Sarah

by Raine Cantrell

  “Leave? But—”

  “Give me no buts, woman. You know what you’ll face here. And lots of other places, too. But there’s God’s country west and north of here. Think about it. That is all I’m telling you. Now, let’s go see Caroline and Dolly.”

  Nita proved right. By the time Rio and the sheriff returned with the bodies, most of the townsfolk had heard of the attack on Sarah and her rescue by Rio Santee. Nita was the only one in whom Sarah confided Rio’s Apache heritage, and she saw no reason to mention it to others. It wasn’t something to be hidden for long, but Sarah took whatever time she could.

  Sarah stood with Caroline near the sheriff’s office. She had the packhorse loaded with some supplies, the rest Marcus Jobe promised to send by wagon as soon as the road dried up. Caroline slipped her arm around Sarah’s waist and leaned close to whisper her approval of Rio.

  Happy and secure in her love and marriage, Caroline patted her thickening waist. “Lord, Sarah, if you get him to the alter you won’t be far behind me. That is one armful of man.”

  “But he’s not a man to be led where he doesn’t want to go, Caroline. Still, pray for me. I think I love him. I really think I do. He’s got so many good qualities—”

  “Qualities? What are you saying, Sarah? You’re not buying one of your horses.” Caroline cupped Sarah’s cheek and forced her to turn toward her. Shaking her head, she then smiled. “Listen to yourself. No lies. A woman knows when she loves a man. You’re one of the strongest women I know. Mary told me that part of your strength comes from never lying to yourself. I believe that. He’s handsome as sin,” she said with a laugh in her voice.

  “You’d need to be dead not to notice, Sarah. Of course he has redeeming qualities or you wouldn’t look twice. And I’ve never yet met a woman who wouldn’t fight with every weapon she has to keep hold of the man she gives her love to.”

  Sarah never answered, for Rio and the sheriff came outside to join them. Rio appeared calm when she looked at him, but George made it clear for her benefit that there would be no charges.

  “Wouldn’t surprise me none to find them hombres wanted for something somewhere. If I find out, I’ll let you folks know.”

  With that Sarah was content, and thought that Rio was, too. But as the days became weeks, worry ate into that contentment.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  At first, Sarah bloomed as she reveled in her newfound love. Her days began and ended with a kiss, with laughter, with overflowing joy.

  Rio proved to be a passionate lover. Sometimes fierce, hot emotion marked the night, at other times tender, gentle loving wrung soft cries before they were joined. Still other nights were marked in memory for the teasing and laughter that brought them together.

  Looking back over those weeks, Sarah believed with all her heart that they were good for each other. The boys, too, appeared to thrive, their bodies filling out, pranks and laughter a part of their days.

  She thought of all as shared joy in the signs of spring coming, the newly expected foal, the work and the play they shared. But underlying all this were signs she could not ignore.

  There were the moments when Rio thought himself unobserved, and she would see a distant look on his face, his gaze directed toward the south as if he were once more contemplating his earlier plan. The signs of restlessness were there, though she had to admit he tried hard to cover them.

  She tried to break through to him, but he would walk away before an argument began. A few times he seemed about to speak of what bothered him only to gaze deeply into her eyes, shake his head and walk away.

  Something inside stopped her from questioning him. She admitted she was afraid to know, afraid of what he would say.

  Since the day they went to the sheriff, he had refused to go into town with her. His way of protecting her from gossip, for true to Nita’s prediction, there were many townsfolk who pointed and stared at her. For the first time since Sarah had bought her home she found herself with few friends to defend her. Despite the effort to hide the knowledge, word spread that Rio was part Apache.

  Sarah hid the hurt of turned backs, of the whispers and those who loudly complained of her being allowed to shop where they did. Cooler heads prevailed to stop any outright violence, but she sensed it was not far behind.

  She couldn’t even blame them for their small-mindedness. Nita was right. Many had suffered at the hands of the Apache, and it didn’t matter that Rio and his sons had nothing to do with it.

