The World of Normal Boys

by K. M. Soehnlein

  Now, their clothes are back on, the come towel is crumpled up on the floor and Scott is shuffling around the bed, lost to the jitters that overtake him whenever they’ve finished having sex. Robin lets himself lie back down, his arms gathering a pillow under his head. He finds himself inside a peacefulness so deep and rare it is hued with sadness. “Can I just ask you a question?”

  Scott studies him from above. “I know you’re thinking something, I can see it. You have that it’s-hard-being-Robin look on your face.”

  Robin smiles in spite of himself, then takes a breath to ask his question. “How come I never hear from you anymore? You could have called.”

  “Are you mental? No way was I going to call and have to talk to your parents.”

  Robin’s shoulders tense up guiltily, feeling the weight of his parents’ decision to contact Scott’s father that night. He wants to shake off this burden—he wants Scott to stop blaming him for this. “You know something?” he says, sitting up forcefully. “You’re a liar, Scott. You could have figured out some other way to get in touch with me.”

  “Talk about a liar—the whole time, you were talking one pile of shit to me and then running off and doing it with Todd fucking Spicer.”

  Scott says this without looking at him, but Robin hears the hurt and betrayal in Scott’s voice. It’s true, it’s true, he thinks. I did tell Todd things you told me, and then told you I didn’t tell him. But it’s not that simple. He tries to sort it out, at last willing himself to protest aloud: “You never told me anything about what went on with you and him. I asked, but you never told me.”

  Scott kicks a ball of clothing across the rug. “Look, Spicer played a lot of head games with me. He promised me shit and didn’t do it. He’d fuck with my head in front of his friends and slap me around and shit. OK? I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Robin stands up, approaches him. He lowers his voice. “I just want to know one thing. Why were you making fun of me? Huh? Why were you telling me I was cute and stuff? Were you just playing head games with me? You’re the one who started all of this. At The Bird, that was you. I would never have even tried to be your friend if you didn’t act like you liked me. And I would have never done it with Todd if you hadn’t acted like you’d stopped liking me.”

  “Robin, in my whole life, I never met anyone who had to talk about everything so much. Why you gotta fucking talk about everything?”

  Scott spins on his toes and stomps out of the room, into the kitchen, leaving Robin surrounded by his accusation, shouting after him, “Why won’t you talk about any of it?”

  He finds Scott standing on a small porch overlooking the backyard. This house, and the entire neighborhood, rests atop a ridge that slopes gradually down to the Palisades. Beyond rows of peaked rooftops, New York’s skyscrapers mirror slivers of pale sunlight against the flat gray haze. Between where Robin stands and where the city beckons on the horizon is a dense, cluttered grid of narrow streets, crisscrossing phone lines, uniformly drab houses and parked cars. This ridge is the same one he can see from the bus, the one that slowly reveals the skyline behind it the nearer you get. He thought this place would have been right at the edge of the cliffs; he is surprised this sense of closeness was just an illusion.

  Scott says, “Every time we, you know, fool around, I swear to myself I’m never gonna do it again.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s not right.”

  Robin bristles—this sounds like something coming from a Catholic sermon, not from Scott. “So? Neither is cutting school but you keep on doing that. ”

  “Cutting school isn’t the same thing. Cutting school is, like, getting away from fucked-up things. Fooling around—that’s like getting deeper into them.” He turns to Robin, wanting his agreement. “We can be friends. That’s all. Just friends. I mean no more fooling around.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “Good. So everything’s cool?”

  Robin throws his arms wide in exasperation and shouts, “How can you say that? Fifteen minutes ago we were doing it.” Scott shushes him, scanning the yards below for possible eavesdroppers, but Robin cannot hold back. “I’m not saying you have to announce it over the loudspeaker before the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, but give me a break, Scott. You could at least admit it to me.”

  “I’m just trying to make things normal in my life. Is there something wrong with that?”

  “Yes!” Robin exclaims. “When people who aren’t normal try to make their lives normal it doesn’t work. It’s like my mother. When she got pregnant, she thought she could have this normal life with my father and leave the city and be a housewife—but she’s not normal, so it isn’t working. She’s turning into a drunk because of it and making the rest of us miserable. Especially my father, who really could be normal.” The words spill forth quickly and without effort, but when he is finished he is shaking.

  Scott stares at him, tugging agitatedly on his T—shirt. “All I know is that the more normal my life gets, the sooner my mother’s going to want to come home.”

