The Fidelity World_BELONG

by Tl Mayhew

  When Mack turns to leave, his eyes go wide as his gaze meets mine, but he quickly recovers and nods in my direction. “Lacy.” Then the heavy thud of his steps carries him down the hall.

  When Dr. Ackerman’s turns toward me, his face lacks any emotion. He tucks his hands in his pockets and leans against the frame of the door. “Lacy, is there something I can help you with?”

  I blink a few times to regain my composure. The reason I’m here is no longer important. The desperate need to find out what happened to my mother is at the forefront of my thoughts. “Actually, there is something I hope you can help with. I only have a few minutes before my shift, so I’ll make it quick.”

  He looks at me for a moment, then up and down the hall before gesturing through his door. “Sure, we can discuss it in my office.”

  His office is very plain and consists of only the necessities for someone in his profession. The stark room houses an oak desk with a couple chairs, a small oak bookshelf, and a loveseat that has seen better days. “Take a seat.” He nods toward one of the chairs in front of his desk, then sits behind it. His fingers form a steeple as he leans back in his chair. “So…what can I do for you?”

  The conversation I overheard has me on edge. I’m unable to mask my unease and I shift in my seat. “Well…um…I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I’ve been struggling with getting through a day without thinking about my mother’s last days. I thought I might be able to schedule some time with you to talk through some things.”

  He leans forward, placing an elbow on the desk and resting his chin between his thumb and forefinger. “The policy here at Magnolia Woods is very strict in that doctors practicing at this facility are not permitted to provide medical advice to employees at the same facility. I would like to help, but I’m not keen on putting myself in a position that could jeopardize my license, should the board members find out.”

  My face contorts in confusion. If what he said is true, how did my sister get a session with him? “Dr. Ackerman, please. Is there anything you can do? I don’t want to have another breakdown like I did this morning. They are happening more frequently now.” I pause, wondering if I should even mention my sister. Curious what his reaction will be, I take in a deep breath, then add, “My sister mentioned she was able to get a few sessions with you and it really helped her.” With pleading eyes, I do my best to convince him to help me.

  There’s a slight raise in his brows, but if I caught him in lie, he doesn’t show it. “Okay, I’ll do it, but not here. It’ll need to be after hours at my office in the city. I’ll have my secretary schedule something for the next day or so. But, Lacy, you can’t mention this to anyone—not even your sister. If anyone else finds out, I could lose my job and possibly my license.”

  “Thank you so much, Dr. Ackerman. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. I won’t mention it to anyone.” I’m swiftly on my feet, and almost jab him in the face as I extend my hand to shake his in gratitude.

  His smile is weak as he takes my hand, shakes once, then releases it. “So that we’re using the utmost discretion, might you have a middle name or another name I can schedule the appointment under?”

  “Oh. Um…sure. You can use my middle name, Renee, and my mother’s maiden name, Sinclair.”

  “Okay, Renee Sinclair. My secretary will be calling you sometime in the next couple days to let you know a time.”

  I step toward the door and turn. “Thanks again, Dr. Ackerman. I appreciate it.” He nods, and I step into the hallway, turning my head left to right to make sure I’m not spotted. If he gets caught working with me before I get any information, I’ll never get the closure I need.

  As I approach Mrs. Fitzgerald’s room, I slow my pace and peek inside the open door. She looks angelic, as she lies sleeping, the familiar beep of monitors the only sound echoing through her room. When I notice the sun is shining on her face, I step in the room and drop the shade, then as I’m about to the door, I hear the hurried squeak of rubber shoes on the linoleum floor coming toward me. I don’t step out of the way quickly enough and a clipboard jabs me in the chest followed by a body colliding with mine.

  “I am so sorry! Are you okay?” My sister’s voice is filled with concern, until she sees it’s me, then she drops it to a loud whisper and pushes me through the doorway back out into the hall, closing the door behind us. “Lacy, what the hell are you doing?”

