Broken Illusions (His Agenda Volume 3)

by Dori Lavelle

  “Shut up, whore. Shut the fuck up.” Another kick in my stomach made me double over and taste blood in my mouth, but still I refused to back off. I would continue until I broke him.

  I raised my gaze again. Through my blurred vision, I watched him pace the small bathroom, gripping the sides of his hair with his eyes squeezed shut.

  “I have a secret too,” I said in a voice that didn’t sound like my own. “Want to know it?”

  His eyes snapped open and he stopped moving.

  “I was pregnant. I found out on Dustin’s ranch. It was your baby. I knew then that you’d switched my pills.”

  “You liar.” He dropped to his knees and grabbed my chin, turned it upward so I was looking straight into his eyes. He was coming undone. I was getting to him, and it felt so good.

  “I’m telling the truth. The baby died before you showed up. You killed it. If I weren’t so afraid of you, maybe you would have been a father by now. Except… I’d have raised the baby with Dustin.”

  He pushed me back and got to his feet, leaned his forehead against the closed door. He spun around, dropped to his knees again, and knocked me down, my head missing the toilet this time and hitting the floor with a thud that vibrated inside my skull. My vision started to blur, and then darkness took over.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Jude

  Jude was no fool. He knew Haley didn’t love him anymore. The moment she attempted to set him on fire, it was clear. But he loved her and that was enough. He loved her and hated her at the same time. The way she hurt him and shattered their vows was unforgivable. He had to push his love for her aside and punish her for her sins. Both love and the desire for revenge had kept him alive—revenge that had eaten him up inside like hot acid. Also, the thought of Haley fucking another man drove him crazy. Haley would belong to him until death. He’d come back to remind her of that.

  As he watched her lying on the floor, a cocktail of love and hate raged through him, and he saw red. He wanted her and he hated her more than he'd ever hated anyone. Even his father. At least his father had never pretended to love him and then withdrew that love. Haley had played him from the start. Just like Lacey had. As much as it hurt him to cause her pain, she had to pay.

  He sucked in a breath through his teeth and lowered himself to her level, studying her closed eyes. With his gaze, he followed the curl of her long lashes, imagining the pool of green behind the lids that had always driven him mad with desire.

  His groin strained at the sight of her smooth skin, her full, pink lips, and the curve of her breasts. He craved her just as he had the first time he’d laid eyes on her. He wanted to fuck her even now, knocked out as she was, but he loved watching the fear in her eyes when he entered her, loved feeling her squirm beneath him.

  He reached for her throat, encircling her gentle neck with his hand. He could finish her off right now and his job would be done, but he wanted to see her fight for her life. What was revenge without pain? No, he would wait. He'd wait until she woke up and then he would finish what he'd started. For now, he had to have her, or else he would explode. The most important thing was that she was still alive. He’d felt her pulse.

  Grinding his teeth together, he ran a finger down her throat, past the hollow in her neck. He paused there a moment, wishing he could carve his infinity mark into her skin. He would, but not yet. He moved on to where the strapless dress started across her chest and pushed down the thin elastic material, all the way until her soft, round breasts were free.

  His pulse quickened and his breathing intensified as he pulled the material lower still over her flat stomach, down to her belly button. He lowered his mouth to it and flicked it with his tongue, inhaling her vanilla scent. Then he used both hands to lift her hips and thighs as he moved the dress to her knees and down her endless legs. He slid her thong over her hips.

  Satisfied, he sat down and reached into his pants. He was so ready for her.

  ***

  Jude watched Haley’s pretty, broken face fill the television screen, her wild eyes frozen with fear as he took back what belonged to him.

  He shifted in bed as he felt himself harden with longing for her yet again. Why was she being such a bitch? He had not expected her to fight this hard. He'd thought that night in the barn would be a one-time thing. He'd thought walking back into her life as if he'd just come home from work would teach her not to mess with him again.

