What Hurts the Most 4

by Tynessa

  I didn’t say anything right away. I just stared at her through narrowed eyes. “You not gon’ have no company or no shit like that are you?” No, that wasn’t my way of seeing if Kacey or any other nigga would be there. I simply didn’t want my daughter around no other man without me or her mama’s supervision.

  She sighed heavily as her eyes went up in her head. “No, Quintez. I wouldn’t dare have her around a dude. You know better than that.”

  “I’m just making sure. Just let me know when you get ready to leave so I can get her car seat out my truck.” Thank God I grabbed her a few extra diapers, shoes and outfits from her mama’s house.

  It was getting late and damn near everybody had left. We decided to not go to the club because we all were damn near fucked up. Before Tang left, I let her know that I wasn’t going out and she didn’t have to take Jazlyn home with her, but her nor Jazlyn was going for that.

  “Yo’ Jay, I’m about to head on out man. You good?” I walked over to where him, Kace and the white girl that Kace had brought, were at. I’d met her before so I already knew her; Jay and me both.

  “Hell yeah I’m good. Hold up, I’m ‘bout to walk you out.” I said my goodbyes to the few other niggas that was there before my brother and me headed out.

  Chapter 20

  Asia

  Hidden Secrets!

  I had pretty much been in the house majority of the day. I didn’t feel like putting up with Jay’s rowdy friends and it was one in particular that I was trying to avoid. I didn’t even know why Jay’vion invited him over anyways. This was supposed to have been a small gathering and his dumbass wanted to change it up at the last minute and invite the whole damn crew. I busied myself with washing and seasoning meat, cleaning, talking to Tan and playing with Jazlyn. Whatever I could do to keep from going outside. Jay would come in every once in a while to love on me and to try to get me to go outside, but a bitch wasn’t budging.

  I had been able to avoid Mark for years and now this nigga wanted to bring his drunk ass in my house fucking with me. He was trying to get me and him both killed.

  Tan had left and I was in the kitchen alone putting things in the refrigerator when this nigga walked in. When I heard his raggedy ass voice say, “Mmm, look at all that ass,” I stood up straight. He laughed and walked his drunk self over to me. “After all these years, I never forgot how I tore that shit up from the back.”

  My eyes went up in my head before I turned around and was greeted by his cocky smile. I had to take a deep breath and count to five to keep from slapping his ugly ass. Well, he wasn’t ugly, I just couldn’t stand his ass.

  “Mark, could you please take your ass back on out there and don’t say shit to me. Are you fucking crazy?”

  I knew I should’ve never fucked this nigga. I had been able to erase those memories out my head, but I just had a feeling it would come back and bite me in my own ass, and I think today was that day.

  “Nah, I ain’t crazy!” Walking over to me, he ran his hand down the side of my face, and it trailed down the right side of my body. I felt disgusted. I didn’t want this fool touching me. I cut my eyes at the back sliding door to make sure no one was there. “I really thought we could’ve had something, Asia. After all the shit this muthafucka done did to you, you still went back to him.”

  “Get away from me, Mark.” I pushed him back. “You’re disrespecting my house. And you knew it wasn’t going to be shit between us. I never gave you a reason for you to believe I would want a relationship with you. You are Jay’vion’s friend so why would I want a relationship with you? Are you trying to get me and you both killed?”

  “And I was his homeboy the day we fucked. I was his homeboy the day you called and told me you was pregnant. I can’t believe you really gon’ marry that nigga. Jay ain’t fit for a husband. You can’t mold that nigga to be who you want him to be. He will always be the same ol’ Jay—a dog ass nigga!”

  I really couldn’t believe this dude was actually standing in Jay’s house taking shots at him. His so called homeboy was dogging him out as if he wasn’t the one putting food in his mouth. If it wasn’t for Jay and Tez, this fool wouldn’t even have food to eat, let alone be standing here dogging my boo out with a pair of two-hundred dollar Jays on.

  “Well, believe it! I’m marrying Jay and there’s nothing you or nobody else could ever say to change that. And I’m not trying to mold him to be anything other than himself. So please don’t stand here and disrespect him in my face. I’m tempted to go get him just so he could put his foot in your ass and we both know you don’t want that.”

