The Voice

by Jennifer Anne Davis

“So I’m your first?” His smile widened.

  I felt my face burn. “And you?” I asked.

  “I’ve been to a few. Never with anyone that I’ve . . . not with a girlfriend.” Hearing him say “girlfriend” made me smile.

  We entered the gym, which had been transformed into exactly what I pictured. Balloons, loud music, and dim lighting. The smell of stale sweat hung in the air. I was anxious. I had never danced with a boy before—well, a boy other than one of my brothers.

  Thankfully, a slow song was playing, and Justin led me out to the dance floor. Holding me close, we moved to the music. I never wanted to leave his arms—they were safe, warm. They tightened around me and I felt the muscles in his arms. I abruptly stopped the thought process, not wanting him to read my mind. I was just about to imagine what his arms would feel like without his clothes. Dang it, I could feel myself blushing.

  His chest vibrated from a chuckle. “I’ve pictured being with you countless times,” he whispered close to my ear, causing me to shiver.

  Everything felt perfect until his body suddenly froze.

  “Something wrong?” I asked. He stared at my face, but didn’t seem focused on me. “What? You’re scaring me.”

  His eyes darted around the dance floor. “Let’s go.” It had to be my stalker. I trembled. “No, it’s not that. Hannah found out.”

  Hannah? Caleb’s ex-girlfriend? What?

  Justin pulled me closer and whispered, “Hannah heard Caleb call you Audrey. He must have slipped at school. She remembered Kate saying something about having a niece named Audrey. Hannah did a little digging and discovered who you are. She knows what happened.”

  Oh. “Has she told anyone?” I asked.

  “Her group of friends. They all know.” Worry and concern were clear on his face.

  I had been so absorbed with Justin that I had failed to notice anyone around me. Now that I was paying attention, I saw it in some of their eyes. That look, a mixture of horror and sympathy.

  Instinct told me to run. But I would have to face this when I went back home. Although there was no point in going through it twice, it was good practice. Searching Justin’s eyes, I saw that he understood. And there was something else there. Admiration? He seemed too good to be true.

  “It was the instantaneous connection we shared,” Justin said. “The moment I spoke in your mind, I knew you were someone I wanted to be with. I don’t care about what you went through. I mean, I care that it happened to you. And I want to help. But it doesn’t make me love you any less.”

  “I love you,” I said before I even realized I had spoken out loud. As soon as I said the words, I knew they were true. I’d loved him since the days when he was only a voice in my head.

  When the song ended, Justin led me to the tables edging the dance floor. As soon as I sat down, Hannah and a few other girls approached. At first I was afraid of what they would say, wondering why they would even say anything at all. But then something strange happened.

  Hannah took my hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, Audrey. If I had known, I would’ve been nicer. I’m glad you’re okay.”

  Another girl, Lillie, looked me in the eyes and said, “Make the bastard pay. I hope he rots in jail.”

  Her boyfriend simply said, “Sorry.” He, too, moved on.

  A few more girls from her group apologized and said they were glad I was okay.

  What? I hadn’t expected that. Maybe they all knew this could have happened to any one of them. And no one felt horror toward me—it was horror for me. They shared in my grief. Some were even angry and encouraged me to make sure Bill spent the rest of his life in jail.

  It gave me strength, and so did Justin, who stood by me the entire time.

  Chapter 25

  After the night of the dance, Justin asked me to spend the day with him. I assumed he wanted to do something Californian again, like Sea World, so I was excited, but he was acting strange. Without saying a word, he pulled into the apartment complex across from the high school. I was utterly confused.

  After parking, we got out. Taking my hand, Justin led me to an apartment on the upper floor. Was he seriously not going to talk to me? He had to know how confused I was. What was the point of his mind-reading thing if he wasn’t going to utilize it when I actually wanted him to?

  Justin, hello, what’s going on? His head jerked, so I knew he’d heard me. He knew exactly how I felt, and he wasn’t going to tell me anything.

  Finally, after we were standing before an apartment door, he took my shoulders and looked at me nervously. “I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want you to freak out. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

  That wasn’t good.

  “No, not bad,” he continued. “I knew you wouldn’t want to attend a support group for sexually abused victims.” Damn right. “But I want you to meet someone who has gone through something similar to you. Not quite so violent, but she’s experienced enough.”

  She? He was introducing me to another girl? How did he know her?

  “Don’t get all upset. You’ll like her. I think it will be helpful for you two to talk.”

  He rang the bell before I could object. The door swung open, and standing before me was the girl I had seen him with at school and at the party.

  She was tall and fit with short, black hair and big, brown eyes accentuated by light makeup. She wore skinny black jeans with layered tank tops. Her eyes raked over me, and I was totally intimidated. I wanted to bolt. She was so different from me; how could Justin think we had anything in common?

  “Bree, this is Audrey—the girl I was telling you about.”

  She moved aside, indicating for us to enter. Justin gently nudged me forward, and I went in.

  Bree put out her hand and stopped Justin. “I think it’ll be better if I talk to Audrey alone.”

  Justin nodded. “I’ll be back in a little bit.”

  “Justin. . . .”

