Reflections in the Mind's Eye

by Stuart Young

  Sometimes Will wanted something bad to happen to Darren so he could pretend it had happened to Jerry, that the karmic scales had somehow been rebalanced.

  He wondered if that made him a bad person.

  ‘Will, phone call for you.’ Stacey, the pretty young sales assistant who Darren was shagging behind his girlfriend’s back, waved a phone at Will. ‘Someone from your son’s school.’

  The air pressure in the store suddenly increased, pushing down on Will’s body, squashing his heart and his muscles into a tight little ball. He forced himself to take the receiver from Stacey’s hand calmly, gently, not snatching it like he wanted to. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Mr Gibbs? Deputy head Lockhart. I just wanted to check if Josh had any doctor’s appointments or family engagements this afternoon.’

  ‘No. Why?’

  ‘Well, he was here for morning registration but no one has seen him since lunchtime.’

  The air pressure increased, nearly drowning out the rest of Lockhart’s words.

  ‘It’s like he’s vanished off the face of the earth.’

  Cooper didn’t sound happy. ‘Gibbs? I told you, use a payphone when you call me. My number turns up on your mobile records and we’re both in big trouble. Bad enough that people saw us together at the police station –’

  ‘Piper’s got my son.’

  A second, maybe half a second, of silence. ‘Christ, I’m sorry. This should never have happened.’ Cooper’s condolences sounded so heartfelt, as though Will was someone he had known all his life. And perhaps he did, Cooper dealt with crime victims every single day; he knew them intimately, how they thought, how they felt, how they hurt. Then, commiserations over, he shifted gears, becoming all business. ‘Give me details. Where did your kid get snatched? Did anyone see anything?’

  Will leaned forward in the taxi seat, the mobile pressed to his ear. ‘It was during lunch hour at his school. No one saw a thing.’

  ‘You call the police?’

  ‘No, I –’

  ‘Call them. I’ve got the brains but it’s their town so they’ve got me beat on manpower. But whatever you do don’t say anything about Piper.’

  ‘What?!’

  ‘Right now you’re a concerned parent. You mention Piper and you’re a paranoid nutjob.’

  ‘But someone’s got to check on him.’

  ‘Let me worry about that.’

  ‘I thought you couldn’t go near Piper.’

  ‘I can get near enough to keep tabs on him. Just don’t mention him to the boys in blue.’

  The cab sat in a queue of traffic, gridlocked cars stretching past the derelict warehouse and graffiti-daubed skating rink that lurked beside the dual-carriageway. After an eternity the lights changed and the traffic crawled forwards.

  Will clenched his fist, urging the taxi on. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I won’t mention Piper.’

  The policeman finished jotting details in his notebook and looked down at the little boy he was questioning. ‘And that’s the last time you saw Josh?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Okay.’ The policeman smiled. ‘You can get back to your class now.’

  The boy turned and ran back to his friends who stood nearby, watching the policeman and his partner. The children filed out of the playground and back into the school.

  Will stood, numbed by the October chill. Deputy head Lockhart stood beside him, the teacher’s chubby cheeks looking strangely haggard, the lack of sun turning his normally shiny pate as dull as the grey hairs that ringed the bottom half of his head.

  Usually Will enjoyed visiting the school. But not today. The playground felt drained of all childhood innocence. The white lines of a hopscotch grid reminded him of the chalk outline around a corpse at a crime scene; a heap of withered leaves looked like the discarded husks of maggots, he almost expected to see a swarm of newly-hatched flies buzzing through the air, searching for rotting flesh to feast upon.

  Will stepped over to the policemen. ‘Well?’

  The constable with the notebook shook his head. ‘Nothing definite. But our lads are looking. We’ll find your son.’

  The policeman’s voice hit just the right combination of concern and reassurance. Will nearly found himself believing what the policeman said. Except he had heard the same words when Michael went missing.

  Their enquiries complete the policemen headed to their panda car and drove off. Will watched them go. He wanted to run round Piper’s flat and empty the pistol into him. But he had rushed straight to the school, the pistol was still hidden in the wardrobe. And he couldn’t leave now, not with Janie on her way and Deputy head Lockhart glued to his side, babbling non-stop apologies and assurances.

