What Hurts the Most 4

by Tynessa

  Clearing my throat, I began to speak. “Good evening, everybody. First, I would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight.” I wiped the tears from my eyes as I mustered up a smile. I swallowed hard before continuing. “Unfortunately, there won’t be a—”

  “Asia baby, sorry yo’ man late.” When I heard those words and saw Jay’vion staggering in here, I breathed a sigh of relief as I closed my eyes and smiled. I didn’t care one bit that he was drunk. The fact that he came and saved me from embarrassment outweighed anything in this world. I didn’t say anything as he made his way to me. Tez was right behind him, but stopped a few inches from where me and Jay’vion now stood.

  “Excuse us everyone. Could we please have a minute to ourselves?” I said as I looked at the pastor of the church. He too was aware of everything that was going on. He pointed to his study for us to have some privacy. “I didn’t think you was coming,” I said to Jay once I had done closed the door. I wanted to jump in his arms and kiss all over his face, but I had to remind myself that we were at the church.

  “I wasn’t,” he said as he sat on the corner of the desk that was in there. “Just thank my brother and the shots of Henny I been taking. They helped me realize how much you mean to me.” He said that with a straight face.

  “Look Jay, the thing with me and Mark—” I started before he cut me off.

  Running his hand down his face, he said, “I don’t wanna hear it!” He couldn’t even look at me.

  “I know Jay but we have to talk about it. I know I should’ve told you but we were broken up and the day that it happened—” Once again, Jay’vion cut me off. Reaching over, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him. I could smell the liquor through his pores.

  “I don’t care! My brother told me everything and I don’t care. I just know that I can’t live without you. If you can be willing to marry me through all the pain that I’d caused you, then why can’t I still marry you? The shit hurts, but eventually that hurt will go away. I forgive you, Asia, and from this moment right here, I don’t want to even think about our past. Just like you let go of mine, I’m letting go of yours. Okay?” He didn’t even give me a chance to reply as he kissed my lips and slipped me the tongue. I swear, at this moment, I loved Jay’vion more than I ever had before and couldn’t wait to wear his last name.

  Chapter 26

  Tangela

  A Couple of Forever!

  Must not have been paying attention.

  I stepped right on in, didn’t even notice how deep I was.

  I went from the ground to the top of the cloud.

  And now as I look down, I see where I fell into your arms…

  Now I got love all over me… Baby, you touch every part of me…

  I watched as the double doors opened and my girl walked down the aisle looking breathtaking. Asia was sporting a mermaid bridal dress with a long train. She had her hair pinned up with a diamond filled tiara at the top. She was beautiful. Taking my eyes off Asia momentarily as I sang the song in my head, they went to Quintez. He was looking dead at me. I tried to look away but those piercing dark brown eyes of his had me in a trance. Not to mention, he was wearing the hell out of that damn tux. I swear it didn’t make no damn sense how fine this man was.

  Just as the song was coming to a stopping point, I looked over at Kacey and he, too, was staring at me. I gave him a smile and a wink. I still couldn’t believe that girl left him for dead like that. Maybe now that she is out the picture, we could finally get back to the way we were. But did I really want to go back down that road with him? I was always told, once a cheater, always a cheater.

  I was standing here throughout the whole damn wedding with mixed emotions going on. I still don’t know if I was crying because my girl was actually tying the knot or what.

  “You may now kiss your beautiful bride,” I heard the Reverend say, bringing me out my daze. Once Jay’vion and Asia had finished tonguing one another down, they walked down the aisles as everyone cheered. Quintez locked his arm with mine and we walked out behind them. Outside, we got in the limo and headed to the hotel ballroom where the reception was being held.

  I was sitting at the table with Asia’s mom talking about how nice the wedding was and when was I gonna find a man. I swear, I loved this woman to the death of me, but her ass was so damn nosey. She was always in my personal business.

