by Becky Wicks
‘I did it!’ she says in elation, looking up at me.
‘No you didn’t, you almost broke yourself, woman!’ Shan snaps. ‘Don’t do that again.’
‘I’m gonna do it again,’ she says, but Stephanie’s voice makes us all turn around.
‘Guys! Come quick! You gotta see this!’ The vivid pink of her bikini is a neon beacon against the greenery. She frowns beneath her bangs when she sees Alyssa’s hands in mine. ‘What’re ya’ll doing?’
‘The birthday twins are killing me, that’s what they’re doing,’ Shan says as I drop her hands.
‘We were looking for the immunity charm,’ Alyssa adds, stepping away from me. ‘But we think someone must have it already.’
‘We did get eucalyptus, for the toothbrushes,’ I cut in quickly. And clean sheets for the beds, too.’ I motion to the leaves and branches we’ve gathered.
‘Fetch it later. Ya’ll should come to the beach,’ Stephanie says. ‘You’re not gonna believe what Karin’s done!’ She turns on her bare heels and we all follow her with the camera guy, back down the path to the beach. We head around the rocks to another patch of sand no one ever comes to.
Everyone’s here, except for Mike, obviously. Mike was sent home, complaining to the end that I attacked him, even though they screened the fight at the council meeting and it was obvious he lunged at Shan first. No one felt guilty writing his name on those sheets of paper to vote him out. But we’re all going to feel guilty losing whoever goes next.
Everything’s designed to get harder.
‘Oh my god,’ Alyssa’s saying now, over and over and I’m flung back to the present, where I take in what Stephanie wanted to show us. Constructed out of sand is a full-on couch, a little smaller than you’d buy for your home, but almost perfectly formed.
‘She did it all herself!’ Punk tells us, stroking his hands along the sculpted arms and back of it. ‘I found her at it this morning!’
Karin blushes. ‘I was about to build an armchair too, but he sprung me.’
Jaxx puts a hand on her shoulder and whistles. ‘All we need now is the TV and a steak dinner,’ he says, licking his lips and rubbing his stomach.
Punk moves forward to the front of the couch, kicks at some coconut husks that have swept in on the tide. The water’s always rougher here; that’s why we don’t come here all that much. ‘Can I sit on it?’ he asks.
‘Sure, that’s why I made it,’ Karin says, hands on hips, looking at the camera. It’s panning in on the scene and I know why Karin’s done this. She’s smart – showing her parents the only way she knows how that she’s an artist; not a lawyer.
‘I’m not sitting on that thing,’ Mia says, gesturing to her bulk and frowning. ‘I’d break it.’
‘No you wouldn’t. It’s strong. I’m calling it the sunset seat.’
We all watch as the pasty-white Punk lowers himself on the couch and grins as it holds him. ‘Amazing,’ he says. His face is streaked even whiter with sunscreen.
‘Girl, you’re so talented,’ Stephanie cries, clapping her hands together.
I watch Alyssa take a seat next to Punk. She mimes pouring him a cup of tea from a teapot. Her cheeks are red and her tan lines are showing around her bikini straps. They’re a little whiter every day now. ‘Cake?’ she asks, holding out an imaginary plate and Shan sashays forward in his underpants, pretends to grab it from her.
‘Don’t you be giving him all the chocolate sponge, bitch,’ he cries, ‘I spent hours baking that this morning!’
‘Don’t be so greedy! There’s enough for everyone,’ Punk plays along and Shan is just about to start a fake food fight when Journey wanders up from behind me. Her huge pants are billowing.
‘If you’re all done, there’s laundry to be getting on with,’ she says, narrowing her eyes. We all turn to her. Journey’s been keeping herself to herself a lot since the BBQ afternoon and I know she’s made friends with the goat. I caught her there last night on the way to the well with Alyssa, talking to it like some long lost friend.
‘We did the laundry two days ago,’ Stephanie says, but Journey sighs wistfully, eyes her up and down.
‘We don’t all have the luxury of swimwear yet,’ she states, before turning around again in a swish of hair. She’s been teaching Karin crazy yoga poses all morning. Really you’d think she’d be more zen.
