Up to You

by Daisy Prescott

  “Aye, chihuahua!” I scream when my foot slips and the water splashes up to my crotch. “It’s freezing!”

  Aiden appears beside me, his warm hand on my elbow. With a chuckle and a slight tone of sarcasm, he tells me, “It’s snow runoff, you know.”

  If he weren’t a giant mountain of a man, I’d attempt to shove him into the river and see how much his delicate balls like the frigid temperature. He’d probably scream like a tiny baby. Instead, I allow him to help me navigate the few steps to dry land.

  Without shame, I flop on the sun-warmed rocks and lie back, gratefully scraping my hands over the rocks and gritty sand. A shadow blocks my sun for a second before I feel someone sit next to me. Peeling one eye open, I tip my head to spot Zoe beside me.

  “That was crazy. I feel like someone’s pumped me full of caffeine and sugar, and then sent me on the craziest log ride slash rollercoaster ever.” All of her teeth flash with her wide grin. “I can’t wait to hit more rapids.”

  “You’re high on the adrenaline.” I poke her shoulder with my index finger.

  “I am. We should go skydiving after this. Or maybe parasailing. This is more fun than skiing.”

  I wish I could agree with her. Nothing will ever come close to the joy of skiing or boarding in fresh powder on a crystalline blue day.

  Down the sandbar, Steve finishes setting up lunch from the coolers in the supply raft. Sandwiches, individual salads, and cookies are laid out on a folding table next to another cooler filled with beverages, including mini boxes of wine and cans of prosecco.

  Not wanting to miss out on food, I hoist myself up and brush sand from my backside. I strip off my life vest and peel it open so it can dry in the sun while we eat. I’m soaked through except for a small area on my breasts and a patch on my back where the vest pressed against my skin.

  The rest of the group appears as soggy and half-drowned as I do, with the exception of the bride and the guys.

  Impressively, Twyla’s managed to keep her tiara attached to her helmet through the class two and three rapids. Unlike me, she doesn’t resemble a drowned cat. I’m guessing because I’m not vain enough to pull out a mirror and check on the state of horror.

  Aiden dumps his vest on the sand and stands in all his naked chest glory for a brief, shining moment. I was right about the muscles. He’s all lean strength. The man has zero body fat. If we were stranded out here for weeks, I could use his abs as an actual washboard to clean our clothes. Sadly, he pulls on his T-shirt from the dry pack in the supply raft. Sad for me. Not him. It would be unwise for him to remain shirtless around a pack of horny women. Smart guy.

  Hungry from the morning’s adrenaline rush, I join the line for lunch. Food and a can of prosecco in hand, I find a spot next to Zoe in the half-formed circle. Funny how years after elementary school, we still gravitate to sitting in circles when gathered together.

  Aiden drops down on the rocks to my left. He’s only drinking water and I wonder if it’s because he’s working or in recovery. Would be rude to ask.

  “How are you enjoying the day so far?” he asks the group, but I get the feeling he’s really asking me.

  Most of the women reply with answers about it being the biggest rush, a thrilling, exciting rollercoaster.

  “Better than the best sex I’ve ever had,” Twyla declares.

  I nearly choke on my sandwich.

  Aiden’s shoulders shake with amusement.

  “Have you heard that one before?” I whisper to him.

  Keeping a smile on his face, he shakes his head no.

  Zoe snorts. “You like sex that’s cold, wet, and involves a lot of thrashing around?”

  “Swallowing all those gross spurts and splashes of liquid? As if you’re the kind who swallows, T,” the redhead challenges my cousin.

  Twyla shoots her a dirty look. “Cait!”

  Realizing what she’s said in mixed company, Cait hides her face in her hands, muttering, “I didn’t say that in front of the guys. Ignore me.”

  “We were all thinking about sex and swallowing,” Amy adds, clearly unwilling to contradict Twyla.

  “No, we weren’t,” Zoe mumbles. “Like that cake everyone calls better than sex. If that’s true, you’re not doing it right. Trust me.”

  “Preach, sister.” I chuckle and stare at my feet as I stretch my hand toward her for a subtle high five.

