Agent Prime

by Jake Bible

  Sno made sure to hold the bottle of Klavian whiskey out ahead of him so that Crush could easily see what it was. The commander’s eyes widened slightly in surprise then narrowed with obvious suspicion.

  “You know how much trouble that blown mission caused, Agent Prime?” Crush asked once the two were alone in Crush’s office, doors securely shut and jamming tech activated so there was no snooping on the debriefing. “Care to make a guess how many GF agencies I have had to speak with over the past two days?”

  “All of them, I would suppose,” Sno said. “A team of Chassfornians tends to garner attention.”

  Crush indicated for Sno to sit. Sno took a seat in a chair directly in front of Crush’s desk, but the commander didn’t sit. He hovered on three tentacles, shaking with irritation behind his desk. Sno waited for the commander to continue. He’d been in the same situation many times.

  “Team of Chassfornians,” Crush scoffed. “If I hadn’t seen the holo vid from the docking port, I wouldn’t have believed it. What in Eight Million Gods’ names did you do to warrant a team of Chassfornians being formed to try to abduct you, Agent Prime?”

  “A question I hope to get an answer to at some point soon,” Sno said.

  “No,” Crush ordered, five tentacles straightening and pointing directly at Sno. “No and no and no. Do not stir this up more than it already is. Eight Million Gods know that I do not need more comm calls coming into my office because of you. What a complete cock-up, Agent Prime. An A-number-one cock up. Gerber is here. Did Agent Reign mention that Gerber was here?”

  Sno didn’t respond. He knew Crush well enough not to interject between every bemoaning outburst.

  “Any other agent and I’d pull you out of service for a complete and total evaluation,” Crush continued. “Any other agent…”

  Sno continued to wait.

  “Fine. Brief me. Spare no details,” Crush said and finally took his seat behind his desk. All of his eyes were fixed on Sno. “Don’t keep me in suspense, Agent Prime. Begin.”

  Sno detailed every step, action, breath from the moment he landed on Egthak to the moment he woke up in the med pod. No supposition or interpretation of events, just a simple recitation of how everything went down as Sno saw it.

  “Gor’bun was going to be a solid asset, Agent Prime,” Crush said after a few seconds of silence passed once Sno was done speaking.

  “Yes, sir, he was,” Sno agreed.

  “We’ll have to start from scratch there,” Crush said, but Sno could tell that was a rhetorical statement and not directed at him. “Lot of work to start from scratch, but worth it in the end. I will put Agent Stand on the case.”

  “Agent Stand is an excellent agent,” Sno said. “No one is better at gathering intel in the field than her.”

  “Yes, I am quite aware of that, Agent Prime,” Crush grumbled. “This is my division to run, thank you.”

  “Of course,” Sno said.

  Half of Crush’s eyes rolled.

  “Where does this leave me, sir?” Sno asked. “Is there a new mission?”

  “Should there be?” Crush asked. “You had all but two ribs nearly pulverized within you. Your left kidney was shattered and close to unrepairable by the med pod. Fractured bones in both legs and both arms.”

  “Really? I didn’t notice that,” Sno said. “The ribs took up most of my attention.”

  “Yes. You humans and your ribs,” Crush said and sighed. “It is too bad we cannot lace your bones with titanium alloy. But you’d never make it through a single scanner in the galaxy without tripping alarms and ending up in a security interrogation room.”

  Sno was also used to Crush’s constant litany of remarks regarding the fragile nature of the human body. Klavs didn’t break or bruise, they bounced, and despite being mostly made of eyes, each orb was surprisingly resilient to violence. It was known throughout the SSD, and the FIS, that Crush looked down on the beings that didn’t bounce or couldn’t take a sharp stick in the eye without crying.

  “You could wrap me in plasticrete,” Sno suggested. “Leave a couple holes for my eyes and one for me to breath.”

  “Must we leave a hole for you to breathe?” Crush muttered. “Yes, well, I believe we are done here, Agent Prime.”

  “Are we, sir? You haven’t told me my next mission,” Sno said.

