The Explorer

by W. Somerset Maugham

  'No, he merely scribbled on a card: I think you should read this.'

  No one answered. Lucy turned and faced them; her cheeks were pale, but she was very calm. She looked gravely at Robert Boulger, waiting for him to say what she knew was in his mind, so that she might express at once her utter disbelief in the charges that were brought against Alec. But he did not speak, and she was obliged to utter her defiant words without provocation.

  'He thought it unnecessary to assure me that he hadn't betrayed the trust I put in him.'

  'Do you mean to say the letter left any doubt in your mind?' said Boulger.

  'Why on earth should I believe the unsupported words of a subordinate who was dismissed for misbehaviour?'

  'For my part, I can only say that I never read anything more convincing in my life.'

  'I could hardly believe him guilty of such a crime if he confessed it with his own lips.'

  Bobbie shrugged his shoulders. It was only with difficulty that he held back the cruel words that were on his lips. But as if Lucy read his thoughts, her cheeks flushed.

  'I think it's infamous that you should all be ready to believe the worst,' she said hotly, in a low voice that trembled with indignant anger. 'You're all of you so petty, so mean, that you welcome the chance of spattering with mud a man who is so infinitely above you. You've not given him a chance to defend himself.'

  Bobbie turned very pale. Lucy had never spoken to him in such a way before, and wrath flamed up in his heart, wrath mixed with hopeless love. He paused for a moment to command himself.

  'You don't know apparently that interviewers went to him from the evening papers, and he refused to speak.'

  'He has never consented to be interviewed. Why should you expect him now to break his rule?'

  Bobbie was about to answer, when a sudden look of dismay on Lady Kelsey's face stopped him. He turned round and saw MacKenzie standing at the door. He came forward with a smile, holding out his hand, and addressed himself to Lady Kelsey.

  'I thought I should find you here,' he said.

  He was perfectly collected. He glanced around the room with a smile of quiet amusement. A certain embarrassment seized the little party, and Lady Kelsey, at she shook hands with him, was at a loss for words.

  'How do you do?' she faltered. 'We've just been talking of you.'

  'Really?'

  The twinkle in his eyes caused her to lose the remainder of her self-possession, and she turned scarlet.

  'It's so late, we were afraid you wouldn't come. I should have been dreadfully disappointed.'

  'It's very kind of you to say so. I've been at the Travellers, reading various appreciations of my character.'

  A hurried look of alarm crossed Lady Kelsey's good-tempered face.

  'Oh, I heard there was something about you in the papers,' she answered.

  'There's a good deal. I really had no idea the world was so interested in me.'

  'It's charming of you to come here to-night,' the good lady smiled, beginning to feel more at ease. 'I'm sure you hate dances.'

  'Oh, no, they interest me enormously. I remember, an African king once gave a dance in my honour. Four thousand warriors in war-paint. I assure you it was a most impressive sight.'

  'My dear fellow,' Dick chuckled, 'if paint is the attraction, you really need not go much further than Mayfair.'

  The scene amused him. He was deeply interested in Alec's attitude, for he knew him well enough to be convinced that his discreet gaiety was entirely assumed. It was impossible to tell by it what course he meant to adopt; and at the same time there was about him a greater unapproachableness, which warned all and sundry that it would be wiser to attempt no advance. But for his own part he did not care; he meant to have a word with Alec at the first opportunity.

  Alec's quiet eyes now rested on Robert Boulger.

  'Ah, there's my little friend Bobbikins. I thought you had a headache?'

  Lady Kelsey remembered her nephew's broken engagement and interposed quickly.

  'I'm afraid Bobbie is dreadfully dissipated. He's not looking at all well.'

  'You shouldn't keep such late hours,' said Alec, good-humouredly. 'At your age one needs one's beauty sleep.'

  'It's very kind of you to take an interest in me,' said Boulger, flushing with annoyance. 'My headache has passed off.'

  'I'm very glad. What do you use--phenacetin?'

  'It went away of its own accord after dinner,' returned Bobbie frigidly, conscious that he was being laughed at, but unable to extricate himself.

