Another Man's Child

by Anne Bennett

  His initial thought was that Billy was a sly old dog and the second was to wonder where the hell he met her, where he had a chance to meet her, because she was obviously more than a mere acquaintance he was pally with – that much was obvious even with limited light. Anyway, this impression was compounded when Billy suddenly drew to a halt and pulled the girl into the doorway of a small factory and when they kissed Andy realised he was close enough to hear the girl, whoever she was, moan.

  He felt guilty, as if he was spying, and Billy did have a perfect right to see anyone he wanted. After all he had his Celia, and he turned on his heel and went back up to Aston Cross and didn’t return to the boat for almost an hour.

  Billy was polishing up the tack for the morning and he looked up as Andy came in.

  ‘I didn’t expect you to stay out this late,’ he said. ‘And I must say you have a dirty, big grin on your face, like the cat that’s got the cream.’

  ‘Oh well, you see I found out about a few things today,’ Andy said and he told Billy about the name switch and how it was that Celia didn’t get his first letter at all and the other one had been given to the wrong person because of the name switch and that it had been burnt before Celia had seen it. ‘And there is a baby, a girl, but it was Lady Annabel’s not Celia’s, and she died giving birth to her so Celia and now Norah are caring for her. Henry thought his parents might have arranged for someone on the estate to bring her up, but they wanted nothing to do with Annabel’s child, even after her death.’

  ‘Can’t see that happening in my family,’ Billy said. ‘So, who was the father?’

  ‘Oh that’s the best yet,’ Andy said. ‘It was some houseguest who charged into Annabel’s room and raped her. And then when there were consequences he put all the blame on her and it couldn’t have been her fault. I mean, I have met her and she was like a child. She was only sixteen and she’d also had a very sheltered and lonely upbringing.’

  ‘A right rotter then.’

  ‘I’ll say,’ Andy said. ‘But if she hadn’t died what sort of life would she have had?’

  ‘I know what you mean and it is wrong that the woman always gets the blame,’ Billy said. ‘Still, now you know your girl’s in the clear. I presume you are together again?’

  ‘Sort of,’ Andy said. ‘I mean we are, but we are taking it slow because we have both changed since we arrived in England first. I’ve asked her to come over next Saturday afternoon. She wants to meet you. Can’t think why.’

  ‘Why not?’ Billy said with a grin. ‘Irresistible to women I am.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Andy remarked sarcastically. ‘I have to fight my way through the throng waiting for you on the towpath every day.’

  Billy’s laughter pealed out and Andy said with a wry grin, ‘You just see you behave yourself next Saturday. You try your so-called irresistible charms on Celia and you might find yourself lying flat on the towpath with a busted jaw. Celia is spoken for.’

  Billy wasn’t a bit bothered by Andy’s threat because it was just banter between them and it continued in this vein for some time. At any minute Andy expected Billy to tell him about the girl he had been with that night but when he didn’t he thought there might be some sort of problem. Anyway, Andy told himself as he turned in that night, it was Billy’s business and he was sure he would tell him in his own good time. And he fell asleep thinking of Celia.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Both Celia and Norah were surprised to see a van pulled up in front of the house on Wednesday and Henry sitting beside the driver.

  ‘Henry, what is it?’ Celia cried as she went to meet him with Norah behind her.

  ‘I’ve bought a Christmas tree,’ Henry said as the driver jumped down from the van and opened the door. He handed Henry garlands of ivy and holly with its bright red berries and shouldered the tree with apparent ease.

  ‘Where you be wanting this, guv?’

  ‘In the hall,’ Henry said, going ahead of him. ‘I’ll show you where.’

  ‘What you made you buy a tree?’ Celia asked as the man took his leave and Janey and Sadie came for a look.

  ‘Well it’s not that far from Christmas now.’

  ‘I know, it’s just …’

  ‘You think we should still be in mourning for Anna-bel?’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose,’ Celia said. ‘You don’t think that it’s a bit disrespectful?’