  “Oh, really?” Twyla asks, directing her question at me and Zoe. “You’re having crazy, wild sex that leaves your heart racing and you completely out of breath to the point you feel like you’re flying?”

  Zoe smiles and nods.

  “Bitch,” I whisper.

  She nudges me with her shoulder. “Yep. Be jealous.”

  “You too, Mae?” Twyla won’t let it go.

  Conscious of Aiden next to me, I know I can’t lie. If I was having mind-blowing sex, I wouldn’t be going to her wedding with Landon. Unless she’s crazy and thinks I’m actually having sex with him and it’s incredible.

  “Not at the moment, no,” I answer her. “Right now, I’m eating the best sandwich of my life. I’m not sure if it’s the near-death experience we all recently survived or if it’s simply that good. Where did you get these?”

  Aiden tips his head toward me. “City Market.”

  “Wow. I had no idea. Good to know for all of my picnic needs.” I finish my sandwich and follow up with drinking most of the can of prosecco. It’s a small can.

  The conversation moves on and returns to wedding planning.

  Grateful I’ve avoided discussing my non-existent sex life, I stand and offer to help clean up.

  Joining me, Aiden tries to takes my plate. “I’ll do that.”

  “I can do it.” I refuse to give it up. “Perfectly capable.

  “I’m sure you are, but you’re a client and that makes you a guest. Guests don’t bus their own tables at La Belle Femme, do they?”

  Unable to argue with his logic, I hand over my trash. “Thank you.”

  “No problem. I appreciate you wanting to help. You’re one of the few people who has ever offered.”

  “Really?” I ask, surprised. When Twyla sitting surrounded by her bridesmaids catches my attention, my surprise fades. I imagine most clients would never think to lift a finger.

  Steve collects trash and recycling into separate bags. Mitch hands out cookies, making him the most popular man on the trip.

  “You see my point?” he asks, not pointing at my cousin, but it’s clear from his head tilt he means her.

  “People rarely see past their own immediate needs and preconceptions about roles.” He sets his stack of plates on the table.

  “You’re a wise man, Aiden.” For a slacker and a possible addict, I start to add in my head, but then stop myself. No qualifiers needed. I’m sure a lot of people would put me in the same category as him after I walked away from my career in L.A. to wait tables and snowboard. Now I’m wondering what rumors and gossip are going around about me. Maybe my mother is concerned about my slacker status and that’s why she doesn’t trust me to pick my own date for the wedding. Landon is at least a local celebrity even if he’s notorious.

  Standing near the boats, I dip my feet into the cold, clear water, and stare down at the small river rocks on the bottom. I’m the charity case in this date debacle. Inside I know this isn’t true, but if that’s how my mother and Mrs. Roberts are perceiving me, what does it matter?

  Aiden comes to stand beside me. “You okay? Nervous about the rest of the trip?”

  “I’m having deep thoughts about life and my mother.” I laugh to cover up the truth.

  “Being on the river is great for clarification.” He gives me a slow smile. “Lots of time to think when not going through the bigger rapids.”

  “Will there be more giant, watery, death drops this afternoon?” I ask, only half kidding about the death part.

  “Mostly some fun class twos with one nice three as the big finale. Nothing you won’t be able to handle.
For the final stretch, we run parallel to the road, so you’ve seen most of this part of the river.”

  “The river looks less intimidating from a car,” I state the obvious

  “Funny how proximity can change our perception, huh?” He bumps my shoulder. “You’ll never look at the river the same way again.”

  The same could be said for Aiden. Landon is a kiddie pool compared to Aiden’s wild, untamed rapids.

  We’re not in a place where I can ask him about his recovery. I want to respect his privacy because I’m all about healthy boundaries, but damn, I’m super curious. The only addicts I know are family and celebrities. Twyla’s brother, Ailey, did a stint in a fancy place in Malibu and left early. He’s still messed up. Jesse’s brother died from doing stupid shit while drunk.

  I’m not sure if I could ever take on being with an addict. I’m not that strong. And isn’t there some rule about waiting a year after sobriety to start a relationship? Aiden will probably be long gone by that point. Getting together with him would be a huge mistake no matter if my body thinks otherwise.

