Unattainable

by Garcia, Leslie P.

  “You might be burning bridges that will cost you later,” he warned. “Years have a way of changing how we see things, especially when family’s involved.”

  She shrugged. “Family? My family’s dead, Jovi. I mean that. Family isn’t about blood and genes. It’s about love and caring. The De Cordovas aren’t family. There’s only been one person in my life who ever loved me, and he’s dead.”

  “Still.” He couldn’t let go of it. Partly because of the past, and partly because it was the only excuse he could think of to explain why he didn’t sweep her up in his arms and carry her to the bedroom. Or just pull her down to the floor. Faint color was seeping into her cheeks, and he knew she was beginning to suffer. He hadn’t been turned down very often, but he remembered all too well how humiliating rejection could be.

  “Let’s leave it alone,” he suggested. “For a few days. Then if it seems safe … ”

  She took a deep breath, then nodded. The movement was robotic, a slight mechanical motion. “Maybe,” she said. “Or maybe not.”

  Jovi rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not going to fire me, are you?” he asked.

  Dell looked at him. “Why?”

  He grinned. “My second career choice was as a stand-up comedian. Glad I went into horses. I was trying to be funny.”

  “Funny … Oh.” She managed a faint smile. “You’re job is safe, yes. Somehow I don’t think I’d care to defend myself against sexual harassment charges.” The faint smile slipped. “After tonight, I probably wouldn’t have much of a defense.” She walked back over to the table, picked up her tea, and downed most of it in a single gulp.

  “Not nearly strong enough.” The distance was back, he noted with relief. He had been sorely tempted to try to comfort her, to hug her, and touching her wouldn’t have been smart. Not when he was already late for his meeting with Ortega and Hampton.

  “I’ll do better next time,” he offered glibly as she crossed the room toward the door.

  “Next time won’t help tonight, though, will it? Tonight I think I’ll drive into town and get falling-down drunk.”

  He stiffened slightly, but she noticed anyway and arched an eyebrow at him. “Am I shocking you again?”

  “No, uh … ” He floundered, apparently trying to avoid coming across as judgmental and chauvinistic. But obviously at a loss for words.

  “Relax,” she said after a minute. “I didn’t mean it. Good night, Jovi.” She didn’t look back as she walked out the door and stepped carefully off the low porch. He sighed heavily and cast another glance at the wall clock as he, too, headed out the door.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Embarrassment seldom kills, Dell thought wryly. She looked out the window, watching Jovi try to saddle her thoroughbred mare, Josie. The mare was almost seventeen hands, tall and beautifully proportioned. She’d never raced, although she’d been a fairly successful jumper when Samuel Rosales brought her home to Dell. But the mare didn’t like working these days, and she kept turning around and nipping at Jovi’s rear. When he’d jump out of her reach, the mare would shy, prolonging the process and making Dell laugh in spite of herself.

  So he said no, she told herself for the hundredth time as she started out to offer a hand. If I told someone no, I wouldn’t expect him to be all bent out of shape. Of course, she had offended more than one overly ardent, would-be suitor with her refusals. So she supposed she could forgive herself for being hurt. But Jovi had been unchanged this morning, unthreatening and casual. Comfortable again, almost. Why he had turned down her invitation was a puzzle, but it was one Dell wasn’t quite ready to dwell on. He’d suggested waiting a few days; rationally, the idea was sound. Maybe she’d be able to exorcise the demons of desire curling through her body and making her ache with need.

  Jovi turned at her approach, his face beaded with sweat and his mouth tight with irritation. She grinned, unable to help herself, and he muttered a curse under his breath and thrust the reins out at her.

  “I saddled a Derby winner last year, and this — this — ” Words failed him, and he just glowered at her.

  “Josie, you’re being bad,” Dell crooned, easing around Jovi and laying a gentle hand on the mare’s glossy neck. She patted the broad cheekbone, and Josie turned to nuzzle her leg, without nipping. Continuing to talk to the mare, she ventured a glance back at Jovi. “If you’ll put the saddle on, I’ll cover your … backside.”

