The Voice

by Jennifer Anne Davis

  Rolling his eyes, he said, “Because I’ll be playing and it’ll be fun. I know ‘fun’ isn’t in your vocabulary, but you should try it. It might suit you. At least get you out of the house.”

  “We’ll see.” It might be fun to watch Caleb play. But he was the only one on the team that I actually knew. And who would I even go with?

  “We will see. I expect you there on Friday. And if you don’t come, I’ll tell Hannah you tried to kiss me.” He laughed, amusement dancing in his eyes.

  Seriously? The last thing I needed was Hannah—whom everybody loved and adored—kicking my butt. I wanted to smack him, but he ducked into the classroom before I had the chance.

  For the rest of the day, Caleb teased me about attending the game while Justin pretended like I didn’t exist. When school finally ended, I was on my way to Kate’s room when I saw Caleb and Justin arguing by the quad. I walked toward them, wondering if I could help. It seemed natural, since I’d had lots of practice as a mediator for my brothers.

  When I got closer, Justin was surprisingly loud. “Because I can’t,” he yelled. “Leave it alone, Caleb. Don’t force this.”

  “Why? It’s obvious you care about her,” Caleb responded, his voice calm and even.

  “I . . . it’s too painful. You don’t understand.” Justin backed away.

  “No, you don’t understand. Do you think someone like her comes around often?”

  “If you only knew what—” Justin froze, and snapped his head toward me, obviously irritated. Why did I walk into this?

  Caleb recovered first. “Makayla, need a ride home?” He smiled.

  “No, I’m on my way to Kate’s room.” I turned and forced myself to walk away slowly. They were probably fighting about that girl Justin was talking to the other day. But I didn’t care. What bothered me was Justin’s behavior. He was beyond irritating.

  Kate declared that we weren’t having dinner. Instead, we were going to eat buttered popcorn and Ben & Jerry’s cookie-dough ice cream while watching one of the dozen DVDs she had rented. But before we could officially start the binge fest, Kate turned the stereo on and cranked the volume up. It was an old Gwen Stefani song, to which Kate apparently knew all the words.

  “Come on, Audrey. Get off your butt and dance with me!”

  I laughed. “Sorry, I don’t dance.”

  “Everybody dances. Come on.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. Luckily, she let go before she started twirling around. Kate looked ridiculous with her hair flying every which way, her arms doing one thing and her legs another. I was getting dizzy just watching her. “Let loose, Audrey. There’s no one here to see you.”

  I wasn’t afraid of what I looked like—but of letting go, giving up control.

  “Shut your eyes and move to the music,” Kate demanded.

  “Fine.” I shut my eyes and swayed, then slowly got into it. Opening my eyes, I saw Kate jumping on the couch. And I thought I had issues.

  There was nothing to do but laugh. It looked like Kate was having fun, and, on a whim, I joined her. We had to jump in sync so neither of us would be thrown from the couch. Once we got our rhythm down, Kate sang along. And by sing, I meant yelling off-key.

  That’s when we heard the doorbell ringing.

  “Expecting someone?” Kate asked.

  I shook my head. “Maybe it’s Mike wanting you back,” I teased. The doorbell rang again.

  “I wouldn’t take him back even if he groveled. Actually, I would enjoy seeing that,” she said. “But he’s a bastard. Cheating on me. That’ll never happen again.” Kate jumped off the couch and turned the music down. I could hear again.

  “Are you going to answer it?” I asked. I swung my arm toward the door and fell off the couch. Apparently I couldn’t dance and talk at the same time.

  We both laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Actually, I might have, just a little.

  Kate threw the door open, laughing, tears streaming down her face.

  “Aunt Kate? You okay?” Was that my brother? What was he doing here? I jumped up, still dizzy, and fell flat on my face. Damn that hurt. “Audrey? What are you two doing?” Bret asked.

  “What does it look like? We’re dancing.”

  Bret dropped his duffel bag and ran over to help me up.

  “She’s fine, Bret,” Kate said, sounding annoyed.