  “So, what about Kacey? I know you were saying how he still has a piece of your heart. Have you spoken to him?” she was saying as she stared in another direction. I followed her gaze and saw that she was looking over where Kacey was standing, along with Quintez, B and Asia’s father. I hurried and turned my head back to her.

  “No, I haven’t spoken to him about it,” I replied with a heavy sigh. “Kacey is seeing someone right now and I’m not trying to come between them.” Kacey being with another woman didn’t have anything to do with me not letting him know what was on my mind. It was Quintez. My feelings towards him were very high also. I never talked to Asia’s mom about Quintez so she had no idea.

  She pressed her lips together before speaking again. “Well, if you feel he has your heart then I think you should let him know. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you wouldn’t have to walk around with the what if’s eating at your heart. But, I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. That man loves you and I could tell that he is truly sorry for what he done to you. You know how much I love you and Kacey both. I consider you as my daughter and Kacey is the son that I’d always wanted, but I’ma say this; if he did it once, he will do it again. The fact that he had another baby with this woman instead of trying to make it work with you, that should tell you something right there.” Gathering her things, she stood to leave. Before she walked off, she placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “Now, you can let it go in one ear and out the other or you can count him as a lesson learned and let go of the idea of still being in love with him.”

  I sat at the table thinking about what she had just said. Part of it was the truth. I mean, Kacey did try to make it work with me, but I kept pushing him back and it’s beginning to take a toll over my body. I was tired of fighting the way I felt and I was ready to let everything out and be happy for once. I was willing to take a gamble with love once again and I was putting my past behind me, tonight.

  Once the reception ended, I asked Kacey to drop me off at home. Quintez had left early with his date and I was really in my feelings about it. But hey, there was nothing I could do. When we got to my apartment, I asked him to come inside so that I could talk to him. Kacey’s arm was still in a sling, but for the most part, he was doing well.

  “Why you didn’t bring your girl with you tonight?” I asked just to make conversation. Kacey informed me that she was out of town due to death being in the family and I just nodded my head. “Where are the kids?” Since Rachel was in jail for attempted murder, Kacey had custody of them. Part of me wanted to tell his ass that’s exactly what he gets for fucking with her in the first place.

  “Oh, they at ol’ girl’s sister house. I didn’t want to be carrying the baby around all day.”

  I looked at his ass like he was crazy. “At what auntie’s house?” I asked him.

  “Rachel’s sister house. I have to bring my daughter over so you can meet her,” Kacey said as he looked down in shame. He then looked back up at me. “I know you probably don’t want to, but I would love it if you would accept her.”

  “I have no problem with meeting her, Kacey.”

  “But will you accept her?”

  Kacey was being ridiculous right now. Of course I would accept an innocent child. Plus, we weren’t together when she was conceived. If I would not accept anyone, it would’ve been his son.

  “Didn’t I accept Lil’ Kace?” I said with a chuckle. “I would love to meet her. I saw the picture of her when she was first born. She is a cutie.” There was a moment of silence before I spoke again. “I guess we both fucked up, huh?”

  With a nod of his h
ead, Kacey said, “Yeah, we did.”

  “You know, for the longest I kept telling myself that my heart still belonged to you. I told myself that up until tonight. Gosh, I love you so much, Kacey, I really do.” When I said that, Kacey slid over closer to me. Grabbing me by the back of my head, he kissed me. The kiss was so passionate and it felt like he had put everything from his heart into that kiss. I kissed him back, and even put my all into it. When we finally broke our kiss, I didn’t feel anything—not a thing, and it made it so much easier for me to say, “But I’m no longer in love with you. I wanted you to still have a piece of my heart so bad that I even believed that lie. I will always love you, but my heart isn’t at all with you.”

  Kacey had a look of disappointment in his eyes, but it didn’t last long. He mustered up a smile as he grabbed my hand. Kissing the back of it, he said, “You know how I feel about you, Tan. We fucked up… I fucked up… I fucked up bad and I already know you’ll never fully forgive me for that shit. I’ve already accepted the fact that we’ll never be together again because of my faults.” He then chuckled. “Your heart hasn’t been with me for a long time, Tan—way before you found out about Rachel. I just didn’t want to believe that someone had come along and stole it.”