  So he stood, pulling all his fear and rage inside him, hiding it at the very centre of his being.

  His body rebelled against the stress he was forcing it to undergo, paying him back by stabbing at his brain with a vicious migraine. His hand closed around the bottle of aspirin in his coat pocket but he didn’t take one. Josh wasn’t there to open the bottle for him.

  And his brain didn’t just punish him with pain. It tortured him with images of what Piper was doing to Josh. Fleeting, subliminal flashes of torture and degradation, the horrors never fully revealed, never quite fully formed. Yet somehow that made them all the more terrible.

  Piper had pulled Josh through that mysterious oak doorway, taking him through to… what? The books in Piper’s flat popped into his head. Doorways to Other Worlds. The Inferno.

  That’s when it hit him.

  Hell. Piper had taken Josh to Hell.

  As he staggered under the force of this revelation a taxi pulled up outside the school and Janie jumped out. She marched over to him. Lockhart started to apologise to her but Janie cut him off, focusing her wrath on Will. ‘What the hell did you call the police for, you idiot?’

  ‘Because Josh is missing.’

  ‘He’s probably off somewhere smoking cigarettes. Just like you taught Michael.’

  He tried to keep his voice calm but his heavy emphasis on each individual word betrayed his anger. ‘Our. Son. Is. Missing.’

  ‘Your son. Yours and that whore’s.’

  Will stared at her. He couldn’t believe she was bringing this up now. They had agreed not to talk about it, just grit their teeth and let the wounds fester until they were ready to discuss it with their marriage counsellor.

  But Janie was on a roll now, Will knew that she couldn’t stop even if she tried. ‘For all we know Josh is stuck in the toilets. Probably having trouble getting his underwear to stay up if he’s anything like his slag of a mother.’

  ‘Don’t you dare talk about Anne like that. She had nothing to do with the breakup. You left me. You don’t get to criticise my choices. Most men wouldn’t even have given you a second chance after your toyboy dumped you.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s right, play the big hero. For two years the only time I saw you was for your custody visits with Michael. Then as soon as the bimbo dies giving birth to your brat of a son you come crawling back.’

  ‘I came back for you. But right now I’m having a hard time remembering why.’

  They stood glaring at each other, neither one backing down. Lockhart gave an embarrassed cough. ‘Um, I’d better see how the children are getting on.’

  He scurried off into the school building, leaving Will and Janie to burn holes in the atmosphere with their glaring.

  Will’s mobile rang, its ringtone harsh, shrill. Still scowling at Janie he answered it. His face paled. ‘It’s the police. They think they’ve found Josh.’

  The taxi pulled up outside the newsagent. An ambulance stood by the kerb surrounded by a small crowd of onlookers.

  Will jumped out of the taxi, pushing his way past the vultures to get to the ambulance, all the time his heart tightening in his chest. Did someone have to die before being taken to Hell?

  Then he spotted Josh, standing next to the ambulance, alive, unharmed. Will swept him up in his arms, a joyous sob bu
rsting forth from his lips.

  Josh struggled to break free, embarrassed. ‘Dad… ’

  Will shook him, joy and rage battling within him. ‘How could you be so stupid?’

  ‘I just wanted to look cool in front of the other kids. I only took one stupid chocolate bar… ’

  ‘What?’ Will noticed the newsagent owner scowling at Josh. ‘You were shoplifting?’

  ‘Yeah. Until the owner spotted us. The other kids ran away but Andy had an asthma attack so I stayed and told the owner to call an ambulance.’

  Janie shot Will an I-told-you-so look. Will shook his head in disbelief. ‘I thought you’d been kidnapped and all the time you’d just been bunking off school?’

  ‘Kidnapped? I’m not stupid. I know not to go with strangers. That’s why I didn’t go with that man when he asked me to.’

  Will froze. ‘What man?’

  ‘I dunno. He wore a baseball cap and sunglasses. He came up to us on our way to the store. He said I should go with him but I said no. Then he started crying.’ Josh frowned, confused. ‘Why was he crying, Daddy?’

