by Tynessa
Going into my room, I took out a pen and my notebook and did as my therapist once told me to do. I wrote down all the things Kacey has done to hurt me versus all the things Quintez had done. When I couldn’t think of a single thing that Quintez done, tears mustered in my eyes. Why couldn’t I just give him my all then?
I wiped my eyes and got myself together before grabbing my phone. Going to the contact I was looking for, I stared at his number for a while then hit send, after building up my nerves to call Quintez. See, Quintez was the type that once he was done fucking with you, he was done. I know I’d hurt him with the shit I said so I didn’t know what to expect from this man. Hell, I would be surprise if he answered the phone. That thought was cut short when I heard what sounded like the TV playing in the background followed by a female voice saying, “Hello.”
To say I was shocked would’ve been an understatement. Quintez didn’t play about his phone, so I was a little taken aback with this broad answering his shit. My whole body was burning with fire and I was pissed to the highest level. Taking the phone from my ear, I just had to make sure I’d dialed the right number.
After seeing I did, I said, “Um, I must’ve dialed the wrong number.”
When ol’ girl paused, I thought maybe she was handing Quintez the phone, but this bitch said, “Oh, I guess you did!” And the ho hung up.
Now, I knew without a doubt that Quintez had my number programmed in his phone. I would be wrong if I go over there and beat her lying ass. Counting down from ten, I took a deep breath and released it slowly. I know I shouldn’t even be mad but fuck that, I was. Just when I was about to call him and explain why I felt that way for Kacey, his ass was laid up with another bitch. It seemed like I couldn’t catch a damn break.
Kacey was with his girl and their kids, while Quintez was somewhere laying up letting hoes answer his phone and shit. I couldn’t win for losing.
Chapter 18
Rachel
Emotional Rollercoaster!
As I lay in this hospital bed, I watched Kacey as he slept. He hadn’t left my side since I had our daughter last night and that gave me every reason to still have hope for us. Although deep down in my heart I knew we would be coming to an end soon. Kacey had begun staying out more and it was so unusual for him to do that without Lil’ Kace, unless he was making his drug run, or something that had to do with drugs. He wouldn’t dare have our son around that environment. I knew it had to be another woman and the first hoe that came to my mind was Tan. That was before I found out it was a white bitch.
Yes, I found out Kacey was dealing with a white chick one day I was following him, almost three weeks ago. I followed him to her house on more than one occasion. For three nights, I’d sit outside of her house until he came out the next morning. I would sit inside my car fighting with myself if I wanted to go knock on that tramp’s door or not. I didn’t want to lose my baby and that’s the only reason I didn’t. Now that Kassidy was born, it was whatever. I’m not losing my man to some skinny white bitch.
“While you staring at me, you don’t hear her crying?” I was so caught up with Kacey’s cheating ass on my mind that I didn’t even hear my baby crying. Kacey was now sitting up wiping the sleep out his eyes. Just as I reached for Kassidy, he pulled her little bed over towards him. “Don’t try to grab her now. Fuck you watching me sleep for?”
When he asked that, I began to cry. I have never been this weak for a man. I didn’t know if it was because Kacey and me shared kids together or what, but I didn’t want to lose him. I felt I needed him. I didn’t want to feel this way but I couldn’t help it.
“Why do you treat me like this, Kacey? What did I do so wrong that you have to cheat on me?”
He wouldn’t even look up at me. He continued to position the baby so that he could feed her as he shook his head. He mumbled something underneath his breath but I couldn’t make out what it was he said.
“All I want you to do is love me, Kacey. We have kids together but you would rather stay out all night with that bitch than to be with your family.” I guess I hit a nerve when I called him out on his cheating.
“With what fucking bitch? Damn! Don’t start all this shit because I’ll walk my ass right up out this room. That’s why my ass stays out all fucking night because you always on some fuck shit. You won’t let a muthafucka breathe! Yo’ own three-year-old son don’t even wanna be around yo’ ass, so what makes you think my grown ass wanna be there with yo’ crazy ass?”
“Crazy! I’m crazy because I know all about your cheating. Well guess what? I’ll be fucking crazy!”
This nigga had the nerve to look at me like I was really crazy when I said that.
“So who am I cheating on you with, dumbass? Jay, B or Tez? Tell me because I wanna know.” His stupid ass was sitting up there like he really wasn’t cheating and if I wouldn’t have seen the shit with my own eyes, I would’ve been questioning myself. I wasn’t about to let him sit there and insult my intelligence though.
“Probably them too, but I do know all about that fucking white bitch whose house you been going over. Spending the night like you stay there or paying bills in that muthafucker.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like shit.
Was this Karma? Now I knew how much it must’ve affected Tan when she found out Kacey cheated on her with me. But in my defense, I didn’t even know she existed until after I had Lil’ Kace. Kacey was the asshole that lied to the both of us. However, I could’ve ended our relationship when I found out about them, but I was too far gone over him. Now, he was cheating on me with someone else. Some would say I was getting just what I deserved, but I didn’t think I deserved any of this. Kacey was just as much at fault as I was, so where was his Karma? Why is he getting a slap on the wrist?