  I felt bad because Kacey was really sitting here with tears in his eyes. Not that I didn’t before, but right now, I saw that he was truly hurt by his actions. Hell, by my actions too.

  “I’m sorry, Kacey. I just—” I didn’t even know what I was going to say, so when he cut me off, I breathed a sigh of relief.

  I started wiping at his tears when he began speaking. “It’s all good. I think me finding Melody helped me move on. You know, I talked to her about you and she said we needed closure. That’s the only way we could ever move on and I think she was right.” I just smiled because my therapist told me that a long time ago. I should’ve listened. “As bad as I hate to say it, the nigga Tez loves you. I know how you feel about him so now that we have closure, maybe y’all could finally, you know…”

  I just smiled as I leaned over and kissed Kacey lips. It felt like all I had been waiting for was the ‘okay’ from him.

  “Thank you, Kacey. I really needed this talk.” Giving him one final hug, I stood up. Grabbing my purse and keys, I said, “You can let yourself out.”

  I made a detour before heading to Quintez’s house. I guess that was his girl at the wedding with him, but I didn’t care. I needed to talk to him, and no it couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I had to get it off my chest while I had enough courage to do so.

  When I got there, all the lights were out and his truck he drove that day wasn’t in the driveway. I was just going to go inside and wait for him.

  I didn’t know how long I had been asleep, but I was awake to Quintez standing over me, shaking me. “How in the hell you get in my house?” he asked me. I sat up slowly and told him that I had stopped by Asia and Jay’s crib and he gave me the key. Their plane didn’t leave until the next morning so they were home. “Why you just didn’t call? What’s up?”

  I watched as Quintez walked over to the couch and took a seat. I was sitting in my usual spot when I came over, on the loveseat.

  “Sorry to come by unannounced. I just needed to talk to you while I had enough courage to do so.” He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me and the stare had me wanting to walk right out that front door. Come on, Tangela. You’ve come this far so spit it out, I coached myself. “I’m sorry for everything. I was afraid of being hurt once again that I didn’t want to accept how much love I really had for you. I’m so fucking in love with you, Quintez. Not with Kacey or any other man—but with you!” I walked over to where he sat and dropped down on my knees. I had tears falling down my face along with snot, but I didn’t care. He had an unreadable expression on his face but I grabbed his hand and continued talking. I was sure to give him eye contact. “I know I didn’t do it before but right here, right now, I’m letting you know that I am not in love with Kacey. You have my entire heart baby, and I promise with you is where I have always wanted to be from the moment I met you. I don’t wanna go another day without being with you.” By now, I was sobbing and kissing all over his hand, leaving tears and snot behind. Once again, I didn’t care. “I wanna marry you baby. Will you marry me?”

  My heart must’ve broken into a billion pieces when Quintez removed his hand out of mine. He leaped off the couch and began pacing the floor.

  “This shit ain’t cool, Tan. You see me with someone tonight and now you all in love and shit. What, you didn’t realize I supposedly have had your heart when I was chasing yo’ muthafuckin’ ass? Huh? It took you this long?” he yelled at me. I jumped up off the floor, still crying.

  “No it didn’t take me this long to realize how much I love you. It took me this long to realize that I didn’t want to go another day without you being in my life. I fucking love you, Quintez! Are you going to sit here and say that you don’t love me back?” When he sat down on the arm of the couch, placed his head in his hand and shook it, I walked in front of him and said, “Tell me Tez. Tell me that you’re no longer in love with me and I will leave right now. Tell me!” I shouted. I was becoming angry at this point.

  Looking back up at me, he said, “Man, why I feel like you only doing this shit because you saw me with ol’ girl tonight?”