  Bret shot Kate a look of death—one my mother would be proud of. “She doesn’t look fine!” Did we look that bad? Kate’s hair was a little disheveled.

  “Lighten up!” Panting, Kate sat on the floor right next to the front door. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have school?” she asked.

  “I came to check on Audrey.”

  So much for our girls’ night.

  After the prank call, Dillon, Carter, and Bret all wanted to make sure I was okay, but Bret was the only one able to get away from school for a couple of days. We put the chick flick on hold, and Kate ordered pizza so we could hang out and talk. Since Bret was exhausted from his flight, we all ended up going to bed early.

  The next morning, I went downstairs. Bret was already studying at the kitchen table. His brown hair was longer than I remembered. It looked good with his square face, brown eyes, and strong jaw line. My friends said Bret was hot. Since he was my brother, it was hard to be objective. I still remembered when he stuck that Lego up his nose. Mom had to take him to the doctor when she couldn’t get it out. The whole incident was beyond gross.

  “What’s with the new haircut?” Bret casually asked.

  “What do you think?” I opened the cupboard, looking for a clean bowl.

  “Trying to be someone else?” he asked.

  “Of course.” It was too early for the third degree.

  “What’s wrong with Audrey?” He put his book down, scrutinizing me.

  “Everyone knows her. I had to change in order to blend in,” I answered.

  “Blend in?” he asked, confused.

  “At school.” I poured a bowl of Golden Grahams and sat down across from Bret.

  “You’re going to school?” he asked incredulously.

  “Well, Kate was afraid to leave me alone after I tried to kill myself.” Bret’s expression turned to shock. Oops. “But I’m not going to kill myself anymore.” I scooped a large spoonful of cereal and shoved it into my mouth in order to avoid talking.

  “Audrey,” Bret began, “you need to be getting professional help. Are you still seeing your therapist? Does she know you’ve been suicidal?” He tapped the table with his pen.

  “It’s under control now. Kate’s helping me.” He didn’t look convinced. At least I would have a couple of days to show him that I was doing better. Because I was doing better, wasn’t I?

  After lunch, Bret and I went on a walk around Kate’s neighborhood. He thought it would be good for me to get some fresh air. Out of all my brothers, we were the closest. Maybe it was because he was only two years older than me. While we walked, I allowed Bret to keep his arm draped protectively around my shoulder, proof that I was getting better. He talked about college, his classes, and a girl he had just started dating. It was nice to have some normalcy to my life.

  I led us back to Kate’s street. “Glad you know your way around. All the houses look alike,” Bret laughed.

  “I like it here,” I sighed.

  “I can tell. You and Kate seem close.”

  “We are. She’s kind of like a sister.” Bret eyed me. I knew what he was thinking—Kate wasn’t supposed to be a sister figure.

  “I still can’t believe Kate’s making you go to school. That sucks.”

  “Yes, it does,” I said. “But at least it helps keep my mind occupied.”

  Bret nodded in understanding. “Have you gone out at all?” I shook my head. “Let’s go out tonight. You still owe me a rematch. Just because my go-kart malfunctioned doesn’t mean you beat me.”

  I laughed. “Hey, I have to take a win however I can. How else am I supposed to compete against three o
lder brothers?”

  We were almost to Kate’s house when Caleb’s Jeep flew past us and pulled into their driveway. Justin jumped out and glared at me for a few seconds before hurrying into the house. Caleb waved meekly and followed Justin inside.

  “Who are they?” Bret asked.

  “Caleb and Justin. I go to school with them.”

  “Is something going on between you and the one who waved,” Bret asked carefully.

  “Friends—that’s all.”

  “What did you do to piss off the other one?” Bret asked.

  “Why do you immediately think it’s me? That’s just the way he is.”

  Bret laughed. “Well, you do tend to have that effect on people.”

  I punched his arm. Maybe having him around wasn’t so great after all.

  Chapter 13

  Back at the house, Bret and I hung out in the family room playing video games. After he beat me again, I’d had enough.

  “Break time,” I said, tossing the remote on the couch.

  “What’s the matter? Hate losing?” Bret teased.

  “I haven’t played in awhile, in case you forgot.” That shut him up.

