Sinner

by Minx Hardbringer

  “Zach, is this your girlfriend?”

  “Zach, are you officially off the market?”

  “Do you think your female fans will be disappointed?”

  The questions pour out of the crowd faster than anyone could answer them even if they were trying. Zach isn’t trying. He puts his arm around my waist, puts his head down, and soldiers on through the constant flashing of the cameras.

  I’m half blind and terrified right now. I’ve seen these types of scenes before, but I’ve always been on the outside looking in at the stars who are in the crosshairs of the fans and photographers. I want to push him away because I know he’s making them think we are together, but I feel better pressed against his side. We’ll just have to have a talk about this when we get back.

  When we’re back inside, I feel like laying into him. I shouldn’t be that angry, but my adrenaline is pumping. If I ever thought for a brief moment that I could date a rock star, that mob of paparazzi and fans just proved to me why it’s a terrible idea.

  “You let them think I’m your girlfriend.” I say and try to temper my anger.

  “Relax, Josie. I just wanted to get us out of there. Besides, is the world thinking you’re mine really the worst thing?”

  “When in the history of the world has telling a woman to relax ever actually resulted in her relaxing?” I seethe. “I want to go back to school and get my Master’s Degree, and I want to run my own music management business someday. I can’t be taken seriously in the industry if I’m seen as nothing more than your arm candy of the week.”

  “You wouldn’t need to go back to school and run your own business if you were mine. I would take care of you.” He says in a deep voice with his muscular chest puffed out. The word mine even sounded like a low growl.

  Oh, Lord help me because I am not sure I can handle any caveman, alpha-male behavior right now from this man. “Is that really what you think of me?” I hiss. “Do you see me as the kind of woman who wants a man to take care of her?”

  “Josie, please calm down.” He says squaring his shoulders and thrusting his chest out even more.

  In addition to his defined chest and what I can only imagine is a tight, six-pack stomach, he’s got big, strong arms too. I can see his leg muscles straining against his jeans, and I realize I have lost my mind. I need to focus. I cannot be swept up in his perfectly sculpted body, so I look up at his face. His big green eyes rimmed with plush lashes are staring right at me.

  For the love of all that lives and breathes, Josie, you have to focus. You’re having a fight with this man, not falling in love with him.

  “Josie?” Zach says as he reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “You alright?”

  “I’m fine. And, I don’t want to have this conversation with you anymore.” I say and head off to find Andy.

  Zach

  Nothing I do seems to be good enough for her, but that only makes me want to try harder. All that stuff she was going on and on about school and a career, it’s hard for me to believe that she doesn’t want a man to take care of her. So many women would give anything to be my woman and live the life of a rock star’s wife.

  Then again, all of the women I’ve met who wanted that from me only wanted the life. They weren’t particularly interested in me, but they wanted the fancy cars, nice home, and the prestige that comes with saying you’re with Zach Verona. But, where would those women be when the fame starts to fade? I know Troubled Kids is on top of the world right now, but that isn’t going to last forever. I’m not delusional enough to believe that being a star lasts long-term for more than a select few bands.

  I’m pretty sure that wherever I end up when this thrill ride is over, I want it to be with Josie. I barely know her, but something about her calls out to something deep inside of me. When I met her, I just knew she was the one.

  She grew up in the business and is used to the perks, so maybe I’m just not trying hard enough. Flowers are nice, but Josie is a queen. I will have to provide her with the types of gifts a queen deserves if I ever want her to give me a chance.

  That has to be the solution, right?

  Josie

  By the fourth night of the tour, I’m in a rhythm. The other band members, besides Zach, and I are getting along great. The shows are going well, and I’m staying one step ahead of all of my duties. I never feel like I’m rushed or behind. I’m starting to believe that music management is my true calling in life. If I was in sports, I’d be in the zone.

  The second night of the tour, I find Andy’s dressing room filled with flowers of every color in the rainbow. When I go in to get some work done, he is sitting at the dressing table grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

  “Somebody has an admirer.” I tease and give him a big hug from behind.

  “They aren’t for me.” He says, and my jaw drops. “You’re kidding?” I say, but he shakes his head no and points at me.

  Andy was quickly becoming like family to me, and I was so thankful to have him. He kept me sane and gave me an outlet for my frustrations, and I keep him company while the other band member’s party with fans and groupies.

  I was starting to think the whole book nerd persona Zach was displaying when we first met was an act. Andy said he’s reserved sometimes, but for the last couple of nights he’s been partying with everyone else. I haven’t seen him take one of the many women who throw themselves at him back to his room, but he sure does put on a show when they’re hanging off him in the VIP room and on the bus.

  Is he trying to make me jealous?

  I can’t figure it out. He’s flirting and partying with the groupies in front of me, but sending me thousands of dollars’ worth of flowers. I will tell you right now, I donated all of those flowers to a local nursing home. Two of the roadies and I packed them up and delivered them after the show. They were breathtakingly beautiful, and it makes me happy to think that the residents of Pine Groves Nursing Home and Assisted Living woke up in the morning to a forest of bright blooms.

