All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One

by Nicole Thorn

  “Yes!” I snapped and hung the phone up. I sank into the cold bathwater and wanted to scream.

  Now he wanted to know all my secrets. That made this so much more dangerous than before. The threat of friendship was one thing, but the real threat of him knowing what I was…that wasn’t acceptable.

  At least I was safe for the weekend. He might have somehow gotten my number, but my address was a whole different matter.

  I drained the bath water and got out. There was no use in trying to ease the tension now. But at least I had one more Hail Mary.

  After I got dressed in my jammies, I headed out to the kitchen. Mom and Hadley were watching Brom Bones as he watched a cricket. His tail was thumping against the tile like he was trying to break it.

  “Get him, Brom Cat,” my sister ordered him.

  “No,” Mom said, “Get him in three minutes. I need that dollar for the vending machine at the store.”

  The cat’s eyes were wide and they were glued to the cricket. He didn’t stand a chance and he had no clue.

  “Rest in peace, Jiminy Cricket,” I saluted the little bastard and Brom Bones descended on him.

  Mom cursed in a language I didn’t understand most of and slammed a dollar in front of Hadley. “Have it, brat.”

  “Thank you,” Hadley ran it under her nose and inhaled before shoving it in her pocket.

  Brom Bones was going to town on the cricket like it was his job and I walked over him and to the fridge. I pulled out the double chocolate cake. I threw in an extra handful of chocolate chips when Hadley was mixing the batter. I cut myself an insanely huge slice and took it back to my room so I could eat without shame.

  I turned up my music to a volume that might get the police called and started in on my cake. All was calm and peaceful.

  For five minutes.

  My phone rang and I hit the ignore button. I knew who it was and I didn’t want him to ruin my cake as well as my bath.

  But he called again.

  And again.

  And again.

  On the sixth call in a row, I picked it up. “What!?”

  “Hello to you too.”

  I groaned. “Why do you hate me?”

  I heard a dramatic gasp. “How could you think I hate you? I adore you, and your attitude.”

  “Leave the girl be,” I heard another voice in the background. It was a man, older and also English. Maybe his father. “Have you never heard of playing hard to get?”

  “Thank you, Mason,” Hale said. “But I think I’m doing just fine without your opinion.” So, not his dad.

  I heard a woman laugh. “Clearly. I’m sure that you’ll still be saying that once she’s filled out a restraining order.” That voice, was very American. So I think it was safe to assume that she wasn’t related to either of those boys.

  “Listen to them,” I said. “Let me eat my cake.”

  “Aww. Are you not naked anymore?” Hale said. Then I heard a sound like someone being hit with a pillow and then a grunt. “Rude, Mollie.”

  “So is asking a girl if she’s naked,” Mollie snapped.

  I guess he was the crazy one of his family. I could believe that, no problem.

  “This is your fault,” he said, not to me.

  “Shut up,” Mollie laughed. “I told you to make a friend, not be a weirdo.

  “Hale,” I said. “You need to listen to your family. Leave me alone, or else.”

  “God, you’re cute. Or else what? Say it slowly, would you?”

  Damn it. I didn’t have a threat. “Or else I’ll do something mean.”

  “As opposed to how sweetly you’ve been treating me? Bring it, Rory. I’m not scared of you in the least.”

  “Well you will be if you keep trying to figure me out,” I said flatly before I hung up the phone.

  

  Most of the weekend was calm after that. I got the odd text but I just ignored them. I had nothing to say and every reason to not answer them. If only that was enough to make him stop. I drowned my worries in the rest of the cake Hadley made and tried to forget about it.

  I heard my name being called by my mother and I opened my eyes. She was standing in my doorway with a mug in her hands. “Morning, love. Forget something?”

  I was groggy from sleep and I sat up. “What did I forget?” I slurred.

  She took a few steps closer and held her phone out to me. The screen was on and I stared at it for a long while. “I don’t get it,” I yawned.