  Will shook his head. ‘I don’t know.’

  But he was crying too.

  The kitchen felt larger somehow, as though you would need to take an aerial photo to take it all in. Or maybe it was just that Will felt smaller, drained.

  He leant against the kitchen doorjamb, rubbing his forehead, waiting for the migraine to cease.

  Janie wasn’t home yet. She had taken a separate cab home. Just as well, they would only end up having a fight in front of Josh. Sometimes he didn’t know if they would ever heal the wounds in their marriage.

  Second time round and they still couldn’t get it right.

  Josh slumped in the chair by the kitchen table, sulking. He still didn’t understand what had happened; he thought Will was just overreacting. And he still hadn’t forgiven Will for what he thought Will had done to Sully.

  Will knew he should ground him for skipping school and stealing the chocolate bar but right now he was just so glad he was safe, he just wanted to spoil him, never leave his side again. ‘You want some ice cream?’

  Josh shrugged. ‘I s’pose.’

  Will headed for the fridge. He would give Josh the works; chocolate sauce and toffee sauce and hundreds and thousands. But nothing for himself. He didn’t want an ice cream headache on top of his migraine.

  Reaching for the freezer compartment he glanced down and saw a note stuck to the door of the fridge:

  ‘Leave Piper alone.’

  Will stared at the note.

  The bastard had been in his home. He had suspected before but now he knew.

  But that wasn’t the worst of it.

  The handwriting on the note was the same as the one already stuck to the fridge. The one that said, “I love you, Mummy.”

  The new note had been written by Michael.

  ‘Stay in the flat.’

  Will couldn’t believe what Cooper was telling him. ‘But he’s been in the flat.’

  ‘And now he’s gone. You said you checked everywhere, right?’

  The fact that Will had searched every nook and cranny before calling Cooper didn’t reassure him. Piper could get in anytime he liked.

  ‘You stay put,’ repeated Cooper. ‘Bad enough that my number’s going to show up on your phone records without you blundering around creating a complete balls-up.’

  ‘Should I call the police?’

  ‘No. They wouldn’t do anything. They’d just say that was an old note or that you copied Michael’s handwriting or some shite like that.’

  ‘I’ve got to do something. He’s got my son. Michael’s alive!’

  ‘So let’s keep him that way. I’ll sort things out so that Piper never bothers you again.

  ‘How?’

  ‘Never mind how, just let me handle it. I won’t let anything bad happen, all right? No matter how this all turns out I won’t let anything bad happen to you or your family. I owe you that much after what you’ve been through. Now just stay put.’

  Cooper rang off.

  Will dropped the phone, ran for the wardrobe. Grabbing the gun case he ran back into the study. Josh looked on in confusion. Will’s fingers fumbled at the case’s locks. What the hell was the combination?

  The case refused to open. Fuming, he slammed both palms down on top of the case. He turned away from the desk, the migraine pounding through his skull.

  A key scratched in the front door and Janie came in. ‘What’s going on?’

  Will ignored her, just reached past her to grab his coat off the coathook.

  ‘Will, tell me what’s going on.’

  ‘He won’t tell me either,’ said Josh, folding his arms as he went into a sulk. ‘Nobody ever tells me anything.’

  Will spun round, his face twisted in fear and rage. ‘I don’t have time to tell you what’s going on, you stupid little brat!’

  Josh shrank back before his fury, tears appearing in his eyes.

  Will’s face softened. He took a step forward. ‘I’m sorry… ’

  Josh backed away. He moved towards Janie for comfort but then, seeing she had none to offer, backed into a corner instead. ‘I hate you! I hate both of you!’

  Will wished he had time to make things right but he didn’t. That kind of thing took a lifetime.

  Pulling on his coat he looked at Janie. ‘Don’t let anyone in unless it’s me.’

  He opened the door, pausing as Cooper’s advice flashed into his mind. Stay put.

  Like hell.

  A light shone in the window of Piper’s flat. But there was no movement, no silhouette to confirm he was home.