  ‘I did,’ Henry admitted. ‘That’s exactly what I did think but then I remembered how Annabel loved everything about Christmas and every year she would decorate the tree and I thought if we do it in her memory that would be showing her respect.’

  Celia nodded. ‘Yes, Henry,’ she said. ‘I can see that.’

  ‘So after dinner I will go into the attics and bring down the tree decorations that I have and the streamers for the room and we will get prepared for Christmas, if only for Grace’s sake.’ He was quiet a minute and then said, ‘Annabel has gone and she will always be missed and there will probably always be an ache in my heart when I think of her, but not celebrating Christmas will not bring her back.’

  Everyone in the house took their cue from Henry and while he saw to the tree, starting with a big pot of earth to sink it in, Grace was put to bed and Celia and Norah began to decorate the room and hallway. Sadie, coming in with a hot drink for them both just as they were finishing off, was very impressed for the room was festooned with streamers, swathes of holly decorated the fireplace while the ivy garlands were fastened to the walls and paper lanterns dangled from the ceiling where they spun in the heat from the fire.

  Henry too had made the tree very beautiful. He had a lot of shiny balls in different colours and glass animals and bows of silver and gold ribbon tied with red satin cord, a shimmering star had been placed on the top and set into every outer branch were candles and Celia knew when those were lit the tree would be transformed.

  ‘Well what do you think?’ Henry asked, standing back to admire his handiwork.

  ‘It’s beautiful, Henry,’ Celia said. ‘Wait till Grace sees it. I think you have made the right decision to decorate the house.’

  With the house decorated, Christmas seemed nearer than ever and the following morning, after feeding and changing Grace, Celia went into the dining room and decided to write to her mother. When Norah came in she explained what she was doing.

  ‘She’ll probably throw any letter you send away un-opened.’

  Celia gave a slight shrug. ‘Can’t help how she will react when she gets it,’ she said. ‘But I have to try. In the letter you sent to Mammy before you hightailed it to England, did you say that you were worried about me and why?’

  ‘Course,’ Norah said. ‘I didn’t want her to think I had left on a whim.’

  ‘I see that,’ Celia said. ‘But if I don’t write Mammy won’t know that you found me and that I am fine.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Norah said. ‘Never thought of that. In fact I’ll write too and explain why I am not coming back just yet.’

  ‘Do,’ Celia urged. ‘Because Mammy is bound to miss you too, finding out you had left when she’s just said goodbye to Dermot. I mean, on Christmas Day she will just have her and Daddy and Ellie and Sammy because Tom will probably go to Sinead’s house for at least part of the day.’

  ‘In a way you know Mammy has brought this upon herself.’

  ‘You know it’s Daddy makes the rules.’

  ‘More fool her accepting that state of affairs,’ Norah said. ‘You’d not catch me agreeing with my husband if I thought he was wrong.’

  ‘You’ll have to get one for yourself before you can be that categorical,’ Celia remarked cryptically. ‘Now are we going to discuss this all morning because Grace will soon be awake and that might mean at least one of us doesn’t get their letter written at all and I think Mammy would like to hear from both of us.’

  ‘You’re right,’ Norah said. ‘And I must write to Dermot too for I promised I would when I had news.’

  Celia took her time over that lette
r, issuing first a sincere apology for upsetting them all, but stressing that she truly cared for Andy McCadden and did not want to leave him and go to America.

  But as you wouldn’t listen or try to understand and had me locked in my room I had no option but to leave in the way I did. I would like you to know that Andy behaved like the gentleman I knew him to be and we have done nothing wrong. I actually secured live-in employment before I left the boat.

