Gage

by Emilia Hartley

  Dan looked away with a rueful smile. “Well, I wasn’t exactly being a good Samaritan when I got hit, so, uh…” he tailed off, and Savannah let it hang unfinished in the air, hoping it was a good enough answer for the alphas to accept.

  She could feel them all staring at her, waiting for a response of any kind. A shiver ran involuntarily up her spine. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but after that bit of news, I could use a cup of coffee,” she said.

  Nick murmured something in Jo’s ear as Savannah moved to the coffeemaker, Jo nodding affirmatively before saying, “Make one for me, Savannah, if you don’t mind!” before trotting out of the office entrance.

  As the door closed behind Jo, Savannah’s heart rate spiked. She couldn’t stop the nerves, and she knew they could hear them roiling within her as she fought and failed to calm her emotions. She couldn’t think of a worse scenario than being alone with the alphas as they tested her loyalty in the presence of a fellow Northern Wind bear. There was nothing honest about what was happening here; she was sure she would fail.

  Savannah poured Jo’s coffee in silence before making her own. Hiding her face behind the steaming mug, she slowly turned back to the bears in the office. “So,” she finally breathed, eyes moving over Nick and Tom, finally settling on Dan. “Another shifter.”

  “Yeah,” Dan replied, eyes moving from Savannah to Tom. “Why are we acting like it’s a secret?”

  “Mine is,” Savannah said with a shrug. “She knows you’re one?”

  “She hit me with a car while I was still in bear form,” Dan replied matter-of-factly. “Why not just tell her?”

  Savannah averted her gaze. “It just doesn’t feel right. Human’s shouldn’t know.”

  “And we respect that here,” Tom added, spearing Dan with a heavy gaze.

  “Wait, she hit you with her car?” Savannah asked, Dan’s words catching up with her frazzled mind.

  Dan shrugged. “I didn’t exactly give her a choice. I, uh… was doing some pretty crappy things under some pretty crappy orders.” He shot her a meaningful look. “I don’t come from a very good place. Took me getting knocked silly by a car and locked in a garage den for a month to figure that out, weird as that sounds.” Savannah couldn’t agree more. She was starting to realize it herself.

  “Remember the Northern Wind pack?” Tom asked. “Dan is… was a part of it. We’re not too sure on how current that information is though—this old pack leader isn’t very forgiving—so he’s been hanging out with us while he heals.”

  “Not to mention Jo felt guilty about banging him up,” Nick added with a stretch. “Even if it was to save my life.” Savannah saw Dan flinch as if Nick had punched him in the gut. Nick waved his worry away. “It’s in the past. Don’t fret.”

  “Anyway, he’s here until he’s ready to move on,” Tom explained. We figured we’d waited long enough to tell you guys about each other. So here we are.”

  “Move on where?” Savannah asked, genuinely perplexed. She was a newer bear in the Northern Wind, but even she knew enough to be certain that if Lucas had left Dan to die after sustaining injuries bad enough that she still wasn’t fully recovered even over a month later…

  Lucas was sure Dan was going to die. He didn’t want him back. She was sure of it. So what was Dan’s game plan? And what’s more, could she do the same?

  Nick shrugged. “In a perfect world? Here.”

  Savannah gasped slightly. “You mean…”

  “Yep. Asked him to join only yesterday.” Nick’s gaze met Dan’s. “Offer’s still on the table, by the way. But I won’t pressure you about it.”

  Dan looked at Nick contemplatively. “I appreciate the opportunity,” was all he said remaining non-committal.

  “Yep,” Nick replied, glancing down at Dan’s injured leg. “You’ve still got time.”

  “Just don’t take too long,” Tom added with a small grin. “We don’t like you that much.” Nick chuckled and Dan even cracked a smile.

  Looking at the easy repartee that the three bears shared, Savannah suddenly found it hard to breathe. “Excuse me,” she mumbled, hastily setting down her mug of cooling coffee. “I need some air.” She stumbled out into the parking lot before anyone could think to stop her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Savannah walked deep into the woods, ignoring Jo’s look of concern as she rifled through her car for whatever Nick had originally sent her outside for. She just needed to get away. Everything was changing so fast, she had so much new information to process. She wasn’t really sure how to move forward. Tilting her head back, she took a deep breath of the woodsy breeze, working to calm her thoughts.