  Andy told me later that Zach looked absolutely crestfallen when he told him what I’d done. He tried to explain to Mr. Rock God Verona that donating the flowers is what made me happy, and he should take a hint. Zach still doesn’t get it, though, because the second night of the tour, I found a diamond and amethyst bracelet waiting for me in Andy’s dressing room when I went in to work on coordinating the band’s schedule on my laptop.

  “Maybe if I work in one of the other guy’s dressing rooms, he won’t be able to leave gifts for me anymore.” I said to Andy, but I unconsciously put the bracelet on.

  “Don’t you dare. It won’t stop him, anyway. It looks good on you.” He says, and I look down with horror.

  It does look good on me, but that doesn’t make it right. I take it off, and lock it up on the bus for safekeeping. I don’t have any way of donating a bracelet, but this had better stop or he and I are going to have words.

  I am not for sale.

  The third night of the tour, the gift is a thousand dollar bottle of custom made French rose perfume. He had it flown in to the city the band is performing in, and I want to strangle him. Neither Andy nor I can find him after the show, though, because he split right after the concert.

  Troubled Kids is playing here for two nights in a row, so we’re all staying in a hotel instead of having to sleep on the bus. Zach doesn’t show back up the next day until sound check, so I don’t get to confront him. Word must have gotten to him that I’m not pleased about the perfume, because on the fourth night of the tour, Andy’s dressing room is devoid of gifts.

  In fact, the only gift he did give me on the fourth night is disappearing again after the show and preventing the bus from departing for the next city. Andy and I are both calling him and texting him constantly, but to no avail. We go to the back of the bus and find his cell phone on the nightstand next to his bed.

  I give up and call his security guard, and Cal tells me he is outside the venue talking to some fans. “Do you want me to get him fo
r you, Josie?” Cal asks.

  “No, just tell me where you are and I’ll come out and drag him to the bus.”

  As I approach the back of the concert hall, I wish I’d brought a jacket. It has started raining, but there is Zach huddled under an awning signing autographs. He is surrounded by a small group of young teenagers who are completely soaked and completely thrilled to be standing in the cold rain talking to Zach Verona.

  I was ready to march over to him and drag him on the tour bus until I saw why he is running late. I watch in awe for a while as he signs autographs, takes pictures, and hands out hugs to every single person in the group. Most stars charge several hundred dollars for this type of meet and greet session, but here is Zach doing it free. Not only that, but I’d never met a rock star with as much clout as he has who would stand in the rain for a bunch of kids.

  I notice that Cal is on the phone, and within minutes, cabs start to pull up to the back of the building. Zach puts each of the kids in a cab and pays the driver. I choke up a little watching the care and concern he is showing for his fans. The most shocking part of all of this, he’s doing it thinking no one is watching.

  There are no paparazzi present to flood the internet with images and video of this scene. The bands publicist is already in the next town and has no idea about any of this going down. He is doing it out of the kindness of his heart and stands to gain nothing except for the respect and lifelong dedication of a few kids.

  When the last of the kids is safely in a cab, Zach and Cal start back towards the bus. That’s when he spots me standing there watching him. He waves at me, and I wave back. As he gets closer, I realize I’m standing there with a huge grin plastered across my face. I wish I could make him realize that this gesture of kindness makes me happier than any material gift he could ever give me.

  “Hey Josie, sorry we’re late. Those kids waited for hours in the rain to see me, and I couldn’t just turn them away. Will we still make the next venue on time?” He says quietly.

  “I totally understand, and yes, if we get going now, we can still make it on time. It will be cutting it close, but we’ll be fine.”

  I did understand. I knew from an article about Zach that he’d waited for hours in the cold when he was thirteen to meet Axe Thrasher, and the lead singer of Burning Stalker had completely blown him and his friends off. Maybe there is hope for this guy yet. I know I shouldn’t even be considering giving in to his advances, but he is hot and he just made my heart melt.

  How am I supposed to resist that?

  Chapter Three

  Josie

  I should have known better. Giving Zach an inch landed me in a mile deep pile of hassle I can’t deal with right now. I gave in and let myself flirt with him a little, but it didn’t stop there for Zach. He’s taken the tiny bit of affection I’ve shown him and completely blown it out of proportion. Zach has started filling my schedule with tasks, and the record company has to hire another assistant to help the other members of the band because I have no time for them.

  It’s become a running joke between Andy and I about what gift I’m going to find in his dressing room before every show. So far this week I’ve gotten real Belgian chocolate imported from Belgium and shipped to our tour stop within twenty four hours of being made. Andy and I ate it, reluctantly I swear, and it’s amazing how much better chocolate is when it’s that fresh. Not that we enjoyed it, I swear.

  There was also a crystal bottle of rose bubble bath from some store I can’t pronounce and a first edition copy of Pride and Prejudice. I’m keeping the book no matter what, but the gift he left for me tonight has me seeing red.

  Andy wouldn’t even look me in the eye when I came into his dressing room to work tonight. The box of La Perla lingerie contained a bustier, panties, and a Cartier love bracelet tucked into a velvet bag.

  “You have got to be kidding.” I said to Andy and dropped the velvet pouch back into the box.

  “I think he’s pretty serious.”

