “Here they are,” she said, pulling a bag out of the pantry. “My only stipulation is that I get one.”

  “Sure,” I replied shyly. After grabbing the tortillas, I headed back to Kate’s. When I got there, she was on the phone.

  “We’ll be there in twenty minutes,” Kate said before hanging up.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t next door.

  “Over to Sarah’s. She loves my enchiladas, and she’s alone.”

  “So the boys aren’t home?” I asked.

  Kate eyed me and smirked. “No, they’re out.”

  I relaxed. I could handle eating over there then. After rolling the rest of the enchiladas, we put them in the oven to cook. I ran upstairs and changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. We planned to eat outside, and, when the sun went down, the air cooled.

  When we arrived, Sarah had guacamole and chips on the patio table.

  “I’m surprised you’re home, Makayla,” Sarah said, smiling at me. I still couldn’t believe she had twins my age. She looked so young. And beautiful. She had lighter hair, like Caleb, but her eyes were dark, like Justin’s.

  “Makayla doesn’t get out much. She’s far more concerned with homework than her social life,” Kate teased.

  She failed to mention I was carrying the workload of two schools. And dealing with everything else. And preparing to go to college next year.

  “Don’t forget, you’re only a senior once,” Sarah lectured. “You’ll never be seventeen again. Enjoy it. By the time you’re my age, you’ll have responsibilities and wish you could have your carefree childhood back.” Although smiling, there was a dark sadness to her that I hadn’t seen before. I wondered how old she was when she got pregnant with the boys. Sarah didn’t have a wedding ring on, and Caleb never mentioned his father.

  The conversation turned to Kate and her recent breakup with Mike. Kate was careful with what she said around me, so I tried to ignore them. When I was done eating my enchilada, I sat back in my chair, pulled my feet to my chest, and rested.

  “Hey, what’s everyone doing out here?” Caleb asked.

  I tried to remain calm, looking over as Caleb came out of the house.

  “Hi, honey.” Sarah said. “We’re having dinner. What are you doing home? Is Justin with you?”

  “Our original plans fell through. We’re here to regroup.”

  Hannah walked out with a guy and two girls I vaguely recognized from school. Hannah’s eyes zeroed in on me. “Makayla, is it?” I nodded. “Nice to see you.” She didn’t sound too nice. “And Ms. Brown! You know Makayla?” Hannah sounded more enthusiastic talking to Kate.

  “We’re family,” Kate responded. I thought Hannah was in Kate’s second-period class.

  Caleb turned and told everyone to go to his room. He kissed Hannah briefly on the lips and said he would be right there. Thankfully, I didn’t see Justin.

  Caleb came over and stood next to my chair. “What are you up to?” Obviously I had been eating. “Come upstairs. Join us.”

  “I don’t think so.” Kate and Sarah talked among themselves, trying to give us the illusion of privacy.

  “Why?” Caleb asked.

  “I don’t really know your friends.”

  “That’s the point.” He held out his hand to me. “Come on.”

  It made me feel good that he was including me, even though I had no intention of joining him. I only had a couple of weeks here before heading home. I didn’t feel like putting forth the effort it would take to act normal and friendly. Besides, it wasn’t worth irritating Hannah—she obviously didn’t care to be friends with me.

  The screen door clicked shut as Justin came walking toward us. I froze. He stopped five feet away, his arms crossed. Justin nodded to his mom and Kate in acknowledgement, but he never turned toward me.

  I couldn’t tell if he was mad or nervous. Justin had an odd expression, almost like he smelled something foul. The veins in his arms stood out. Maybe he was anxious about something, but it was pointless to sit here and guess—I didn’t know him well enough to be able to decipher his facial expressions. And I didn’t know why I even tried.

  “Justin,” there was a hint of warning in Sarah’s tone. “Why don’t you sit down with us for a bit.” He shook his head.

  Caleb smiled deviously. “Actually, that’s a good idea. Justin, you stay here and keep Makayla company while I go finalize plans with everyone. I’ll let you know when we’re ready.” Caleb pulled out the chair next to me. Before I could say anything, Caleb started to leave, patting Justin on the back as he passed by.

  Justin glared straight ahead, arms still crossed. I wished I could crawl into a hole and disappear. I didn’t want Justin to be forced to talk to me. Besides, how sad was that?

  “Justin,” Sarah snapped. Lovely. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. He turned and followed Caleb back into the house. Tears swelled in my eyes, but I refused to cry over the slight. What did it matter anyway? It’s not like we were ever going to be friends.

  “Makayla, you ready?” Kate asked, coming to my rescue. I nodded. What would I do without Kate? My mother never would have handled the situation with such grace.

  Lying in bed that night, I contemplated what it would actually mean to testify against Bill. The thought both satisfied and terrified me. I wanted to make sure he paid for his crimes, but I couldn’t imagine talking about being raped—using specific words and having to describe it while everyone watched and listened to me.

  Just thinking about it put
me on the verge of a panic attack. According to the DA, my testimony was vital. And if it helped ensure that Bill spent the rest of his life in jail, never able to do what he did to anyone else, then I really needed to take the stand. So I had to do it—not only for myself, but for every other girl out there. It would probably be one of the most difficult things I ever did.

  I’d call my mom tomorrow and tell her. I just wished this entire thing was behind me so I could move on with my life.

  Chapter 11

  I was on edge and couldn’t stop fidgeting with my nails and biting my lip. The DA prosecuting the case was supposed to call to explain the timeline and legal proceedings. He also wanted to go over the questions I would be asked and what I could expect during the trial. Part of me thought he also wanted to assess whether I was mentally stable enough to deal with something of this magnitude.

  Kate had said it was okay for me to keep my phone on vibrate. She’d given me a note for all of my teachers, indicating that I was to be excused from class if necessary. Really, it would’ve been easier to stay home. When I had suggested it, Kate just rolled her eyes.

  Walking to third-period English, I checked my phone again to make sure I hadn’t missed the call. One of the questions I wanted to ask the DA was if I could testify without my parents in the courtroom. It would be easier if Mom didn’t know the details, if I didn’t have to talk about it with her watching and listening.

  I slid into my seat and glanced over my shoulder. Justin was already sitting down, ignoring everything around him. The bell rang, causing me to jump.

  Mrs. Nocon launched the class into a discussion on the symbolism in A Tale of Two Cities. I wasn’t really paying attention until I heard the words “vengeance” and “fate.” Mrs. Nocon was explaining Madame Defarge’s knitting, and how this woman appears harmless when in fact she’s sentencing her victims to death.