What Hurts the Most 4

by Tynessa

  ****

  The next day, I got up bright and early and cooked breakfast for my family. Kacey didn’t leave last night but he didn’t come to our bedroom to sleep either. He slept in the nursery we were setting up for Kassidy, on the floor. Seeing him there this morning, I just shook my head. I don’t even know why I try with Kacey. Well I know why, I just hate it. I hate the fact that I love Kacey beyond measure, when he’s proven over and over that he’s in love with another woman.

  He’s now laying on the couch and as I put Lil Kace’s jacket on, my eyes were locked on him. After noticing he wasn’t going to acknowledge me, I decided to speak up.

  “Do you even wanna be here, Kacey?” I asked him. He looked at me and rolled his eyes, directing his attention back to the TV. “Yeah, I didn’t think you did. Why don’t you just leave then? If you don’t wanna be here, then go! Go be with the bitch that’s gonna make you happy because I certainly can’t no more. Ever since you got out of prison, it’s like you have no love for me anymore.” By now, the water works had begun.

  I just felt so used. Like Kacey had me to fall deeply in love with him just so he could use me to get out. Had I already known he had a girl, trust and believe I wouldn’t have even stepped to him. Now that we have two kids and I’m madly in love with this man, there’s no walking away. I’ve tried but I just can’t do it. Every time I tell him to leave, I prayed and hoped he wouldn’t. I don’t know what I would do if he actually takes my advice and leave me for good. I think Kacey knew how I felt about him and that was the reason he treated me like shit on the bottom of his shoe.

  “Would you hush? If I didn’t wanna be here, then why haven’t I left yet?”

  “Because you don’t have nowhere else to go. That’s what I think.” I got off the couch and grabbed my purse to prepare to leave. I was headed to drop Lil’ Kace off at my sister’s house, then I figured I would stop by Grisela’s.

  “I have plenty of places to go,” he tried to convince me. I knew his ass didn’t have anywhere to go. Tan didn’t want him and he had no family here. It wasn’t like Tez or Jay would let him live with them. And B didn’t have a stable place to live himself, so where was he going?

  “Did you forget Tan has her own place?”

  “But she don’t want your ass! So I’ll just leave you here to think about where you going if you leave me.” With that, I walked out the door without waiting for a response. I just wished he would grow up and see that I’m actually the one that cares about him. Tan didn’t give two fucks about Kacey and he needed to realize that. The sooner he does, the better off we would be.

  After dropping my baby off, I headed to Grisela. She’d left a voicemail on my phone last night saying for me to call her. Then she texted me this morning. I didn’t call; I just decided to pay her a visit.

  “What’s up?” I asked her as I walked inside her house after her. I wanted to know what was so urgent. “What you wanted to talk to me about?”

  “Okay, so Tez came over here nutting up on me because someone told Tan that I was pregnant by him. He thought it was me, but funny thing about it is, I never talked to her yesterday,” Grisela explained as she looked at me questionably. I frowned because I didn’t see the big deal. Why would he nut up on her? So what if she let her know they were having a second child.

  “Why is he trying to keep it a secret? You are pregnant by him.” When I asked that, Grisela dropped her head. By her sudden quietness and her no longer being able to look at me, I knew then that she wasn’t pregnant by Tez. I needed clarification though. “Grisela… It’s not his baby?”

  “No. I’m not pregnant by him this time,” she finally said.

  I swear I wanted to jump for joy.

  “Why you didn’t tell me? I mean, yeah I told Tan that you were pregnant by Tez just like I told her that I was pregnant by Kacey. You should’ve told me that it wasn’t his.”

  “But chicka, I never told you I was.” This heffa had the nerve to have an attitude. Oh, she had the right one. Both our pregnant asses would be in this muthafucka fighting.

  “But you never said you wasn’t. All the times I’m talking about you, Tez and this baby, not once did you tell me that you weren’t pregnant by the muthafucka. So, how was I supposed to have known? I don’t read minds. You could’ve stopped me the first time I said it was his baby.” Oh, this bitch had me heated.

  “Regardless if I said it was his or not, it wasn’t your place to go tell that girl that. Honestly, you didn’t have to even go back in that bathroom and say shit to her, Rachel. I think you was trying to pick a fight with her, mami.”