‘That chick needs to get laid,’ Shan observes, throwing an arm around Stephanie as he stands up. He almost topples her over. ‘Anyway, we can’t do laundry. And you can’t climb any more trees either, Tarzan and Jane. We’re having the auditions this morning.’
‘Please, no,’ Punk says, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his grubby pants. I raise an eyebrow. Shan’s been trying to get us involved in some kind of dance show to pass the time. Not everyone’s as enthusiastic about it as he’d like.
A scream pulls all of our attention back to Journey. She’s running from the line of trees near camp back towards us again. ‘SNAAAAAAAAKE!’ she yells. My heart slams at my ribs and I bolt in her direction, meet her halfway with the others right behind me, grab her bony shoulders. ‘Snake, snake, snake…’ She’s shaking.
‘Where?’
‘In the shelter! I went in to get more clothes for the laundry and…’
‘Did it bite you?’ Jaxx asks, catching his breath, but she shakes her head.
‘It just crawled out from the beds, on your side!’ she tells him. Her arms are wrapped around her body in fear. ‘What if it was there all night?!’
‘Disappointing,’ Shan frowns. ‘I thought Jaxx just had a case of the old Restless Dick Syndrome in my company. Guess not, huh?’
Jaxx pulls a face.
‘What if it’s still in there, Joshua?’ Stephanie says, looking up at me in terror.
‘Don’t freak out,’ I tell them, moving towards the camp. ‘It’s probably harmless. There are…’ I rack my brains. ‘There are…’ Damn, what was it? I knew how many kinds of poisonous snake there were in Indonesia, I swear, but I can’t remember now. ‘There are only a few poisonous kinds here,’ I say instead.
‘Only a few?’ Stephanie looks pained.
At the entrance to the shelter everyone keeps their distance as I reach for the spear. I step forward, bend down to go inside but a hand clamps round my arm. ‘What are you doing?’ Alyssa hisses at me. ‘Don’t be a hero, Joshua, it’s dangerous.’
Everyone’s staring at us. I pull my arm away, narrowing my eyes. ‘I’m not going to wrestle with it…’
‘What if it bites you, are you crazy?’ Her eyes are full of fear and concern and for a second the fact that she cares so much throws me.
‘It’s probably not even still in there,’ I say, just as a huge green snake with a red tail tip slithers straight out from the entrance at her side and slides right towards her foot.
Everything happens in a split second. Shan shrieks almost as loudly as Stephanie as they all scatter, running back along the beach in a panic – everyone except Journey, who’s frozen to the spot. I lift the spear to shoulder height and just as the snake stops and raises its head right in front of Alyssa I stab it hard, straight through the neck.
Journey’s scream could probably be heard in America. They won’t even have to wait for the show to air. The camera guy’s actually grinning as I raise the dead creature up on the spear. It’s heavy and it’s not easy.
‘I stand corrected. It was still in there,’ I say, studying its features. ‘Damn, it’s at least four feet long. It’s a pit viper… venomous as they come. Beautiful though, look.’ I hold it out. Alyssa’s frozen but Journey grabs the spear from me.
‘You asshole!’ she screams, bending over instantly with the weight of it. ‘I can’t believe you killed it!’ She falls to the floor with it, stroking the snake’s sleek body, ignoring its bleeding head and bulging black eyes. ‘You didn’t have to murder it, Joshua,’ she says again through her sobs. ‘It was frightened.’
‘It was about to bite me!’ Alyssa
says, shakily. She walks to my side and her fingers lace through mine. I pull her closer, hard against my chest without thinking. Shan’s eyebrows rise. I let her go.
‘You should be evicted from the game for this,’ Journey sniffs, looking up at me with loathing in her eyes.
‘Journey, it was poisonous!’ Alyssa tells her in my defense, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘And I dreamed about this snake.’
‘You dreamed about this snake?’ Journey says, incredulously. ‘When?’
‘When we first got here. Could be a coincidence, I guess, but it was exactly the same.’
Journey jumps to her feet, takes Alyssa by the shoulders. ‘It’s not a coincidence. It’s your totem animal,’ she says, swiping at her tears. ‘That’s why it came to you in the dream. You have to be the one to bury it.’
Jaxx snorts behind her. Punk is smirking now. Shan’s rolling his eyes, walking back with Karin towards the sand couch.