  'So you resolved to give the girls a treat by coming to Lady Kelsey's dance? How nice of you not to disappoint them!'

  Alec turned to Lucy, and they looked into one another's eyes.

  'I sent you a paper this evening,' he said gravely.

  'It was very good of you.'

  There was a silence. All who were present felt that the moment was impressive, and it needed Canon Spratte's determination to allow none but himself to monopolise attention, to bring to an end a situation which might have proved awkward. He came forward and offered his arm to Lucy.

  'I think this is my dance. May I take you in?'

  He was trying to repeat the direct cut which he had given Alec earlier in the day. Alec looked at him.

  'I saw you in Piccadilly this evening. You were dashing about like a young gazelle.'

  'I didn't see you,' said the Canon, frigidly.

  'I observed that you were deeply engrossed in the shop windows as I passed. How are you?'

  He held out his hand. For a moment the Canon hesitated to take it, but Alec's gaze compelled him.

  'How do you do?' he said.

  He felt, rather than heard, Dick's chuckle, and reddening, offered his arm to Lucy.

  'Won't you come, Mr. MacKenzie?' said Lady Kelsey, making the best of her difficulty.

  'If you don't mind, I'll stay and smoke a cigarette with Dick Lomas. You know, I'm not a dancing man.'

  It seemed that Alec was giving Dick the opportunity he sought, and as soon as they found themselves alone, the sprightly little man attacked him.

  'I suppose you know we were all beseeching Providence you'd have the grace to stay away to-night?' he said.

  'I confess that I suspected it,' smiled Alec. 'I shouldn't have come, only I wanted to see Miss Allerton.'

  'This fellow Macinnery proposes to make things rather uncomfortable, I imagine.'

  'I made a mistake, didn't I?' said Alec, with a thin smile. 'I should have dropped him in the river when I had no further use for him.'

  'What are you going to do?'

  'Nothing.'

  Dick stared at him.

  'Do you mean to say you're going to sit still and let them throw mud at you?'

  'If they want to.'

  'But look here, Alec, what the deuce is the meaning of the whole thing?'

  Alec looked at him quietly.

  'If I had intended to take the world in general into my confidence, I wouldn't have refused to see the interviewers who came to me this evening.'

  'We've known one another for twenty years, Alec,' said Dick.

  'Then you may be quite sure that if I refuse to discuss this matter with you, it must be for excellent reasons.'

  Dick sprang up excitedly.

  'But, good God! you must explain. You can't let a charge like this rest on you. After all, it's not Tom, Dick, or Harry that's concerned; it's Lucy's brother. You must speak.'

  'I've never yet discovered that I must do anything that I don't choose,' answered Alec.

  Dick flung himself into a chair. He knew that when Alec spoke in that fashion no power on earth could move him. The whole thing was entirely unexpected, and he was at a loss for words. He had not read the letter which was causing all the bother, and knew only what Lady Kelsey had told him. He had some hope that on a close examination various things would appear which must explain Alec's attitude; but at present it was incomprehensible.

  'Has it occurred to you that Lucy is
very much in love with you, Alec?' he said at last.

  Alec did not answer. He made no movement.

  'What will you do if this loses you her love?'

  'I have counted the cost,' said Alec, coldly.

  He got up from his chair, and Dick saw that he did not wish to continue the discussion. There was a moment of silence, and then Lucy came in.

  'I've given my partner away to a wall-flower,' she said, with a faint smile. 'I felt I must have a few words alone with you.'

  'I will make myself scarce,' said Dick.

  They waited till he was gone. Then Lucy turned feverishly to Alec.

  'Oh, I'm so glad you've come. I wanted so much to see you.'

  'I'm afraid people have been telling you horrible things about me.'

  'They wanted to hide it from me.'

  'It never occurred to me that people could say such shameful things,' he said gravely.

  It tormented him a little because it had been so easy to care nothing for the world's adulation, and it was so hard to care as little for its censure. He felt very bitter.

  He took Lucy's hand and made her sit on the sofa by his side.