  Still rubbing my chest, I direct my narrowed eyes at her. “I was just passing by when I saw the sun shining directly in Mrs. Fitzgerald’s face. I was just closing the blinds. You really should watch where you’re going. You could hurt someone.” I give her a wink as we make our way down the hall, our strides in line with one another. “I was just on my way back from Dr. Ackerman’s office. He said he couldn’t help, but gave me the name of a colleague. I should have an appointment in the next few days.”

  “Why couldn’t he help you?” she asks, her eyes narrowed in confusion. “He didn’t have any issues sitting down with me for a few thirty-minute sessions.”

  I lift my shoulders in my attempt at not making a big deal about it. “Something about policy and coworkers or whatever. Could be some new policy Magnolia Woods put in place, who knows? Anyway, at least I’ll be spilling my guts with someone.”

  “True. Well I’m glad you’re taking the step to speak with someone. I’m sure it will do you some good.” She checks her watch, then stops mid-step. “Hey, I need to speak with the dietitian and change something on Mrs. Fitzgerald’s menu. I’ll catch up with you later.” She heads toward the kitchen door, turning back for the last few steps. “You haven’t told me anything yet about your call with Clayton. I want to hear all the details. How about wine at your house tonight?”

  Just the mention of his name curves my lips into a sheepish grin. “Sounds great. Text me a time. And you won’t be getting all the details.”

  She nods, then disappears in the kitchen. The last thing I hear is, “Yes I will.”

  “You probably will,” I mutter under my breath as I make my way across the hall and through the door of my boss’s office to clock in five minutes late.

  Chapter 10

  Lacy

  “Who was that?” I ask, handing Tracy a glass of wine.

  “It was Shelly. She’s in the process of changing the schedule around, and with the way the days were lining up, she wanted to know if I wanted tomorrow off. But let’s not let my boring life take away from your call with Clayton. Spill!”

  I toss back half my glass of wine and contemplate how much I’m willing to tell. “I have to say, our conversation was amazing. It was a little awkward at first, but didn’t take long before we felt comfortable. He has a sense of humor, and his voice is fucking sexy.” I scoot up on the couch and tuck my feet under me as I add, “But you know what? It was nothing compared to the kiss we shared this morning.”

  Her hand goes to her heart as her eyes widen. “This morning? Wait…did he come over and stay?”

  “What? God no, I’m not that easy. But if I were…it would have been way more than just a kiss. I can’t even fathom being with a man as hot as Clayton.” I melt back into the cushions. “He had given me three choices when I saw him at the bar: coffee, drinks, or...anything else. And when I called him, he’d asked if I’d decided. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea, but there was no way I wasn’t seeing him. I had to know if the connection from so long ago was still there. Long story short, we met for coffee.”

  She releases a dramatic sigh, then turns toward me. “Was he the perfect gentleman, or did he give off the bad boy vibe? Details, woman! Details! You know I’m living vicariously through you.”

  Details roll off my tongue, but I leave some of the intimate stuff for only me. Like the way my body shifted when he pressed himself against me, showing me just how hard he was, and how his confident tongue danced with mine as he explored my mouth.

  “Lacy?”

  “Huh?”

  “Um…do I need
to leave the room? Maybe give you time to dwell on whatever thoughts put that ‘on the verge of orgasm’ look on your face.” She closes her eyes and opening her mouth in the form of an O, trying to mirror what my face must have looked like.

  “I did not look like that!” I smack her on the arm, my tone light and my smile big. “Enough about me. What about you? Why are you living vicariously through me and don’t have your own hunky man?”

  She shrugs. “Just haven’t found the right one I guess. Maybe Clayton has a brother?” Her laugh is half serious.

  “I think he might, but I believe he’s much older and married.”

  “Hmmm…I have nothing against an older man, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be the ‘other woman,’” she says, her mischievous grin visible over the rim of the glass.

  My snort echoes in my glass. “You are such a tramp.”

  “What? If this mystery man of yours is as hot as you say he is, I’d sure as hell take a shot at his brother. Although…I suppose there’s always the chance Clayton got all the good looks and there wasn’t enough left for his brother. You’ll let me know what he looks like as soon as you find out, right?”