‘We’re not burying it,’ I say, reaching down and picking up the spear again. The girls jump back as I dangle the giant, bloody body from its silvery tip. ‘We’re eating it.’
17
Alyssa
I’m feeling a little sick. OK, a lot sick. ‘There’s an odd number in the group right now, so as you know, today’s challenge is each man for himself; except if you’re a woman,’ Ed Bernstein tells us.
He’s standing on a makeshift stage with cameras all around him. We’re all on the same sandy pitch as before. A helicopter is chugging in the blue sky above us and I know this is the part they’ll edit really dramatic music over when the show airs.
‘The winner of this challenge will not only hold immunity from the votes on Friday,’ he continues, ‘but they’ll get a bunch of goodies that should ease the tedium a little. There’s a gourmet picnic, a phone call home, a massage and a luxury camp out by the waterfall for our winner and one other person. This is a five-star package, guys, make no mistake.’
He turns to us again, all lined up under the sweltering sun. I can feel the sweat building up under my bikini and my stomach growls. ‘Think about that,’ Ed continues, ‘when you’re balancing those coconuts. Who do you miss the most from home already? Whose voice are you dying to hear? Who from your fellow castaways deserves this treat alongside you if you win? Does anyone?’
I run my eyes over everyone. I know we’re all weak and hungry and tired and I know how much Mia’s missing home and her three kids already. This is the longest she’s been away from them. Instantly I think of Chloe. I’d call Chloe if I got the prize. I've been trying not to care what's going on out there - to enjoy living in the now - but Chloe would tell me the truth about what’s going out on TV… whether there’s any fallback yet from me spending every night talking to Joshua out on those rocks, under the stars. It’s so PG it’s killing me but there are cameras on us every second of every day and I know how they can twist things; make up what they want.
‘OK, guys, it’s time.’ Ed claps his hands together. ‘Would you take your places on your podiums, please. There’s one in front of all of you.’ I step up to the narrow wooden platform. It’s the size of a steering wheel.
‘We’re handing each player a wooden pole,’ Ed continues, right into the camera. ‘They’ll place this over their shoulders. At each end of that pole there’s a wicker basket. The aim of the game is for each of our castaways to hold as many coconuts as they can in their baskets without dropping their poles!’
He swings back to us. ‘Now, this is all about balance, guys. Balance and willpower. You’re going to have to control your footing. Think smart. There will be times when there are more coconuts at one end of your pole than the other, but you have to concentrate. Clear your mind. You can do this. Go!’
Two runners are handing me the pole. I place it over my shoulders, directly in the middle. I see Punk drop his instantly but I block him out. A coconut is placed in each of my baskets. It’s heavier in a second but I stand up straighter, adjust my footing slightly, carefully. I can do this.
In the corner of my eye I see Mia, a tower block. She’s always talking about how she carries all three of her kids around at once. Then there’s Jaxx. He weighs two hundred and fifty-five pounds, so he keeps on telling us – this will be no problem for him. It’s not exactly a fair game, but then they never really are on this show.
Joshua grunts as two more coconuts are placed in his baskets. I take a deep breath, pull my eyes away from him. My shoulders threaten to sag but I stand tall, channeling the Greek battler I know has to be in me somewhere. Think strong thoughts.
Sebastian swooshes through my skull – his eyes on me from whichever hotel room he’s lying in with the band’s screaming fans outside the window. I’d be kidding myself if I said I haven’t thought about him watching me here, doing all this crazy stuff. I know he was the one who broke things off, but seeing me run around a jungle with a guy who looks more like Tarzan every day can’t be fun for him. I hated seeing him with that blond. Are they still together? Were they ever together, or did I just let myself believe another lie?
Does it matter?
Jesus. Joshua hasn’t even kissed me. And he won’t. Joshua’s turning into my best friend here. Well, him and Shan. And all those cameras…
Focus! Why can I never just focus?
Two more coconuts are added to my basket. To my left I hear a thud as Journey drops her pole and it crashes to the floor. ‘Shhh… oot!’ she cries out angrily. She hops down, almost trips over her massive pants and falls to the sand on her knees.