  I could tell he wanted to talk by the awkward silence that followed. I wanted him to be normal with me instead of sheltering me or being secretive. The only way we were going to get through this and move on was to talk about what happened. Sitting cross-legged on the couch, I angled my body sideways in order to face him.

  “What is it, Bret? I’m not so fragile anymore—you can talk to me. If it’s too much, I’ll tell you.”

  Bret carefully placed his remote on the coffee table and turned toward me. “Wow. It’s amazing how well you’re doing. You have no idea—we’ve been going crazy worrying about you.”

  “I know. But you don’t need to.” I just needed a little more time before I would be ready to return home.

  He hugged me gently, and I was okay with the contact. “It wouldn’t hurt for you to call us once in a while. We’ve been trying to give you space, but we miss you.”

  The doorbell rang and Bret went to answer it. “Makayla, someone’s here for you.” Bret led Caleb into the family room.

  “Hey,” Caleb said. “Want the homework assignments for today so you don’t get behind?”

  “Sure,” I replied. Caleb plopped down in the recliner, and Bret sat on the couch a few feet from me. “So you met Bret?” I asked.

  “Yeah.” Caleb opened his backpack and pulled out his folder.

  Bret’s phone rang. “I need to take this. I’ll be right outside in case you need anything.” He gave Caleb a hard look before slipping out the back door.

  “You’re awfully quiet today,” I commented once Bret left.

  Caleb didn’t smile. Wow. How unlike him. “Long day. I take it you’re not sick.” His voice was harsh, like he was accusing me of something.

  “I’m fine.” Thankfully, Kate had called me in sick so I could spend time with my brother.

  “You never mentioned a boyfriend.” Caleb glared at me.

  Did he seriously think Bret was my boyfriend? I laughed. “You’ve never asked.” Why did he care anyway? He had a girlfriend.

  “What did I miss today in school?” I asked, changing the subject.

  After Caleb gave me the assignments, I walked him out. “Are you two serious?” he asked, not wanting to let it go.

  “He’s not my boyfriend. Besides, what’s it to you?” I demanded, tired of the twins and their emotional mood swings.

  “Doesn’t matter to me. Someone I know was asking about you. That’s all.” He wasn’t completely convincing, but why else would he care?

  “Bret’s my brother,” I clarified, remembering too late that I was supposed to be Mike’s sister. Oops. Hopefully Caleb wouldn’t figure it out.

  He smiled and mumbled to himself, “That’s going to be hard not thinking about.” I had no idea what he meant. Then his eyes narrowed in a devious sort of way.

  I began to shut the door, but Caleb’s hand flew out to stop me. “What are you doing tonight?” he asked wryly.

  “I don’t know. Bret wants to race go-karts.”

  I could see the wheels spinning in Caleb’s head. What was he up to? He almost looked guilty. “Hannah’s coming over. Maybe we can go with you.”

  No. I did not want to be around her, and I didn’t want to share Bret. We barely had any time as it was.

  Before I had a chance to say no, Kate appeared behind me. “Caleb! That’s a great idea. The four of you should go to Boomers. That’ll be fun.” Then Bret was there, and before I could say anything, plans were officially made. It was a conspiracy, and I was outnumbered.

  I wasn’t looking forward to spending the evening with Hannah and Caleb, but Bret seemed happy to be going out. When they picked us up, Hannah looked even less thrilled than I was. Of course she was beautiful in her short skirt and frilly top. Her legs were long and tan, and her hair was perfect. I wondered how long it took her to put on all that makeup. Climbing into the Jeep, even Bret gave her a once over.

  Boomers wasn’t crowded, probably because it was a weeknight. We decided to play miniature golf first. Bret and I against Caleb and Hannah. When Hannah discovered that not only was Bret my brother but that he was in college, she started paying him a lot of attention. Surprisingly, Caleb didn’t seem to care. Was this sort of thing normal? Or did he really just trust her? By the time we were done, Bret and Hannah were a hole behind Caleb and me. How did that happen?