  'There's something I must tell you at once.'

  She looked at him without answering.

  'I've made up my mind to give no answer to the charges that are brought against me.'

  Lucy looked up quickly, and their eyes met.

  'I give you my word of honour that I've done nothing which I regret. I swear to you that what I did was right with regard to George, and if it were all to come again I would do exactly as I did before.'

  She did not answer for a long time.

  'I never doubted you for a single moment,' she said at last.

  'That is all I care about.' He looked down, and there was a certain shyness in his voice when he spoke again. 'To-day is the first time I've wanted to be assured that I was trusted; and yet I'm ashamed to want it.'

  'Don't be too hard upon yourself,' she said gently. 'You're so afraid of letting your tenderness appear.'

  He seemed to give earnest thought to what she said. Lucy had never seen him more grave.

  'The only way to be strong is never to surrender to one's weakness. Strength is merely a habit. I want you to be strong, too. I want you never to doubt me whatever you hear said.'

  'I gave my brother into your hands, and I said that if he died a brave man's death, I could ask for no more. You told me that such a death was his.'

  'I thought of you always, and everything I did was for your sake. Every single act of mine during these four years in Africa has been done because I loved you.'

  It was the first time since his return that he had spoken of love. Lucy bent her head still lower.

  'Do you remember, I asked you a question before I went away? You refused to marry me then, but you told me that if I asked again when I came back, the answer might be different.'

  'Yes.'

  'The hope bore me up in every difficulty and in every danger. And when I came back I dared not ask you at once; I was so afraid that you would refuse once more. And I didn't wish you to think yourself bound by a vague promise. But each day I loved you more passionately.'

  'I knew, and I was very grateful for your love.'

  'Yesterday I could have offered you a certain name. I only cared for the honours they gave me so that I might put them at your feet. But what can I offer you now?'

  'You must love me always, Alec, for now I have only you.'

  'Are you sure that you will never believe that I am guilty of this crime?'

  'Why can you say nothing in self-defence?'

  'That I can't tell you either.'

  There was a silence between them. At last Alec spoke again.

  'But perhaps it will be easier for you to believe in me than for others, because you know that I loved you, and I can't have done the odious thing of which that man accuses me.'

  'I will never believe it. I do not know what your reasons are for keeping all this to yourself, but I trust you, and I know that they are good. If you cannot speak, it is because greater interests hold you back. I love you, Alec, with all my heart, and if you wish me to be your wife I shall be proud and honoured.'

  He took her in his arms, and as he kissed her, she wept tears of happiness. She did not want to think. She wanted merely to surrender herself to his strength.

  XVI

  Lady Kelsey's devout hope that her party would finish without unpleasantness was singularly frustrated. Robert Boulger was irritated beyond endurance by the things Lucy had said to him; and Lucy besides, as if to drive him to distraction, had committed a peculiar indiscretion. In her determination to show the world in general, represented then by the two hundred people who were enjoying Lady Kelsey's hospitality, that she, the person most interested, did not for an instant believe what was said about Alec, Lucy had insisted on dancing with him. Alec thought it unwise thus to outrage conventional opinion, but he could not withstand her fiery spirit. Dick and Mrs. Crowley were partners at the time, and the disapproval which Lucy saw in their eyes, made her more vehement in her defiance. She had caught Bobbie's glance, too, and she flung back her head a little as she saw his livid anger.

  Little by little Lady Kelsey's guests bade her farewell, and at three o'clock few were left. Lucy had asked Alec to remain till the end, and he and Dick had taken refuge in the smoking-room. Presently Boulger came in with two men, named Mallins and Carbery, whom Alec knew slightly. He glanced at Alec, and went up to the table on which were cigarettes and various things to drink. His companions had no idea that he was bent upon an explanation and had asked them of set purpose to come into that room.

  'May we smoke here, Bobbie?' asked one of them, a little embarrassed at seeing Alec, but anxious to carry things off pleasantly.

  'Certainly. Dick insisted that this room should be particularly reserved for that purpose.'