  “Really, Grisela? You’re coming at me like this over that bitch? Knowing how she feels about your nigga? I can’t believe you.” My feelings were actually hurt. I thought Grisela and me were better than that, but obviously, I was wrong. This bitch is just like the rest of these niggas, riding that bitch’s clit.

  “Tez isn’t my nigga. What? Because we get along as parents and do what we have to for our kid, means we’re together? No, it just means we’re grown and on a whole different level than you and Kacey.”

  No this trick ass bitch didn’t.

  “No, it means you still have feelings for him but since he don’t wanna be with your ass, you have to pretend you don’t want him. That’s all that means. Just a few months ago, y’all was still sleeping together and your ass was thinking y’all was getting back together. It ain’t my fault you slipped up and got pregnant by the milk man and now he definitely don’t want your ass back.” When I said that, Grisela’s bottom lip hit the floor. She looked embarrassed and I knew I’d just hurt her feelings.

  “You know what?” she said as she stood and walked over to her front door. She didn’t have to tell me to get out because I had grabbed my purse and was now walking behind her. “I would rather pretend those feelings ain’t there than to be chasing a nigga that don’t want me or never will.” With that being said, she slammed the door in my face but only to open it right back. “Oh, and another thing. Trapping a nigga ain’t gonna make him stay where he doesn’t want to be.” This time she slammed it and didn’t open it back. Had she, I would’ve been all over her ass.

  Chapter 14

  Tangela

  Stepping Out!

  It has been three days since I decided to move back to Atlanta and I’d already found an apartment in the old complex I stayed in, before I moved to Savannah. I was ready to go ahead and get everything moved in and settled. I hadn’t found a job yet, but I knew that would come in due time. I had enough money to survive for a few months so I would look between time.

  Tonight, Asia and me were getting dressed to go out to celebrate me moving back. I hadn’t been out in a while, so of course I was ready.

  “Oh my God, bitch!” Asia screamed when I walked out the room I was sleeping in. I jumped and looked around to see why she yelled out like she was crazy.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You killing that fucking dress. That’s what! If I had all that ass, a bitch wouldn’t be able to tell me shit.” She spanked my booty, causing it to jiggle. “Then you done lost some weight. You back to the old Tan now. I see yo’ single ass. You tryna snag you a man tonight, huh?” Asia went on. She was boosting my head up and embarrassing me at the same time.

  I giggled shyly and said, “Asia, hush. For real though, you don’t think it’s too much? Like, are the splits up too high? I don’t want my coochie to be showing.”

  I was rocking a long dress with two splits going up the front on each side, displaying my right rose tattoo I’d gotten two months ago.

  “Hell no. I wanna borrow it when you take it off,” Asia laughed. She laughed because she knew damn well Jay would beat her ass.

  “I think I’m gonna change.” I turned to go back into the room but Asia got onto me, telling me that I better not change my clothes. After going back and forth with her, I went on and wore the darn dress.

  When we got to the lounge, Jay and B was already there, in V
IP. While Asia was hugging Jay, I hugged B.

  “Hey, big head,” I said to him as I wrapped one of my arms around his neck. This fool wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. As I giggled, I tried to push him back a little, but his ass wasn’t easing up. “Boy, stop playing,” I said as I pushed him back once again. This time, he moved his hands from my waist but grabbed my hand as he took in my appearance.

  “You wearing the fuck out that dress, girl. Tez or Kacey one better wife yo’ ass up before I do,” he said, causing me to laugh and hit him in the chest. “Man, I’m dead ass.”

  “Shut up, fool,” I said to him with a laugh. “Come on, let’s go dance.” Giving Asia my clutch, I grabbed B’s hand and took a few steps forward before bumping into Quintez and Kacey. Shit! I cursed underneath my breath. I really hated them hanging together. Well, it wasn’t so much of them hanging together, it was just embarrassing being that I’d slept with them both. Made me feel like a hoe. “Excuse me,” I said as I tried to squeeze by them. Quintez threw his hands in the air as he moved to the side. Asshole! Kacey on the other hand, grabbed my arm.

  “Where y’all going?” he asked me. I jerked my arm out of his grip. The nerve of this guy.