  Sarah took her stand. No one was going to dictate how she should live her life. But how much longer could she hide her growing isolation from Rio?

  Much as it pained her, she stopped taking the boys into town with her. She no longer stopped at Caroline’s or Nita’s to share a letter from Catherine. Everything she could do to avoid calling attention to herself and her remaining loyal friends, she did.

  The price paid brought her other joys. Rio had deepened his relationship with his sons, and her own with them.

  The moments of seeing three dark heads together, maybe hearing a burst of laughter, or seeing arms slung around shoulders brought a gladness to her heart and reaffirmation that she had made the right choice.

  She had given them a safe place to build their new bonds, to share love, to have a home. Why couldn’t people see this? They hurt no one. Why would anyone want to destroy what they were building together.

  There wasn’t a man in the county who could match the driven way Rio worked. No chore was left undone, no repair unseen under his hands.

  The land and house, the barn and animals took on a well-loved luster.

  But it was still her home. Another unspoken bone of contention. One she wasn’t sure how to handle. Her land and home meant everything to her. She had paid in blood for it. This was her nesting place, her refuge, her security.

  Did she want to give it up for the love of this man and his sons?

  Would Rio even let her?

  More often than not, she awoke to find him gone from their bed. At first, panic filling her heart, she searched for him, fearing this was the night he had left her.

  She knew there would be no scene, no chance to change his mind, no tears, no pleas. He would leave as he had come to her, in the silence of the night.

  She discovered that he would not be in the house, but out in the darkness near the corral. She would stand and watch him, her arms wrapped around her waist, the curtain on the kitchen window tucked aside so as not to hide him from her view. She envied the horses for whatever confidences he shared with them. And she cried, too, for the way he shut her out of what troubled him.

  This could not go on. She knew that.

  But the fear, that deep, gut-twisting fear of knowing Rio, knowing that if she pushed him, if she pushed for confrontation with all that she sensed, she would lose him, was enough to keep her silent.

  She couldn’t lose him. Rio made her happy, and this despite the fear. She knew that he loved her, that he would never deliberately hurt her. When she managed to push aside the fear of his leaving to protect her, the happiness she felt brought a glow to everything around her.

  She prided herself on being strong. She had survived so much that would have left another woman broken. Now she was alive again. Truly alive and willing to fight.

  Rio had given her the gift of easing sorrow and replacing it with his love. If unexpected tears hovered in her eyes, he was there to hold her, no questions of why, just simply holding her until the tears were gone.

  These moments were healing and cleansing, and in their aftermath, the physical loving between them was long and slow until he wrung a soft cry of pleasure from her that was his name, and he, in turn, cried out hers.

  But having opened the doorway and fully explored her fear this night, she could not lock it away.

  She refused to awaken one morning to find him gone.

  She couldn’t let it happen. There had to be a way out There had to be a way to overcome the biggest obstacle of all.

&n
bsp; Rio’s pride.

  She had her own measure of it She understood more than Rio knew what pride could drive him to do.

  She needed a way to have it all.

  Such a greedy woman she had become. She didn’t want to settle for half or maybe someday. No. It had to be all.

  And by the morning’s light creeping into her room to chase the night’s shadows, she found the way.

  All she needed now was time.

  But time was against her.

  At midmorning, Sarah was scraping the last of the dried bits of dough from her breadboard. Before the sun had fully risen, Rio left with the boys to check on their snares. Survival lessons that meant taking nothing but their knives with them. She sent them off with a smile, one that couldn’t reach her eyes, for the worry that someone with more temper than reason would find them. She had to trust Rio’s skill to avoid any trouble.

  She was about to dampen a cloth for the final cleaning of the board when she heard a buckboard coming around to the back of the house. Wiping her hands on her apron, she went to the kitchen door.

  Spying Nita on the buckboard’s seat brought her running from the doorway.

