by Nicole Thorn
Everyone stared but no one asked what they wanted to ask me. Good for them, because I wasn’t in a kind mood.
I got to Gym and I almost just went home. Being here alone, on this day, was just too hard for me. My brain was going crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong with Hale. Everything was amazing. Then it wasn’t.
I spoke with Jenna and she had no clue what happened with the coyote. But word got to the faculty and they were all aware of what was as close to the real story as they could get.
Then I was told there was nothing to be done. But again, I couldn’t gather the will to give a damn about it. I felt drained of everything inside of me. And there was just no fixing it.
But hey, at least I got a new locker.
The next morning I wasn’t surprised when I woke up in bed without Hale. But that didn’t keep it from being painful. I checked my phone and there wasn’t a single text on it. No missed calls. Nothing at all.
I was starting to wonder if the boy was ever real. Or if he was just in my head. Maybe the years of being alone drove me crazy and he was just a really vivid hallucination. A wonderful one that used to make me feel like I had never felt before. One that made me not hate what I was as much, be cause he liked me for everything he saw me to be.
The thought changed when Hadley asked again why he wasn’t picking me up.
“He’s not in school today,” I lied to her. “So I’m on my own.”
“Aw,” she frowned. “Is he sick?”
I shrugged and left for Hell. Again, it was empty from all souls but mine. I wondered where The Sage was and if he was alright. Maybe he was just busy or something. I was curious where else he went when he wasn’t here. Maybe he was being someone else’s sage.
When I walked past the parking lot, my heart picked up when I saw Hale’s truck in its normal spot. I checked to see if he was in it but he was long gone. But at least he was here today. I could ask him what the Hell happened.
I was antsy through all of my first classes. Then when it was time for History. I felt like throwing up the whole walk over. I was nearly shaking with fear. I wasn’t sure how to do what I had to do. I’d never been kissing a boy just to have him take off like that.
What if he said it was my fault? How was I supposed to handle that? I guess I was about to find out.
Or not.
I sat at our table watching the door. Only he never showed up for class. But I knew he was here. He was just avoiding me. What else could it be? I was right. It was something I did, not him.
I wasn’t surprised when he was missing from lunch and Art too. When I got to Gym I finally asked Jenna for her help.
“He’s been gone two days and he won’t answer when I call him or text,” I said while the rest of the kids ran laps. “I don’t know what to do.”
She put her hand on her hip. “I wasn’t informed that he wouldn’t be in today, or yesterday. So he’s not excused. He’s not sick. Can you think of a reason he’d want to ditch? You’d know better than anyone. He’s your best friend after all.”
My forehead creased. “Maybe not.”
She looked confused. “Why not? You guys are attached at the hip.”
“We kissed,” I confessed and her mouth dropped open. “A bunch. Then he just took off with no explanation at all.”
Her joy drained. “In the middle of it?”
I nodded.
“Oh… That’s weird. Are you okay?” her face turned sympathetic.
“What do you think? My first kiss ever ended with the guy taking off and going into hiding. I’m not feeling great.”
She hugged me. “There has to be an explanation. He’s crazy about you.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I thought that too. But I guess I was wrong.”
She was kind enough to let me go home. She marked that I was there for the whole class, so I wouldn’t get in trouble.
I went to the parking lot and almost sprinted towards my hiding spot. But I stopped dead when I saw Hale sitting in his truck. He didn’t see me. He was just staring at the steering wheel in front of him. His hands gripped it tightly even though the truck wasn’t on.
I knocked on the back window and he jumped a little at the sound. He looked at his back mirror and spotted me. I offered a neutral look but he frowned at me.
He opened his car door and slammed it when he got out. For a second or two I was properly scared. But this was Hale. He would never hurt me.
“Hi,” I tried to smile at him. “I missed you these last couple days.”
His face remained like stone. “Yeah I know. I got all your messages.”
“Oh. Why weren’t you in class?”
He crossed his arms. “Because I didn’t feel like going.”
Everything about this was wrong. He was being cold in a way I’ve never seen from him before.
I stared down at my fingernails and started picking at my nails. “Did—did I do something wrong?”
“Other than be annoyingly clingy?”
That felt like a slap right across my face. “What are you—”
“One or two calls I’d get. Five is stalker level. But I guess that’s not your fault,” he said, almost mockingly. “You’re such a shut in that you wouldn’t know the first thing about how normal people act. Let me just fill you in,” he took a step closer. “Just because someone gets bored and kisses you, doesn’t mean they want you bothering them all of the time.”
I was frozen in shock. I couldn’t understand how the boy that I’d known, was the one in front of me and not just someone that looked like him.
“Bored?” I said, not even a whisper. “But I thought that we…I thought we were,” going to be together. When he kissed me I forgot all about what I was scared of. And I was willing to take the pain, because I thought Mom was right. I was finally able to understand what she meant.
For just a split second, his face was different. Something snapped and I could see the boy I used to know. But then, quicker than it came, it was gone. And I was left with this person I’d never met before.