  “What time is it?” she sipped on her drink. Coco, by the smell of it.

  I glanced back at her phone and the numbers said it was just past ten. “OH MY GOD!” I shot out of bed like I was on fire. Not that I would know how that felt, since I was fire proof. “I’M LATE!” I dropped the phone on the bed and went to run. But Mom caught me by the waist.

  “Hold on,” she handed me the mug, “Drink this. And breathe.”

  I did.

  “Don’t panic, you delightfully uptight little girl,” she said as she smoothed my hair down. “I’ve called the school and said you won’t be in today. What’s a single day going to do?” she shrugged.

  I calmed down as the warmth of the coco filled me up. “Okay,” I said. “I guess that’s fine.”

  Mom rolled her eyes. “The only child in the world who won’t jump for joy at getting to play hooky. If I went to school when I was your age, I would have skipped all the time.”

  The panic in me died down a little.

  When I was younger, I used to miss my alarm all the time. When I woke up I’d have panic attacks over being late to school. My teachers were nice enough to put the fear of God into us and they said if we were late then we’d get kicked out of school. That was why Hadley started waking me up. She must have skipped today due to her own sleeping in. Probably hungover.

  “I thought we could maybe watch a movie,” Mom suggested. “Little Shop Of Horrors is playing and I know you haven’t seen it.”

  I shrugged, “Okay. I’ll shower and meet you in the living room.”

  Turns out Mom is a liar. I got out to the living room and she was opening up a brand new DVD of the movie we we’re about to watch. She put it in the DVD player and hopped up on the couch.

  I didn’t know why she lied and I didn’t bother asking.

  The movie began and I quickly realized why the word ‘horrors’ was in the title.

  To say the movie was bad…wasn’t the right word. It was cheesy in a way that made my teeth grind. The only Saving Grace was Seymour. He was adorable.

  My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket without realizing what I was doing.

  Hale: Where are you?

  Me: Home. Overslept.

  I wasn’t even sure why I answered him. I’d been ignoring him for a whole day. Even not responding to the picture he’d sent of my clothes in which he was holding a bottle of bleach over them.

  Hale: You’ve abandoned me in favor of sleep? You break my heart, darling.

  Me: I didn’t do it to upset you, you girl. I would have come in if my mom didn’t rope me into watching a terrible movie.

  Hale: What might that be?

  Me: Little Shop of Horrors.

  There was a silence from him that lasted a few minutes. I expect it was because he was in class. I thought his phone might have been taken from him. But I had no doubt he could get it back.

  Mom started singing along with the movie and I giggled at her. She was unaware of me.

  Hale: I wish you all the best.

  Me: Thanks. I’ll need The Force on my side to get through this one.

  Hale: If you text me your address I can come and save you. You can make up for your abandoning me Saturday.

  Me: I didn’t abandon you. I never said I’d hang out with you.

  Hale: Your eyes made all of the promises your mouth refused to make.

  I rolled my eyes but I smiled the whole time.

  “What are you doing?” Mom asked. “Are you texting your sister? She’s in he
r room.”

  My face reddened and I felt like I was caught doing something wrong. “I’m not texting Hadley.”

  An orange eyebrow rose on her forehead. “Who then?” She shot me a sly smile.

  “No one,” I said as my phone buzzed.

  Hale: Still with me, Lamb?

  “Oh my goodness,” Mom gasped. “It’s a boy! Have you got a boyfriend?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  My eyes widened with mortification. “NO! He’s not my boyfriend. I hate him and he’s been stalking me for a week.”

  “Aww,” she kept smiling. “How cute. I was starting to wonder if you were really the daughter of The Devil. You’ve shown so little interest in boys.”

  “I’m still not interested,” I said flatly.

  My phone rang and I jumped a little. I checked the caller ID and it was Hale.

  “IS THAT HIM!? ANSWER IT!” Mom commanded me. She paused the movie.

  I tapped the answer button. “Hello? Why are you not in class right now?”