  “What’s wrong, Nita? You never—”

  “Listen to me,” Nita shouted, yanking on the reins with a vicious jerk to bring her horse to a standstill.

  “You’ve got to get out, Sarah. You and Rio and the boys. There’s not much time. There was a meeting last night, another this morning. I tried, Buck and Caroline tried, to calm things down. You know we’ve got horses’ asses that won’t listen to reason. They want you and that man of yours gone. I’m afraid for you.”

  For the longest minutes, Sarah couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move or talk. She silently denied what Nita said. But Nita wouldn’t lie. She would not have come here if this wasn’t true, wasn’t serious.

  “Ain’t never seen the lot of them this worked up, girl.” As if to bear out how frightened she was, Nita grabbed hold of her double-barrel shotgun. “I’ll be standing with you, and what’s more, we won’t be alone.”

  “No, Nita! I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

  “Girl, you ain’t listenin’ to me. Got a feelin’ in my bones this is goin’ way beyond talkin’.”

  “How much time do I have?”

  “Well, Buck got Ross Durvarey to water down the drinks over at the Red Horse. George, he took hold of Marcus and Ollie to keep things calm over at the Paradise saloon. Your guess is as good as mine if they can keep tempers from flarin’. Damn fools, the lot of them.”

  Nita leaned down to place a gloved hand on Sarah’s shoulder. “It’s real bad, honey. There was talk of burning you out. Seen my share of ugliness in folks more times than I can recall. Never thought to see it here. So don’t be tellin’ me to go, Sarah. Ain’t gonna turn my back on you.”

  Sarah reached up and grasped Nita’s hand. “You have been a wonderful, true friend to me, but I can’t…won’t let you put yourself in danger for me. I already planned to leave. But not this soon. I needed more time to talk to Rio. And yes, Nita, I can see by the look in your eyes that you know I’d rather stay and fight them, but I won’t lose what I’ve found.”

  “No, don’t, Sarah. But I’m afraid for you.”

  Sarah glanced away from Nita’s naked fear. “I need you to buy me time. Rio’s gone with the boys until dark. I have things to pack. I just wish…” she said, turning to look at her friend once more.

  “What? If you need money, I took care of bringing what I could. Buck,” Nita said with a wink, “was right helpful.”

  “No. Money’s not what I need. I want you to say my goodbyes to those who matter. You know who they are. And thank them for standing up for me. Maybe, just maybe, there’ll be a day when folks will look at a person and judge them by what they do, and not what they are. Keep the house safe, if you can, Nita. One of us will be back.”

  Sarah squeezed her hand once more then stepped away from the buckboard. “Go, dear friend. Say a prayer for us.”

  Nita stared at her for a long moment. Her nod was abrupt. A quick move to slap the reins and turn her horse helped to hide the moisture in her eyes.

  “Gonna miss you, gonna miss you all,” she cried out, but she did not turn around for a last look.

  It was just as well she didn’t, Sarah thought She could barely blink back the sudden surge of tears. She heard a silent clock ticking away the precious minutes, yet she stood there in the yard. Her fists were held down at her sides and anger roiled through her. She did nothing to stop it.

  She had fought hard to have a home, a place of sanctuary. She knew she could stay and fight them. You could do it, a small voice whispered in her mind.

  Sarah uncurled her hands. She blinked a few times, then took a long look around. Slowly then, she shook her head.

  No. She wouldn’t stay. And she wouldn’t waste another moment on regrets.

  If Rio was shocked by the sight of Sarah waiting on the trail with packhorses, he hid it from her.

  “It’s time for us to leave,” she said before the boys could ask questions. “I know a place, a safe place where we can make a life together.”

  Her breath held for the moments he studied her. She sat tall in the saddle, meeting his direct and most penetrating gaze with her own.

  “Are you sure, Sarah?” he asked.

  “Do you love me, Rio?”

  He smiled then and whispered, “Varlebena, Sarah, Varlebena.”

  Forever.