  When I said that, Mark laughed as if I had just told a joke.

  “And we both know you ain’t gon’ do that. You know how I know?” he asked but answered his own question. “Because you would have to tell him that you fucked me. Not only did you fuck me, but you got pregnant.”

  By now, my chest was heaving up and down. I knew if Jay found out about my secret, he would leave my ass.

  Placing my hand on my forehead, I said, “Please don’t bring that up.” This shit just couldn’t be happening right now, I thought to myself. What is wrong with this guy? Is this how niggas act when they get on that drink? Can’t hold their liquor. I swear they act like bitches, love to run their mouth.

  “I should’ve been brought it up. That shit was wrong Asia. I told you not to abort my fucking baby but you did it anyways. I didn’t give you the money and you don’t work, so how did you get it?”

  I opened my mouth to tell him that he didn’t need to worry about how I got the money, just know it happened but nothing came out. That was because the sound of Jay’vion’s voice, causing me to turn to look at him and Tez standing there.

  “Nigga, I gave her the money!” The mug on Jay’s face had me ready to make a dash out the front door. My body was frozen and I couldn’t move though. I just closed my eyes and welcomed death because I knew I was about to die.

  Chapter 21

  Jay’vion

  Never Keeping Secrets!

  I had just walked up with my brother when I heard Mark say he told Asia not to abort his baby. Now, I could recall a time when she had me to pay for an abortion that I begged her ass to not have also. Now I know why she was so hell bent on having the muthafucka. I wasn’t for sure if that was the time she was pregnant by him, but it was all making sense now. She wouldn’t have aborted the baby had it been mine.

  I prayed that I had heard this nigga wrong but after my brother had looked at me with the same shocked expression I displayed on my face, I knew I’d heard him right. It felt like a stab in the chest. The pain I was feeling at the moment was one that I’d never endured before, other than when my mama died.

  I wanted to hear more but I had to make my presence known.

  The look on Asia’s face when I said, “Nigga, I gave her the money!” Yeah, she wasn’t expecting me to hear that. Seeing the guilty look on her face caused me to snap. Rushing over to her, I grabbed a handful of her hair that was freshly sewed-in, and wrapped my hand around her neck. I squeezed as tightly as I could as I lifted her off the floor. Her eyes were about to pop out her head and she was clawing at my hand to release her. “Bitch, I’ma kill yo’ ass.”

  I wasn’t even thinking about going after Mark’s bitch ass, for the simple fact, I knew I would see him soon.

  I felt a powerful hit to the left side of my head that caused me to release the grip I had on Asia. I turned around just in time to see my brother bring his foot up and bash it into Mark’s side causing him to fall into the counter before hitting the floor.

  “Nigga, you got me fucked up if you thought I was ‘bout to stand here and let you hit my brother,” Tez said as his foot connected with Mark’s face.

  Hearing this nigga had just hit me angered me all the more. I pushed my brother out the way and went to work on this nigga. Asia’s screams for me to stop could be heard but I wasn’t trying to hear her. She was lucky it wasn’t her that I was stomping out.

&
nbsp; “Bro, chill out before you kill the nigga,” I heard Tez say as he was pulling me away from Mark. I felt more than just his pair of hands on me. I didn’t know who was helping him, nor did I care.

  “Get the fuck off me! This nigga just said he fucked my bitch and you telling me to calm down… Fuck him!” I reached at the small of my back to grab my gun, but Tez quickly got to it before me. “Yo’ dog, give me my shit back.” In a way, I prayed that Tez wouldn’t because I had every intention of blowing Asia and this nigga’s brains out. I swear I did.

  “Man, come on bro. You know I ain’t about to let you kill this nigga right here in front of all these folks,” Tez tried to reasons with me.

  “This muthafucka ain’t gon’ be the only one I kill in this muthafucka.” I was looking dead at Asia when I said that. “You think I’ma let you get away with this shit? Huh? I changed for you and this how you treated me. Your hoe ass fucked this lame ass nigga.” Being that I wasn’t that far from Asia, I reached out and yanked her over to me by her hair. I was so fucking mad that I was spitting all in her face with each word I spoke.