  “I think he and I need to have a talk.” I say and start to leave.

  “Hey, Josie. Wait a minute. Before you go, why not take a few minutes to steady your nerves. He likes you, and he’s trying to show you that the only way he knows how.”

  “When you say steady your nerves, what you mean is calm down.” I try to keep the agitation in my voice to a minimum since it’s not Andy I’m pissed at.

  “Yeah, but I know better than to say it that way.” He says and smiles.

  “Somebody needs to explain to him that I’m not a Parisian Courtesan. He can’t buy me because I’m not for sale.”

  “He’s not trying to buy you, Josie. Zach just wants to impress you. So, try to go easy on him. Please.” Andy says as I leave his dressing room to find Zach.

  He’s in his dressing room getting ready for the show, so we only have a few minutes to talk. I have to admit that he looks incredible with his new streaks of blue accenting his dark hair and just a touch of eyeliner to give him an even badder bad boy appeal. He didn’t shave tonight, so he’s got a touch of bristly dark stubble accenting his strong jaw line.

  Focus Josie.

  I don’t know why he distracts me the way he does, but by the time he speaks, my anger is gone. He turns around in the chair and motions for me to sit down. I take the chair and move it so that I’m sitting directly across from him, cross my legs, lean over, and look him dead in the eye.

  “You have to stop.” I say calmly.

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Oh my God, Zach. You are completely unbearable sometimes. Of course I mean it, or I wouldn’t be here saying it to you.” My temper is starting to rise and I can feel a flush creeping into my cheeks.

  “Nope.” Is his answer.

  “Zach, look. I find you very attractive, and I think you’re a good person. Us being involved isn’t professional, though. I know you think you can take care of me, but I don’t want to be taken care of by my husband. I want my own career, and I want to earn my place in the industry. The record label has already had to hire another assistant because you’ve started monopolizing all of my time. I don’t mind, but I also don’t want to look incompetent.”

  “If you find me attractive and think I’m a good person, you should go on a date with me.” Zach says and smiles.

  “Zach, I like you, but we can’t…”

  Just then, his publicist bursts in without knocking to let him know that a reporter and photographer are here to do a preshow interview. He tells me we’ll finish our talk later, and then hurries out of the room.

  I don’t hold out much hope that I got through to him, but at least I told him what I think about all of his flirting and the constant gifts. When I get back to Andy’s dressing room, he’s about to head out the door for the start of the show.

  “So, did you let him down easy?”

  “I didn’t get the chance, because he was saved by a preshow interview.” I say and laugh.

  Zach

  I know that monopolizing her time isn’t the most professional thing to do, but I do like having her around. Nothing I’m having her do is particularly time consuming or difficult, but it does give me the chance to flirt with her. A couple of times she’s even let her guard down and flirted back. Yesterday I sent her out for beef jerky.

  “What kind do you want?” Josie asked and got out her phone to make a note.

  “You asking me what kind of meat you should get?”

  “Don’t even start, Verona.” She giggled and shot me the warning eye.

  “What kind of meat do you like?” I asked her unwilling to let the opportunity to tease her go.

  “I like it big and thick.” She says and winks at me.

  At first, I was so shocked that she said it that I nearly spit out the drink of Coke I’d just taken. She looked right at me and didn’t flinch.

  “Gotcha.” She says and playfully punches me on the shoulder before leaving to get the snacks.

  I like that she felt comfortable enough
around me to tell a dirty joke. Winning her over hasn’t been easy, but I think she might be starting to come around. I got aroused when she made that joke too, and I think tonight’s gift will let her know that I want her.

  It’s gotten to the point where I crave her. The way she always smells like flowers drives me wild, and I’d do just about anything for a chance to kiss her lips. Have I mentioned yet how gorgeous her lips are? They are full and soft, and the way she bites her bottom lip when she’s thinking makes her look even more beautiful.

  After the show, I’m riding high on the rush of performing. Tonight’s show felt good, and I have a ton of energy. Josie makes a couple of calls and finds out that the night manager of the hotel will close the pool to other guests so I can swim. It’s touching that she remembers how much I love the water. I would prefer the ocean, but seeing as how we are completely landlocked, I’ll take it.

  “Put on your bathing suit.” I tell her and she shoots me the you’ve got to be kidding look I’ve come to know and love.

  “First of all, I don’t have a bathing suit. Second, I’m not going swimming. Third, we still need to finish our discussion.” She says and taps her foot impatiently.

  “Well, then, let’s finish it in the pool. The hotel has a huge gift shop with an extensive array of bathing attire.”

  She breaks a smile. “Fine, I’m done with work today, but I’m buying my bathing suit. You’re not giving me any more gifts today.”

  When we get to the gift shop, I see her eyeing a powder pink bikini that would look great on her, but her expression falls when she looks at the price tag. Josie tries to hide it from me, but I caught the brief moment of disappointment in her eyes. She quickly picks up a plain black one piece that will also look great on her but isn’t the one she wants, and heads for the dressing room.

  While she’s trying on the black suit, I buy the pink one for her. When she comes out of the dressing room with the black suit in her hand, I show her the bag with the pink suit in it.