  He growled something unintelligible but lifted the saddle again slowly, settling it over the mare’s withers. Dell smiled as Jovi carefully drew the girth under the chestnut stomach and buckled it.

  “She doesn’t kick,” she assured him. “You’re way too timid about those hooves. Biting is her only vice.”

  “You shouldn’t let her get away with it,” he groused.

  “I don’t sweat the small stuff,” Dell retorted cheerfully.

  “Small stuff? My leg and my butt are black and blue and you — you’re grinning!” He sounded so plaintive that Dell couldn’t bite back a low laugh.

  “Men are such babies,” she said, shaking her head at him. She nudged him out of the way with an elbow, caught the stirrup, and swung into the saddle easily, then looked around.

  “You’re not coming?” She asked the question lightly. She didn’t want him to think she was still after his body.

  He considered her question, then shrugged. “I could, I guess. My research can wait.”

  “Research?”

  “Tell you in a minute. Let me get a horse.” He cast a glance up at the sun, frowning. “Although I don’t understand this penchant for afternoon excursions in hundred-degree heat.”

  “When else can you ride, here in Webb County? Even December’s hot.”

  “True,” he conceded. “Wait for me, okay?’ She nodded and trotted Josie around the ring while she waited for him. He returned quickly, leading the one remaining Appaloosa and carrying an extra hat.

  “Here,” he said. “You’ll burn to a crisp if you’re not careful.”

  “Afraid I’ll wrinkle?” she teased, and he frowned at her and swung up onto his horse.

  “Wrinkles don’t worry me,” he muttered. “Skin cancer does.”

  “You’re in a somber mood today,” Dell noted. “Thanks.”

  “Where are we going to ride?” he asked as she headed Josie down the drive to the pasture gate.

  She hesitated, not sure she wanted to tell him. She planned on riding across the pasture, over to the fence that intersected with the Simmons’ place. And seeing if anything looked amiss. Even though that Ortega man had said he didn’t think the property had a real problem with unwelcome visitors, looking couldn’t hurt. But Jovi didn’t like her to visit the cabaña, so she didn’t know how he’d feel about her current plans.

  “You have no sense of adventure,” she protested, stalling as she urged Josie back into her ground-eating trot.

  “I proved that last night, though, didn’t I?” Jovi asked, riding alongside her. She turned, startled. His eyes met hers, and his lips twitched.

  “Regrets?” she challenged, and he shrugged and reached out to touch her arm.

  “Of course I regret it. You know I want you, Dell. But we’re doing what we have to.”

  She was silent, unsure what to say. His fingers, light on her arm, burned through the cotton of her long-sleeved blouse.

  “Maybe,” she said, finally, shifting her arm to hold the reins more comfortably. His hand fell away, and she turned her attention back to their path, but she could feel him watching her. Wanting her. He wasn’t lying about that. She knew he still wanted her. “Jovi … if it’s wrong now, it’s going to be wrong in a day. Or a week.” She faced him again, her gaze level. “You need to know that.”

  He sighed, loudly enough that she heard it over the horses’ hooves striking rock, deeply eno
ugh that she watched his chest heave under his patterned Western shirt.

  “We’ll see.”

  “Yes.” She tightened her knees, and Josie sprinted ahead of the Appaloosa, startling Jovi. The rush of hot wind in her face was exhilarating. Dell leaned lower, letting the horse run, heading in the general direction of the fence line. Jovi’s horse didn’t have a chance to keep up, and she reluctantly reined Josie into an easy lope, circling around to let him catch up.

  “Not funny,” Jovi gritted as he slowed the winded gelding to a walk. “You shouldn’t race off like that.”

  “Why?” Dell demanded. “Josie’s not even hot.”

  “You should have let me ride her, so I’d have had a chance.”

  “Ride her?” Dell asked in disbelief. “You couldn’t even saddle her!”

