All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One

by Nicole Thorn

  To my Lamb,

  I didn’t want to wake you but I couldn’t bear to leave you all alone in the dark. Mason called me home and I had to go. But know that I left my heart with you. It isn’t much, but it’s everything I have. And it’s yours. I know that now. You are my heart.

  I meant to give this to you before, but I kept losing my nerve. So I decided to just let you find it.

  Love, Hale.

  I folded up the note and looked for a place to put it. I stuck it in the pages of a book and set it on my bookshelf.

  Then I went for the little box. I flipped it open and there was another note. All it said was ‘The necklace is old but the inscription is new’.

  The necklace was a locket. Silver and flat. The face had a symbol on it. Two hands holding a heart with a crown above it. The heart that the hands were holding was made from a sapphire and the crown had diamonds in it. The locket had both of our birthstones.

  I opened the locket and read what was inside. I look at you and I’m home. It was engraved across the two sides of the locket. The surface was flat and not meant for pictures. The back said With love, H.

  My hands almost started shaking when I realized what it was. It was his mother’s. And he gave it to me.

  I sat on my bed and stared at the little piece of silver, trying to fathom just what this means. This was the thing that meant the most to Hale. The only thing he had from his mother.

  I wanted to call him. To try and explain what this meant to me. But I couldn’t do something like that over the phone. Not something as personal as this. I just hoped that he wouldn’t take my silence tonight as something bad.

  The clock said it was midnight. He was probably asleep by now anyway. It could wait until the morning.

  I slipped the necklace on and wandered out of my room. The house was pitch black except for one dim light coming from the kitchen. I followed it.

  Mom was sitting at the kitchen table in her nightgown. She was picking at a carton of cookie dough ice cream. Her face was heartbreaking.

  “Mom?” I approached the table.

  “Oh,” she looked startled. “I didn’t know you were awake. Hale left a few hours ago. He said that you fell asleep. What’s that?” she pointed to my necklace.

  My hand went to the pendant. “Hale left it for me.” I sat across from Mom. “It was his mother’s.”

  She offered a weak smile. “That’s sweet of him to give that to you. I can only imagine how much it meant for him to give it to you. It lives up to the symbol on it.”

  I looked down. “How so?”

  “Do you know what that means?”

  I shook my head.

  “It’s a Claddagh. It’s an old Irish symbol for loyalty, friendship, and love.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. But I needed to talk to someone. I needed to not be alone with this knowledge in my head. “I’m in love with him. Every second when I’m not with him is an empty one. I didn’t realize how lonely I was until I met him.”

  Everyone but me had it right. I knew that now. My life didn’t mean much before. I just didn’t know yet. Now I was awake and I could see things with perfect clarity.

  “Are you okay?”

  “No. I have no clue what to do now. I’m in love with someone that’s dying. Every second he gets closer and closer and I can’t stop it. I’m going to lose him. It might be a hundred years from now or it might be in a week. It doesn’t matter because no matter what, it’s going to happen. He can be taken away so easily and I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive that.”

  The woman I was talking to knew more about this than anyone I knew. She was the only one who knew what I was feeling.

  She reached her hand across the table and held mine tightly. “Aurora, people die. They get old, or they get sick, or they get hurt. It’s the only thing in life that you can’t fix. That you can’t undo or stop. In the end, death takes us all. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what you do with the time you’re given.”

  “How do you do it? How do you fall in love again and again? How do you live after they stop?”

  She let go of me and slid the ice cream over to me, then handed me the spoon. I started eating and she started talking. “That very first time I fell in love, I was only twenty-two. A baby. It felt all consuming and forever. When it ended,” her eyes became glassy, “I wasn’t sure that I would move past it. But a day passed. And another. A week, a month, a century. Time goes on and wounds heal.”

  “Did it feel like you’d ever love again?”

  She stared down at her hands and looked guilty. “Not at first. But I did.”

  “Do you think you’ll get married again?”

  The guilt grew. “I’m sure I will. Some people can love many times in their life. Some only once. I’m the former. It’s just who I am.”

  I scraped the ice cream with the spoon. “What about me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  My eyes went up to hers. “Do you think I’ll love again? Once he’s gone.”

  She swallowed and her face was grim. “Only time will tell.”

  “No. You know me. You know who I am and how I am. How I feel about things. Take what you know about me and tell me if you think I’ll love again.”

  “Aurora…”

  “Please. Tell me, because I don’t know,” my voice broke. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. And it’s terrifying. What do you think is going to happen to me once he dies? Do you believe I’m someone who can love again? Who can survive him?”

  She pressed her lips together in a hard line. “It’s late, Aurora. I think you need to go to bed.”

  “Please, Mom… I need to know.”

  “No. We’re not having this conversation.”

  There was my answer.

  I stood up and did as she told me.

  

  When I woke up again, Hale wasn’t in my bed. Instead he chose to wait for me by my bookshelf. He was reading one of my books while he sat on the floor.

  I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. “Morning.”

  He looked up at me and smiled. “Good morning.” He stood up and put the book away before he joined me on my bed. Like all of the sudden he needs my approval first.