  The lightness in her tone tells me she’s not serious, yet the questioning expression on her face has me doubled over in laughter. “Yeah, sure, I’ll let you know.”

  Tracy’s love life has not been rainbows and fairy tales. She’s always been drawn to the bad boy, and that has landed her in a number of abusive relationships, but her last boyfriend was different. He was quite the gentleman. He would open doors for her, send her flowers, and take her places without asking for anything in return. She fell hard for him. Unfortunately, about a year into their relationship, Tracy had shown up at my apartment door, tears running down her face, mumbling that he’d met someone else and moved out. It took her a long time before she got back in the dating game, but that was a couple years ago, and now that she’s back in, she’s all in.

  “Well, if this thing with Clayton pans out, I will make sure you’re the first to know if his brother becomes available.”

  She raises her glass. “I’ll toast to that.”

  I pick up the small stereo remote and turn on some music. We sit back, sipping our wine while listening to the pop music filter through the speakers.

  Without the distraction of conversation, my thoughts drift back to Dr. Ackerman. His secretary had called me, on my way home, to arrange an appointment for tomorrow evening and my nerves have been on edge ever since. I need to get access to our mother’s chart. If an appointment is the only way to do that then—so be it.

  I turn toward my sister. She has her head lying on the back of the couch and her eyes are closed. As I search her face, I tell myself she’s not keeping anything from me, but since she’s a nurse, she must’ve seen mom’s file, which means she knows more than I do. But I know if I come right out and ask her about the file, I’ll get a lecture on how I need to let go. Since Tracy knows both Dr. Ackerman and Mack, I decide that’s where I’ll start.

  With my voice low, trying not to scare her, I ask, “What do you know about Dr. Ackerman and Mack? They seemed to be having a heated conversation earlier today.”

  She shakes her head, still leaning against the back of the couch as her shoulders rise then fall. “I don’t know a whole lot about Mack. He’s worked at Magnolia Woods for some time, but frankly, he creeps me out, so I tend to keep my distance. Dr. Ackerman…well, he seems all right. When I sat down with him the few times after Mom died, he was very professional and easy to talk to.”

  “How about the talks you had with Dr. Ackerman? Are there any questions his colleague might ask I should be aware of?”

  “What’s with all the questions? Is there something going on?” Her eyes open and she looks over at me.

  I lean against the arm of the couch, then pull my knees up to my chest. “No. Nothing’s going on. I’m just nervous about talking to someone about Mom.”

  “It’ll be hard, and you’ll probably have to face some tough stuff, but you just have to confront it. Talk to them. Let it out and let them help you. It’s going to be better for you in the long run, and I know you can do it, Lacy.”

  “I’m so not ready for this,” I admit, taking in a deep breath.

  “You are. It will be okay. You’ll see. They won’t push you farther than you can handle.” She places her wine on the table and checks her watch. “It’s still early. Want to go do something? Maybe see a movie or go to the bar?”

  “Think I’m going to take a rain check and just hang out here.”

  She nods and gives me a pat on the leg. “I’m going to head out then.” We both stand, and she opens her arms, inviting me in. “I love you, Lacy. I know you’ll be fine, but I’m always here for you if you need me.”

  I pull back enough to meet her eyes. “Love you too, and I know you are. Thanks for being there for me.”

  When I lock the door behind her, I lean against it, then slide to the floor and cross my arms over my knees. After several moments of just sitting, letting the silence wash over me, I pull myself up and start the water in the tub.

  Chapter 11

  Dr. Ackerman

  A few months ago…

  Me: Mack. I need you in my office.

  Mack: Be right there.

  I flip through the pages of the patient’s file, scanning the information as I go. Elizabeth James, an alcoholic who has been heavily drinking since her husband was killed in a drug bust several years ago. She’s fifty-five years old, has two daughters, Tracy James, a resident nurse here at Magnolia Woods, and Lacy James, presently unemployed.