  Rio urged his horse forward the few steps to Sarah’s side. He leaned over and cupped her chin. He let her see the silent message in his eyes, and he leaned closer still to brush his lips against hers.

  And Sarah knew she had made the right choice, for she had left behind a house and found a home for her love.

  “Let’s ride,” she said, taking the lead.

  It took five days before Sarah found what she was looking for. The flat ground stretched out before her. She glanced over at Rio and saw the way he studied the land around them, then focused on the canyon wall opposite where they rested the horses.

  “It won’t be much longer,” she said, uncapping her canteen and taking a long drink. “See that twisted pine and the boulder?”

  “Sarah, there’s no way—”

  “Yes. There is. I’ve been through here before. Trust me. There’ll be welcome for us and for the boys.”

  And still she waited, needing to be sure that way ahead was safe. She remembered everything that Rafe had told her about the Apache thinking the place was haunted, but times changed, as well as people.

  When it was close to dusk she motioned them to move out, skirting the flat land until they came to the twisted pine. She let her horse pick her own way up and around the boulder to the bare trail that climbed up. She glanced back now and again, for they had to ride single file and dark was closing fast on the land.

  The rich scents of pine and cedar filled the air as the first echoing footfall of her horse told her how close they were.

  She waited for Rio and the boys to ride up close.

  “This is a natural tunnel. When we come to the end don’t be surprised by what’s waiting.”

  “Sarah, this place holds—”

  “No ghosts, Rio, just friends. My cousin and her husband live here with their children. You’ll see. We will be welcome here.”

  One whinny from the packhorses was all it took to warn that they were coming. A thunder of hooves could be heard long before they cleared the end of the tunnel.

  “Rafe, it’s Sarah,” she shouted, then nearly was unseated as a match at her side flared and a straw torch sprang flames.

  “I’ve been watching you for a while,” Rafe said, still in shadow while the torch he held illuminated the faces of Rio and his sons. “Anyone following?”

  “No, Rafe,” Sarah was quick to answer. “We needed to leave Hillsboro and—”

  “And Mary has coffee on and hot food waiting for you.”

  Rafe held out the torch to Sa
rah and was about to turn for his own horse when Rio stopped him.

  “Wait. You don’t know me. Yet you offer welcome and turn your back on me?”

  “That’s right. Sarah brought you here. Don’t need more than that.”

  And later when the tale was told, Rio realized that Rafe had spoken the simple truth. He and his wife needed no more than that.

  It was late, nearer to dawn when Rio roused Sarah from her bed near the fireplace. He motioned for silence as he led her between the pallets where his sons slept and drew her outside with him.

  The crisp night mountain air brought Sarah to shivering until Rio wrapped his arms around her and walked away from the house.

  “There are words I need to say to you, Sarah. Words of promise.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.

  “From my heart I give these promises to you, iszáń. I will be your shelter for the days to come. And I will be your warmth. You will never spend another hour of being lonely for I am here for you always. We are two, man and woman, but from this day forth we have but one life to share. We will spend our days together, bound by the generous hearts that share their love. And our days, Sarah,” he whispered, drawing her close so their lips just met, “all our days will be good and long beneath the sun. I love you Sarah. Love you and honor you as the woman of my heart.”

  For Sarah it was more than hearing words as he locked her within the strength of his arms, his lips tender and seeking as they sought hers. A rainswept night had brought a stranger into her home, into her arms and into her heart.

  And she vowed to keep him there—forever.

  Epilogue

  It took nearly three years before the once merry widows were able to come together again. The first few days of this spring meeting in the hidden valley were spent sorting names and children and a flurry of cooking and catching up with one anothers’ lives.

  Three radiant women looked on as their husbands went down beneath a tangle of shrieking children. Shaded beneath the giant cottonwood tree outside of Sarah’s new cabin, it was the first time they found themselves alone. A warm breeze ruffled the thick grass and whispered through the leaves overhead as the sounds of children’s laughter filled the air.