  “Everything okay?” Savannah’s eyes snapped open to a mildly concerned Tom standing before her. His head tilted in confusion. “Savannah?”

  She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and focus on the conversation Tom was attempting to have with her. Letting out her breath in a long sigh, she finally said, “I’m just… confused, I guess.”

  His dark eyes flickered. “Yeah, I got that feeling.”

  She ran a hand over her face, wanting to tell Tom everything, but knowing she couldn’t. She felt completely helpless. “I’m sorry, Tom.”

  He frowned. “What for?”

  So much. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “For everything, honestly. For complicating your life by coming to work here. For stressing you out.” She hesitated before finishing, “For running away from you last night.” She leaned against the thick trunk of a nearby tree, sliding down to sit on the cool forest floor.

  Sitting next to her, Tom looked deeply into her eyes. He didn’t seem angry, or even suspicious. Only concern for Savannah marred his strong features as he gazed at her, and she could see him working to continue the conversation.

  “Why did you run away last night, Savannah?” he asked, quietly.

  “Because I was afraid,” she answered, immediate and honest. “I’m afraid of what moving forward would mean for us. I’m not even a part of your pack.”

  Tom blinked. “You could be,” he said matter-of-factly.

  Savannah silently cursed herself, remembering that she was supposed to be packless and therefore not bound to anyone. “It’s just, I don’t think that pack life is for me, Tom. “

  “Why not?” he asked, voice tinted with hurt.

  She shrugged. “I’ve always been a wanderer. And this… this has been great. Better than great. But I feel like if I commit to settling down here, our differences would end up clashing. I don’t know if… whatever is budding between us right now can survive that. I don’t think I could risk it.”

  Shaking her head, she whispered, “I was never meant to fall for you.”

  Tom gave a worried smile. “That’s why it’s called falling, Savannah. People rarely plan for it.”

  “And I know that,” she agreed, “but I just can’t...” She let her voice trail off, unsure how to continue.

  “I can’t help what I feel,” she restarted. “I really do want to be with you.” She watched Tom’s eyes light up at her confession, and allowed herself a fleeting moment to feel a lightness in her own heart as well as she finally admitted to herself what she’d desired from the day she met him. “But it’s tough not to have doubts. My body and my mind are on different wavelengths, and I’m not really sure what instinct to listen to. So much could go wrong, but so much could go right, too.”

  “I want to be with you, too, Savannah,” Tom murmured, laying a gentle hand over hers where it rested on her lap. “And I’ll admit that I’ve been scared, too.”

  “You, scared? She asked, voice slightly incredulous. “Of what?”

  Tom shook his head softly. “I’m sure you already know by now, but I’ll try to explain.” He ran a hand through his dark hair, breathing out a large sigh before continuing.

  “Look, I don’t… trust, easily. That was always more Nick’s forte. I was the big wrought-iron gate that kept people from getting to the super welcoming front
door, if that makes any sense. So naturally, you could assume that ‘falling in love’ wasn’t something that I’d ever looked forward to.

  “And that was true, even after I met you. I can admit now that I’ve felt… things since the moment we met, but the idea of pursuing them or even acknowledging them, defaulted me to the one emotion I know I can count on most in my life.”

  “Distrust?” Savannah quipped softly.

  “Bingo,” Tom answered, flashing a quick grin. “You always hear that love is a distraction. Well I believed that.”

  “You don’t anymore?” Savannah asked, and she couldn’t help but feel hopeful.

  Tom shot her an apologetic look. “Oh, no, I still do.” He smiled a bit. “But now I wonder if a bit of distraction isn’t such a bad thing every once in a while?”

  Savannah’s heart nearly burst while listening to him. She still had so much doubt and so much fear, but she wanted to believe that maybe Tom’s hope was the first step they needed to grow what they had into something that could beat the hold Lucas had over her.