“Well,” he laughed. “That’s almost cute. If it weren’t a little creepy. But no. We’re not anything.”
I was at the point where my shock was about to turn to anger. The best I could do was hold on for a little while longer. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. We were fine. What the Hell happened between your little speech about how much you wanted me then you crawling on top of me, and when you ran out of the room?”
“I came to my senses. That’s what happened. Maybe I’d rather have a girl that isn’t so nauseatingly insecure. It gets old pretty quick.”
Then everything snapped. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that to me? After you promised you’d never leave me.” Clearly that was just garbage. Everything he ever said to me was a lie. That was what he was telling me now.
He just shrugged.
No. This was so wrong for him. I just wish I knew what was happening.
“You were right,” he said after a few quiet moments.
“About what?” I nearly growled.
He swallowed and it looked like he was trying to gather the courage to say what he needed to. “I don’t want you.”
He might as well have stabbed me in the heart. It was gone now anyway. It dissolved inside of me. All I had left was anger and embarrassment.
“You’re a real bastard. You know that?”
He nodded and his face was emotionless. “I do know that.”
I scoffed. “Wow. I’m a real fucking moron,” I scratched the side of my head. I looked him right in the eye and said something that I regretted the second it was too late to fix it. “Well, enjoy being all alone, Psycho.” And I walked past him and into the woods.
When I was out of sight, I went to Hell. The scent of dust and sulfur surrounded me and I tried to clear my head. That couldn’t have just happened. It wasn’t real. This was all just a nightmare. And when I woke up, Hale would be in
my bed waiting for me so he could take me to school.
I turned to see The Sage sitting on his bench.
“Well,” he smiled. “It’s been a long time. I was starting to really miss our chats. What brings you by?”
That was all it took for me to break down into tears. The next second, I was on the bench and not sure how I got there. The sobs blinded me and hurt my chest. I hadn’t cried like that since my dad died.
I felt The Sage pat my back. “There, there, Aurora. No need to cry.”
“I…can’t…make it…stop…” I sobbed and struggled to breathe.
I could see the man but barely. He looked as lost as a person could be, with an edge of anger and worry. “That boy did this,” he said it like he knew. Because he did.
I nodded. “I don’t know what I did wrong. He was…he was different.”
The Sage rubbed my back and said, “You did nothing. And the boy deserved far worse than what you said to him. I don’t give a damn about his reasoning.”
The choking sobs stopped and the tears began to slow. Still they poured. “Do you know why this happened? Can you tell me?”
He shook his head. “I’m not supposed to meddle in topside business. I’m sorry.” He stood up. “But, I can do one thing.”
“What?”
He straightened his tattered clothes. “I’m going to kill him for you.”
My eyes nearly bugged out of my head. “NO!” I waved my arms around. “Please don’t hurt him!”
He huffed. “But he hurt you. And I don’t like when people hurt what’s mine.”
I dismissed that. “Please?”
He inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Can I at least scare him a little? Maybe over turn that ugly truck of his,” he smiled.
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
He waved his hand. “You’re no fun.”
I settled down in my seat and The Sage returned to me. “I just don’t understand what happened. He was fine. Sweet. Then everything got turned around.”
“I wish I could ease your pain. It brings me no joy to deny you,” he said sincerely.
I nodded. “It’s okay. I guess this is just who he is. I should have read that damn file. Now I’ll never know what he was hiding from me.”
His eyebrow went up. “Would you really undo it? You’d read the file?”
I shrugged and in the next moment, a file was in his hands. Matching what Hale’s looked like. He handed it to me and I took it.
“It’s your choice now,” he said. “You owe the boy nothing. Read it if you want to.”
My hand touched the front and I though about it. Every answer I wanted was in there. I could know it all in mere seconds.
But I had no right.
“I can’t,” I decided.
The Sage smiled. “No. I didn’t think you would.” He gestured to the file. “Open it.”
I looked at him with confusion. “But—”
“Just do it.”
I did. And I laughed at what I saw. It was stacks upon stacks of coupons for free cookies with the purchase of a sandwich at a place I’d never heard of.
“It’s in Kansas,” he said.
“Ah,” I laughed again.
The file vanished from my hands.
I went home after that. I didn’t speak to my family; instead I went to my room and laid in bed. The bed that I had my happiest moment on. Right up until something snapped and Hale left me. If I closed my eyes I could still feel his lips against mine. Soft and strong at the same time. Eager but gentle with me.
I changed from my gym clothes and into more comfy ones. Then I switched on the TV and hoped to find something mind numbing. When I did, I left it on. After a while, the show started making me feel a little better. The jokes were silly, but I gotta hand it to the Golden Girls. Those ladies were funny.
Mom and Hadley went out to dinner and tried to get me to go. When I said I’d rather stay home, Mom gave me money for pizza and hugged me goodbye.
Then I was left in quiet agony.