  Robin catches a glimpse of the hickey at the base of Scott’s neck. He remembers sucking the skin there, mesmerized by the thin rope of muscle between his teeth; he remembers Scott gasping his name while he did it; he said, “Robin,” just once, sounding full of wonder, entranced, grateful. That moment stands so sharply in contrast with this one now that Robin feels no confusion at all: he understands, perhaps for the first time, that Scott is not of one mind when it comes to him. He makes Robin feel like the greatest comfort he’s ever known and then, later, like the source of all his pain, just another problem in his fucked-up life.

  “I’m gonna go,” Robin says.

  Scott looks both alarmed and relieved. “You can stay a little while more, if you want. Gail probably won’t care.” He attempts a light-hearted laugh and rubs his collarbone. “I’ll just be keeping this covered up for a while.”

  “I’m going now,” Robin repeats, determined to get outside where he can be free of Scott’s mixed signals. He walks back into the house, with its stink of diapers and marijuana and greasy plastic toys, and points himself toward the front door.

  As he speeds through the rooms, the details are vivid, as if frozen by the flash of a camera. He doubts that he will ever be here again, which only makes him sure he will remember it forever. He got one thing he came here for—another chance to see Scott—but that was all. He let himself believe for a few minutes while they were kissing and lying together that Scott might love him, but he understands now that even if that were true, Scott would not admit it.

  He thinks back to that first day, hitchhiking with Scott, riding in the convertible, imagining himself on a magic carpet, making an escape. It was truer than he could have known—he feels so very far away from the person he was that day: the first day he ditched school, the first day he got stoned, the first day he kissed a boy. He has become this new person because of Scott; they’ve been together on that ride all along. But now? They need different things; they fear different outcomes. The voyage means something different to him than it does to Scott, and once those different meanings are in place, how much is left of what was shared together?

  The winter air slaps against him. Blinding sunlight blooms through the clouds. Behind him, Scott’s footsteps rush to follow. “Later,” Scott calls.

  “No,” Robin says, summoning up his exit line. “I don’t have that much time.” But he is not as strong as he has learned to act: when he commands himself not to look back, it is no easy thing.

  A Red and Tan coach is pulling up as he approaches the corner. He runs to catch it, then stops as he gets close enough to read its destination: Port Authority Bus Terminal. It’s not the bus back home. It’s going the wrong way.

  He climbs aboard.

  A READING GROUP GUIDE

  THE WORLD OF NORMAL BOYS

  K.M. SOEHNLEIN

  ABOUT THIS GUIDE

  The suggested questions are inten
ded to enhance your group’s reading of K.M. Soehnlein’s The World of Normal Boys.

  In this stunning debut, K.M. Soehnlein captures the spirit of a generation in the haunting, unstoppable voice of thirteen-year-old

  Robin MacKenzie, a modern-day Holden Caulfield, whose struggle for a place in the world is as ferocious as it is real.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. The World of Normal Boys has been called a “coming of age novel.” Yet Robin MacKenzie only ages from 13 to 14, and by the end of the book much is still uncertain about his future. How would you describe Robin’s journey? What awareness or insight into life does he gain? What does he lose?

  2. Robin’s closest relationship has always been with his mother, Dorothy, but over the course of the novel they grow apart. What is the cause of this distance? Locate the specific places in the novel where Robin begins to question and re-evaluate their relationship.

  3. The story is set in suburban New Jersey in 1978. How does the author use the artifacts and attitudes of the era to develop the characters and move the plot forward? How are the time and place reflected in the characters’ behavior and dialogue? How would this story be different if it was set today?

  4. At the beginning of the novel, Robin is experiencing the very first explorations of his sexuality (his first wet dream, his first time masturbating). By the end of the novel—just a few months later—he’s quite sexually experienced. How do you explain this accleration? What role do Jackson’s injuries and hospitalization play in Robin’s sexual development, if any?

  5. Jackson’s fall from the slide affects every member of the MacKenzie family differently. Describe how Ruby, Dorothy and Clark all change as a consequence of the accident. How do their relationships to each other change? What did you find most surprising about the way the family begins to unravel?

  6. Robin blames himself for Jackson’s fall. Talk about the role of guilt as a motivating factor for him. How does his reaction to the incident on the slide differ from Ruby’s and Larry’s? How does this play out for all three of them in the final climax on the roof after the funeral?

  7. Robin and Scott are very different types of boys, from different backgrounds, and yet they manage to become friends. What draws them to each other? What keeps them involved with each other, despite their frequent arguments? Do you imagine that they will be able to sustain some kind of friendship beyond the end of the novel?