  “To mind our business. Why don’t you try minding yours!” With that being said, I walked off with B right behind me. I was no longer in the mood for dancing but since I was already up, I went on anyways. I’m glad I did because I was having a good time out here with B. This boy is crazy. A few times I had to move his hands off my ass but, I was enjoying myself nonetheless.

  Three songs later, I was being snatched up. Being that I had my back to B’s front, I thought it was him being a little aggressive until I turned around and Quintez was standing there with murderous eyes. I tried to jerk my arm out of his tight grip just as I had done with Kacey a while ago, but this crazy nigga wasn’t budging.

  “Y’all done danced for three muthafuckin’ songs. That’s enough gotdamn dancing now!” Quintez huffed. “B, you can take yo’ ass back up there with Jay and Kace.” Though Quintez said his last order to B, his eyes never left mine. Embarrassed wasn’t the word and he wasn’t even my nigga. I didn’t know why he was acting like this. “Come on,” he said as he started pulling me towards the exit.

  Lord knows I didn’t want to put up a fight. I wanted to run right behind this fine, sexy, chocolate man, like a lost puppy, but I didn’t want him to think he just had it like that. I’d just tried to give him some the other day and this nigga just walked out like I didn’t mean shit to him. I was willing to rekindle the love that we had, but he didn’t want that, or at least he put on as if he didn’t.

  “What the fuck you doing with this shit on? Pussy showing and shit. Then you all out there shaking yo’ ass on B. What, you fucking him next?” his disrespectful ass said. I was beyond offended. Raising my hand in the air, I was about to slap the shit out of his ass like I did the other day, but he grabbed my wrist. “I’ma let your hand go, but just know that if yo’ ass touch me, I’m beating yo’ muthafuckin’ ass.” The look in his eyes let me know he meant what he’d said.

  Slowly, I brought my hand back down to my side. “What do you want, Quintez?”

  “What the fuck you doing dancing with that nigga? You fucking with him or something?” I wasn’t even about to entertain Quintez. Just because I fucked with him and Kacey didn’t mean I was going to smash all the homies. Hell, he lucked up on the pussy his damn self. I turned around and started to walk off, but he grabbed me and pulled me back to him. “So you ain’t gon’ answer my damn question? What was that shit about?”

  “What? Nigga, I didn’t even know you and Kacey knew one another, so don’t be throwing that bullshit about me talking to both of y’all because I didn’t know.” How dare this bastard say that shit to me?

  “Yeah, and when you found out, you didn’t stop fucking with neither one of us.”

  “Kiss my ass! It was just a fucking dance, Tez!” I shouted, calling him by his nickname. “No, I’m not fucking him nor do I plan on fucking him or any other one of y’all friends.” I was fucking heated and tears had begun to form in my eyes. “You or Kacey either for that matter,” I threw in there.

  “You mean Kace! I can get this pussy anytime I fucking want to.” Quintez is too damn cocky for me. I tried to walk away again, but he pulled me back like before. This time, he ran his free hand through one of the split of my dress. My pussy was throbbing. I know he felt the heat coming through the G-string I was wearing.

  “Stop Quintez.” I tried pushing him away. For one, we were standing outside in the parking lot and two, I was still upset with him and wasn’t ready to give in to him just yet. “Move.” He tried to kiss my neck but I pushed his head back.

  “Oh, so it’s like that now?”

  “It’s exactly like that. You should’ve gotten it the other day instead of being an ass, but then again, that’s just you.” He chuckled at what I said and continued to try and touch me. “Quintez, for real, stop. I’m not playing with you. These folks walking by and shit, what if someone sees you,” I whined.

  Licking those scrumptious lips of his, he said, “Man, ain’t nobody gon’ see us.” I don’t even know why I gave into him when he whispered that into my ear. It was like my body reacted to his whisper, to his lips, as they brushed against my earlobe. Maybe it was the way he snatched my G-string clean off. Whatever it was, it had my body on fire. “This is still my pussy!” By now, Quintez had inserted two fingers into my pussy and was moving them in and out slowly, while rubbing my clit with his thumb. I had no other choice but to lean my head back against his chest and close my eyes.

  Taking my hand, Quintez said, “Let’s go,” and led me to his car.