  He leaned over and wrapped his finger around the chain on my neck. “I see you got my note.”

  “I did. I really love the necklace. Is this the one your mom gave you?” I was hoping he’d say no.

  “It is.”

  “Why in the world would you give this to me?”

  He opened the locket and stared at the text inside of it before his eyes met mine.

  Oh. That was why.

  “Thank you,” I said as he placed the locket back down.

  I showered and changed for school, picking out a pair of pants and a sweater since it was a little chilly. Hale didn’t approve of my choice of clothes.

  “You’re covering most of what I like to spend my time staring at,” he explained on the way to his truck.

  “I’m sorry but I don’t feel like being cold all day. Also, if you keep insisting that we stop fooling around, maybe you oughta stop thinking of me in that way.”

  He opened my side of the truck for me. His eyebrow was arched when he said, “And how am I supposed to do that?”

  I shrugged and got inside. When he was in his seat I said, “We need to try and think of each other as friends as opposed to people we want to hop on the lap of and see if the driver’s seat of a truck has enough room to—” I blinked and realized what I was saying.

  Hale’s face was both blank and focused. “You can keep talking.”

  “Not a good idea.”

  He started the truck and as he pulled out of my driveway he said, “I bet we could work with the room.”

  I laughed but didn’t comment. Instead, I spent the car ride thinking about what to do with the little room we had.

  When we got to History it was project day. I turned our stuff in and I j
ust knew Mr. Dixon was fully aware that Hale didn’t to a bit of work on this. But he decided that if I didn’t care, then he didn’t either. So my non-boyfriend/boyfriend would pass high school.

  “Congratulations,” I said to Hale as I sat back down at our table. “You’re going to graduate and you didn’t even need to have sex with any of your teachers.”

  “Good. I’d hate to do that again.” When I narrowed my eyes he said, “I was only kidding. I’ve never slept with a teacher. I swear.”

  Better not have…

  The groups took turns presenting their projects and when it came to Hale and I, again I did all of the work. He just had to stand there and look pretty. And he did a very good job.

  We walked to lunch and Hale decided that he didn’t like a look I got from one of the boys in the hall. I didn’t notice but Hale said that it was rude and demeaning. So, of course, he needed to let everyone know that even though I wasn’t his, I was his. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him for the whole walk.

  It was soup day and I wasn’t very pleased about it. Three bucks for eight ounces of chicken noodle soup? Come on. But I was left without a choice, so I paid and we went to find Dottie. Yay.

  She was already at the table when we got there. She was staring into her soup as she stirred it, trying to cool it down.

  “Hey, guys,” she greeted us. “How’d the project go?”

  “Well,” Hale told her. “I think Rory did a lovely job.”

  I opened my milk as Hale put his in front of me. “Thank you. At least we’ll both get a good grade.”

  “Cool,” Dottie smiled. “Are you thinking about colleges? I bet your mom can send you anywhere you want to go.”

  “I’m not the college type. I’d rather stay with my family.”

  “You don’t want to get out of this town? You’ve lived here your whole life. Maybe change can do you some good.”

  Hale tensed. “Let’s maybe not encourage Rory to leave town. She might actually go.”

  “Maybe she should.”

  Hale and I both looked at her, trying to figure out why she was saying this. Maybe I was reading too much into it.

  “Well, I’m not,” I said confidentially. “I like living here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  Hale put his hand on my knee under the table. “Good. Because I’d only have to follow you.”

  “Dorothy,” I heard from a deep voice. We all turned to see a man. He was short for an adult man. Under six feet. He was in dress pants and a white button up with a grey vest over it. He looked enough like Dottie that I assumed they were related. His hair was much darker than hers while still able to be considered blonde.

  “Hey, Dad,” she said, almost hesitantly. “What are you doing in here? I thought you already had lunch.”

  “I did. But my Econ class ended and I thought I should come and see you today. Are these your friends?” he smiled at us.

  “Yeah. Hale and Aurora,” she gestured to us with no enthusiasm at all.

  “Nice to meet you two. Dorothy,” his eyes went to his daughter. “I think we need to have a talk.”

  She shrank down into her seat. “Why?”

  He shot her an annoyed look. “I think you know. Come with me. Now.”

  “Dad—”

  He leaned over on the table and rested his hand on the surface. Hale and I both had our eyes on Dottie as we watched what was happening. “We need to have a talk. Come with me.”

  “No. We can talk later. I’m eating.”

  I was sure this would turn into something scary, but the man just stood up from the table. He took a deep breath. “Fine then. But I think you’ll wish you’d listened to me.” He walked away and Dottie was nearly shaking.

  “What the fuck was that?” I asked. I guess my filter was broken.

  Rude as my comment was, she answered. “My dad is a bit…strict. When I do something he doesn’t like, he gets a little uptight.”

  “And what did you do that made him so angry?” Hale asked, more tentative than I had been.

  She shrugged and stirred her soup. “Could be anything.”

  “Really?” I snorted. “Cuz it kinda sounded like you knew.”

  She glared at me. “Can we just eat now?”

