Heart of Glass (Heart #1)

by Lolah Lace

  “What the fuck ya’ll doing?”

  I didn’t feel any need to answer him. He was the enemy, a traitor, a cheater, a hoe-ass-bastard. I looked around and noticed all the shoppers that we held at attention. It was only three spectators. This is so damn ghetto. Black folks always acting a fool and today I’m one of those Black folks.

  “Your ex-bitch acting a fool.” She barked like she had read my mind.

  Dave glanced at me before glaring at her. “That’s not true. Kelby would never act a fool.”

  Good Point. But he didn’t know me anymore. I was on the verge of dragging his big booty hoe all through TJ Maxx & More by her cheap ass purple weave. Yes, this time it was pastel purple. Why?

  “So you must be fucking this bitch if you taking her side.” Her voice was worse than nails on a chalkboard.

  I could no longer bite my tongue. “You left me for this trash. Your mother would be so disappointed in you.” That hurt him. I saw it all over his face and that was my intent. His mother had died from cancer just like mine. It was something that I thought made our relationship stronger. I was wrong. He turned into a rat bastard.

  I paralyzed him with my words. I seized the opportunity to walk away with the sound of Victoria heckling me in my ear. She was yapping about something. I was proud of myself. I had turned a corner. I had reached a milestone. I hadn’t busted that bitch in her mouth. Hallelujah.

  I might fuck her up if I see her out on the street. Nah, I will fuck her up if I see her on the street. This bitch had a lot of nerve. She fucks my live-in boyfriend. Gets pregnant by him. Keeps the baby and ends up with the cheating scum-bucket. What more does she want? Evidently, it’s an ass whooping— I’m more than happy to give it to her.

  The feeling of empowerment slowly dissipated and was replaced with despair. I’m too old for this. I’m too old to fight anybody. I couldn’t help myself. I cried. I didn’t cry over Dave but I cried because I was stuck having to see them.

  I wished I could move clear across town. I never knew when I would be subjected to this arbitrary bullshit. I wanted to escape their world. I didn’t have anywhere to go. I didn’t need the bad credit that was inevitable if I broke my apartment lease. Dave left me high and dry. Both our names were on the lease. Leaving the apartment would tarnish my credit and let him have a small victory over me. I couldn’t let him win. He had already done enough to me.

  I probably could find another job as a waitress. I would be the lowest on the totem pole again. I wouldn’t have any regular customers with regular tips. All the veteran waitresses would hate me. They always thought I was there to replace them. They would treat me like crap, blame me for shit I didn’t do and start rumors I was sleeping with the boss just because they could. I had waited tables at half the places in town. I was tired of it. I wanted to do something else with my life.

  CHAPTER 5

  I wanted to get it all out of my system. I wanted to shed my good girl image. I had made up my mind. I was going to do it. I was going to meet a stranger and fuck him for money. I was probably going to have to do sex acts on him. Or was he going to do stuff to me? The escort job did not have a training class so I didn’t know what to expect.

  I didn’t care. I wasn’t ever going to be that girl. The girl that sat back and let people dictate my future. I was going to change my life. This money would change my life. This experience would harden me. I needed to be hard. I needed to have meaningless sex with some random stranger.

  When I gave Joel the greenlight I instantly regretted it. It was a rash decision to make. I was too chicken-shit to do it and to chicken-shit to back out. I think I could be this woman. I never even did a striptease for any of my exes. I never had a one-night stand. I just wasn’t this woman who did that sort of thing.

  I made an emergency call to Lahasia and she rushed over to calm me down. We both sat on the couch eating popcorn while I listened to her talk. I needed this talk. I was a wounded bird.

  “Look chick, most guys ain’t freaks. They regular as hell. They come quick. They terrible at eating pussy. They say stupid dumb ass shit. They got about four positions in they lame ass routine.”

  “How do you know I’m going to get someone like that?”

  “I don’t know but it doesn’t even matter.”

  “It matters to me. I’m not a hoe.”

  “Escort.”

  Correction. “I’m not an escort.” I faked a smile.

