Eternally

by Maureen Child

  “You are and I have.”

  “Yet you used me,” she pointed out, feeling the sharp sting of it slap her anew.

  “I did.”

  He lifted his chin and God, he looked magnificent. Moonlight shone all around him, bathing him in a silvery glow that looked more like a pulsing aura. His skin gleamed bronze in the pale light and despite the fear still hiding inside her, she wanted him so much she could taste his skin beneath her lips.

  “And would again,” he added, “if my duty demanded it. I will do what I must to capture this demon.”

  “Capture? Why not kill it?” Surprised at her sudden, bloodthirsty compulsion, she snapped her mouth shut and waited for his answer.

  “Demons are not easy to kill. They are very nearly as immortal as we. The only way to actually kill a demon is with ‘the blood of the innocent.’ And since killing an innocent, even to destroy a demon, is wrong—we capture them.” Clearly he didn’t like that admission, but it was, apparently, the simple truth. “Guardians hunt them, track them, then return them to their own hell dimension. And the longer this one is free to roam your city killing its people, the stronger it becomes.”

  “But now you’re stronger, too.”

  “Yes. And I will find it.”

  “Because we’ve mated.”

  The hollow sound of her words must have reached him because he walked quickly to her and pulled her to her feet. The duvet dropped to the floor, unnoticed as he looked directly into her eyes.

  Kieran felt the jumble in her mind, her thoughts colliding with each other as she tried to make sense of all he had told her. Admiration filled him. She was truly an amazing woman. Her innate strength and the flexibility of her mind gave her insight into truths that others would never see. Guilt still choked him, a hard knot of misery lodged in his throat. He had relaxed his guard to better enjoy the melding of his and Julie’s minds. To savor the sensation of truly being connected to another living soul. And she had very nearly paid for his selfishness.

  He wouldn’t allow the violence of his existence to bleed into her life. Decision made, he paused momentarily to concentrate on the feel of her skin beneath his palms. The soft, silky coolness of her flesh. His gaze dropped, from her full breasts, to her narrow waist and rounded hips and then back to the deep green eyes that called to him, always.

  “We are Mates, that is true.” Kieran moved one hand to cup her cheek and his touch was warm, gentle, as if to make up for what had happened earlier. Knowing that he had frightened her, that he’d touched her with violence was almost more than he could bear. Which made what he was going to say that much more right.

  “But know this. When this hunt is finished, when the demon is returned to its hell, I will let you go.”

  “Let me go?” she repeated. “You mean you’ll allow me to leave?”

  A small, sad smile touched his mouth. “You are not a woman a man allows anything. I meant only that I won’t try to keep you here. You can return to the life you led before we met.”

  She blinked, surprised and unsure of just what to say. “What about the Destined Mates thing? Can we separate?”

  “It has not been done before,” he admitted, his hands on her bare shoulders becoming more gentle, more tender. His fingers caressed her skin idly as he thought about what he was suggesting. “Only a very few Guardians have found their Destined Mates through the years, and of those, none that I know of have separated.”

  “Then—”

  “We can each survive without the other,” he whispered, though in his mind and heart, he knew that neither of them would ever feel truly complete without the other. But he wouldn’t bind her to him with old traditions that meant nothing in this modern age. “This is not the life you chose, Julie Carpenter. And I will not have you lose what is most important to you because of my duty. So when this is finished, we will part. I will leave Los Angeles. You’ll never have to see me again.”

  She actually swayed on her feet and he read confusion in her eyes. Small of him, but he was pleased that he could read no pleasure in her at the thought of seeing the last of him.

  “Stay with me until this is finished. Allow me to protect you and spend my energies where they are most needed,” he said, “and when it’s done, you’re free to go.”

  “I’ll stay. I won’t run again.” She met his gaze evenly, lifting her chin in a small show of defiance. “But don’t keep me in the dark, Kieran. Don’t shut me out.”

  “Agreed,” he said and let her go, symbolically and physically, taking a step back from her, before he could give in to his own desire to feel her body beneath his again.