  8. Todd Spicer is an object of fascination for Robin, and also a source of great confusion. He is sometimes friendly to Robin and sometimes bullies him. He pursues sexual encounters with Robin, and had a past relationship with Scott, but also seems to be involved with Debbie. How do you explain Todd?

  9. As Robin gets more deeply involved with Todd and Scott, he winds up lying to each of them about his relationship with the other. Why do you think he does this? What did you think of his behavior?

  10. Although Robin comes to recognize that his sexual desires are toward boys, he never gets to the point of labeling himself as “gay.” How does he come to understand his sexuality? How does that differ from what Todd and Scott each think about his own sexuality? How much do you think Dorothy recognizes or understands this part of Robin?

  11. From the beginning of the novel, Robin fantasizes a future life in New York City. How does this fantasy compare to the reality he experiences when he and Scott go to the city together? How does Robin’s perception of the city change?

  12. Throughout the book, tension between Dorothy and Stan is obvious but never explained. What do you imagine is at the root of their conflict? Why do you think the author keeps it mysterious? How does the conflict between Dorothy and Stan trickle down to their children?

  13. When Robin first meets Scott, Mr. Schatz has just given Scott a bloody nose. Robin recalls that he hasn’t been hit by his father since a spanking when he was very young. But Clark grows increasingly angry and violent toward Robin over the course of the novel. What are the implications of this rage on Robin? What does it say about the way the novel depicts relationships between fathers and sons?

  14. Many of Robin’s dreams are described throughout the novel. What do these dreams tell you about him? What effect do they have on the overall feel of the way the novel is written?

  15. Even though so many difficult events and significant milestones are packed into a very short period of Robin’s life, the novel never feels unrealistic. How does the author make such extreme events seem convincing and believable?

  16. What do you think the title means? Robin says in Chapter Two that he doesn’t understand “this whole world of normal boys.” In Chapter Eleven, arguing with his parents, he shouts sarcastically, “Everything’s normal, just perfectly normal.” In the final scene with Scott, Robin concludes that he, and his mother, are not normal—though he says this with some degree of acceptance. What do you think the novel says about the idea of normalcy, especially as it relates to boyhood, sexuality and family dynamics?

  The author gratefully acknowledges the following publishers for permission to reprint the following lyrics:

  “Last Dance.” Words and music by Paul Jabara. Copyright © 1977 Management III Music (BMI) and Olga Music (BMI).Worldwide rights for Management III Music and Olga Music administered by Cherry River Music Co. International copyright secured. All rights reserved.

  “(You Make Me Feel) Mighty Real” written by Wirrick James Tip and James Sylvester. Permission granted by Sequins at Noon Music and Spirit Two Music.

  “Horses” written by Patti Smith. Permission granted by Codikow, Carroll, Guido & Groffman, LLP

  “Just What I Needed,” by Ric Ocasek © 1978 Lido Music, Inc. Used with permission.

  “Staying Alive” © 1978 Careers-BMG Music Publishing, Inc. (BMI)/Gibb Brothers Music (BMI). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

  “How Deep Is Your Love” © 1977 Careers-BMG Music Publishing, Inc. (BMI)/Gibb Brothers Music (BMI). All rights reserved. Used by permission.

  “Touch Me.” Words and music by The Doors. Copyright © 1969 Doors Music Co. Copyright Renewed. All rights reserved. used by permission.

  “Riders on the Storm.” Words and music by The Doors. Copyright © 1971 Doors Music Co. Copyright renewed. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

  KENSINGTON BOOKS are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  850 Third Avenue

  New York, NY 10022

  Copyright © 2000 by K.M. Soehnlein

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

  All Kensington titles, imprints, and distributed lines are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales promotion, premiums, fund-raising, educational, or institutional use.

  Special book excerpts or customized printings can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write or phone the office of the Kensington Sales Manager: Kensington Publishing Corp., 119 West 40th Street, New York, NY 10018. Attn. Sales Department. Phone: 1-800-221-2647.

  Kensington and the K logo Reg. U.S. Pat. & TM Off.

  ISBN: 978-1-5756-6661-7

  First Kensington Hardcover Printing: September 2000

  First Kensington Trade Paperback Printing: August 2001

  ISBN-13: 978-1-4967-0788-8

  ISBN-10: 1-4967-0788-5

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  Printed in the United States of America