  “I know that and the dude knows that too. Just get these coins. This is not a big deal. I have never even made this kind of money, ever and I’m fine as hell. You cannot turn this down. He wants three hot nights of Black booty.”

  “Three hot nights is the same as three whole days. That’s a long time, too long. I don’t know what to expect.”

  “Expect to get fifty G’s on Monday morning.”

  “Money isn’t everything.”

  “Said the broke ass sistah living in a cardboard box. Please don’t even act like you don’t need this money. Not today, I just can’t. You deserve this money after what Dave did. This guy has to be loaded. Think about it— if he can just give you 50K and give Joel 10K he must be loaded. I get a damn two thousand dollar finders fee. No one gets a finders fee Kelby. This dude asked Joel how he found you. Joel told him one of his escorts is a friend of yours. Joel didn’t ask for my finder’s fee. This dude offered it. When Joel knew this guy wanted you he made him come off that coinage. This rich dude is shelling out a total of sixty-two thousand dollars to have sex with you.”

  “Right, why?”

  “Girl, are you serious?”

  “Yes, I’m serious.”

  “Oh Lord, I really hate when bad bitches try to act like they ain’t bad, cute and sexy. Seriously? Bitch, I got to tell you, you cute.”

  “I’m not acting. I know I’m not ugly. I know I can pull a guy.”

  “Yes, you can and you know it. I don’t hang around ugly hoes.”

  “Don’t call me a hoe.”

  “You better get used to it. For all them coins dude paying you, he probably will call you a hoe, a bitch, a slut, a hooker, a trick and the N-word.”

  “Hold up. Are you serious?”

  “About what?”

  “The N-word?”

  She raised her perfectly groomed eyebrows and pursed her lips. “It’s possible. Sticks and stones girl. Just get the money.”

  “Why would he say that to me?”

  “I don’t know why men do half of the dumb ass shit they do.”

  “This is what I know. He’s rich. He’s not fat and he’s White.”

  “Is that supposed to comfort me? How do you know he’s not fat?”

  “I asked. Joel told me he wasn’t. Joel doesn’t lie.”

  “I never slept with a White man before.”

  “They just like brothers. They just got light skin dicks.”

  There was no way I was going to tell her a saw Joel’s dick. “Have you been with one before?”

  “I’m an escort. Yes of course. Everything is the same. Don’t overthink it.”

  “Right.” I threw a random word out to make myself feel better. I had one foot in the door and one foot out somewhere in Alaska.

  I got myself together. I thought I needed convincing but I don’t know what I needed. I thought about everything Lahasia said. She stayed over until around ten. She tried to make me laugh. She tried to distract me from my upcoming date. She knew I was a scary cat.

  Nothing really mattered. The date had already been set for the encounter. I went along with whatever Joel said because I knew I was going to chicken out last minute. Things were different now. I saw Dave and Victoria. It wasn’t healthy to live so close to them. I wanted to get out of this lease. I wanted to get out of this apartment. I needed a fresh start. I needed the opportunity to do better. This was that opportunity. Hopefully. I can do this.

  CHAPTER 6

  The big day was intense. I had dubbed it Friday-Fuck-Day in my head. I cried for an hour the night
before my date. I wasn’t sure why they called it a date. It was more like a dangerous liaison.

  Seeing Dave wasn’t a good thing. Seeing his baby mama made me mad. He thought I was weak. He thought I was nothing. Why was a crying over a failed relationship with a lying asshole? But I did cry the night before I was going to meet this guy. I got a text from Lahasia and it almost made me smile— [You got this girl. You’re KELBY (get that) DOUGH-ZIER!] She took my last name Dozier and did the most with it.

  Joel had specific instructions for me. The day before Friday-Fuck-Day I was supposed to get a manicure and pedicure. He set up the appointments. I also had to get my privates waxed. It hurt like hell but it looked good when I came home and looked in the mirror.