  'Lady Kelsey is the most admirable of all hostesses,' said Dick lightly.

  He took out his case and offered a cigarette to Alec. Alec took it.

  'Give me a match, Bobbikins, there's a good boy,' he said carelessly.

  Boulger, with his back turned to Alec, took no notice of the request. He poured himself out some whisky, and raising the glass, deliberately examined how much there was in it. Alec smiled faintly.

  'Bobbie, throw me over the matches,' he repeated.

  At that moment Lady Kelsey's butler came into the room with a salver, upon which he put the dirty glasses. Bobbie, his back still turned, looked up at the servant.

  'Miller.'

  'Yes, sir.'

  'Mr. MacKenzie is asking for something.'

  'Yes, sir.'

  'You might give me a match, will you?' said Alec.

  'Yes, sir.'

  The butler put the matches on his salver and took them over to Alec, who lit his cigarette.

  'Thank you.'

  No one spoke till the butler left the room. Alec occupied himself idly in making smoke rings, and he watched them rise into the air. When they were alone he turned slowly to Boulger.

  'I perceive that during my absence you have not added good manners to your other accomplishments,' he said.

  Boulger wheeled round and faced him.

  'If you want things you can ask servants for them.'

  'Don't be foolish,' smiled Alec, good-humouredly.

  Alec's contemptuous manner robbed Boulger of his remaining self-control. He strode angrily to Alec.

  'If you talk to me like that I'll knock you down.'

  Alec was lying stretched out on the sofa, and did not stir. He seemed completely unconcerned.

  'You could hardly do that when I'm already lying on my back,' he murmured.

  Boulger clenched his fists. He gasped in the fury of his anger.

  'Look here, MacKenzie, I'm not going to let you play the fool with me. I want to know what answer you have to make to Macinnery's accusation.'

  'Might I suggest that only Miss Allerton has the least ri
ght to receive answers to her questions? And she hasn't questioned me.'

  'I've given up trying to understand her attitude. If I were she, it would make me sick with horror to look at you. But after all I have the right to know something. George Allerton was my cousin.'

  Alec rose slowly from the sofa. He faced Boulger with an indifference which was peculiarly irritating.

  'That is a fact upon which he did not vastly pride himself.'

  'Since this morning you've rested under a perfectly direct charge of causing his death in a dastardly manner. And you've said nothing in self-defence.'

  'I haven't.'

  'You've been given an opportunity of explaining yourself, and you haven't taken it.'

  'Quite true.'

  'What are you going to do?'

  Alec had already been asked that question by Dick, and he returned the same answer.

  'Nothing.'

  Bobbie looked at him for an instant. Then he shrugged his shoulders.

  'In that case I can draw only one conclusion. There appears to be no means of bringing you to justice, but at least I can tell you what an indescribable blackguard I think you.'

  'All is over between us,' smiled Alec, faintly amused at the young man's violence. 'And shall I return your letters and your photographs?'

  'I assure you that I'm not joking,' answered Bobbie grimly.

  'I have observed that you joke with difficulty. It's singular that though I'm Scotch and you are English, I should be able to see how ridiculous you are, while you're quite blind to your own absurdity.'

  'Come, Alec, remember he's only a boy,' remonstrated Dick, who till now had been unable to interpose.

  Boulger turned upon him angrily.

  'I'm perfectly able to look after myself, Dick, and I'll thank you not to interfere.' He looked again at Alec: 'If Lucy's so indifferent to her brother's death that she's willing to keep up with you, that's her own affair.'

  Dick interrupted once more.

  'For heaven's sake don't make a scene, Bobbie. How can you make such a fool of yourself?'

  'Leave me alone, confound you!'

  'Do you think this is quite the best place for an altercation?' asked Alec quietly. 'Wouldn't you gain more notoriety if you attacked me in my club or at Church Parade on Sunday?'

  'It's mere shameless impudence that you should come here to-night,' cried Bobbie, his voice hoarse with passion. 'You're using these wretched women as a shield, because you know that as long as Lucy sticks to you, there are people who won't believe the story.'