  I was starting to get a little jealous that Hannah was monopolizing my brother. Luckily, Bret either picked up on it or felt the same way. He managed to steal me for a one-on-one game of air hockey. Then we had our long-awaited rematch on the go-karts.

  Bret won both. Bastard.

  I didn’t go to school Thursday either. Instead, Bret and I went to the beach and hung out most of the day. He had brought a letter from Kara. She wrote that she missed me and couldn’t wait for me to return. Kara talked about senior year, teachers, the tennis team, and who was dating whom. I asked Bret to thank her for me and to tell her I’d be home soon.

  We also talked about my testifying. At first it was difficult to even say Bill’s name out loud and to verbalize some of the things that happened. But the more we talked, the easier it became. Bret supported my decision and said he would help in any way he could. It felt really good to be able to spend time with him. I hadn’t realized how much I missed him.

  When the time came for him to leave, it was hard to say good-bye. I walked him to the door to wait for his airport shuttle to arrive.

  “Hang in there. If there’s anything you need, let me know. And . . . you’re doing well.” Bret hugged me, grabbed his duffle bag, and left. I went up to Kate’s room to watch him from the front window.

  He stood by the curb, pacing. He ran his hands through his hair, something he tended to do when nervous. Maybe he was worried the shuttle wouldn’t arrive on time. Then he looked at the twins’ house and headed toward it. What in the world was he doing? I slid the window open so I could call out and ask him, but he was already out of sight. A few seconds later, Bret walked back to Kate’s driveway, followed by Caleb.

  Bret set his bag down and turned around.

  “What’s up?” Caleb asked.

  “I want to make sure you don’t have any interest in my sister,” Bret said.

  Oh lord, did he always have to be so overprotective?

  “She’s nice. We study together. And Kate asked me to keep an eye on her.” Caleb put his hands in his pockets, trying to act casual. “But what if I were interested in Makayla?”

  Wrong thing to say to Bret. He had a history of talking before thinking things through. I guess that was the result of having two older brothers—he was always forced to defend himself. “Because she’s my baby sister,” he replied. “And she’s been through a lot. If you’re just friends, that’s fine. She could use a friend. But if it’s something more, then I want you to stay away from her.�
� Bret’s voice was hard, like he was straining to keep his cool.

  “Don’t worry, I have a girlfriend. I’m only interested in Makayla as a friend.”

  Bret mulled over what Caleb said. “I don’t want anyone taking advantage of her or using her.”

  Caleb looked confused. “Using her?”

  “To make your girlfriend jealous,” Bret clarified. I hadn’t thought of that one, but there was no way Caleb was using me to make Hannah jealous.

  “Trust me, that’s not the case.” Caleb looked like he was trying to determine how much to say. “Hannah and I won’t last. We fight like crazy and she’s into some stuff that I’m not. But regardless of what happens between us, I don’t like Makayla that way. She’s like a little sister to me.”

  “I don’t want her misreading anything,” Bret said.

  Oh, come on, I wasn’t stupid.

  “I understand.” Bret looked doubtful, and Caleb continued, “I feel protective of her, that’s all. But I can talk to her if you want. Although I don’t think she’s misreading me.” Caleb glanced back toward his house. “Anything else?” he asked.

  “One more thing. What’s with your brother?” That piqued my interest.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I saw how he looked at Makayla. Either he likes her or she did something to make him mad. Which one is it?”

  I knew it had to be the second, although I had no idea what I’d done. All I knew for certain was that Justin didn’t have any interest in me—he didn’t even like me as a friend.

  “Does it matter?” Caleb asked.

  “Yes. If he likes her, he needs to know she’s not ready for a relationship. Besides, she won’t be here much longer.” Bret looked in my direction. I slid down so he wouldn’t see me in the window.

  “Don’t you think she’s capable of making her own decisions? Why are you so overbearing? Isn’t that why she came here in the first place?” Caleb countered.

  Bret’s hands balled into fists, but he kept them at his sides. “You don’t know the first thing about her.” The shuttle arrived, and Bret’s body relaxed. “Make sure Justin stays away from her.” Did he really think Justin was potentially harmful?