  Today I was supposed to get up and shower. Pack a bag with a change of clothes, toiletries, and dress in sweats. He called to say he would be at my house at eight o’clock sharp. He showed up like I knew he would. He had a lot of money at stake. I wasn’t stupid he wanted me to open my legs big and wide. He wanted me to go through with this so he could get his cut.

  My weekend pimp was knocking at my door at exactly eight. I let him in.

  “Hey, Kelby.” He handed me a cup of coffee. I took it.

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s a vanilla bean latte. Asia told me that’s what you drink.”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  “Your nails are nice. That color looks good on your brown skin.” He noticed my nails.

  “Thanks.”

  He looked around my house without my permission. I wasn’t sure why until he rotated to me with his upturned nose.

  “You can get a better place with the money. How long do you have on your lease?”

  “Three months.”

  “Cool, I can hook you up with a condo to rent. I know this guy. He is really into me. He will find you a good rental in a good neighborhood for a reasonable price.”

  I wasn’t in the right headspace to take his words to mean anything. But I remembered that Lahasia said Joel didn’t lie. I hope he didn’t think I was going to come work for him. This is a one-time only affair.

  Joel rushed me out my apartment. He slung my overnight bag over his shoulder. He held my hand as we walked down the hall and to the elevator. I let him do whatever. He kind of calmed my nerves. He was still holding my hand when we got to the parking lot.

  Fuck! Just like it was planned. I saw them. I felt like I was being stalked. I had run into them more times this week than the last six months.

  I involuntarily squeezed Joel’s hand and he noticed.

  “Hun, don’t be nervous.” He assumed it was because of where I was going and what I’d be doing.

  “That’s my ex and his new girlfriend.” Why was Dave out here? He should be at work. His whereabouts were none of my business.

  Joel knew whom I meant. Dave was loitering about and practically drooling over Joel’s black Porsche. Victoria had her cell phone up to her ear. I never saw her with her damn kids. It took a while for Dave to notice Joel and I approaching. I was so happy Joel was holding my hand. Joel was fine and there was no way they would know he was gay.

  “Hey bro, you thinking about jacking my shit?” Joel clearly was joking about his car. Hopefully, Dave would take it that way. I was shocked he said anything at all.

  “This you?” Dave’s eyes left Joel and went right to our entwined hands. God is good— all the time.

  “The title and registration got my name on it.” Joel pulled me in close to him.

  Victoria lowered her cell phone to show me all her attention. “This your new man?” Jealously gleamed brighter than her glossy lips. Now, this bitch thinks she can ask me questions. Huh, ain’t that a bitch.

  Joel quickly answered for me. “This is me.” Joel had changed the way he spoke. It was just a little hood.

  “Kelby dating drug dealers now.” Victoria rolled her eyes.

  Joel chuckled. “I’m White. I’m a stockbroker.” The grin on his face gave me superpowers. Joel was a King, my Gay King. I didn’t know he could throw shade. But he was a major league pitcher of shade.

  Dave couldn’t speak and I loved that traumatized expression on his face.

  Joel popped the locks on his Porsche and opened the passenger door for me. I hopped inside. He placed my bag on my lap and closed my door. He uttered a few words that I couldn’t hear to Dave and Victoria before he came around to the driver’s side and got in.

  I was smiling. This small incident gave me confidence. I was going to just do what I had to do. It was one weekend of sex. I could just get the money and never look back.

  Joel knew what he was doing. At least I thought so. He wasn’t going to have me shacked up with old ass pervert. Joel was much better at life than me. He was really doing the damn thing even if it was illegal. I trusted him. He wouldn’t put me in danger when he clearly stuck up for me. He was a pimp but he wasn’t the kind that slapped his hoes around. He was too smart for that. He was smart enough to negotiate a price for my goodies that was way above market value. I could joke about this in my mind. Whatever it took to get me through this weekend.

  As soon as he pulled out of the parking space the realization hit me. This was really happening. I was going to have sex with a stranger. There were two stops we had to make first. I had to sign the non-disclosure agreement. Joel explained it to me and it seemed clear enough.