  She explained about meeting Annabel Lewisham and deviated from the truth slightly by explaining that she was a young widow and pregnant and so she was travelling from Ireland to her brother’s house as he was going to look after her. She made no mention of either her parents or her husband, nor of how long it took Andy to find work. She went on:

  Andy meanwhile got work on one of the barges and lives on board with the owner. Meanwhile my mistress died giving birth to her daughter, Grace, who I have been caring for ever since and that’s where Norah found me, but I’m sure she would tell you all in her letter. I would just like you to know that I love you all very much and think of you often, but though I regret leaving the way I did, I don’t regret leaving Ireland, because here I can meet with Andy openly. Please don’t be upset at this letter but you must try and see that when I marry it will be for life and I cannot tie my life to someone I don’t love and Andy McCadden is the one who holds my heart.

  This is written with all my love

  Celia

  The girls posted their letters that same day and Celia, at least, waited with great trepidation to see if their mother would reply.

  Both girls would have been surprised if they could have seen into their mother’s heart that day. Peggy had arrived home from Katie’s house on Tuesday evening and Norah’s first letter, which she had posted in Belfast, had arrived that morning and so was waiting for her behind the clock on the mantelshelf.

  She read it out with a heavy heart and while Dan raged about Norah’s selfishness and deceitfulness, Peggy wept for her and the burden she had carried alone. She knew why she had been so concerned about her sister – she would have been more than concerned herself if she’d had the information Norah had – but she hadn’t known because Dan had decreed Celia’s name couldn’t be mentioned in the house. So it had been up to Norah to devise a plan to travel to England alone and try and find her sister. Peggy sincerely hoped she did find her and that Celia was all right and she hoped that Norah would write and tell her for she wouldn’t rest till she knew both of her daughters were safe.

  Oh, but there were going to be some changes around here, she decided then and there. For one thing there would be no ban on talking about Celia or Norah. She loved them with her heart and soul and would not disown them just because they were doing something she didn’t necessarily agree with. Surely they had a right to make decisions about their own futures? Look where trying to deny them that right had got them and if she ever got the address of where they were living she would write and tell them so.

  There was another thing she had decided as she had bid a tearful goodbye to her daughter Katie earlier that day. Katie had hated seeing them ready to leave as she had missed them greatly and especially her mother, and said she felt so isolated from them all. And, thought Peggy, there was no reason for her to feel that way for it wasn’t as if she was in darkest Africa. A rail bus travelled all the way from Donegal Town to Letterkenny and Katie said either she or her husband, Roddy Donahue, could pick Peggy up from there. Roddy, who she got on with very well, said he would be delighted to see her; it would help Katie, and Peggy would get to know her grandson. And so it was decided and it was just one more thing she had to hit Dan with. He would be astounded at her determination, she knew, for he’d had things his own way for long enough, but she wasn’t going to let herself be browbeaten any more. Dan’s decisions were not always just and sensible ones and he had to be made to realise that.

  Celia dressed warmly for her visit to the canal on Saturday afternoon as Henry had said it was bound to be colder nearer the water and the Bull Ring would be no warmer. Henry wanted to phone for a taxi as the day was icy but Celia refused, though she did say, ‘You might see that Norah has a coat. Her shawl might not be adequate and, though there are two or three in your sister’s wardrobe, she thinks you may feel she has a cheek to wear one of Annabel’s coats. I can’t really understand it because she is quite happy to share Annabel’s indoor clothes. If you tell her it’s all right she will be fine about it, I’m sure.’

  ‘I will,’ Henry promised. ‘And,’ he added, ‘warmer footwear wouldn’t come amiss either. But to be honest it is about time you had clothes of your own. I’ll get that seen to by Christmas.’

  ‘Oh Henry,’ Celia breathed in awe.

  ‘That suit?’

  ‘More than suit,’ Celia said. ‘All the time I was growing up all my clothes were hand-me-down, apart from my outfit for Mass. We just didn’t have many new clothes.’

  ‘Well not a word to Andy or Norah either,’ Henry said. ‘It’s our own little secret. And talking of Andy, isn’t it time you were on your way if you won’t accept my offer of a taxi?’

  ‘Keep your money, Henry,’ Celia said with a smile as she closed the door behind her and made her way to the tram stop.