  Tom rubbed the back of his neck ruefully. “But I mean… it’s love. I don’t have the expertise that other men do when it comes to this stuff. How do I know I’m doing all the right things to express love?”

  Savannah grinned. “How many times will you say you love me before you let me kiss you?” she whispered. Tom’s eyes widened in surprise, as if he hadn’t noticed he’d used the word once, let alone several times. In a bout of bold resolve, Savannah leaned forward and pressed her lips to Tom’s before he could say otherwise. A single tear slid down her cheek, but she wasn’t sad. For once in her life, something was going right. In this moment, only Tom was certain. She’d deal with Lucas and all the problems he brought with him later.

  “Savannah,” Tom breathed when she pulled back, looking deeply into her eyes. “Please don’t run away from me again.”

  “I won’t,” she promised as he gently brushed the tears from her cheek. “I won’t run ever again.”

  ***

  Savannah and Tom had allowed a bit of time to pass as they shared their alone time together in the woods, basking in the confession of love they’d been avoiding for weeks. A delicious shiver ran through Savannah’s body as she recalled curling herself in his embrace and thinking about being able to do so on a daily basis. Everything about the time they’d shared on the forest floor felt right. She’d do whatever it took to preserve the new life she’d choses to begin with Tom.

  “Savannah?”

  Turning in her chair, Savannah gave Jo a quick smile. “What’s up?”

  Jo grinned in return. “Nick and I have to make a quick trip just outside of town. We won’t be gone long.”

  “That’s no problem at all,” Savannah replied.

  Jo’s gaze shifted towards the back door, now left unlocked after Dan’s revealing. “Dan will still be here,” Jo continued. “But Tom’s around, too. If you want, we can lock the door before we go. We don’t think Dan’s would try anything, but I want you to feel safe.”

  “No, no, I’ll be fine,” Savannah assured. She needed to set aside time with him away from prying eyes. Jo really was too nice for her own good sometimes. “Now go, I don’t want to keep you.”

  “Okay, okay,” Jo minded, still glancing back reluctantly before the office door closed shut.

  Savannah let out a small breath as Jo loaded herself into a car with Nick and they took off down the street.

  She allowed herself a moment to collect her thoughts before standing. As she stepped back from the computer desk, the back room door swung open. “Are they gone?” Dan’s voice whispered.

  “Yeah, but Tom’s still in the garage,” Savannah replied quietly.

  They listened in silence to the muffled sounds of auto machinery and the tiny signal of some classic rock song playing in the garage. Dan nodded. “This is the closest to alone we’ll get.” He limped over and, without warning, threw a large cordial arm over Savannah’s shoulder.

  “Now can you tell me what the hell is going on?” he asked, pulling her into a strong hug.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Savannah tried not to stiffen in Dan’s embrace. The Northern Wind wasn’t keen on physical contact, and she wasn’t honestly all that close to Dan either, so the sudden contact surprised her. “It’s kind of a long story,” she began.

  Dan finally pulled away, eyes cautious. “I don’t think we have time for a long tale.” He grinned. “But you got out! That’s good, at least.” He looked around. “Only you though? Did Nick and Tom offer to protect you or something? Are anymore of the Northern Wind coming?”

  Savannah held up her hands. “Whoa, whoa. Calm down.” Savannah gave Dan a perplexed stare. The stoic second that she remembered was nearly as fearsome as Lucas himself. Tall and brutish and willing to follow any order with extreme prejudice. This new Dan that hugged and asked way too many questions was too different for her to process.

  “What’s gotten into you?” she asked, remembering at the last second that he was the ex-second of a cruel leader and that she might want to police her tone a bit better. “If you don’t mind answering,” she hastily tacked onto the end.

  Dan only looked confused. “Just happy to see another of the Northern Wind safe,” Dan answered simply.

  Savannah didn’t reply, and Dan’s eyes widened slightly in comprehension. “Oh. I know you’re probably not used to seeing me like… this.” He shrugged. “I’m just good at what I do. I become whatever my leader needs me to be. Lucas needed someone large and intimidating and built like a Mack truck to play shield behind. I needed a pack to belong in. So…” He let the sentence trail off.