  “Good,” she said, walking to him, arms outstretched, a flash of hunger in her eyes. “And now, Destined Mate, I need you inside me.”

  “Are you sure?” he asked, battling the incredible roar of need pounding in his blood. “After…”

  “Especially after,” she said and pressed up close to him. She slid her hands down the length of his body and closed her fingers around the hard, thick proof of his need.

  He hissed in a breath as her fingers danced along his length, caressing, stroking, leading the tip of him to rub against her wet heat.

  “Woman,” he admitted through gritted teeth, “you unman me.”

  She grinned up at him. “God, I hope not.”

  13

  T he next few days crawled past.

  Tension hung over the castle in a thick blanket and charged the very air with enough pressure that even breathing was nearly painful. Kieran and Nathan spent most of their time in the in-house gym, training loudly enough that Julie could hear the ringing of swords clashing together all through the castle.

  Julie tried to stay out of their way, spending most of her time in the castle’s extensive library. And, since she couldn’t get in touch with the newspaper—Kieran refused to let her tell anyone where she was—she had begun work on that book she used to dream of writing. But it wasn’t easy to concentrate. She couldn’t stop thinking about the battle that was inevitably headed their way. The demon was still out there. She couldn’t feel it, but she knew it was there. When Kieran wasn’t training, he was out hunting for signs of the demon. Every time he came back from one of these unsuccessful hunts, she felt his frustration like a living, breathing thing in the castle. Their connection had only strengthened and grown in the last several days. When he came to her room in the middle of the night, their lovemaking was fierce yet tender, as if he were determined to eradicate all of her memories of the night the demon had invaded his mind. She could have told him that wasn’t necessary. But he wouldn’t have believed her.

  Sitting back in the wide, burgundy leather chair, she tucked her legs up under her, set her unread book down onto her lap and stared out the window at the neatly trimmed garden beyond. Even in January, there were some flowering bushes and the lawn was as tidy and well cared for as a putting green on a first-class golf course.

  Everything about this place was as magical as a fairy tale. Even the dark prince who called it home.

  “What are you thinking?”

  She turned her head, giving Kieran a forced smile as he walked into the room. “You mean you didn’t peek?”

  Nodding, he walked toward the bar on one side of the room and lifted a crystal decanter filled with a pale amber liquid. Pouring himself a glass of brandy, he set the crystal down, picked up his glass and took a sip. “I confess, I did. Dark prince?”

  She laughed shortly. The man was incorrigible. She no longer remembered what it was like to have her thoughts be her own.

  “I can teach you to erect barriers to protect your privacy,” he offered, crossing the room to sit down on the heavy cocktail table in front of her. She watched him and saw the quick spark of sorrow in his eyes before he could hide it from her. “No,” she said quietly. “There’s no point, is there? When the demon is captured, you’re leaving.”

  He would be gone. She would drive her car up this hill, stare at the castle and know that Kier
an wouldn’t be coming back. How would she live with knowing she would never see him again? How would she survive without his mind touching hers? Without his hands on her body? Without the sense of him nearby?

  The thought of returning to her life, being alone again, was less appealing than it had been at the beginning of all of this. In a few short days, Kieran had become not just a part of her life, but the center of it. Without him, the coming years looked bleak at best.

  “I should have had it by now.” His grip on the fragile crystal glass tightened until Julie was half surprised it didn’t simply shatter. He took a long swallow of the liquor. “It killed another woman last night.”

  “I know.” She tried not to watch the news, but when Kieran was near, she didn’t have to. She felt the waves of fury emanating off of him in thick, dark waves that left her as miserable as he was.

  “I found its trail,” he said, rising to stalk around the wide room with long, quick strides. “Followed it into the hills and then back into the city. From alley to alley, I walked just a step or two behind it. Its energy trace is clear, but its power has grown enough that it loses itself in the rush of the city. Just like Whitechapel, it eludes me and it continues to kill.”