Kacey didn’t even show any facial expression at the mention of the white girl or anything. It was as if he didn’t even care that I knew about her.
“So, you not going to say anything? You just going to keep right on feeding Kassidy, not even caring that I know? You don’t wanna know how I found out or anything? I mean, talk. What? You know you’re doing me dirty so you letting your guilty conscience get the best of you. Is that it, Kacey?”
“Ain’t shit getting the best of me! I know what I’m out here doing just like you do. You just said it, so what do you want me to say? I’m not going to say I’m not seeing her because I would be lying but I am going to say this—I ain’t paying her bills. She got her own money so she don’t need the little change I got.” Even though I had already seen it with my own eyes, it killed me to hear Kacey admit he was talking to that girl. It broke my heart worse than seeing it.
“Wow… So it is true then?” I asked dumbly. I didn’t want to accept what my eyes had seen.
“Look, what do you want from me? It’s fucking three in the morning. I ain’t about to do this with you right now. You just had a damn baby; I would think your crazy ass would wanna get some rest instead of trying to start a damn argument. I swear to God, I’m so tempted to go home and pack me and my kids’ shit and leave you in that damn house to argue with yourself.” The whole time Kacey calmly spoke, he was placing Kassidy back in her little bed. By the time he finished with his last sentence, he’d gathered his things.
“Oh, I’ma show you and that bitch crazy! You got another thought coming if you think I’m going to let you take my kids and be with that hoe. You see you didn’t live a happy life with Tan while me and my son played the background like you thought.” When he turned to face me with a mug, I smirked. This nigga had me real fucked up if he thought I would let him get away with the shit he was doing to me.
“Was that a threat?”
“Baby, take it how you want to! Just know it ain’t gon’ happen.” I was looking his ass dead in the eyes. I was trying to keep the serious look on my face, but I felt the tears ready to fall at any time. Kacey just stood there bobbing his head up and down before turning and walking out the door. It wasn’t a minute after he’d closed
it, I covered my face with the baby blanket I was holding and cried. I was sick of this emotional ass rollercoaster Kacey continuously took me on. Shit, if I would’ve known he was going to act the way he does, I would have without a doubt walked away when I first found out about Tan.
Chapter 19
Quintez
Attached!
I was on my way to Jay’s house when my phone started buzzing. It was Grisela calling and being that I’d just dropped my daughter off thirty minutes ago, I wondered what on earth did she wanted. I tried not to miss any of her calls when she had our daughter, because anything could’ve been wrong.
“What’s up?” I answered. I heard talking in the background. Someone was coaching her to breathe. “Hello,” I said once again.
“Yeah-Yeah, Tez, this Ricky. Grisela wanted you to come back at Jaz because she might be going into labor.” I frowned when he spoke. I really didn’t like her little boyfriend around my baby, but being that it was her dude and the father of her unborn, I couldn’t do shit about it. Plus, he worked out of town, so it wasn’t like he was there every day. I would’ve kept my daughter today but I was on my way to this damn cookout at my brother’s crib, then we had plans to hit the club later, so I had no other choice but to take her home.
I rubbed the top of my head and blew out a frustrating breath. Hitting my signal, I got over in the turning lane to make a U-turn. I really wished they would’ve called me before I passed the house. I hated backtracking.
“Aight, man. I’m on my way.” I ended the call. Not even ten minutes later, I was pulling in Grisela’s driveway. I guess ol’ boy was looking out the window because before I could get out, he was carrying my daughter out. “What’s up lil’ mama? I need to grab her a few diapers and an outfit. I was headed somewhere when you called and I ain’t about to go back home,” I let him know.
Jazlyn never needed a bag when she came to my house because I had everything there for her. My baby girl had her own car seat in my car; clothes, shoes and diapers at the house, down to her own bed. She had a black Cinderella theme going on inside her bedroom because that’s exactly what she was, my little Cinderella.
“Oh. You can grab whatever you need while I help Grisela in the car,” he suggested over his shoulder while I followed him inside the house. Ricky was the total opposite of me. He was a geeky type of dude. A tall, light skin, skinny nerd with glasses no one I would’ve guessed her to talk to, let alone have a baby by. As long as he didn’t mistreat her or my daughter, then that’s all that mattered.
Once I collected baby girl’s clothes, I wished them luck then Jazlyn and me were on our way.
When I finally made it to Jay and Asia’s house, the street was packed with cars. We had closed our “business” and all the squad had gathered here. This is the reason I didn’t want my daughter here. Then Keonna was with Asia’s parents for a week so I knew I wouldn’t be here too long.
“Hey auntie’s pretty girl,” Asia chimed as she grabbed Jazlyn out my arm. Her and Tang was sitting in the kitchen talking amongst themselves. “I didn’t know you was bringing her. You should’ve told me; I would have made Keonna wait until tomorrow to go with my mom.”
“Shit, I didn’t know either. Her mama went into labor when I was on the way here so I had to turn around and go back at her. Since I got her, I ain’t staying long. Just going to go holla at my brother then we’re leaving.” The whole time I was talking to Asia, Tang was looking dead at me. It was funny because the moment I looked her way, she cut her eyes as if she didn’t want me to know she was looking at me. “See something you like?” I asked her. Of course, she didn’t say anything. The embarrassed expression on her face caused me to chuckle and walk on outside.