  As he watched the video of her writhing beneath him on her kitchen floor, he gripped the bed sheet next to him with his hand, crushing the rose petals he had sprinkled on it earlier, crushing his plans for a romantic evening.

  He would leave her in the bathroom for a while. When she awoke, maybe she would come to her senses. It was up to her whether they lived through this weekend or died tonight.

  He could only imagine the headlines when the cops found the dead bodies next week. His return would shock more than Serendipity. It would shock the nation. Every newspaper would have his photo stamped across its front, like last time.

  They had called him a monster then. They had believed him to be dead, not knowing he was reading every article he could find on the serial killer that shattered the town of Serendipity. A monster. The thought made him laugh from deep in his belly. Stinking bullshit. They should have done their research. He was far from a monster. What monsters were driven by love?

  He muted the TV but kept his gaze fixed on the screen. He leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes, thinking of Lacey, his first love. His love for her was what had helped him conquer his childhood demons. It had run so deep it both healed and hurt him to the core. And when, like Haley, she had withdrawn her own love and offered it to someone else, she had ripped his heart right out of his chest.

  They had promised each other forever and he had kept his end of the bargain. He had loved her more than fuckin' Romeo had loved Juliet. And then she threw it all back in his face. He'd had no choice but to let death part them, as they had promised to each other on their wedding day.

  He was no monster. He felt pain. The moment life had left her body, he had never felt more powerful. But after a few weeks, that power had been replaced by an all-consuming pain that had swallowed him whole and pushed him into the sea of depression. The only thing that cured his grief, and numbed the pain, was Lacey’s resurrection in her sister’s body. The joy he’d felt when he found Haley, had been a drug with an everlasting effect.

  Haley had taken him by surprise. He had never anticipated that his love for her would be even deeper than what he’d felt for Lacey. There were times he wondered if he had married the wrong sister first. As his feelings for Haley increased, he knew the answer. Lacey had been his first love, but Haley was his true love.

  He was not willing to live without her. He loved her enough to follow her into the afterlife.

  He unmuted the television again. He wanted to hear the sound of himself fucking the woman he loved.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Haley

  When I opened my eyes, I saw darkness. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust. Then for me to realize I was naked. What had he done to me while I was out? Did he rape me again? I wanted to cry, but held the tears back.

  I didn’t smell him, didn’t hear him breathing, and didn’t hear any movement.

  Relief and then hope poured through me when I realized I was alone in the bathroom.

  I tried to pull my wrists apart but they were still in the cuffs. I bit my lip to hold back tears, but the thought of my sister being imprisoned and murdered by Jude caused them to break free and course down my cheeks. I pulled myself up and drew my knees to my chest, resting my outstretched arms over them. I buried my face between my arms and allowed myself to weep for my sister, for the chance I had been robbed of to say a proper goodbye to her.

  Then I thought back to a dream I’d had of her when I was at Dustin’s ranch, of her trying to communicate with me at the beach. It seemed she had tried to warn me from the grav
e. How did he kill her? Did he make her suffer first, like he enjoyed doing to me? I cried harder when I thought of the pain she must have endured at the hands of that monster.

  Then I wiped my eyes and swallowed the rest of my tears. Jude was the one who needed to be punished. I was restrained, but I still had to find a way to make him pay for what he’d done to me, and especially for what he’d done to Liz.

  I was exhausted of being under his thumb. He had hurt me in more ways than any person ever could. I refused to let him win. I was glad for this moment alone to think.

  My gaze took in the small, barred window, faint moonlight filtering in along its edges. No chance of escape through it.

  I could scream but I doubted anyone would hear me. They hadn’t heard me yet. The glass panes were too thick and most of the occupants were party animals who seemed allergic to silence. Jude had managed to sneak his way in, made himself part of that community. Besides, if I screamed, Jude would hear me. I registered the sound of the TV at low volume in the bedroom. He would be in the bathroom in an instant if he even suspected I was up to something.