  “Dot—”

  “I’m not talking about this anymore. Just eat your soup. Both of you.”

  As uncomfortable as it now was, we started eating our lunch. Dottie didn’t say a word for the rest of the meal and Hale decided that he would follow suit. I was left to do the same.

  I was a little worried about Hale. A harsh father might bring up some painful memories for him. But at least I could help him now. If he was willing to let me know when he was hurting. I think he would at this point. I knew now with no doubt that I was important to him. Any acts of anger or coldness wouldn’t be intentional.

  Hale and I started walking to Art and I warned him not to start another paint fight or he’d be doing my laundry for a week.

  “I’ll take any excuse to get to rummage through your underwear drawers, Rory.”

  I shoved him and he stumbled to right himself.

  “You alright?” I laughed.

  He grabbed onto me for balance. “Yes,” he smiled. “I feel really, really fine.”

  We strode into Art and he took his seat next to mine. It had to do the same thing as we did Monday. Only now with warm colors. And we could paint what we wanted.

  I started painting a desert. Not the one in Hell, since I knew that the teacher got freaked out when I started talking about Hell. So it was just a boring ol’ desert. I had to make the cactus orange but I worked with what I had.

  The desert was coming along just fine but I got distracted when I saw Mrs. Lore walking around the room with tiny bottles of paint. She was dripping it along the white tile floor, leaving colorful streaks along the way. The colors she mixed together looked pretty. Lots of blues with purples and pinks. It brightened the whole room.

  “So I take it you enjoyed the redecorations?” I asked when she got around to me.

  She looked up and smiled. “Yes. I think this place needed a splash of color.” She continued on her efforts to bathe the room in color.

  When she circled again she looked at my and Hale’s paintings. “Mr. Wyatt, dear, what on Earth are you doing?”

  I looked over and saw a mostly white canvas. He however…was not clean of paint.

  “Hale?” I said.

  He looked down at himself. His hands were red along with his once light blue sweater. It looked like he just dipped his hands in a paint can. When he was done looking, he burst into laugher. “Look, look at that.”

  I could feel my face twist into a confused mess. “I can see, sweetheart. Now, ya wanna tell me why you decided to paint yourself?”

  He turned to me and squinted his eyes. “I’m n-not sure. I just really wanted to feel the paint.”

  “Okay then,” Mrs. Lore walked away and I was left with Hale.

  I looked into his eyes and his pupils were huge. But it couldn’t be because of—“Hale, are you high right now?”

  His mouth dropped open. “I haven’t done that since…since…I don’t know. But I wasn’t here. I was there. I was in that other place. The loud one.”

  “New Orleans?”

  He smiled wide and shook my shoulders. “That’s it!”

  He was in the middle of his celebration when his eyes rolled back in his head. He started to fall but I caught him before he could. I sat him at the table.

  For just a few seconds I turned my powers on. His aura was bright red and yellow. He was in a state of pure euphoria.

  “Rory,” he said my name quietly. “I promise I didn’t. But it feels…” he closed his eyes and they didn’t open again.

  Chapter Twenty-Two: Fault

  I needed to get him out of here. And I needed no one to catch on. Whatever he was on, no one could know. If a teacher saw him and reported it, he could get expelled.

  I shut m
y eyes and focused projecting my energy out and around Hale and I. As long as I stayed relatively quiet, I can go unseen in a crowd. I liked to compare it to the Chameleon Circuit on the TARDIS from Doctor Who. If you knew to look, you might be able to see it. Otherwise, it just blends into the background.

  I wrapped Hale’s arm around me and mine around his waist. When I had a good hold on him, I took our backpacks and started walking out of the room. Not a soul noticed.

  When we got to Hale’s truck he said, “Wh-where are we going?”

  “My house. Something happened to you and we can’t be here right now. Okay?”

  “Okay,” he smiled.

  I dug into his pocket for his keys and he perked up. “A little to the left, please.”

  “Shut up,” I sighed.

  “Almost…”

  I grabbed the keys and shoved him into the passenger seat and buckled him up, despite the fact that he was trying to stop me. He kept trying to grab my hands and pull me to him.

  “Hale, quit it. I need to get you home and in bed.”

  He grinned and yanked me over to him. He had one hand on the back of my head and the other moved up and down my back while his face went to my neck. “Mmm, I think that sounds good.”

  “No,” I pulled myself away. “I meant to sleep. You’re high out of your mind and you need to sleep it off.”

  I closed his door and got into the drivers seat. Then I started the car and headed for home.

  “Rory, I can’t be high. I didn’t take anything. I told you…that I just don’t do that anymore.” He blinked unevenly. “I’ve been a good boy since I found you.”

  I believed him that he didn’t take anything. But that didn’t change the fact that he was on something.

  He mumbled almost incoherently on the drive home. I just let him talk and nodded once in a while. He probably wasn’t saying anything important. Everything that I could actually understand was highly inappropriate.

  I got him home and into the house with little trouble. But Mom and Hadley were in the living room.

  Hadley jumped off of the couch. “What the Hell is going on?”

  “Is he okay?” Mom asked.