  Will pumped coins into the payphone, dialled Piper’s number.

  A couple of rings then: ‘Hello?’

  Piper sounded even younger over the phone, a child trapped in a man’s body. ‘Hello?’

  Will dropped the receiver; it swung back and forth on its cord like a man dangling from a gallows. Piper’s voice went even higher, nerves creeping in. ‘Hello?’

  Will strode towards the flat, flexing his hands.

  This time he had remembered to wear gloves.

  He didn’t have time to bribe the caretaker for the keys but it didn’t matter. Back in his football days he had been good at slamming his shoulder into other players when the ref wasn’t looking. The door gave way on his first attempt.

  He barged into the flat, yelling. ‘Michael!’

  No answer.

  Just the sound of a flute screeching as it clawed at the air.

  He hit the street running, his thumb stabbing at his mobile.

  God, he was stupid. He knew Piper could walk through walls, why hadn’t he sent Janie and Josh to a motel, somewhere safe, somewhere Piper couldn’t find them, before he went charging in?

  A voice sounded from his mobile. He cut into the greeting. ‘Cooper? He’s going after my family! Get over there!’

  Sobs came from the other end of the line; Will realised it was a woman. ‘H-he isn’t here.’

  Of course not, he was out trying to stop Piper. Only he was too late.

  ‘Listen, it’s vital that I talk to him. Can you give me his mobile number?’

  ‘You don’t understand, he can’t talk to anyone. He’s been taken for questioning by the Complaints Investigation Bureau. They say he’s been falsifying evidence, that he’s fitted up over a dozen men…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They just – they just marched in and demanded to question him. They didn’t care that we were about to go out for our wedding anniversary. Oh God, I don’t know what to do…’

  Will stiffened. How could Cooper be heading out for a knees-up when not ten minutes ago he had promised Will he was going to take care of Piper?

  ‘I don’t even know why they think he’s done anything. He’s a good man. It’s the people he deals with who need locking up. He gets so upset when he sees the things they get up away with.’

  Christ, Cooper hadn’t been helpin
g Will, he had been using him. Feeding him information, reminding him how much danger his family was in; anything he could to trick Will to find the evidence that he couldn’t. And when Will couldn’t find any evidence Cooper had got him a gun, all the time pretending he didn’t want him to have it.

  ‘You know they’ve made a mistake, don’t you? You came to him for help, you know he’s a good man, don’t you?’

  More sobs. Will didn’t bother to offer his sympathies. All he knew was he was on his own. Him against Piper.

  Calling up his address book he phoned Janie. He knew she would pick up straight away if only so she could yell at him some more.

  The phone rang.

  And rang.

  And rang…

  The door kept shaking as he inserted the key. It wasn’t his hand, he held that steady, his nerves in check. He didn’t shake at all. It was the door.

  He burst into the flat, the door bouncing on its hinges against the wall.

  No Janie.

  No Josh.

  He ran through the flat like a madman, screaming their names. He shouted so hard he nearly didn’t hear when someone answered.

  ‘Will? What’s going on?’

  Spinning round he grabbed Janie’s arms, shook her. ‘Where’s Josh?’

  ‘I don’t know. I had to go to the bathroom. Isn’t he in the study?’

  ‘He didn’t answer when I called.’

  ‘Probably still sulking.’

  ‘He can’t –’

  Will broke off as screeching filled the air. Flute music.

  He raced to the study, fearing the worst. Then he skidded to a halt. Josh stood in the lounge.

  Held firm in Piper’s grip.

  Piper brought the flute to his lips ready to make his getaway.

  Josh flailed his arms, knocking the flute from Piper’s mouth before he could play a note. Seizing his chance Will lunged at Piper, trying to tackle him, but he tripped and fell sprawling to the floor, jarring his knee – his bad knee, damn it – as he landed.

  Ignoring the pain he grabbed at Piper’s leg. But Piper was out of range. Will stretched, straining his joints to their limits. As a teenager back on the football pitch he hadn’t managed to save the match but that had been just a game. This was his family, his son. He wouldn’t let him down.