  “Because you have no next mission, Agent Prime,” Crush said, each eye daring Sno to argue. “Not yet, at least. What I would like you to do is go home and take some time to think back on Egthak and what went wrong and how you could have prevented it from going wrong.”

  Sno started to speak, but Crush held up a tentacle and Sno’s mouth closed.

  “But do not give Egthak too much thought. Do not dwell on what cannot be repaired. Simply reflect on your actions and how those actions resulted in the failure of the mission.”

  “If my reflections turn up no actions that contributed to the failure?” Sno asked.

  “Do you truly believe that?”

  “I’ll let you know when I’m done reflecting,” Sno said. He raised his eyebrows and Crush nodded his body. Sno stood and dipped his chin. “Then that is that?”

  “That is that,” Crush replied.

  “No new mission? Are you sure, sir?” Sno asked. “As much as I enjoy a holiday—”

  “This will not be a holiday, Agent Prime,” Crush interjected.

  “—I believe I am better utilized out in the field. Sir, that Skrang ship is weighing heavy on me.”

  “Which is why I am sure you will ignore my orders and call your contacts as soon as you are out of range of Division headquarters,” Crush said, looking none too pleased with the idea. “But who am I to stop you? Only your Division Commander, is all.”

  “A mission would keep me from getting bored…”

  Sno let the statement hang there. Crush did not grab for it. All of the commander’s eyes glared at Sno.

  “Dismissed, Agent Prime,” Crush said when it was clear Sno had no intention of leaving before his statement was addressed.

  “Yes, sir,” Sno said and turned on his heel.

  “Agent Prime?” Crush called out as Sno reached the office doors.

  “Yes, sir?” Sno replied, turning back to face the commander.

  “That swift ship pilot,” Crush said. “Worth anything?”

  “How do you mean, sir?”

  “Is she a good enough pilot to consider recruiting?” Crush said. “We could use another good pilot for extractions. She handled yours without official training.”

  “She was an excellent pilot, sir,” Sno said. “And a pleasant person, as well.”

  “Pleasant person? Eight Million Gods, Agent Prime,” Crush said, exasperated. “I don’t care if she’s pleasant. You humans and your need to be around beings that please you. It always boils down to your slavery to your sexual organs. Klavs do not have that problem.”

  “That’s because all you need is a good, hard wink and you’re satisfied for weeks,” Sno said.

  Sno left the office quickly, knowing that comment would leave Crush irritated for hours.

  9.

  The hangar was filled with ships. More ships than most space ports saw in a month. From wall to wall, the hangar was crammed with vehicles of every size and model. The only types of ships missing were the massive ones, heavy cruiser and destroyer classes. Other than that, there were enough ships to launch a small war at any second.

  “Sno,” Master Sergeant Ho Mix said as Sno stood at the edge of the hangar, eyes scanning the inventory. “What can I do for you today?”

  Mix was a human, a bald albino with thick, wraparound, tinted glasses permanently affixed across his eyes. Sno had never seen the man without his glasses on.

  “Mix. How are we today?” Sno asked.

  “I’d be better if you’d brought your ship back,” Mix said as he stood shoulder to shoulder with Sno. “I hear there’s a holo of it being destroyed. Never show me that holo, Sno.”

  “Cruelty li
ke that is not my style, Mix,” Sno said. “It was heartbreaking to see, I will admit.”

  “I’m sure,” Mix said and waved a hand towards the inventory of ships. “Crush commed down and said to let you have your pick. He wants you out of headquarters and heading home tomorrow. Tell me which one you like and I’ll have it ready to go by the morning.”

  “Wouldn’t happen to have one just like my previous ship, would you, Mix?”

  “I might. I just might,” Mix said and motioned for Sno to follow him as he walked out onto the hangar floor. “Won’t be an exact match. That next-gen shielding takes some time to install. Bring this ship back when you’re off holiday and I can add it on then.”

  “Not going on holiday,” Sno said.

  “Right,” Mix said and continued to thread his way through the many ships.

