The Diva Frosts a Cupcake

by Krista Davis

  Two quick bursts of light flashed behind Joy.

  “Joy?” I started with a very soft singsong voice so she wouldn’t be alarmed. “Joy?”

  “Nana! I’ll get your ring back.”

  I had no idea what she meant. What if I said the wrong thing, and she plunged into the river?

  Nina whispered, “Tell her to take a step back.”

  “Joy . . . step back. It’s Nana, Joy. I want you to step backward.”

  “I hurt her,” she moaned. “It was evil of me.” Her wail turned into a nightmarish scream, like she had been attacked.

  I feared she had jumped.

  Nina shone her light directly on Joy. Thank heaven. She’d cried out because Bernie had grabbed her around the waist. She kicked her legs like a wild woman and fought him. He turned around and passed her to Spenser, who held fast while Mars tried to calm her.

  They carried her out of the brush. She stopped fighting them but talked nonstop. None of it made any sense. She tried to walk, but staggered as though the earth were sliding away underneath her.

  For the second time that night, we called 911.

  While we waited for the rescue squad to arrive, she answered our questions politely, but seemed embarrassed when she had trouble finding words. She also conversed with people who weren’t there, which I thought extremely worrisome.

  Mars pulled me aside. “I found Nick’s number on the cell phone in her purse. He’s waiting for her at the emergency room.” He glanced over at Natasha. “I know it’s my turn to take Daisy, but given the situation with Martha, I think it might be better if Daisy stayed with you tonight. Is that okay?”

  “It’s always okay.” I was glad to know someone would be looking after Joy, too. “Do you think this has anything to do with that sting she complained about earlier?”

  Mars shrugged. “It’s very bizarre. Bernie says he’s seen people act like this under the influence of hallucinogens. I hope it’s not related to what the general has, or we could all be in trouble. Do you feel funny?”

  “No.” I hadn’t given it any thought, but I felt fine.

  “Me, either.”

  Bernie joined us. “Did you hear her say that she hurt someone and it was evil? Could she have been talking about Muffin?”

  “Muffin? You think Joy murdered Muffin?” asked Mars.

  “Shh. It’s possible.” I watched Joy play patty cake with someone who wasn’t there. “Those were pretty condemning words. On the other hand, maybe the person who murdered Muffin slipped Joy something tonight.”

  The paramedics made quick work of securing Joy to a gurney. They asked us questions about what she’d had to eat and drink, but none of us were experiencing anything remotely similar. I relayed the information about the sting she’d felt earlier, but other than that, there wasn’t much we could do. Our panic over her condition waned a hair when the ambulance pulled away.

  “Could we all take different routes home tonight?” asked Mars. “Just in case Martha is running along the street somewhere.”

  Mars had grown attached to her. Even Natasha seemed upset. Their long faces left no mistake that they were heartbroken.

  I walked Daisy to my car. We hopped in, and I rolled down the rear windows. It might be silly to think she would bark if she saw Martha, but she had barked at dogs on the street before. It couldn’t hurt.

  We drove to the tent to pick up Francie and Duke. On the way home, we scanned the quiet streets, on the alert for dogs.

  We arrived at my garage without seeing a single one. Francie and Duke went home through the gate that joined our properties, and I trudged to my kitchen door with a heavy heart.

  Mochie greeted Daisy and me with a long kitty stretch and a yawn. I picked him up and carried him to my den to check for messages. Nothing.

  It was too late to call anyone to check on General German. Other than prowling the streets of Old Town, there wasn’t much I could do. I suspected worry about the general, Joy, and Martha would prevent me from sleeping. The night air had been cold, so I heated milk for hot chocolate. I spooned rich powdered chocolate and sugar into a mug and added just enough water to dissolve them before stirring in the milk. I turned off the lights and padded into the sunroom where I curled up on the loveseat. Daisy sprawled at my feet, and Mochie jumped up on the loveseat, forcing me to change my position so he could snuggle on my lap.

  I stared out into the dark backyard, lighted only by a few strategically placed solar lights that were mostly just decorative.