  “You’ll find it.”

  He stopped short and shot her a hard look. “Not soon enough.”

  Julie unfolded her legs, stood and walked to him. “I haven’t felt it again.”

  “No. It won’t be that foolish again. It won’t risk connecting to you, knowing that I would be aware and use that thread of connection to find it.”

  “Well,” she said, wrapping her arms around his middle and burying her head against his chest, “that makes me feel both better and worse.”

  One of his arms came around her shoulders and he rested his chin on top of her head. Julie sighed, enjoying the contact. Somehow, Kieran had become almost a touchstone for her. The one constant in an ever-changing world where danger lurked around every corner and nothing was as she’d always thought it was.

  After a long moment, he said quietly, “I have an appointment I must keep this afternoon. And I’d like you to go with me so I can be sure you’re safe.”

  She tipped her head back. “Leave the castle? Actually go beyond the gate and into the city? You bet.”

  He smiled sadly. “Staying here has been hard for you.”

  “A great prison is still a prison, Kieran.”

  “You are not a prisoner.”

  She inhaled deeply. “I know. It’s just…I’m not used to having to answer to anyone else. I like my independence and having it stripped away is…

  annoying.”

  One corner of his mouth twitched. “You bear it well.”

  “No, I don’t.” But Julie chuckled and thought how strange it was to find comfort in a man who only a short time ago had thrown her ordinary world into turmoil.

  “I warn you,” he said, tipping her face up to his, “with both of us out there, in the open, the demon will be tempted to try to end this.”

  “You mean, kill me.”

  “I won’t allow it.” Kieran’s arms tightened around her as if he could protect her by simply willing it. “You will be safe with me, Julie.”

  “I’m counting on that,” she said, sounding a lot braver than she felt.

  “Are you really going?” Nathan’s voice came from the open doorway and Julie stepped back from Kieran to face the man openly staring at them.

  “I gave my word,” Kieran said simply.

  “I could take your place.”

  “No.” Kieran set his brandy glass down onto a nearby table and said, “I’m going. And Julie is going with me.”

  The Navy SEAL was obviously disgusted when he asked, “Don’t trust me to keep an eye on her anymore?”

  “I said I was sorry,” Julie started, for the dozenth time in the last few days. But, as always, Nathan didn’t want to hear her apologies. He was, in fact, trying to forget entirely that she had ever escaped his watch.

  “It’s not a question of that,” Kieran said.

  “Fine.” Nathan shook his head, and slammed his hands onto his hips as his gaze narrowed. “But take it from me, she’s slippery.”

  “I’ll bear that in mind.”

  An appointment Kieran refused to cancel because he’d given his word. Julie didn’t know exactly what she’d been expecting. A meeting with his attorneys?

  A sword fight?

  A meeting of Immortals to discuss battle plans?

  She never would have expected this. Her gaze locked on Kieran as he sat before a rapt audience of three-year-olds, all listening wide-eyed to his stories of Knights and Ladies. Since the moment they’d entered the Camelot preschool for chronically ill children, Kieran had been drawn away from her and feted by the kids. They clearly adored him and one look at his pale eyes and unusually animated expression let her know the feeling was mutual.

  In this place, Kieran was a hero. He had endowed the facility so that sick children would have a safe place to play and learn. So that they wouldn’t be teased by healthy children because they had to use crutches, or wheelchairs or oxygen tanks.

  Tears stung the backs of Julie’s eyes as she watched a little blond boy in a back brace carefully touch the sword Kieran held out to him. The awestruck wonder in that child’s eyes was enough to wring a tear from a stone. Clearly Kieran was no stranger to this place. The kids knew him, the parents couldn’t thank him often enough and the staff hustled to meet his every wish.

  I will be here for a while, Kieran said, his voice whispering through her mind. I’ve asked someone to give you a tour of the place before the official ceremony.

  Julie smiled. She would really miss this private chitchatting. As the crowd talked and milled around her, she answered him just as silently. Don’t worry about me. You just enjoy yourself.