  Some of the ships towered over the men while some barely came above their heads. Sno never could figure out Mix’s system of storing ships. It wasn’t by class or by size; not by armament or use. As far as Sno could see, the order was completely random. Except Mix always knew where every ship was placed and could walk directly to a ship without hesitation.

  And getting them in and out of the hangar was never a problem. The hangar floor was one huge moltrans unit capable of molecularly transporting each vehicle to and from the hangar in the blink of an eye. Sno had to admit there was probably no one else in the galaxy that could handle placement with the same accuracy as Mix. The man was a genius with a moltrans.

  “Here we go,” Mix said, pointing to a TL-33 Raven scoop-wing speeder. “Like I said, doesn’t have next-gen shielding, but the defenses it does have are more than enough to get you to home. Where is that again?”

  “Nab.”

  “Nab. Right. Nice place, Nab.”

  “I enjoy it.”

  “Good thing. Wouldn’t be very pleasant living there if you hated it.”

  “Weapons?”

  “Four plasma cannons like your previous Raven,” Mix said. “I might be able to boost their power by forty or fifty percent. Give you a little extra punch, if you need it. Make up for the defensive shortcomings. Will that do for you?”

  “That’ll do nicely, Mix. I appreciate it,” Sno said. “What time will the ship be ready?”

  “0800 work?”

  “0800 works,” Sno said. “I’ll have Ledora coordinate moving my personal effects aboard as soon as you give the okay.”

  “I’ll comm her in a few hours,” Mix said. “Where you off to now?”

  “Have some personal business to attend to then drinks with Agent Reign,” Sno said. “We’ll be in the observatory later if you want to join us.”

  “Kind offer, but you know how Crush gets when support personnel fraternize with the agents at headquarters,” Mix said.

  Sno nodded. No more explanation needed.

  “See you at 0800,” Sno said.

  Mix gave him a nod and was already barking orders over his comm for techs and mechanics to meet him at the Raven. Sno walked off, bringing up a holo from his wrist as he wove back through the ships.

  “At headquarters,” Sno said as he studied the holo of personnel currently stationed at headquarters. “Good.”

  Once outside the hangar, and walking towards the closest lift, Sno activated a comm signature and waited for an answer.

  “No,” a curt voice answered. “I just got a comm from Crush saying that I have been assigned as your clean-up agent. So, Denman, the answer is no. A hard no.”

  “And hello to you too, Agent Stand,” Sno said, a smile on his face and a smile in his voice.

  “Screw you, Denman.”

  “Tana. Come on, now. Don’t blame me for the shitty assignment,” Sno said as he stepped onto the lift and swiped his wrist across the interface. “At least you get to be out in the field. Did you hear? I’m being sent home to think about my actions like a four year old.”

  “Good.”

  “Tana…”

  “You’re going on holiday while I have to sort through your mess and rebuild an operation that took months to build up in the first place. Big, hard, fat, juicy no.”

  “You talk like that and expect me to stay away?”

  The lift stopped and Sno barely waited for the doors to open before he exited. He walked down the corridor with a definite purpose to his stride. When he reached the door of an apartment, he waved his wrist over the interface outside. Sno thought to himself that maybe he should have brought flowers.

  “Eight Million Gods dammit, Denman, I said no!”

  The door opened and Tana Ashool, Agent Stand, stood there in a tank top and fatigue cutoff shorts. She was a Jesperian, nearly as tall as Sno. Jesperians were a rough-and-tumble race that looked almost exactly like humans. Eye shape and body proportions tended to set them apart, but most races didn’t see much of a difference between Jesperians and humans.

  One thing that did set Tana apart from most humans, and even most Jesperians, were the ropey muscles that made up her arms and legs. She was a fanatic about staying at her physical peak at all times. Sno usually had the bruises to prove it.

  “No,” Tana said, feet planted and hands on her hips. “Go play with B’urn.”

  “We’re meeting for drinks later,” Sno said.

  Sno waited. Tana had said no and he wasn’t going to barge into her apartment without being invited. He valued keeping his limbs attached, and despite their relationship, no still meant no.

  “Wanted to see you before I leave in the morning,” Sno said. “Forced leave.”