  Jovi frowned and tugged at the brim of his hat. “Control freak,” he muttered, without real ire. “What now, Ms. Rosales?”

  She looked across the field and back at Jovi. Now was as good a time as any. “Uh … we keep riding toward the fence.” She waved a hand in the general direction of the river. “Then we follow it and make sure everything’s … okay.”

  He raised an eyebrow questioningly. “And if it’s not? Have you ever asked yourself on one of these daring excursions just what you’d do if you ran into some kind of trouble?”

  “I’m guessing I’m safer with you than without you, wouldn’t you say?” She smiled sweetly at him. “So wouldn’t you rather I invited you on one of my daring excursions?”

  He gave up. “Sure. I’m delighted you want me to ride with you in two-hundred-degree heat, unarmed, in danger from alien smugglers and drug smugglers and rabid coyotes — ”

  The appaloosa shied suddenly, violently. He managed to stay in the saddle, although he slid precariously in the worn stock saddle and clutched at the horn to keep from coming unseated.

  “ — and frightened horses,” Dell offered, adding to his list of dangers. She looked around carefully, but didn’t see what had caused the usually placid animal to shy. “Rattlesnakes, too, maybe, although I don’t see one.”

  He shook his head. “Tell me again why I left Florida,” he groused, heading his horse on toward the fence line. “Stay with me, Dell. Don’t you dare go charging off again. You could get me killed like that.”

  She grinned cheekily at him. “The idea has merits — especially after last night.” Ignoring his startled expression, she clicked to Josie and trotted on past him. She wouldn’t race off and leave him, but she wouldn’t ride next to him feeling his heat burn along the length of her body, either.

  • • •

  A few minutes later, they entered the scraggly tree line with relief. The trees were a mixture of stunted live oak and mesquite, hardly towering shade producers, but they were well established and offered some respite from the heat. Birds rustled and complained in the branches above, and little lizards darted here and there, scattering from the danger of the horses’ hooves. Dell smiled at the tiny, flustered inhabitants, but sat up and paid more attention to Josie’s demeanor; thoroughbreds were known as hot bloods for a reason, and Josie was skittish.

  “The ride must have mellowed her,” Dell told Jovi, when a snake, sliding across the path in front of them, failed to raise even a snort of alarm. “She should have gone bonkers by now.”

  They followed the ill-defined path along the fence, dodging branches and guiding the horses carefully over the rough terrain. The ground began to slope down toward the river, and Dell looked around with careful attention. According to what Ortega had said, this rough trail would bring them to the corner of their property, where some kind of unusual activity had recently occurred.

  As they rode, Dell squinted and peered into the brush, looking for telltale signs of campfires or food containers or any other evidence of human encroachment, but she saw nothing. She sensed rather than saw Jovi’s heightened awareness as he rode behind her, and remembered how easily he’d spotted the deer on the ride with the girls. Must be the military or law enforcement training, she realized, annoyed she’d never thought about it before. No wonder the man was so observant.

  As the land leveled out onto a trail that ran parallel to the river and toward the cabaña, the horses broke into an easy trot, and Dell relaxed in spite of herself. There certainly didn’t seem anything amiss. If anyone had crossed her property illegally, they were gone with none of the signs that would have pointed to frequent or lengthy use of the area.

  “Well, I won’t say that pilot was wrong, but I sure don’t see anything that shouldn’t be here,” she told Jovi, and he shrugged and looked around again.

  “Not now, anyway. Whatever it was must have been isolated.” He still seemed tense, though, more wary than she was. “And it can’t hurt that we’re here. If there’s a regular presence of any sort, I’m sure visiting more should help keep away trespassers.”

  “Are you saying I should come here more often?” she asked sweetly, and he glowered at her.

  “You know better than that.” He reached out, catching Josie’s reins and stopping her. “Dell, you can kid about it, but this is really not a place you should come at all.”