  He gave her a brief grin that nearly toppled her with the power behind it, then added, You’re safe here.

  I know.

  She felt the absence of tension as physically as she would have in peeling off a sweater on a warm day. Here, there was no threat. Here, there were only kids to entertain and important people to feed. Today at Camelot—a name which she was sure Kieran had suggested—

  there was a crowd of people gathered for the ceremonial opening of the hospital wing. At least a hundred or more people milled around, sampling the excellent buffet and drinking expensive champagne. Parents of the sick kids mingled with doctors and some of the wealthiest movers and shakers in L.A. The only people not present, were reporters—

  and Julie had to smile. It was the one request Kieran had made and those in charge had happily fulfilled it. No one wanted to argue with a man who had personally guaranteed that the facility would never have to worry about fund-raisers.

  “He’s done a wonderful thing here,” Grace Johnson, the woman in charge of Camelot said as she guided Julie away from the crowd and down a long hallway to the new hospital wing for a personal tour. “The children are happy, and their parents don’t have to worry about their safety.”

  “It’s amazing,” Julie said, filled with pride at what Kieran had done. The dark warrior, solitary, cut off from the world, leading a life of such extreme solitude it would drive most men insane, had cared enough to make life a little easier for sick children.

  Was it any wonder she loved him?

  Surprise flickered in her mind, then dazzled her completely. Of course she loved him. She’d tried to tell herself it was just lust. Or the fact that they’d been involved in nothing but stressful, dangerous…inherently sexy situations from the moment they’d met.

  But it was so much more.

  Look what he’d done. The building, complete with conical towers, pennant flags streaming from their tips, was perched on a cliff overlooking the ocean—not far from the Santa Monica pier where she and Kieran had made love for the first time.

  The view of the sunset streaking across the horizon was incredible. Crimson and deep orange bled together in
the twilight sky, staining the water below with shimmering color that was nearly blinding in its intensity. It was almost magical and she understood completely why the children were so happy here. It was a world apart from the reality of their lives. Here, there was room for imagination and daydreams. The building was beautifully appointed and even the new hospital wing had a friendly, nonthreatening air to it. The walls were a soft blue and decorated with the paintings the children had created. The empty beds were shaped like race cars for the boys and glass slippers for the girls. There were toys and chairs and even the IV poles were painted to look like candy canes. Every tiny detail was perfect, designed to take the fear out of being ill.

  Planned to maintain children’s sense of self despite their limitations.

  “I can’t tell you how much the children enjoy Mr. MacIntyre’s visits,”

  Grace was saying, strolling proudly down the long, brightly lit hallway.

  “Does he come often?”

  “Once a month, without fail. Once that man makes a promise, he never breaks it. And he just mesmerizes those kids with stories about knights in shining armor.” Grace paused, looked at Julie and shook her head in admiration. “I swear, the man uses such detail in his stories, it’s almost as if he lived them.”

  Julie smiled to herself. “He’s an unusual man.”

  “You can say that again.” Grace checked her watch and said, “If you’ll excuse me, I want to go back in and make sure that Mr. MacIntyre has everything he needs. The ceremony should start in an hour, so there’s no rush to get back in there. You just make yourself comfortable, look around all you want. Any friend of Mr. Mac’s is always welcome here.”

  “Thank you.” Julie wandered through the last few rooms, in no hurry to get back to the crowded main room.

  Alone, she moved down the hall, peeked into closed rooms and found the back door that led to a fenced backyard outfitted with playground equipment, sandboxes, tricycles and…a detailed, miniature-castle playhouse, equipped with wheelchair ramps and even a drawbridge. She laughed aloud at the magic of it and walked to the castle to peek inside. Her heart full, she hugged the newfound knowledge of her love close and tried to imagine how she would ever live without him. He’d made a vow to let her go—and as even Grace had just reminded her, once Kieran gave his word on something, he didn’t go back on it. So whether she loved him or not, he would be walking away from her life as completely as he’d entered it.