  In spite of my circumstances, I couldn’t help but be proud of myself for standing up to him earlier. It saved me from sleeping next to him right now, being raped over and over through the night. I hoped his intention was to keep me locked in the bathroom all night. I doubted he would want me close after I’d lashed out.

  If only I could switch on the light to be able to search the room for anything that could protect me against him. I was positive he had removed whatever could be used as a weapon. But my self-defense instructor had taught me that almost anything could be used as a weapon if I was determined.

  An idea crossed my mind. Feeling a flicker of hope radiating heat inside my chest, I turned my head in the direction of the shower curtain.

  ***

  I was absorbed in my task of gathering any hard objects from around the bathroom when my arm came into contact with something on the basin—a bottle of lotion, maybe. It fell to the floor before I could catch it. The sound it made was loud enough for me to freeze.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid, I thought and held my breath, listening. Did he hear?

  My heart jumped to my throat as his footsteps approached the door. Damn.

  He didn’t open the door immediately. I imagined him pressing his ear to it, listening. Then I thought he started moving away again but at that moment the door burst open and the light was flicked on, blinding me temporarily.

  He found me back where he had left me, in the fetal position.

  “What the fuck are you up to?” His voice was steel-edged.

  “I wanted to use the toilet. I dropped something.”

  Jude’s gaze dropped to the place between the toilet and basin and then he pulled something from his pants. He was no longer wearing pajamas. The shiny black thing he’d pulled out and pointed at me was a gun.

  “Don’t try to mess with me, Haley. You should know by now what I’m capable of.”

  I scrambled from the floor and scooted away from him. “Don’t do this.”

  “What?” He came closer and pressed the gun to my temple. “You mean blow your brains out?” He licked his lips. “After all the shit you pulled, I’m rethinking my plan of letting you live a few more hours. I got what I came here for. I fucked you. There’s no need to wait, don’t you think?” I winced as he pressed the gun deeper into my skin.

  I closed my eyes. “I agree,” I said, my voice a broken whisper. “Go ahead. Kill me and kill yourself. I don’t give a fuck anymore. At least the world will be rid of you.” I opened my eyes.

  He was quiet for a long time and then shook his head. “No, death would be too easy. You deserve to be punished some more. I know just the thing to make you shut your damn mouth.” He left the room without switching off the light. I didn’t have time to continue with my plan because he was back within seconds, his face creased in a smile.

  My heart pounded hard as he turned on the faucet of the bathtub.

  “Don’t worry. It’s not hot. I want to play a game with you.” He reached for what looked like a bottle of bath bubbles and poured half its contents into the water. The aroma of coconut filled the air. He also poured in a whole bottle of oil he’d removed from the cupboard above the basin.

  I thought of running out and messing with his plans, but I doubted I would get far.

  I screamed and kicked as he lifted me into his arms and dropped me into the water. Pain shot through the arm I landed on.

  Then he pulled something black and coiled out of his pocket. A braided leather bull whip.

  My blood ran cold and I scrambled to my feet so I could get out of the tub, but I slipped with every move. Jude’s plan was working He wanted to flog me, and he knew I wouldn’t be able to escape with all the oil in the bath. I started bleeding inside before he even touched me.

  The whip cracked twice, first in the air, and then in contact with my wet, oily skin. The pain sliced through my flesh and spread through my whole body. It was white-hot, pure, and blinding. Points danced before my eyes, and blood rushed to my brain. I screamed.

  He lifted the whip even higher above him. This time it landed across my neck, forming a necklace of pain. An even louder scream ripped through my body, as deafening as the crack of the whip. I attempted to stand, to escape, but each move was a slip that landed me back in the foamy water. Trying to hold myself out of water was a complicated task with my hands bound together.

  “This is for cheating on me.” Jude cracked the whip in the air and then raised it again, ready for another round.

  Water, foam, snot, and tears mixed on my face as I sobbed. My back, neck, and shoulders were raw, as if they had split wide open and I sat in salt water. I wanted to beg him to stop, to plead with him to let me go. But what was the point? He wouldn’t do it. And the stubborn streak I’d found was still strong.