  Please, Audrey, trust me on this. It’ll help to talk to someone.

  I nodded. Even though I didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially Bree, I would do it for him.

  Bree shut the door and led me over to the family room. I looked around at all the quilts and knick-knacks. It felt like an old person’s home and had a distinct musty smell.

  “Audrey, I know you’re uncomfortable being here and that’s understandable. You don’t have to say anything to me. I am simply going to offer you advice based on my experience.” Her face softened, and she did look concerned. Bree sat on the couch with effortless grace and crossed her long, lanky legs. She leaned forward, like she was speaking to a child.

  I sat on the chair across from her, unsure of what to do.

  “When I was thirteen, I was raped by my mother’s boyfriend. I told my mom, but she didn’t believe me. I didn’t tell anyone else, and it happened again.” Bree spoke very matter-of-factly. “I ran away to my grandmother’s.” She waved her hand, indicating that this was her grandmother’s place.

  I remembered Justin saying Bree’s grandmother was telepathic and that she was helping him learn to manage his telepathy.

  “Unfortunately, I felt guilty and embarrassed, and I didn’t talk to anyone. It ate away at me. I didn’t have healthy relationships with others. I found myself heading down a dark path—drugs, sex. And I was only a freshman in high school.”

  I knew about that dark path. That’s when I had contemplated suicide, and even at the beach when I had gotten drunk. Thank God I hadn’t continued on that path.

  “Then I met Justin and we became friends. After he gained my trust, he introduced me to his support group. And that support group has changed my life.”

  My heart began to race. His support group? Why did I suddenly feel like a mouse caught in a trap?

  I found my voice. “It helped to talk to people you didn’t know?”

  “No, not talking. Listening. Once I understood that there are other people who have been to hell and back, I realized I could do it too.�
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  My head pounded. “You mentioned Justin’s support group?”

  Bree’s eyebrows bent in. “Yes, well, his mom’s.”

  “What?”

  “Didn’t he tell you about his mother?”

  I shook my head. “He never mentioned anything to me.” I wondered why. He’d had plenty of opportunities.

  “His mother was raped when she was sixteen. It was pretty brutal. The guy was arrested, but she ended up pregnant.”

  I felt as if a freight train had smashed into my body. I could barely keep myself on the chair.

  “I think helping out with the group is Justin and Caleb’s way of righting the wrongs of their father.”

  The room spun. Justin’s father was a rapist? Did Justin only care about me because he thought he could help me? I was so naive. I had to leave before I started hyperventilating or crying. And I refused to cry in front of Bree.

  “There’s something else I want to explain. By attending the group, I learned that I could either let what happened affect the rest of my life, ruining everything and controlling me, or I could refuse to give it power.”

  Bree stood and walked over to the window. Staring outside, she continued, “I refused to let it destroy me. You don’t have to forget what happened, but you don’t have to dwell in it. Don’t waste any more time living in the past. Keep moving forward. If you let it consume you, then he wins. Moving on and having a successful life is the best revenge. It’s all about control, and he doesn’t control your life. You do.” She turned around and faced me.

  “With time and distance, it is getting easier,” I absently admitted.

  “That’s normal. You’re starting to heal. But what I want you to understand is that you can’t let this be a chip on your shoulder. Let it empower you—not define you.”

  “I need to go.”

  “Please think about what I’ve said. And if you want to come to one of our meetings, I’m sure Justin will bring you.”

  I thanked her for her time and left. I had no idea how close Justin was and if he was listening in. His car was parked in front of the building, and when I got in, he was already there, waiting for me. I kept my mind blank by counting and didn’t stop until we got home.

  In my bedroom, I grabbed my suitcase and began packing. I needed to keep my mind occupied, because I couldn’t shake the fact that Justin was pretending to be my boyfriend in order to get me to join a support group. That he felt sorry for people like me.

  There was a soft knock on the bedroom door. I turned, expecting Justin, and instead found Caleb.

  “What do you want?”

  “To see if you’re okay. I could feel your emotions all the way next door, which is rare for me.”

  I glared at him.

  “Want to talk?” he asked.

  “How could you do this to me?” I yelled. Caleb looked confused. “Was I simply a charity case? Did you need someone for your support group?” I couldn’t help it; the tears came. Damn it.

  Caleb came in and took hold of my arms. “Listen to me. There has to be some misunderstanding.”

  I shook my head. “I spoke with Bree.”

  “So?”

  “She told me all about your mother and the support group that you and Justin help run. I thought he actually liked me, but I guess I was wrong. Justin probably just wants me to join your stupid group so he can feel better about himself.”

  Shaking his head, Caleb pulled me close, hugging me. “You’ve got it all wrong.” I was sobbing right onto his shirt, snot and all. Lovely. “Audrey, yes, our mother was raped. Justin and I do help her with a support group for victims. We also try to help anyone we can. But that’s separate from you. Justin wanted Bree to talk to you because he thought she could help. That’s all. It doesn’t change anything.”

  Yes, it did. They weren’t who I thought they were.

  “Our support group is mostly for teens who have been molested by a family member or raped at a party or something. We get these girls talking about what happened in order to move on, but we’re not actually part of the group.”