  Apparently, this guy valued his privacy. He needed assurances that I would never disclose his identity or talk about him or the time we spent together. Joel said it was normal for all his high-profile clients. He said it was just to safeguard against any scandals they may face if someone talks about the illegal encounters. Joel was adamant that this was the best course of action because it protected him, the client and the identity of his girls. I wasn’t one of his girls. Well, I was for three days. Joel made it clear to me that I had to sign the contract to get paid. I was happy to sign because I knew there would be no way I wanted to talk about doing something like this. Ever.

  The paperwork was at a law firm in a downtown office building. We rode the elevator up to the ninth floor. A receptionist ushered Joel and me into a room where a handsome White man with dark hair and blue eyes was sitting at a desk.

  The guy was a lawyer but I never got his name. His was about thirty and wearing a dark suit. He wore a gold wedding ban. I noticed Joel did all the talking while a quietly sat there and tried to look like a regular woman and not a paid hooker.

  I zoned out while Joel talked to the guy. They were cordial but not friendly. There was no introduction and although it was strange I didn’t care. I was trying to get out of my head. I was trying to build a wall up without asking Mexico to pay for it.

  This was all too awkward. I felt the lawyer’s eyes on me but he wasn’t too rude about it. He was subtle. He would look at me mostly when I wasn’t looking at him. He knew what this was all about and it made me feel cheap. The lawyer didn’t know this was my first and last time hooking. He probably thought I was a regular escort and I did this kind of thing all the time. He probably thought I had sucked five hundred dicks. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he knew I wasn’t a pro. Maybe he could see I was scared and inexperienced.

  The entire transaction went fairly quickly. The lawyer pointed and I signed. Joel and I left the office and went back down to his car. He sped away without a word. I was relieved that part of this was over with. After a few minutes, Joel was back talking to me.

  “Hun, we’re going to the salon next.” Joel glanced over at me. He was taking this with ease. I was inwardly freaking the fuck out.

  “What are they going to do to my hair?”

  “Just blow it out.” He noticed me fidgeting with my hands. “Hey, how you doing?”

  “Nervous.”

  “That’s okay. It’s normal to be a little nervous.”

  “Was his name on the contract I signed?”

  “Yes, but it was redacted.”

  “Why?”

  “He doesn�
�t want you to know his identity right away.”

  “Is he famous or something?”

  “Or something.”

  “I just thought he was rich, a businessman or something.”

  “He’s both. He’s a lot of things.”

  “What’s the big deal? How come you can’t just tell me his name?”

  “He doesn’t want me to disclose his identity. He wants to reveal himself to you. I think it’s a part of the foreplay.”

  “His identity is part of foreplay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Weird.”

  “Not really all that weird. You’ll be fine.” Joel reached over and squeezed my hand before placing his hand back on the steering wheel.

  “Was that his lawyer?”

  “Probably, but I’m sure he has more than one.”

  “Why do you think he has more than one?”

  “Kelby, he’s paying sixty thousand dollars for sex, well sixty-two. He wanted you as soon as I emailed your pictures. He didn’t even try to haggle with the price. I talked you up and give him a price I knew he wouldn’t agree to and he did.”

  “Really?”

  Joel peered over at me. “Yes, really. He wants you bad.”

  “Really?”

  “My point is if he can just toss 60K at a non-pro. He can afford to have more than one lawyer.”

  “Oh.” He made sense. Joel’s assessment only made this guy seem more mysterious.

  “That lawyer was sexy.” Joel changed the subject.

  I smiled. Joel noticed the lawyer just like I did. “He was married.”

  “Yeah, I saw the ring. And he’s married to a woman.”

  “How can you tell?”

  “My gay-dar is one hundred percent accurate.” Joel sucked in his jaws and popped his lips at me. “I can look into someone’s eyes and see their sexual orientation. I’m gifted like that.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, very. Your ex is straight. But his girlfriend, she likes girls too.”

  Huh. “Joel, my heart is beating out of my chest.”

  “Sweetie just take a few deep breaths. It’s sex, not the bar exam. You’ve fucked before. Be nice to him and he’ll be nice to you. If you can, you should try and enjoy yourself.”