  Mochie purred as I sipped my hot chocolate and contemplated the evening’s disasters. Normally, Humphrey would have stayed with us and helped search for Martha. But he’d left with everyone else, undoubtedly at Renee’s urging. Mars would say that I was jealous. I smiled at the thought. That was complete nonsense. I cared about Humphrey, though. He’d become a close friend, and I hated to think he might be hurt by Renee. I didn’t like the way she’d appeared to ignore him at the feast, or the way she’d used him for everything from running her booth to fetching her furniture. Helping friends was fine. I had nothing against that. But chances were good that either she or Joy had killed Muffin during an argument. I’d dismissed the possibility that Renee might have planned to pin the murder on Humphrey, but maybe I’d been too hasty. She had no problem using him for everything else she needed.

  Joy’s delusional comments had propelled her into the number-one suspect spot in my mind, though. She was probably still blathering on at the hospital. Maybe she would make a full confession. Would it be valid if someone had doped her up?

  Better yet, who would have wanted to do that? Muffin’s killer? Hadn’t Spenser heard Muffin shouting about a ring?

  The milk in the hot chocolate began to make me drowsy. Mochie, Daisy, and I headed upstairs and went to bed.

  What seemed like only minutes later, the phone on my nightstand rang, waking me from deep sleep. It was Mars, who quickly blurted out, “Humphrey found Martha and took her straight to the twenty-four hour veterinary clinic. We’re with her now.”

  I blinked at the clock. Just past midnight. “I’ll join you as soon as I can.”

  “There’s no use in anyone else coming, I just wanted to let you know.”

  I hung up and eased back onto my pillow. Maybe there was still hope for Martha. Comforted by that tiny bit of good news, I waited for the phone to ring again with an update. Alert in spite of my exhaustion, I didn’t think I would be able to sleep, but I soon dozed off.

  Morning dawned with the promise of summer. Unseasonably warm air drifted through the window I’d left open a crack. I stretched leisurely until I remembered the events of the night before. What had happened to Martha? Had she survived? What about the general and Joy? Alex was probably staying at the general’s house. He’d be more likely to tell me how the general was doing than the hospital.

  I slung on a light bathrobe and stumbled down the stairs behind Daisy and Mochie. I let Daisy out into the fenced backyard, put the kettle on, and scooped Nell’s Breakfast Blend coffee from Newman’s Own into my French press. I hurried back to the den, with Mochie dancing around my ankles all the way.

  A quick search of my personal records produced a home phone number for General German. It wasn’t even eight o’clock yet. Did I dare call this early? What if the hospital had released him, and he was still sleeping? The kettle screamed, and I decided to wait until nine to make calls.

  I poured the hot water into the French press, thinking how grateful I was that I didn’t have to man a booth on the final day of Cupcakes and Pupcakes. Nina had talked me into counting the ballots for best-tasting cupcake and cutest cupcake. While it seemed like that might be a rerun of the previous night, more bakeries were involved, as well as a wider range of testers, since anyone could vote. Nina and the other Cupcakes and Pupcakes planners wanted to be as inclusive as possible and give all the bakers a chance.

  Voting closed at noon. I’d thought I could pick up the ballot box on my way home from brunch. But given the
general’s illness, I suspected that my brunch with Alex was cancelled.

  I pushed on the French press, watching it shove the coffee grounds to the bottom. The aroma wafted up to me as I poured it into a mug. A spoon of sugar and a little milk—perfect. I was reaching for a loaf of rye bread I had baked when someone tapped on the kitchen door.

  Humphrey opened the door to let Daisy bound inside in front of him. “I’m sorry to come by so early. You’re not even dressed yet.”

  “Come on in.” I cinched the belt of the robe tighter. “Coffee?”

  He checked his watch. “I’d love some to wake up. I’m not used to so little sleep. Ugh, have you looked at your eye? It’s in full bloom.”

  I poured a mug for him but let him add the milk himself. “I heard you were the hero who found Martha last night.”