  She was sobbing so hard that nothing was coming out of her opening and closing mouth. That pissed me off, but it hurt more to stand here and look in her face when she’s the one that caused me to feel the way I now felt. Like someone had ripped my heart into pieces. I now knew how she must’ve felt when I was out doing her wrong. Even so, it didn’t stop me from wanting to wring her neck.

  “Jay, chill out man. Let that damn girl go before you hurt her. This is your fiancée, nigga.” I was really getting sick of Tez’s ass. The way I was feeling right now, this nigga better shut the fuck up talking to me and let me go before I end up fucking his ass up.

  “This hoe ain’t shit to me! Not only was she fucking with this muthafucka but she got pregnant by him too.” I swear I was on the verge of crying. That’s how hurt I was. I would’ve never guessed Asia was capable of doing something like this to me. “Get this muthafucka out my gotdamn house.” Hocking up a big gawk of spit, I spit it right in Mark’s unconscious ass face. I had no respect for this nigga and if I didn’t kill his ass next time I seen him, I would beat his ass every time I saw him from now on. Even if Asia and me didn’t stay together after this, he would be the cause of our breakup.

  While still holding me, Tez looked over at B, Kace and another one of our homeboys, Paul, and ordered them along with everyone else to leave.

  Once the house was clear, Tez asked, “Man, you good? If I let you go, you ain’t gon’ put your hands on that girl, is you?”

  I wasn’t going to make no promises but I would damn sure try not to. “Nah, I’m good. I just wanna get my shit so I can leave. I ain’t got shit to say to her.”

  “So, you not going to talk to me about it Jay? You’re just going to leave? We’re having a wedding in a few weeks. How are you going to leave without hearing what I have to say?” Asia said through her sobs. She was crying so hard, that I could barely understand her.

  “Wedding?” I looked at her ass in disgust. After hearing this shit, there won’t be no wedding. “I wish I would marry yo’ ass! You marry that muthafucka that got you pregnant cause I ain’t marrying yo’ ass. You been so busy calling me out on my dirt that you forgot to mention yo’ own shit.” I started to walk off but turned back around to face her. “Fucking my homeboy? The nigga that trap for me?! At least you could’ve cheated on me with a boss.” Instead of upgrading, her ass downgraded. “I hope that nigga was worth it.” That was the last thing I said before walking out the door with my brother right behind me.

  I didn’t have my keys, no clothes or anything; just my wallet. I headed straight to Tez car and got in. I didn’t have to let him know that I would be staying with him, but he knew. Neither one of us said anything the whole ride to his crib. Once we were there, I sat on the couch and prepared to roll myself a blunt. I was so pissed that my hands were trembling so damn bad, making it hard to roll the muthafucka. My legs were even shaking.

  “Man, you need help with that?” Tez asked me. He stretched his hand out, reaching for the unrolled blunt.

  I didn’t even look towards his way as I sucked my teeth and said, “Man, just go make me a damn drink.” I wanted to get fucked up to numb the pain Asia had caused. I was still in disbelief that she’s slept with that bum ass nigga.

  After a while, Tez returned with the whole bottle of Patrón and two glasses. I loved the fact that my brother was here by my side and willing to hear the shit I was about to ramble on about. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever. I didn’t know what was on Tez’s mind, but I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Asia was sleeping with Mark. Like, when did she have time to fuck with this nigga?

  “Damn bruh… I wanna know how long that shit been going on. Man, that’s why that nigga Mark always bringing up sports and shit. Have you noticed every time he’s around, he starts an argument over some bullshit ass basketball?” my brother finally spoke up. His ass only added more fuel to the fire.

  Now that I think about it, Mark would purposely bring up Lebron James just to piss me off. He knew how I thought that nigga was the best in the NBA and he would constantly down talk my boy. I take that shit to the heart and it had been plenty of times I’d cursed his ass out for that, but it never failed. When he would see me, he would do the same shit. Now I know why. It was his way of causing beef between us because he was fucking my lady.