  Speaking of changing perception, my recent time with Landon hasn’t magically transformed how I see him, not exactly. When we text, there’ve been glimpses of a better man in the cracks of his typical bravado. Sometimes I still see the teenage version I used to fool around with, who was cocky, but also funny and at times, sweet. Kind of like seeing a shadow out of my peripheral vision and thinking it’s a person when it’s really a pole or chair.

  Could Landon be a secret romantic? I should ask Sage. He must still have some good qualities if she dated him. He could be the kind of man who needs to fall hard for the right woman before he’s willing to change for the better. There’s no way that woman is me, but I’m still not convinced he’s irredeemable. He’s not a heartless monster.

  “You never answered Twyla’s question,” Aiden says softly for only my ears.

  “Neither did you.” I cock my head to the side.

  His cheeks round with his slow grin and he removes his sunglasses, revealing his warm brown irises. In spite of being nearly identical to Landon’s color, Aiden’s stare sends a buzz of electricity through my body. My senses go on high alert.

  I tell myself it’s probably leftover adrenaline or anticipation of getting back in the kayak that’s making my heart flutter. Or the fact he’s asking about my sex life in a roundabout way.

  “I love being on the river, the rush of the rapids, the slow, easy stretches where I can take the time to enjoy the scenery, the thrill of the buildup, and the moment of satisfaction after completing a successful run.” He lowers his voice further to a sexy, deep whisper. “All that being said, I’d never, ever say rafting is better than amazing sex.”

  My breath leaves my body in a whoosh as I sigh. Sweet heaven, his words. I have to look away or else I’ll be forced to kiss him right this very minute. I’m only wearing a bikini, which is the same as underwear, so I’m basically naked and he’s talking about amazing sex. I can’t be expected to handle this.

  I eye the river and think about throwing myself into the icy water to cool off.

  “Your turn.” He gently touches my wrist.

  “I agree. No offense to your passion for your chosen profession.” I don’t elaborate because I’m not sure I’ve ever had sex as hot as the way he described rafting.

  The skin around his eyes crinkles when he laughs. “You’re not offending me. No one should ever go through life without experiencing mind-blowing sex.”

  Mentally, I fan myself. “Can’t argue with that.”

  For the rest of the afternoon, I think about sex. Mostly sex with Aiden as I watch his strong arms paddle and his long legs tense inside of his kayak. His restrained power is one of the sexiest things I’ve seen.

  There’s something to be said for someone who commands their own power against nature. He isn’t competing against another person to prove who’s better or stronger. Instead, he faces off with nature and takes control. That’s how I feel when I snowboard or ski, especially when I used to compete. Of course, I wanted to beat the other boarders’ times and scores, but to do that I had to be the best at mastering the snow and conquering gravity. The high from adrenaline is a happy side effect of facing the power of nature and walking away unscathed.

  We pass through beautiful canyons where pink hued cliffs climb high above us, calm water allowing us to float with the current to enjoy the scenery. I enjoy the smaller rapids, confidently navigating the rocks and whirlpools. When Aiden alerts us to a class three up ahead, I’m excited instead of petrified. Maybe because he goes behind me, loudly cheering as I twist and turn through the churning water.

  By the time we finally reach the end of our ride, I’m ready to do it all again. I also might be a little horny and sexually frustrated.

  Magically, our vans are parked along a gravel road near the river. I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited to pull on leggings and a sweatshirt. Once all of the kayaks and the raft are loaded onto the trailers, we take turns changing clothes in the semi-privacy of the partially closed back doors of the vans. If someone, say Aiden, wanted a peek, all he’d have to do is walk by. This thought bothers me less than it probably should.

  After everyone is changed, Mitch pulls another cooler from the back of a van and reveals more prosecco, wine, alcoholic seltzers, and sodas. “It’s tradition we toast to a good trip.”

  No one is going to argue against this idea and we all happily grab a beverage.

  Aiden shakes a can of soda, and then opens it, creating a spray of sticky liquid, which he aims at Mitch. “To another day on the river. We’re the lucky ones.”