  “I’m in the hall. Family emergency, I said. And you stopped answering me back so I thought I should check on you.”

  “Oh my…” Mom whispered. “That accent…” She dipped her head back to the back of the couch. My mother wasn’t the kind to care about a voice. This was just to bug me.

  “Shut up,” I play-hit her.

  “Hello, sweetie,” Mom said into the phone after she hit speaker without my permission. “I’m Maddison, Aurora’s mother. Who are you?”

  I wanted to smash the phone against the wall.

  “Hale,” he told her. “I’m friends with Rory. Though she fights me on it.”

  I almost growled.

  “Rory?” Mom cooed. “How sweet. And I wasn’t aware she had a friend. She’s quite standoffish.”

  “Oh, I know. And if I’m her only friend…I suppose that means I’m her best friend. Huh.”

  “We’re not friends, Hale,” I said hotly. Mom flicked my ear.

  “We are,” he said and tossed the sentence away. “And, Maddison, maybe you can help me? I very much would like to spend a day with your daughter but she keeps denying me.”

  “Does she?” Mom eyed me. “Stubborn thing, my daughter.”

  I held a hand up. “Can we stop talking like I’m not in the room?”

  Mom pointed to the phone. “Why don’t you tell me why you won’t go on a date with this lovely lad?”

  “It’s not a date. And because I don’t want to.” She knew my reasoning. She just didn’t agree with it. Not surprising.

  She sighed. “Hale, just keep poking at her. Her resolve will crumble eventually. I know her too well.”

  I glared at her and fought the urge to hit her with a pillow. Now he’d never give up. Not with my mother on his side.

  “Don’t you worry,” he told her. “I have no intentions of giving up on her. Not by a long shot.”

  Chapter Six: Rumor Has It

  Hale walked into class looking…off. I’ll admit, I don’t know the boy well. But I could tell something was off. I knew if I flipped my powers on he’d be a mass of dark grey.

  He was down next to me without a word and stared down at his textbook. Even when class started and we were told to do the study guide, he stayed quiet. I started working and waited to see if he’d come to life.

  I flipped through my book and started writing down the too easy to find answers that I couldn’t care less about. Most of the stuff I just knew from memory.

  Damn it…

  I shouldn’t care. I really shouldn’t. I kept asking him to stay out of my business and here I was, wondering his. If I asked, that would be crossing the line. So I wouldn’t.

  Nope.

  Not gonna do it.

  “What’s wrong?” I said quickly and quietly.

  He looked up at me and blinked like he was just now becoming aware that he was here. “What?”

  I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “Are you okay?”

  His eyes narrowed in a non-aggressive way. “Why are you talking to me?”

  I smiled. “I often find myself wondering the same thing about you. Doesn’t answer my question.”

  “Sorry,” his tone dropped. “I just thought that…I thought you wouldn’t be talking to me. Now.”

  I still wasn’t getting it. “Why’s that?”

  “You really don’t know?”

  I threw my hands up in the air. “Jesus. If I did do you think I would be asking you? Answer the question. You spend a week bugging me then you shut down?”

  He took a few breaths and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’ve done some things in my life, Rory, that I was hoping you wouldn’t find out about. At least not until you knew me a little better. Maybe not even then,” he said the last line to himself. “I’m quite the hypocrite,” he turned his head to me, “aren’t I?” He was smiling in a heartbreaking way.

  I offered the option, “Then don’t be.”

  He looked at me with knowledge that he had and I knew I never would, “I won’t be the one to tell you. You’ll find out,” his face was grim. “But I don’t think I can handle the look in your eyes when you find out.”

  This boy…was more frustrating than I could have ever imagined. All I wanted to do since we met was get away from him. And all he’s done was try and know me. Now I was showing that some part of me cared and he was shutting me down.

  I wasn’t sure what to do. I had so little experience with human interaction and I felt like I was an outsider. I was always just watching, never a part of it, and now I was. And I was lost.