  I grabbed his face and held it steady as I looked into his eyes. “I just needed closure from Kacey to move on. I got it… I got it Quintez, and I’m ready to start my life with you. Or are you going to tell me that you don’t want it so I can leave?” I prayed he wasn’t about to tell me that when he stood up.

  He looked down into my eyes and said, “I hate yo’ lil’ ass got me wrapped around yo’ finger. You know I love the fuck outta you, girl. I’ma ask you this though, you sure you over that nigga Kace?”

  Looking up into his eyes, I didn’t even crack a smile when I replied, “I’m over Kacey, baby. With you is where I wanna be.” It felt so good to have those words roll off my tongue. I’ve never meant something I’ve said as much as I meant that. I loved Quintez and couldn’t see myself being with anyone other than him. I don’t know where we would end up tomorrow, or a few weeks from now but right now, at this moment, I wanted this thing with us to last forever.

  Chapter 27

  Quintez

  All In God’s Plan!

  Dammit man! I really hated how much I loved this damn girl. I think she knows it too. That’s why her ass keeps walking in and out my life like it wasn’t shit. It’s all good though, because I knew she would come to her muthafuckin’ senses sooner or later. How does that saying go? Better late than never!

  “I love yo’ ass too fucking much, girl. Everything about you,” I said as I ran my hands down the side of her body. Placing my hands on her hips, I eased her back to look her over. I then took my bottom lip into my mouth and bit down on it. “You know you wearing the fuck outta this damn dress, don’t you?”

  She shyly smiled and mouthed, “Thank you!” My dick was already hard and I wanted her to feel it. It had been a long time since I’d been all in her guts and I was more than ready to take her ass upstairs and fuck the shit out of her. Still with my hands on her hips, I brought her forward as I pressed my dick against her. She just smiled as she wrapped her arms around me.

  Running my hands over her fat ass, I gripped it tight before smacking it. She always liked for me to smack her ass. Being that we were already kissing, she groaned and bit down on my bottom lip.

  “Can I get some of my dick tonight?” she asked me. I smiled as I rubbed our noses together. We had done stopped kissing, but our faces were so close that our lips were still touching.

  “Oh, so it’s your dick now?”

  “Hell yeah, it’s been mine. I fell off for a minute and let another bitch get close to you, but you know like I know it was still mine. I marked my territory the first night we had sex.” I had to laugh when she said that. My lil’ mama had much confidence. She was right
though. This been her dick since day one. “You laughing because you know it’s true. Just like this has always been yours.” She took my hand and placed it between her legs.

  My dick was throbbing and I wasn’t in the mood for all this talking. I scooped Tang off her feet and into my arms. She already knew what it was. The whole time I was carrying her up the steps, she was kissing and sucking all over my neck. Once we got to the bedroom, I roughly threw her down.

  I guess she was ready for the dick because she didn’t even give me a chance to undress her. Not a second after I threw her down, she hopped up and went for my pants. I just stood here, not even stopping her as she unfastened my belt buckle followed by my slacks and they fell to the floor.

  She then whipped by dick out my boxers and went to work. I loved her freaky side and the roughness.

  “Aw, shit girl,” I groaned out as my hand went to the back of her head. Throwing my head back, I closed my eyes as I wound my hips to her mouth. It was like she was making love to my dick with her tongue. “I swear you give the best fucking head, baby.”

  It was the truth. I didn’t know what it was that Tang was doing but the shit had me feeling like I had died and went to Heaven. Now, I done had some good head before; like, bitches would actually swallow my dick whole and here Tang is, can’t even take it all into her mouth, but had my toes curled. I don’t know if it was because I was emotionally and physically attached to her that had me thinking she was doing something special or what, but whatever it was, it had me floating on cloud nine and I didn’t want to come down.

  I opened my eyes to look down at her at the same time she was bringing my lil’ man out her mouth with a pop. I watched her as she began jerking it slowly while staring at it. Like, it looked as if she was really concentrating on what she was doing. The shit felt good nonetheless. Every now and then, she would kiss my mushroom tip or lick it. Even the little shit like that was driving me crazy.