  “And what are you now?” Savannah asked. “Is whatever you are right now—is it something that Nick or Tom needs?”

  Dan thought on her words a moment. After a bit of silence, he looked at her with revelation in his eyes. “No. They don’t need… anything, if I’m being honest. Maybe more men to stop Lucas, but nothing from me specifically. I’m being… just me, I guess.” He looked mildly confused. “I haven’t been free to do that in a while; I guess I can see why you’re so confused now,” he finished with a grin.

  Savannah smiled, thinking it was best not to point out that Dan just indirectly acknowledged Nick and Tom as his leaders. “Well then, it’s nice to meet the real you, Dan.”

  He flashed a real smile of his own. “Feels good to be back. So what’s new?”

  Savannah’s smile fell. “Well, the biggest news is pretty much everyone in the Northern Wind thinks you’re dead.”

  Dan frowned. “Is that what Lucas told them?”

  Savannah nodded. “Yeah. You must’ve been pretty bad for him to think you were done for.”

  Dan shrugged, his face falling. “It wasn’t a matter of whether I’d survive or not. The moment I failed, he just stopped caring. It’s how he’s always been. I likely wouldn’t be alive right now if Nick and Tom weren’t there to chase him off. He’d have time to finish off weak pack members himself.” Dan shuddered, but not like he was afraid. Savannah thought it was more like a shiver of succumbing, like the life he’d once live had been so normal, but looking back he couldn’t remember why or how. She felt exactly the same way.

  “Lucas doesn’t tolerate failure,” Dan finished with a haunted look in his eye.

  “That’s not refreshing to hear at all, considering I’m actively planning to fail it up, big time,” Savannah muttered.

  Dan’s eyes snapped to her, then to the garage door where Tom lay beyond, realization dawning on his face. “Wait, you mean you’re not out?” He looked back to her, incredulously. “You’re a mole?” He hissed in a horrified tone.

  There was a sick feeling in Savannah’s stomach. It sounded infinitely worse when said out loud. “Yeah. Lucas sent me here to get them to trust me. I’m not sure what was supposed to come after that, but… I’m done. I want no part of Lucas’s plan to overthrow the alphas.” She shuddered. “But I’m not sure what this m
eans for me. He surely won’t just set me free with a handshake and a hearty farewell.” She recalled the night at the lake with a sickening flip-flop of her belly.

  “Surely not,” Dan agreed. “I’ll offer what help I can. Even if that means helping the alphas beat Lucas back for a while longer.” He gazed imploringly at Savannah. “But we know just how bad the Northern Wind can be now. How bad Lucas can be. That’s no way for a pack to be run. We need to get as many bears out of there as possible.”

  Savannah swallowed hard. She didn’t really want to play the hero. She didn’t think she was cut out for it. Getting herself out so she could be with Tom with no fears of Lucas was her number one priority. “I don’t know, Dan.”

  “You know that pack, Savannah,” Dan tried to influence. “It grows a few bears a week. He recruits the beat down, the lonely, the young, and the ones who don’t know any better. He sells his sick brand of ownership with lies and half-truths. I can only imagine the lies you’ve caught him in since infiltrating the alphas.” He growled, low in his belly at the confirmation that Savannah couldn’t hide from her face. A lot of Lucas’s words did seem to hide truth when she got the full picture, right down to Dan’s death.

  Thinking back, she realized he’d never actually said Dan was killed. Flood did.

  “And the Northern Wind seems to grow all the more powerful for it,” Dan continued. “Eventually, he will gain enough bears to best Nick and Tom.” Savannah’s heart skipped a beat at the prediction. “Maybe not today, maybe not this month, but soon. Unless someone stops him.”

  “And this time, he’ll go for the kill, no hesitation. He has no wish to get them to join his pack anymore.” Dan bit his lip. “They’re good people, Savannah. Whether I stay or go, they don’t deserve the fight we brought to them.”

  A pang of guilt hit Savannah right in the gut. She knew without a shadow of doubt that Dan was right. Whatever retaliation Lucas brought upon Tom and Nick and Jo, it would be her fault, at least in part. She had to take responsibility. Now was not the time for cowardice.