  “She was blocks away from the river, near Cake My Day. It was just dumb luck that I spotted her. I didn’t think she would come to me, but Renee and I were able to corner her. Have you heard anything about her condition?” He sat down on the banquette that ran behind my kitchen table.

  “Not yet.”

  “I probably should have called, but I’m about to do something awful to you, so I wanted to explain to you face-to-face.”

  Oh no. I eased into a chair across from him, dreading what he was about to say.

  “I wish to withdraw from the tabulating committee.”

  The weight of unknown fears dropped away. It could have been so much worse! “I’m sorry to hear that. Because of work?”

  “Because I wish to avoid any scenes like the one Natasha made last night at the banquet. I was mortified. Not only was it embarrassing in front of Renee, but now all of Old Town will think I’m some sort of swindler.”

  Natasha had put me in embarrassing positions more than once in my life. I understood Humphrey. But it meant we would be short a ballot counter, and there wasn’t much time to find a replacement. “I can’t say that I blame you. No one will think you’re a swindler, though. Most of those people know Natasha.”

  “All the same. I don’t want her saying things like that about me. Ever. I’m very honest. You know that. I won’t put myself in the position of being accused of bias.”

  “You know that Natasha isn’t a contestant in today’s voting. She didn’t have a booth.”

  He brightened up. “I forgot about that!” His face fell again. “But Renee is involved. If she wins, someone will accuse me of preferential treatment.”

  “So this is getting pretty serious with Renee?” I held my breath.

  His pale face flushed like a cherry. “She has no place else to live, what with her bakery being a crime scene.”

  “She’s staying with you?” I needed a lot more coffee to brace myself for that kind of news.

  “Now don’t go telling your mother, because she’ll tell my mother, and that would ruin everything.”

  “Mum’s the word, I promise. But don’t you think your mother would be happy that you’ve finally found someone you care about so much?”

  Humphrey blinked at me like he couldn’t believe I’d said something so stupid. “You know my mother. No one will ever be good enough for me. If she gets wind of it, she’ll be here in a heartbeat to mash any hope of my happiness to a pulp.”

  I wanted to be reassuring, to pooh-pooh his belief, but he was right. Mrs. Brown would chase away any woman who might be interested in a relationship with Humphrey. “Where is Renee now?”

  “Back at her booth. Detective Kenner has been really hard on her. She’s already distraught over Muffin’s murder, and Kenner had to hammer away at her like he thinks she did it!”

  I’d been through his interrogations in the past. I could understand her distress. Underneath, Kenner wasn’t such a bad guy, but he never believed anyone was innocent until it was proven. “Did he question you, too?”

  “Yes, of course. I’m not quite as delicate as Renee. She’s in such a bind, Sophie. Joy took all the money in the Sugar Baby bank account. Wiped her out! Plus, she can’t get into her own bakery to bake or sell cupcakes. She baked all last night at Cake My Day. Early in the morning, when Spenser’s employees arrived, she came to my house and caught a nap. Now she’s back at her booth selling her little heart out. It’s just lucky that Spenser has been so accommodating to her.”

  “Joy took all their money? Why would she do that? Shouldn’t they have divided it equally?”

  “One would think so. And without Muffin, Renee doesn’t have anyone to assist her. Spenser and I have been pitching in. I’m not much help, but I’m learning. Spenser is much more useful. He’s a wizard at piping frosting. Although, after last night’s disaster, she doesn’t know if she can recover her reputation.”

  “Disaster?” There’d been too many. I didn’t know which one he meant.

  “With her frosting. Half the cupcakes had frosting that tasted like paste. It was all she could do to hold back the tears until we got into my car.”

  “Didn’t she taste the frosting?”

  “Of course she did! The one she tried must have been from the good batch.”

  His phone jingled. “It’s Renee.” He pushed a button and said, “Hi, cupcake.”

  I wanted to barf. Cupcake? Seriously?

  “I’ll be right there.” He clicked off. “Something’s wrong with the cupcakes. People are bringing them back and complaining about them.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Dear Sophie,

  I saw a photograph of your cat walking on a leash. How did you train Mochie to do that?