  She frowned at the grim warning and shook her arm to free her reins. “That’s ridiculous, don’t you think? Being careful is one thing, but this is my ranch, and why should I stay away?” She shook her head decidedly. “I’ll ride anywhere I want to, Jovani Treviño. No one is going to stop me.”

  Jovi sighed, and gazed out at the placid river, wide, green, and scarcely moving in the afternoon heat, then turned back to her. “Foolish, foolish pride,” he muttered, and kneed his horse forward. “At least, that’s all I hope it is.”

  Dell trotted after him, not sure she’d heard him over the horses’ hooves. “What?”

  He shrugged and cast her a sideways glance. “What are you proving, Dell? And to whom? Me? You’d be a lot better off thinking about Becky and the girls.”

  “I’m not sure I know what you’re saying,” Dell retorted. Their knees brushed as the horses sidled closer together to go around an overhanging branch. Jovi batted the branch away from their faces, and when he let go of the limb, his arm grazed her shoulder so lightly she wondered if the touch was deliberate or accidental.

  He sighed heavily, and the sound seemed loud even among the river sounds of birds and rustling lizards. “Coming down here is stupid,” he said finally, repeating the warning he’d given over and over. “You’re not afraid, Dell, and maybe there’s nothing to be afraid of. But how can you take chances with Becky? How much would your bravery mean to that little girl if something happened to you?”

  She gaped. She’d only fleetingly thought of that, and she didn’t like him telling her she should worry. Her ranch should be safe, for God’s sake — was safe. He was just — just — she couldn’t figure out his concern. But she didn’t want to listen to his warnings. He had no right to bring Becky into this. She thought of the tiny little girl, so full of laughter and love, and blinked away sudden tears. The toddler’s life would be unaffected by her riverside rides because there were no real risks, in spite of Jovi’s continued insistence. But all the same, she might very well lose the little girl someday.

  Grimly, she turned Josie away from the river, trusting the mare’s power to carry her up the embankment and back toward the pasture. She heard the flurry of movement as Jovi, startled by her unexpected maneuver, followed.

  “What’s this all about?” he demanded, catching up. “Weren’t we going all the way around?”

  She shook her head. “Too long and too hot,” she said succinctly. He’d used Becky to worry her, and he’d succeeded. But she had no intention of admitting his logic had backfired, because she, not Becky, stood to lose everything.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The next day made Dell wonder about returning to work after all. Sh
e sat at a table draped with an immaculate white cloth, surrounded by business people, and wished she could be back at the ranch.

  “So, how’d I do, girl?” Hal McDade’s booming voice made Dell’s hands clench in her lap, and she was glad the table hid her tightly knotted fingers. The oilman was impossibly rich — and impossibly boorish, though he didn’t mean to be. Dell had dealt with him in the past, and knew his frequent gaffes were the products of a culture and an upbringing now frowned upon. In spite of his firm’s admirable hiring policies, he regularly infuriated women and minorities of all kinds with his good-old-boy humor. He had just delivered the brief speech he intended to present in Monterrey to the governor of the Mexican state of Nuevo Leon. His Spanish, while well intended, had been mangled, and she didn’t think the cosmopolitan governor and his fashionable wife would appreciate the bedroom jokes about politicians.

  She sipped her tea, trying to find a polite way to tell him to send an emissary — or just not speak.

  “You know,” she ventured, unable to stand another swallow of tea, “most of Mexico’s top leaders speak English fluently. But it’s sort of traditional for them to deliver speeches in their own language — in Spanish. Maybe you should bow to that and use English in your speech.”

  He plopped down in the ornate chair, immune to the discreet elegance around him, and frowned at her from under his bushy, graying eyebrows. “You think?” A huge paw swiped across his mustache and mouth, not wiping his frown away.

  “Is my Spanish that bad?” he asked after a minute. “Still?”

  Dell couldn’t quite not smile, and across the table, his secretary Carmela laughed out loud.

  “Your Spanish is horrible,” she said, with none of Dell’s discretion. “Absolutely hideous.” She rolled her dark eyes at Dell.