Chapter Sixteen: Taking Over Me
The weekend came and went and I wasn’t feeling any better about Hale. I kept waiting for a phone call or for him to show up and say that an alien stole his body and made him say all of those things. But no such luck.
I didn’t tell my family about what happened. I was too embarrassed. So I just decided to start leaving before they could ask why Hale wasn’t here.
Things would get back to normal soon and I’d forget all about the boy I thought I might have feelings for. I’d go back to having my talks with The Sage, and having quiet days at school. And I would be fine.
I would be fine.
I would be fine.
I got to school and started my old life again.
I was terrified to step into History, but I did it anyway. I didn’t look at Hale when I sat down. I just took out my iPod and started working on my project.
Then I lost interest in it. I started doodling instead. Nothing fancy. I sketched Darwin. He was alone in the middle of the bus stop. It was oddly eerie for a sketch.
“Well,” Mr. Dixon said, leaning over to see. “That is…interesting. Why is he so fat?”
I laughed. “Um, I didn’t ask. I imagine he just eats a lot. The man who…owns him, I guess, feeds him seeds.” Hale glanced over but I ignored him.
“Is he real?” the teacher asked.
“Yeah. I see him on the way home from school. He’s always there. Since around New Years. Kinda weird but I tend to not ask questions when it comes to the man who owns him.”
As I talked, I was hyperaware of Hale. Like he was just in my head always.
“Ah. I don’t suppose I could keep that?”
I smiled and tore the page out of my notebook so I could hand it to him. He thanked me and went to check on everyone else.
I set my pen down and scrolled through my music, trying to pick an album that might entertain me. I landed on something that I hoped would work and got back to the project.
There wasn’t much left to do. I worked a lot over the weekend since I had nothing else to do. I still had to construct the boat and all the little people. But I was making them out of paper. I started drawing the little people that I would later color and cut out for my ship.
“Okay,” Mr. Dixon laughed on his next sweep. “What are you doing now, Miss Flynn?”
I looked up at him. “Making the people for the visual.”
“Ah.” He looked to Hale with a frown. “And what are you doing?”
He stared at the table and spoke in an even voice. “Sitting here.”
“And leaving Aurora with all of the work. Well if you don’t help her, I’ll fail you. And you’ll fail the class. If you want to graduate, you better start working.” He left and I started working again.
When I was on the last person, Hale spoke. “What do I have to do?” he sounded annoyed.
I was so surprised that he was talking to me that I almost didn’t respond. But I was still mad at him. So I wasn’t nice. “Nothing. Just sit there.”
He sighed. “Just tell me what to do.”
“Why don’t you go to Hell?” I smiled.
His eyes went to my lips and I wondered briefly if he was still counting. “Wouldn’t want to run into you there.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and spoke flatly. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll be on the side with the castles. The rest of you get the other side.”
He shook his head. “You’re a strange girl.”
“And you’re a dick,” I turned back to my work.
I heard him breath out, loudly. “Rory,” his hand went to my back. Right where the ridges were. I knew he felt them and I flinched back.
“Don’t ever touch me again,” I said after I slid away from him. All I could think was, what did he feel. What did he think was wrong with me?
I heard a laugh from behind me. Kenna. Of course. “Aww. Lovers spat?”
I turned to stare her down. �
��Shut the Hell up before I snap your arm in half.”
She smiled. “I honestly feel so bad for you,” she lied. “I just hate when my Psycho boyfriend and I start fighting. Oh, wait…I’m not stupid enough to start screwing the town Psycho like you are.”
“No,” I returned her smile. “You just screw everyone else.”
She looked unphased. “So has Psycho left you any more dead presents?”
Mr. Dixon came around as she was speaking. “Give it a rest, Kenna. You entertain no one but yourself.”
“That’s the goal,” she said to him.
He rolled his eyes and muttered, “God help the man you marry.”
I snickered. “If she finds someone stupid enough to do that.”
Mr. Dixon covered up his laugh with a cough and went back to his desk.
I wasn’t in the mood for more work, so I packed up early. Class was about to be over anyway. I put my headphones in and when the bell rang, I left the room.
It was strange, eating alone again. I took my seat and I watched—as subtly as I could—as Hale looked around for a place to sit. Because God knows he wasn’t coming here.
“Hale?” I heard a voice call to him. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it. When I looked up I found the source. Dottie. “Come sit with me,” she offered. And he did.
They were only three tables down from me and I didn’t even need to use my extra hearing to listen to them. I tried not to, but I couldn’t escape her giggles.
I looked up at them, just for a second. But it was enough to see her put her hand on his. He didn’t move it or flinch. He just kept talking to her. Smiling and laughing with her. Because he wasn’t upset, he wasn’t hurt. That was just me. He was fine and I was broken.
So I stood up with my tray in my hand. When I pushed my chair in I heard Dottie say, “Oh, hey Aurora. You leaving?”
I looked up at her and the smile on her face was nothing less than genuine. But I couldn’t muster up the will to match it. “Yeah. I’ve got stuff to do.”