  Inside Quintez’s ride it was quiet, as he bumped Plies and smoked a blunt. I looked at him a few times out the corner of my eyes. Damn he’s sexy as hell, I thought to myself. He looked as if he was in deep thought and I asked, “You nervous?” I was just trying to break the silence. I knew damn well Quintez wasn’t nervous. For what? I knew his cocky ass couldn’t wait to get to his house and put it on me.

  Just as I suspected, his arrogant ass said, “Nah, just thinking about what I’m gon’ do to you.” He was calm as he pulled his blunt. I smirked.

  “Is that right?”

  “You’ll see,” he replied then he licked his full lips. “You know it’s been a minute since I had some of this good shit. So, you sure you ready for this?” Never taking his eyes off the road, he grabbed my hand and placed it on his rock hard dick. The shit was so hard that it turned me on in the worst way.

  He had me kind of nervous now. It had been a minute since I really had a good fuck. I mean, Kacey is good and puts it down, but he didn’t equal up to Quintez. Everything about Quintez was so much fucking better than everything I was used to.

  I was feeling freaky as hell, so I unfastened my seatbelt and turned to face him. Leaning my back against the door, I threw my left leg over the seat and my right one over the dashboard. He’d already ripped my panties off in the parking lot, so I wasn’t wearing any, and it gave me easy access to my kitty. My shit was already wet as hell from the sight of this man, so I stuck my index finger inside, followed by my middle finger.

  “Damn, girl,” said Quintez as he fought to watch me and the road. When I took my fingers out my pussy and begun making circular motions over my clit, he swerved off the road. “Fuck,” he groaned out.

  “She’s so ready for you, daddy. She missed you so much.” I wasn’t at all lying. We both missed Quintez and was ready for him. I dreamed of this day; the day I would be with him again. I don’t know what would happen between us after tonight but, I was going to live in the moment.

  Chapter 15

  Quintez

  The End of Nothing!

  I wasn’t going to even say shit to Tang when I saw her walking out of the VIP section with my homie B. That’s why I just threw my hands in the air and moved to the side. I was going to let Kacey hand
le her ass. It was crazy because the whole time she danced with B, Kacey and me were looking over the rail watching her shake her ass on that nigga. Neither one of us liked it one bit.

  Unlike Kacey, I was bold enough to go down there and snatch her little ass up. She had me all the way fucked up if she thought I was going to let her disrespect me like that; her and B both. He was my nigga and I fucks with him the long way, but he was about to get a beat down.

  I wasn’t even planning on bringing her to my crib, but she was looking too good in that dress for me to leave her there for other niggas to come on to her. Then when she uttered that bullshit out her mouth about not fucking with me or Kacey, I had to prove her wrong. When I was touching on her in the parking lot of the club, I intended on bringing her here and fucking the shit out of her.

  I don’t know what kind of effect Tang had on me, but it was like, she had a nigga going against his own word for her. Like, when we first hooked up. I told myself that this little thing was only going to be a fuck thing; nothing more, nothing less. I also told myself that I would be able to walk away with no problem. But what do I do? My ass fell in love with her. My mama tried to warn me that that was going to happen but I didn’t want to listen to her. Thinking back, I wished I’d listened to my brother when he told me to leave this fucking girl alone. That would’ve been the best advice he’d ever given me.

  The thing with me, I hated when a muthafucka tried to tell me what I needed or didn’t need to do. I’m stubborn so I hate listening to folks—whether they’re wrong or right.

  Looking over at her as she slept, I shook my head. As of nowadays, Kacey had become my nigga and I didn’t want to go back down that road with us beefing. However, I didn’t want to let this good woman pass me by. I knew Tang was a good woman; she was just confused and didn’t want to follow her heart. I knew it was with me. I just needed for her to accept it and be done with Kacey for good.

  “What’s wrong?” I felt Tang’s hand caressing my cheek, bringing me out my trance. I didn’t know how long she had been awake or how long I’d been staring at her, but she was now fully awake and staring right back at me. Taking her hand, I kissed it, smiled, and told her that nothing was wrong. I moved a string of hair that was in her face as she was saying, “Obviously it is. I mean, you wouldn’t even touch me when we got here. On the way here, you were talking like you was about to tear some shit up but we get here and it’s a whole different story.”