I walked out back to find my brother on the grill. He was taking shots and talking shit. I couldn’t believe his ass was actually getting married. To be honest, I thought I would jump the broom before that fool. My brother had come a long way because a year and a half ago, that muthafucka couldn’t keep his dick in his pants for shit. But here he was about to marry the only woman that was strong enough to tame his ass. I was truly happy for the both of them.
“What’s cracking, y’all?” I said when I walked over. I dapped my brother, Kace, B and a couple of other niggas that was on the team. “What y’all over here lying about?”
“Man, this nigga trying to tell me that Kobe’s whack ass is better than Lebron.” My brother was a big ass Lebron fan. Like, he didn’t play about that nigga and hated when anyone would compare him to Kobe. He hated Kobe’s ass with a passion. Football was my thing so this was one conversation that I wasn’t about to get into.
“Kobe is better than that crybaby ass nigga. How many rings Kobe got?” a guy by the name of Markus said. We called him Mark for short though.
Jay waved him off. “Man, all that shit don’t matter! Every time you turn around, y’all muthafuckas always hollering about rings. Fuck a damn ring! A damn ring don’t make him better than Lebron James. Let they ass play one on one and watch the muthafucka get burned.” I swear this nigga be taking this shit to the heart. But I’m the same way about my Falcons and hearing Jay say that had me adding my two cents in their conversation.
“Bro, you the same way with the Falcons. You always hollering about they ain’t got a ring,” I laughed.
Jay cut his narrow eyes at me and snorted. “Man, ain’t nobody talking about they sorry ass.” When he angrily said that, I threw both hands in the air and backed away. I didn’t have time to go back and forth with him.
I stood by and listened to them argue about that shit for another ten minutes before heading back inside to check on my baby. Jay and Mark would do this shit every time they got together. Argue about the same shit for hours. Neither one would back down.
“Where my lil’ mama at?” I asked Asia, seeing that she wasn’t in the kitchen with her. Asia was at the sink washing meat and stuff like that.
“Oh, Tan took her to Keonna’s room to change her pamper. I hope it’s okay,” she said nervously. She knew I didn’t allow every and anybody to change my baby. I had a little girl so I had to keep a close eye on her.
Though Tang and me weren’t the best of friends right now, I knew she wouldn’t harm my baby girl. I trusted her. “Aight,” was all I said as I headed to Keonna’s room.
Standing in the doorway, I watched as Tang and Jazlyn played with Keonna’s dolls. They were just talking and playing and it caused me to smile. The sight in front of me had me wishing I had a family. Had me wishing I had a rib. You know, a woman that I could come home to every night and the one to bear the other two kids I would love to have, but most of all, the woman to wear my last name for the rest of her life. I knew she was out there somewhere and I was patiently waiting for her. I needed a real woman in my life. Not a little ass girl that was still playing childish ass games—like Tang.
“Hey, lil’ mama. What you in here doing?” I finally spoke as I walked further into the room.
Tang gave me a weak smile and said, “Oh, I didn’t see you there. She had used the bathroom so I came back here to change her. I saw you talking to Jay and them so I didn’t want to interrupt you from having a good time.” I don’t know why she was acting all nervous and shit.
“Oh, you could’ve came and got me.” I picked my daughter up. “My lil’ mama comes before those niggas.” I kissed her cheek as she wiggled to break free. It shocked me when she ran over to Tang for her to pick her up.
“I didn’t mind. She is just so precious. Plus, we were having a good time playing. Ain’t that right, baby?” Tang lifted Jazlyn and gave her a peck on the forehead. “I really missed her while I was gone. You think she remembers me?”
“Yeah, you missed her so much you didn’t call once to check on her.”
“That don’t mean I didn’t miss her. And FYI, just because I didn’t call you doesn’t mean I wasn’t checking up on her. Asia used to let me know how she was doing.” She rolled her eyes at me.
Befor
e Tang up and left, we were together for a few months. Jazlyn had even gotten attached to her at only a few months old, and she just left like that. Now that Jazlyn was older, I didn’t want her getting attached to nan one of my female friends because Tang has taught me that they would up and disappear on her.
“Yeah, I bet. Come on, you ready to go lil’ mama?” I reached out for Jazlyn and her lil’ ass turned away from me.
“No daddy!” she said to me. Tang thought it was funny. Me, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling that shit.
“Girl, bring your lil’ ass on so we can go.” Against her will, I got her out Tang’s arms. Her lil’ ass was screaming and hollering like somebody was killing her. “Jazlyn, you ‘bout to get a damn whooping.” Now, I usually don’t whoop her, but she was showing her ass.
“Why don’t you just let me keep her, Quintez. I thought y’all was going out tonight anyways. I’m not doing anything and it’s obvious that she don’t want you.” Stretching her arms out, Jazlyn fell into her arms.
“Man, Jaz, you tripping,” I said as I mushed the side of my baby’s head. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”
“I know. I just want to. I get bored over there.”