  “You know what, I didn’t even think of that shit.” I chuckled as I lit the blunt. I let the smoke fill my lungs nice and good before releasing it. “They got my ass real good, man. I swear I never would’ve suspected that. This shit had to start years ago.”

  When I said that, Tez looked at me with a shocked expression before taking the blunt I was passing him out my hand. “You think that shit been going on for that long?”

  “I mean, I don’t know if they still fucking now or what. But reason I say back then is because I remember this one particular time—almost two years ago, I paid for her muthafuckin’ ass to have a gotdamn abortion. I begged Asia to keep the damn baby but she was kicking it like she wasn’t ready to be a mother, and saying some bullshit about how I needed to grow up before we had a baby. The bitch was even talking ‘bout I had to put a ring on her finger in order for her to even consider raising a family with me.” By now I had burst out laughing as I recited the words Asia said to me. I really wanted her to have that damn baby. I was damn near on my knees begging her to have another muthafucka’s baby. “Imagine if she would’ve had that damn baby, bruh.” I couldn’t do shit but shake my head.

  Now I knew why she would continuously accuse me, even when I was trying to do right by her, because her ass was out doing me wrong.

  “Well, I know you’re happy she did get that abortion. Maybe she didn’t tell you to spare your feelings Jay. So, the wedding is really off? Like, you ain’t gon’ even go see what she has to say?” Tez questioned me. I looked at him like he’d grown two heads. Why would I marry someone that’s been smashing my homeboy behind my damn back? She’d made a fool out of me once and I’d be damned if I let her do it again.

  “Why would I marry her after all this shit? She didn’t just fuck him, but she got pregnant by the nigga. And my stupid ass paid for the damn abortion. She had me pleading for her to keep another nigga’s baby instead of telling me that it wasn’t mine.”

  “But I still think you should talk to her. I mean, I really feel where you coming from and yeah, I do. But come on now Jay, this is the woman you love. You can’t just call the wedding off like that without talking to her about it. Look at all the times she took you back. You told me yourself how you used to dog her out.” I didn’t like how this nigga was trying to justify what Asia had done. Tez knew if he was in this predicament then he would be acting the same way.

  “But the difference between me and Asia, I ain’t never fucked her friend or nobody she associates with. Never thought about it! Her and Mark both crossed a line that
muthafuckas don’t suppose to cross. They made their beds and now they both can lay in the bitch and make plenty of more babies because I’m done.” I ran my hand across my neck, indicating that I was cutting them both off. Fuck Asia and Mark both, and whoever else got a problem with my decision.

  I guess my brother got the point because he threw his hands in the air and stood up. “Well, you welcome to stay here for as long as you need to. I’m finna call it a night but if you need me, I’ll be upstairs in the room. Keep yo’ head up, bruh.” With that being said, he gave me a fist pound before disappearing up the stairs. I leaned back on the couch after grabbing the bottle of Patrón.

  I was about to drink until I couldn’t drink no more, just to keep from going back to that house and fucking Asia’s muthafuckin’ ass up.

  Chapter 22

  Kacey

  Could’ve Been Her!

  I blew out an exhausting breath when B got out my car. Being that we were supposed to have gone out tonight, he had Jay to scoop him up and after tonight’s altercation, he asked me to drop him back off at home. When he got out, it was like Melody and me released the breath we’d been holding since we’d left Jay’s house.

  “Wow. Um, I wasn’t expecting all that,” Melody said to me. Hell, to be honest, I wasn’t either. Asia fucking Mark? That’s some shit that would’ve never crossed my mind. I know my nigga Jay is fucked up behind that. That’s a hurtful feeling to find out your homeboy is fucking your woman. That was one road I wasn’t trying to go back down.

  “Man, who you telling.” I don’t know why, but I felt I owe her an apology. “I’m sorry about all that. Had I known some shit like that was gon’ jump off I would have never invited you.”

  I glanced over at Melody as she fondled the side of my face. Her touch was so soft. “I know you had no idea baby, and it’s okay. It wasn’t no big deal. I just hope that guy’s girlfriend took him to the hospital. Geesh. They beat him up pretty badly.”