  What he said didn’t matter. They should’ve told me.

  “Look,” Caleb continued, “I know Justin loves you, and I think of you as a sister—not as someone I can help. When we first met, I knew Justin had a thing for you. My goal wasn’t to fix you or get you into our support group; it was to get you living your life again. That’s all.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why didn’t you tell me about your mom? About the group? Especially if it’s such a big part of your lives?” I asked.

  “Justin didn’t want to tell you. He was afraid of your reaction. I guess I get it now.”

  I wasn’t sure what to believe. I vaguely heard someone else enter the room.

  “Audrey.” It was Justin.

  I kept my face buried on Caleb’s chest. I wasn’t ready to deal with Justin yet.

  “I’m so sorry,” Justin said.

  Why didn’t you tell me? I asked.

  “When I found you in the cabin, it had nothing to do with that part of my life. Something about you drew me in. Then I got to know you. I was afraid that, if you found out about my mom or the support group, you wouldn’t believe me.”

  I started crying again.

  “Please, Audrey. I love you.”

  I need time to process, I thought to him.

  Chapter 26

  Since I was leaving on Friday, I didn’t see the point of continuing to go to school. But Kate insisted that I attend, even if it was only to keep me safe. When the bell rang at the end of the day, Caleb walked me to Kate’s classroom. He left for football practice, and I slid into a chair while I waited for Kate to get off the phone. After about ten minutes, she hung up.

  “I just had the strangest call. A friend of one of my students told me that he has to talk to me in person, right now. Something about suicide. It was hard to hear him. He’s on his way to my room.”

  “But I need to get home,” I replied. I had a phone conference scheduled with the DA in twenty minutes. We planned to run through the questions I’d be asked so I’d be prepared to take the stand. I couldn’t miss the call.

  Kate grabbed her purse and pulled her keys out. “Call Justin. Tell him you’re driving home and have him meet you out front in the driveway. You’re not to be left alone, even for a minute. Are we clear?”

  I hadn’t spoken to Justin since the day before. Avoiding him was easier than deciding what to believe or who to trust, or facing the truth.

  “You’ll be fine,” Kate continued. “You have to know the way by now.” I nodded. Was my Pennsylvania license legal in California? I texted Justin, and he agreed to be waiting for me.

  Kate walked me to her car and watched me get in, lock the doors, and drive off. Pulling out of the staff parking lot, I saw Kate in the rearview mirror, standing on the sidewalk by the front office, biting her nails. I was thankful I didn’t have to get on the freeway. I couldn’t drive with that many lanes or so many cars speeding by.

  I drove past the grocery store, movie theater, and all of the stores along Carmel Mountain Road. Then I turned left, leaving the shopping centers behind and heading toward the residential area.

  A loud sound thundered through the car, and I jumped. The car tilted, and I almost lost control. I steered the car to the side of the road and got out to see what had happened.

  The back tire had blown. Having no idea how to change a tire, I pulled out my cell and called Justin. He told me to get back in the car and wait for him.

  After a couple of minutes, a tow truck pulled up in front of me. A guy with a clipboard got out of the truck.

  I turned the key, rolling the window down a few inches so I could talk to him.

  “Someone called for a tow to the nearest tire center,” he said.

  It must have been Justin. He probably didn’t know how to change a tire either.

  When I got out of the car, the guy handed me the c
lipboard so I could fill out some forms while he hooked the car up to the truck. The forms looked basic. I began to read through them and sign where necessary. A shadow caught my attention off to the side. Before I knew what was happening, something slammed into my head.

  Everything went black.

  Audrey? Where are you? Audrey?

  The blackness receded and pain crashed into my head. It felt like a hammer was smashing my skull above my right ear. What happened? Where was I? My eyes slowly opened. I was sitting on the front seat of the tow truck, my hands tightly bound.

  Sitting next to me was the tow-truck driver.

  “You’re awake,” he said with a smile.

  “What’s going on?” I croaked. My stomach felt like it had worms crawling in it. My vision blurred and I blinked, trying to clear it. I saw blood on my shirt. I felt something dripping on the side of my cheek, and I realized blood was oozing down my face.

  “This really is all your fault,” he replied, removing his baseball cap and setting it on the seat between us.

  His face was covered with stubble, but I immediately recognized him.

  This could not be happening.

  Audrey! The stalker is after you. Please tell me you are sitting in Kate’s car right now, waiting for me. Justin sounded desperate, and he was the key to surviving this.

  I’m tied up in a tow truck with stalker guy, I thought back to him. First Rate Towing. I don’t recognize where we’re going. I see a sign for Ramona.

  Justin responded, I’ll call the police. Keep your eyes open for any other signs. Don’t worry. I’ll be there soon.

  His voice was laced with panic. That made two of us.

  The truck kept going. Buildings faded away and ugly brown hills greeted us. We were clearly leaving civilization, but where were we headed? The desert? The middle of nowhere?

  “Why are you doing this? Who are you?” I demanded. He wouldn’t intimidate me. I had already been to hell and back. I would survive this as well.

  He looked at me and smiled. By all appearances, he seemed like a normal guy. Not scary stalker at all. But looks could be deceiving.