  The whip sliced across my shoulder next, the impact short, sharp, and intense. I slid into the water, my head being swallowed up, and then scrambled out again, sending water splashing everywhere.

  I blinked the water from my eyes and cried harder.

  “Maybe now you’ll behave. I had planned for this to be peaceful… romantic… but you had to be a bitch, didn’t you?” He tossed the whip to the side where it landed on top of the toilet. Then he removed the drain stopper from the tub. I heard a gurgle and the water began flowing out of the bath.

  I closed my eyes, wishing I could wrap my arms around me to stop myself from trembling, yearning for comfort only I could give myself.

  “Here.” He threw me a towel, but I didn’t pick it up. How did he expect me to dry myself with my wrists handcuffed?

  While he waited for me to pick up the towel, I heard something. At first I thought I was imagining it. My mind was so jumbled. But it had to have happened because Jude spun toward the door and then looked back at me, his eyes wild.

  I pulled my gaze from his and bit my lip as I watched a spot of mildew on the wall.

  The doorbell rang again, and it sounded louder this time.

  “Stay here,” he said, his voice hard. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

  He left the bathroom, locking it behind him. I doubted he would open the front door; perhaps he’d peer through the peephole to see who it was. He would be back soon to continue his torture, to kill us both.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Jude

  Jude cursed silently. Six months, and Mary Lou had not received one visitor. Not one. Now that he needed time alone with his wife, someone had showed up? He walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, where he grabbed his gun from underneath the pillow and stomped to the door. He would not be disturbed. Whoever tried would have to die.

  He had work to do. Haley had to be taught a lesson and then fucked some more before he was done with her. By the time he was finished, she would wish she’d never been born, and he would have the power she had stolen from him back in the palm of his hand. Her death would be t
he ultimate prize, his victory.

  He slowed down before he reached the door and pulled himself together, reminding himself he was not the kind of man to rush into things, to make stupid mistakes. He would see who it was before making any rash decisions.

  Gripping the pistol tight in his fist, he leaned forward and gazed into the peephole. He drew back instantly. Fuck. The cops, two of them. One was clearly visible but the other stood too far to the side of the door, with only his shoulder visible.

  Jude glanced behind him, trying to think. Why the fuck were the cops here? He had done everything right up to this point. Could someone have seen him sneak Haley into Mary Lou’s apartment? That wasn’t possible. There had been no one in the hall. Besides, he had messed with the elevators so no one could make it up to the third floor unless they took the stairs, which had a door that creaked so loud when it was opened, the whole floor heard it. He shook his head and peeped back into the hole. Someone was behind one of the cops, a woman with a white head scarf. He squinted, trying to see better, but one of the cops leaned forward and peered into the peephole as well, the curved glass giving him bug eyes.

  Jude drew back and aimed the gun at the door, then dropped his hand.

  Don’t be stupid, he told himself.

  If he kept quiet, they might think no one was inside. They would leave and possibly return later. By then it would be over. All they would find would be dead bodies. He would shoot Haley and swallow the pills himself. He had planned to give them both the deadly drug—purchased online—that killed within minutes. He knew it worked. He never left anything to chance, so he’d tested it on a homeless woman on the outskirts of Serendipity. His plan had been for him and Haley to lie in each other’s arms as they drifted into the afterlife. But it seemed she wanted it the hard way. So be it.

  He waited for a while longer, his ear pressed against the door, trying to understand the muffled voices. He heard nothing coherent. He inhaled sharply, wiped the sweat off his brow, and leaned his forehead against the door. Finally the voices muted, then faded and died. As he waited with bated breath, the voices were replaced with the harsh creaking of the door to the staircase. He waited a few beats before looking through the peephole again. When he did, it was just in time to see the heavy metal door on the far end closing shut with a loud bang. He let out a breath.