  So I said the only thing that came to mind. “I don’t care.” He looked at me with a tense expression, so I elaborated. “What you did. I don’t care. Because whatever it is, I don’t think it’ll scare me as much as my fucked up stuff would scare you.”

  He smiled again, but it was clear what he was thinking. He didn’t believe me. But he didn’t know what I knew. He didn’t know what I was. What I was made from. I was a creature of evil. Nothing he did could compare to that.

  “Lamb,” his hand reached out but he didn’t touch me. “I’ve spent so much of my life living in fear that I’m numb to it now.”

  I shook my head. “If you knew me like you keep saying you want to, you’d know that a Lamb isn’t what I am.” I’m the wolf that kills it. Worse, I’m the snake. Like my father before me, I was a serpent. There was evil in me. There had to be. I lived in terror of the day it would show itself. And who I’d take down with me.

  Hale stopped talking to me and started in on his work. The conversation was over. Both of us sure that we were the right one.

  I stared straight ahead as I tried calming myself down. I knew how this would go. Every time I let myself think of what I really was, anything past a teenage girl, it would hurt. I tried my best to ignore it. But how could I? It was in my DNA to be evil. I was even attracted to it. Any hope of forgetting what I was vanishes as soon as my real vision breaks through.

  I looked at the boy next to me and something changed. Maybe it was the look on his face, or his posture. Something radiating innocence lost and misery. But I knew what I was doing was the right thing. Trying to keep him away. I’d just had the reason wrong before. I was doing it for me, to keep myself safe. But it was him I should have been worried about. I didn’t want my darkness mixing with his, making him something else.

  He thought he was bad. I’d only make that worse.

  The bell rang and Hale bolted before I even stood up. I slowly walked out, feeling an odd sense of abandonment.

  I got in line and waited as it slowly passed. It was pizza day, so there was that… Surely that would erase the feeling of shame and worry I had swimming around in my head.

  I got my tray and loaded on all the stuff I was paying for but still not sure I’d eat. I looked around and didn’t know why until the disappointment set in. Hale was nowhere to be seen. Whatever happened to him today, it made him want to hide.

  So I guess I was back to eating
alone. In theory, I should be happy. I got what I wanted. He didn’t want to talk to me anymore. So then why do I feel so awful about it? It felt more like a forfeit than a victory.

  I made my way to the empty corner of the room so I could return to my life of solitude. It was better this way. Really it was. A friend was never in the cards for me.

  When I got to my usual table, I finally looked up from the floor. I set my tray down next to the carton of chocolate milk. I picked it up and read what was scrawled on the side in marker. For my Lamb.

  That was it. All it said. But it didn’t need to say more.

  I looked around and still couldn’t spot Hale anywhere. But he’d been here. If only to leave the milk for me.

  My stomach dropped.

  I sat down and started eating, going for the carton Hale left me before I went to drink my own.

  After lunch was over—for me, since I left early—I headed to art class. Hale was sitting at the table in the very back of the room and he was painting something. Our teacher wasn’t even in the room yet.

  I watched him for a little longer than was normal. His eyes looked…content. Whatever he was painting seemed to be bringing him peace. And I was about to disturb it. Because I couldn’t leave well enough alone.

  I walked over to the table and sat down, setting my backpack on the floor. Hale didn’t acknowledge that I was next to him and I wasn’t sure if he knew I was there.

  I tried, I really did, to not talk to him. To let him work out his issues on his own and leave him be. But he bought me milk and if that wasn’t a cry for help I wasn’t sure what was.

  “Tell me,” was all I said. His eyes remained on his painting and I wasn’t sure he heard me.

  “You managed to get through lunch without finding out?” he spoke with no emotion.

  “No. I didn’t hear this mystery rumor,” I said sounding exasperated. “I want you to tell me. I don’t know how to communicate with you that nothing you’ve done that you think is bad, could possible have any affect on what I think of you.”

  He looked up then. His eyes searched mine as he considered me. “I think you were right.”

  The sentence caught me off guard. “About?”