  We all clink our cans and boxes together.

  “To Twyla.” I raise my pink can high above her head. “May her married sex life be wilder than the wildest rapids!”

  Sadly, she’s probably already slept with Topher and knows what she’s getting. I doubt they’re waiting until marriage. Although, based on her earlier comment, she could be a born-again virgin. She certainly isn’t as innocent as she acts sometimes.

  “Here, here,” Zoe yells.

  Others echo her with woots and “get it girl.”

  Twyla beams. “I’m getting married!”

  In case anyone could forget for a minute.

  Aiden meets my eyes. “This life is too short to be anything but spectacular.”

  I agree with him and hold my prosecco out to clink. Keeping eye contact, he taps his fresh can of soda against mine.

  Why can’t Landon be as cool as his brother? Why does Aiden have to be a river guide with questionable life choices? If I could combine the two of them, I’d make the perfect Roberts brother. The fact I’m even thinking Landon has good points to combine says a lot about his behavior the past few weeks.

  We do the same seats on the van ride to the hotel. Zoe falls asleep first; her head rests heavy on my shoulder. I try to stay awake to keep Aiden company while Twyla softly snores in the passenger seat, but my lids become too heavy to keep my eyes open.

  “It’s okay if you crash,” Aiden tells me from the front. “Sun, adrenaline, and prosecco are the ultimate sleeping pill.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask with my eyes closed.

  “I can take care of myself. Promise.” I think he laughs at the end, but I’m already giving into the undertow of sleep.

  Chapter 10

  Aiden

  I am so doomed.

  Up shit’s creek without a paddle screwed.

  I’ve spent all day thinking about Mae. From the moment I saw her at the fundraiser at the museum, she’s been on my mind. I tried to resist flirting with her today but have failed spectacularly.

  Spectacular.

  That’s what she is.

  Growing up, she was a cute kid, but the four year age difference prevented me from seeing her as anything more than a friend of my little brother’s. Now that’s changed in a day.

  Honestly, my asshole brother doesn’t deserve a shot with her, no
t even if it’s for one date, one night. He’s had years to come to his senses about her and has blown it by being driven only by his ego. I’m still stunned he manages to get any action at all given what a shit he is.

  Twice today I wanted to advise Mae to dump my brother as her wedding date. Who cares what our mothers planned or if this is some lame ploy on my brother’s part to get her into bed? Mae deserves better.

  Someone like me.

  Right.

  The guy sleeping on my brother’s couch.

  That’s going to change. And soon. The proceeds from selling my stake in the company I started, and walked away from, should hit my account within the month at the close of the third quarter. Combined with my existing assets, I’ll be able to easily pay cash for a place around here and still have enough money to never have to work again if I don’t want to.

  Not too shabby for a guy who is currently guiding rafting trips.

  I kept this information from Landon and my parents. The sale of the company won’t be announced for another ten days. I asked for the delay to buy myself some time and distance. Luckily, my soon to be ex-partners agreed without too much protest. I’ll keep stock options and they’ll split the company two ways instead of three moving forward. Our goal was always to develop, grow, and then sell to a bigger fish in the market.

  Walking two thousand plus miles through fourteen states has left me with a different perspective on myself and life. I don’t need money or a big title to be happy. Amazing what doesn’t interest me anymore. After focusing on checking off the boxes of success, now I can move on to actually living my life on my own terms. Well, almost.

  When it comes to my growing feelings for Mae, I’m not being honest with anyone, including myself. Evidently, I’m still willing to put myself second to my brother out of a sense of obligation. No, it isn’t that. Guilt. The two of us have always been competitive. The difference is I focus on the long game while Landon keeps track of every single point in each face-off.

  Not sure if he considers me his competition anymore, given he thinks he has the upper hand at the moment. He only operates in a world with winners and losers. Now he’s focused on Mae. If he doesn’t win her over, he loses. Not sure his pride could handle losing her to me. Instead of stopping this bullshit situation, I’m still doing my brother’s bidding behind the scenes. The bigger thing to do in this situation is to allow him his shot.