Punk’s pole is on the floor now. He’s gesturing in annoyance to the sky; the sun’s reflecting off his glasses. It’s so hot. More coconuts are added. Karin starts to wobble. I see her sucking in a breath; the pole is slipping from her shoulders to her middle back but she’s balancing the weight of it on her arms now. She’s only got tiny arms. I will her not to drop it. My own shoulders are starting to wobble. I lock my knees into place.
Journey gets up and shoots Joshua an evil look I don’t miss as she passes him. She’s made it very clear she wants him out next for killing the snake and then ripping off the skin from its body with a giant knife. We cooked it on the fire and I speared huge chunks of it for everyone on bamboo skewers. We seasoned it with some more green peppercorns.
‘It’s not poisonous if you cook it,’ Joshua told us, ‘it deactivates the venom.’
Punk almost vomited on the spot, but he ate it anyway. It’s true what they say; it kind of tastes like fishy chicken.
Joshua’s not looking at anyone now. He’s standing with his eyes closed, as still as a statue. A perfect, chiseled statue. Jaxx wobbles as another coconut is placed in his basket. Karin drops hers with a thud at the same time as Shan does the same and both stifle frustrated screams. There’s only me, Mia, Jaxx, Stephanie and Joshua left. Actually, forget Stephanie. She just dropped hers, too.
I concentrate on my breathing as another two coconuts are added. I feel my pole slipping down my back – the wood is digging into my skin. It hurts like hell and I’ll know I’ll have bruises.
Don’t think about it.
‘That phone call is less than an hour away for one lucky winner,’ Ed Bernstein pipes up – his voice is so loud and booming, coming through a speaker now. ‘Maybe you’ll be sleeping on a comfy mattress with feather pillows tonight, splashing in a cool waterfall, eating fresh seafood with your favorite friend…’
He’s winding us up on purpose. Where is this frickin' waterfall anyway? We haven’t seen a waterfall. That would be heaven. Washing in well water does nothing and my hair's starting to resemble a bunch of rat's tails.
Another two coconuts are added. The sweat is pouring from my face, running down my neck, trickling into my cleavage. I squeeze my eyes shut, force the extra strength I need up from my legs, from my core, to my arms. I did a Pilates class in Boulder the other week. I should be stronger.
Another loud thud. A gasp from the fallen players on the sidelines. Jaxx has dropped his pole
. He curses loudly, stomping on the sand.
Yet another coconut is added to one of my baskets. I wobble precariously. My arms ache like they’ve never ached. I have to do this.
Mia drops her pole. I’m not sure what happened but my eyes spring to Joshua. It’s just us left. He’s standing tall, so still, like nothing on earth could topple him. His eyes are closed, every muscle stretched and taut. The lion’s face on his bicep is covered by the pole on his twisted arm. A sense of dread rushes through me, tangled with excitement. The competitive streak that’s plagued me my whole life flares up and rushes through me.
‘Alyssa and Joshua,’ Ed Bernstein cries as the cameras pan in on us. ‘Two players left. Can we add the extra coconuts, please!’
My heart is racing as the runners step forward. I don’t move an inch. Reality sinks in. I’m here to win this thing as much as he is. Whatever’s happened between us - whatever is happening between us - will never be as serious as our fight to win this show. And I still don’t even know what he’s fighting for.
We talk about everything now, all night, and when we go back to the shelter it actually pains me, not just to stop talking and learning and sharing, but to sleep so close to him without touching. Who am I kidding - Joshua’s not just my friend. And I don’t think it’s in my imagination… these sparks that shoot between us in the dark.
Shan’s noticed.
‘So, you and the animal,’ he said this morning. ‘Can I be an uncle to your sexy spawn? I always wanted to be a fun young uncle. I’m going to wear a crushed velvet suit to your wedding, too, with a top hat.’
‘You’re not,’ I told him. ‘We’re not having any children. We’re not having any sex.’
‘Well you’d better get on with it,’ he said, ‘I’m not getting any younger.’
‘I’m not here to hook up with any guys,’ I told him automatically. ‘I just broke up with Sebastian.’
‘Correction,’ he said. ‘He broke up with you. You need to sweep those cobwebs out of your hoo-ha and get back in the game.’