  Andy was waiting for her at the tram stop at the top of Rocky Lane and Celia thought he seemed a little preoccupied. ‘Penny for them,’ she said as they began walking down Rocky Lane hand in hand.

  ‘What?’

  ‘You seem worried about something?’

  And if Andy wasn’t exactly worried, he was concerned and puzzled at Billy’s odd behaviour. Twice that week he had gone out in the evening after they’d eaten, to see Stan he said. Andy didn’t doubt him at first.

  ‘Is he much worse then?’

  ‘Mm,’ Billy said vaguely.

  He had been even more vague the next day when Andy had asked questions about the ailing old man, so much so that Andy wondered if he had even seen Stan at all. But because Billy was being so elusive, Andy had decided not to tell him of the visitor he’d had: Henry Lewisham, who had offered him the opportunity to train for a good well-paid job in the brass industry, the sort of trade he had dreamt of, and the sort he would have bitten his hand off for if it had come six months earlier. But now it was just too late.

  Two nights later, when Billy had left the boat with the same excuse, Andy followed him. Billy did go into Stan’s house all right but he was in it no time before he came out again hand in hand with a young lady, the same young woman Andy had seen Billy with before. He couldn’t understand why his friend had never said a word about it. Andy would have said they never had secrets from each other and it bothered him that Billy appeared to – so much so that Celia had noticed Andy’s mind was elsewhere.

  And it wouldn’t do, he told himself firmly. Whatever ailed Billy was his business and Andy had been apart from Celia too long to waste any of the scant time they had together by letting his mind wander to other people and their potential problems. So he pushed Billy and the girl to the back of his mind and forced a smile to his lips.

  ‘Sorry, pet, but my thoughts are not even worth a farthing,’ he said. ‘And I’m worried about nothing. I was just thinking of a particularly large load we have on Monday and working out how to load boat and tender so we can do it in one journey.’

  ‘Oh, is that all?’

  ‘That’s all,’ Andy assured Celia. ‘But that is Monday and today is today so let’s chase the wind.’ And they ran down the hill together, hand in hand, and laughing at their foolishness. Like Norah, Celia was enchanted with the pretty painted barges but because the winter days were short they didn’t go in straight away. Instead Andy led her up the towpath till she could see the tunnels that they legged the barge through and the locks with the sluice gates. And they were lucky enough to see a barge approaching so Celia could actually see the locks in action. Then Andy took her back to meet Billy.

  Celia knew of Billy’s sad history and she thought him a l
ovely young man and hoped he would find someone special very soon. She was a little dismayed by the size of the living area, though Norah had warned her. And while she thought the space-saving innovations very clever, she still didn’t see how anyone could raise a family in such a small space.

  People did, though Billy said most lads married boatie girls. It wasn’t a rule or anything like that, but a woman not raised to a boatie life would usually find it hard to settle. Then the couple could either stay on the canal and the woman would be unhappy or they could leave the canal and the man would be unhappy. Billy’s words made Celia wonder about her future with Andy if he stuck with the canal. But she refused to worry about it for she told herself any marriage between them was two and a half years away and a lot could happen in that time.

  After a feed of fish and chips that Andy bought, they set out for the Bull Ring as the evening darkened. When they alighted from the tram, the darkness was complete but street lamps threw pools of light in front of them. There was also light from the shop windows for most shops were still open and very inviting they looked. Celia would have loved a wander round one or two of them, but Andy was on some sort of mission.

  ‘This is High Street,’ he said. ‘And at the end of here there’s an incline and that leads to the Bull Ring so let’s see if it’s as good as people say it is.’

  They walked down the incline and just stood still and stared. Stalls and barrows, full of produce of various sorts, stretched out as far the eye could see and each one was lit up by spluttering gas flares so it was like fairy land. Andy knew he would have Celia for himself for a couple of hours before they would be joined by the others so they wandered around the stalls and waited for the promised entertainment.