  —Catwoman in Whiskerville, Pennsylvania

  Dear Catwoman,

  It’s best to start when they’re kittens. Most kittens will object to a harness initially, but once they associate it with going outdoors, they’ll come running when they see you bring the harness out. Don’t expect them to walk like dogs. Cats have their own ideas. Allow them to sniff and have fun at their own speed.

  —Sophie

  Humphrey rushed out the door faster than I’d ever seen him move. I watched him from the window. While I didn’t want to be like his mother and crush his happiness, I couldn’t help feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

  Over the past two days, Renee had lost just about everything. Not only had she lost her assistant in a cruel murder, but Muffin had died in Renee’s bedroom. Ugh. Would she ever be able to live in the apartment over the bakery again? I couldn’t imagine wanting to sleep in that bed or in that room anymore. And then Joy had taken all their cash and opened a rival bakery across the street. What a scummy thing to do. Couldn’t she have found a place a few blocks away? I had liked Joy. I didn’t know her very well, but taking all their joint funds was really low. Opening a store across the street that was almost identical was nothing short of despicable.

  What would I do if I had lost everything? I shuddered at the thought. Renee was to be admired for forging ahead. She had to be devastated by Muffin’s death, yet she had jumped into her work, trying to dig a way out of the financial hole in which she found herself.

  Then why did I feel like she was taking advantage of Humphrey? Maybe she was as smitten with him as Myra was. Still, something wasn’t sitting right with me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

  It sounded as though Renee thought someone had sabotaged her cupcakes. She’d frosted them at Cake My Day. Humphrey wouldn’t have tampered with the ingredients, but hadn’t he said Spencer had helped, too? Uh-oh.

  Would Spenser have stooped that low? His offer to let Renee use his bakery seemed so generous. Had he done it just so he could tamper with her cupcakes? I pondered his motives as I washed Mochie’s food bowl, looking out the window over the sink.

  Across the street, on the corner of the next block over, a commotion was taking place. The lovely mansion on that corner had belonged to Mordecai Artemus and had sat empty since his demise. A van bearing the logo of The Laughing Hound restaurant was parked in front, and people were carrying things into the house. Surely they weren�
��t catering a function. I’d have heard about it if the mansion was available as a party rental.

  I dashed up the stairs, hopped in the shower, and, wrapped in a towel, scanned my walk-in closet with brunch in mind—just in case it hadn’t been called off.

  The truth was that I had grown tired of wearing gloomy black all the time. It might be more slimming, but I wanted to feel summery, and I pawed through clothes until I landed on a berry red dress. If I wore sandals, I wouldn’t be overdressed no matter where we went. Happily, it zipped up the back without a problem. I added gold earrings and a delicate chain. So what if the necklace had been a gift from Mars when we were married? I happened to like it.

  But there was no fixing my black eye. I packed on makeup, but to no avail. I slid my feet into beaded sandals and rushed back downstairs.

  Clicking a leash onto Daisy’s collar, I opened the front door, and casually walked toward Mordecai’s house to find out what was going on.

  We crossed the street and were on the opposite sidewalk when I realized that people were unloading furniture from the van and carrying it into the house. Bernie strolled out. Perfect! It wouldn’t seem as nosy if I asked him what was up.

  We crossed to the house, and I flagged Bernie down.

  He patted Daisy. “Morning! Don’t you look lovely.”

  “Thanks! Who’s moving in?” I whispered.

  “Me.”

  I was dumbfounded. “Seriously?”

  He nodded. “The chap who owns The Laughing Hound wanted to buy it as an investment. They dropped the price, and he bit. I’m bringing my cats over this afternoon. I was tired of living in tiny quarters over Mars and Natasha’s garage anyway, and I’ve had enough of Natasha. Her rudeness last night at the banquet . . . I don’t know how Mars can stand it. That was embarrassing.”

  I held out my hand. “Welcome, neighbor.”

  He laughed, took my hand, and kissed my cheek. “Now I can watch your comings and goings! Hey, I could use some help buying furniture for the place. There are a lot of empty rooms.”

  “Shopping with someone else’s money! Sounds like fun.”