  “Holiday,” Tana countered.

  “Not a holiday,” Sno growled. “Everyone needs to stop saying that. Forced leave.”

  Tana looked Sno up and down then let her arms fall to her sides. She moved a couple inches out of the way.

  “Since I have you here, you might as well brief me on Egthak,” she said.

  Sno nodded and squeezed past her into the apartment.

  Where Sno’s apartment was stark, Tana’s was flat-out bare. Not a single personal item, piece of art, nothing was there to show that anyone even lived there other than the faint smell of food and the hum of the atmospheric conditioner running through the walls and ceiling.

  “Cold in here,” Sno said.

  “I knew you were coming,” Tana said as the door closed.

  “But you weren’t going to let me in?”

  “You want a beer or do you want to waste my time by complaining?”

  “Whiskey.”

  “I have beer.”

  “Beer it is.”

  “I’ll get you one.”

  “You having one?”

  “Already had four,” Tana called from the kitchen. “Switching to water.”

  “No tacos?” Sno asked as he sat down on the couch.

  Tana came out of the kitchen with a glass of water in one hand, a glass of beer in the other hand, and a glare in her eyes.

  “Not all Jesperians constantly consume tacos,” Tana said. She crossed to Sno, gave him his beer, then stood in front of him, sipping her water, the glare intensifying.

  “I thought Jesperians needed tacos to stay healthy,” Sno said. He sipped his beer and raised his eyebrows. “Delicious. Yours?”

  “My brother’s batch,” Tana said.

  “How is your brother?”

  “He’s fine. And no, not all Jesperians need to consume tacos to stay healthy. Despite what the galaxy thinks, we are not addicted to the substance. It helps with our metabolism when we are stressed, but my metabolism is just fine, thank you.”

  “No doubt about that,” Sno said as he sipped his beer again and gave Tana a wink.

  She sighed and rolled her eyes then plopped down next to him on the couch, tucking her legs up under her as she lifted and pointed her chin.

  “Egthak. Talk,” she demanded.

  “Right,” Sno said, setting his beer down on the end table.

  He started from the beginning, detailed his encounter with Gor’bun, then moved through
each and every event as it had happened until he passed out in the swift ship and woke up in the med pod.

  “Who is this pilot?” Tana asked.

  “Velly Tarcorf,” Sno replied. “Crush is vetting her right now.”

  “Vetting her? Why? We have plenty of pilots,” Tana said.

  “She did save an SSD agent,” Sno said.

  “Convenient, don’t you think?”

  Sno dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “A little, yes. We’ll know more when Crush is done scouring her background.”

  “I’ll need to check her out too,” Tana said. “Too much coincidence there. Doesn’t feel right that she showed up just when you needed her.”

  “More than once.”

  “Exactly. More than once.” Tana’s eyes narrowed. “Different GF agency? Freelancer? Hired by a syndicate? Opportunist?”

  “Or a swift ship pilot that was hired by Trel’ali like she said,” Sno said. He reached for his beer, downed it, and stood up. “You said no, but I pushed anyway. That wasn’t fair. I only wanted to see you before I take off in the morning. I’ll leave you to your evening. I’m going to eat and meet B’urn in the observatory for drinks. Whiskey drinks.”

  “You’re leaving?” Tana asked. “You pull your charming shit, drink my beer, dump a bad mission on me, and you’re leaving to go eat then drinks with B’urn?”

  “You want to come for drinks? B’urn won’t mind,” Sno said.

  Tana stood up and stripped off her tank top. She started on her shorts then frowned at Sno.

  “Get naked, asshole,” she said. “Then get that naked ass into my bedroom. You’ll be skipping dinner.”

  “Will I?” Sno said, smiling wide as Tana’s shorts slid down her muscular legs. “I’m pretty hungry.”

  “Cute,” Tana said as she grabbed Sno and pulled him to her. She kissed him hard, let her hand slide down to his crotch, and cupped him. She gave a small, hard squeeze and Sno gasped. “Get. Naked. And. Into. My. Bed. Now.”