  I’d initially said no to a consultation on Elizabeth. Typically, I don’t treat patients when I’m fucking their daughter. But when said daughter was on her knees in front of me, begging me to help her mother, and my cock was only inches from her mouth, I didn’t have much choice but to give in.

  The heavy thud of quick knocks sounds on the door before Mack enters without waiting for a response. “You wanted to see me?”

  “Yes, have a seat,” I say, directing him to the chair across the desk from me. “We have a new patient arriving in a week. She’s set to be released from the hospital on Saturday and will be brought directly here. I expect she’ll be on a medical regimen before she’s coherent enough for me to begin a psychiatric evaluation.”

  “What does that have to do with me?” he asks, his expression blank.

  “I’ll continue to monitor her medical chart, but since I have other patients who need my attention, I don’t have time to stay on top of every single drug she’ll be prescribed. I expect you to provide updates. Should you see something, or should they ask you to give Mrs. James something that might keep her in an unconscious state—which we both know is not uncommon—I want to be aware and—”

  “Mrs. James? Any relation to Tracy?”

  “Yes, it’s her mother, but that’s not your concern. Listening to what I’m saying is.” I lean forward, my eyes narrowed as they meet his. “I would appreciate if you kept any treatment information between the two of us. Obviously, some treatments are going to be more strenuous on Mrs. James, and I don’t want Tracy stepping in or refusing treatment.”

  “Interesting,” he says, his gaze distant.

  The pound of my fist on the desk makes him jump and my raised voice has him cowering his chair. “Can you do that? Can you keep me informed while keeping your mouth shut? If not, you can forget we ever had this conversation, and I’ll make sure I find someone else to assist.”

  He raises his hands in surrender. “Take it easy. Yeah, I’ll keep you posted on the drugs we both know they’ll be feeding her. Is there anything else? I need to get back before Shelly starts paging me.”

  I wave him away. He’s at the door in seconds, placing his hand on the knob.

  “Oh, and, Mack?”

  “Yeah?” he responds, but doesn’t turn around.

  “I know your history. If you don’t want that shared w
ith anyone, say…of the law enforcement kind, I suggest you don’t mention anything to anyone about what we do here at Magnolia Woods.”

  He nods and pulls the door shut with a little more force than necessary.

  I don’t expect he’ll say anything. Mack has been here for as long as I can remember, and he needs this job, but as a precaution, it’s best to give him the reminder. There’s another knock at the door, but much quieter. “Come in.” My response is laced with irritation.

  The door opens, and Tracy sticks her head in. “Is this a bad time?”

  “No, of course not. Come in.”

  Her face is soft yet curious as she approaches my desk. Once she’s standing before me, she begins tugging on her ID badge. It’s a nervous habit, one I’ve tried to break her of many times, but my treatments thus far haven’t worked.

  My gaze moves over her body as I take in her long legs, small waist, and considerably large tits. She’s a fucking tease with those tight white scrubs on. She knows they make my dick fucking hard.

  The chair creaks as I lean back and put my hands behind my head. “Ms. James, I would ask why you’re here, but I expect I know why.”

  She shifts on her feet, then scans the room.

  “No need to be concerned,” I say, as I stand and make my way around the desk. “There’s no one else here.” My tone is low as I reach the door, flip the lock, then turn and meet pale blue eyes. Extending my hand, I curve my fingers, motioning her toward me.

  She brushes a strand of hair from her face, then steps forward.

  When she’s stops only inches from me, I place a finger under her chin and tilt her head up to meet my eyes. “I’ve decided to help your mother.”

  Her eyes close as she nods and releases a deep breath. The stiffness in her body melts away with the touch of my finger and words she’s been longing to hear.

  I press my thumb against her chin and pinch until her eyes open. “It’s not going to be a walk in the park. While her file details her condition, I won’t know how bad she is until I see her, but right now, it doesn’t sound good. You need to prepare yourself, and, Tracy, there will rules you’ll need to follow.” Releasing her chin, I place a hand on the curve of her shoulder. “The most important one: under no circumstance will you interfere in any of your mother’s treatments.”