Where Women are Kings

by Christie Watson

  ‘Do you want to talk about anything? Or ask me anything? I think we’ve had enough of the story tonight, but I could sing you a song if you want – though, I must warn you, I’m not a great singer.’

  Her eyes rested on Elijah. He couldn’t remember the sound of anyone singing. Mama used to sing all the time and he couldn’t remember how it sounded in his heart. Inside him was emptiness so wide and deep: the hole that used to be filled with Mama.

  Nikki sat very still for a while and then she patted Elijah through the cover and went out of the room. ‘I’ll leave this little lamp on,’ she said, ‘and if you want us in the night, just come into our room. We don’t mind. If you have a bad dream or feel a bit lonely, just wake us up. Anything at all. OK?’ Her voice wobbled around. ‘Obi will come and say goodnight too in a minute.’

  As she walked away, Elijah could hear her humming. She turned her head back. He made sure to smile, even though he wanted to cry. He didn’t want her to worry or not get any sleep, because it wasn’t nice when you couldn’t sleep. Elijah couldn’t sleep a lot of the time and he knew how horrible that was, how slowly time could turn. On those nights, he pressed his eyes shut so tightly that he saw shapes behind them, and colours moving inside him. He felt like he was inside a boa constrictor waiting to be digested. He would have to wait a very long time until his body would be nothing, only dust.

  Obi came next. He had arms that were as wide as legs and big teeth like a shark. But he didn’t look evil at all. Elijah’s heart was chattering. But Obi bent down from his high-up place and put his face close to Elijah’s until Elijah was breathing Obi’s breath. The air between them became warm. Then Obi kissed his giant hand and touched the side of Elijah’s face where he had kissed his hand, so softly. ‘Goodnight, Elijah,’ he said, and then he was gone, too. Elijah lay very still but inside him his heart chattered on. Elijah prayed. Dear God, please tell Mama where I am. Please help me fight the wizard. Amen. Everything was strange. Even with the lamp on, the darkness was too full and the morning too far. Elijah felt wetness fall out of his body and he knew Nikki and Obi would smell it and probably send him away. Red crept from his cheeks to his neck until everything was hotter than fire. He closed his eyes tightly and dreamed of Mama. But in the dream it was night, and Mama was howling at the moon, like a wolf, and scratching her face until she was not beautiful at all, and nothing existed, not even angels, or dinosaurs.

  *

  The next morning, Elijah woke late. The sun was poking through the gap underneath the curtains and changing the colour of the room. There was a clock next to his bed that said 9:05. He listened for sounds and heard clanging and laughing coming from downstairs. For a few seconds he closed his eyes and looked for Mama but he couldn’t see her there, but smelt her instead: a mixture of burning plantain and Scotch-bonnet chillies. And he felt her combing his hair, gently tugging the knots and rubbing olive oil on his scalp, then kissing his cheek, and then he heard her: Little son, my heart beats in perfect time with your heart.

  Elijah got up slowly, breathing through his mouth. He pulled on a dressing gown over his pyjamas and tied it tightly. The wet was dry but he could smell it, even through the dressing gown. At least Ricardo would come if Elijah was sent away. He walked down the stairs slowly, holding on to the rail. There were photographs on the wall of Nikki and Obi and children and old people. And dogs. But Elijah only stopped to look again at the dogs. He reached his arm out and touched the photo, running his fingertips over each dog’s face. Some were square-shaped with big shoulders and short necks, some were scruffy with mud on their hair, and one dog had one ear sticking up and one ear sticking down so that he looked surprised. All the eyes in the photos watched him walk past them.

  ‘Here he is.’ Nikki was standing in the kitchen, holding a pan. ‘I’ve made porridge and I bought some syrup and we’ve blueberries as well. I thought we’d have porridge today then pancakes tomorrow when Daddy comes to say hello, because he absolutely loves pancakes. Obi likes his with butter, which I think is horrible, but you get to choose. Do you want porridge?’

  Elijah didn’t say anything. He knew they would be able to smell the wet. Nikki’s face was so upset and hurt. The room was really quiet for a few seconds, filled with only the bad smell. Obi pulled a chair out and Elijah sat on it. Obi’s arms looked even longer in his T-shirt. He had a newspaper in front of him and a cup of coffee. There was a plant in the middle of the table with tiny round yellow flowers on long thin branches like fingers; they all pointed at Elijah.

  Nikki knelt beside Elijah. ‘Did you have an accident, Elijah? It’s not a problem. Come with me and we’ll give you a quick wash, OK? And then later on, after breakfast, you can have a soak in the bath.’

  Elijah filled up with redness. Obi didn’t look up from his paper once, but his eyes weren’t moving between the words. They were fixed on one word the whole time. Then suddenly Obi’s eyes lifted upwards and it made Elijah’s heart speed up; his eyes were so perfectly brown, like a conker that Mama had once found for him in the park. Elijah smiled at Obi, and Obi smiled back.

  Elijah followed Nikki back upstairs, past the eyes looking at him, and let her undo his dressing gown. In the bathroom, Nikki waited while Elijah pulled his pyjama bottoms down, and she filled the sink with warm, bubbly water, dipped a sponge in it and handed it to Elijah. He washed his bottom half and she handed him a towel.

  ‘That’s better,’ she said. She felt the bottom of his pyjama top with her fingers. ‘It’s a tiny bit wet,’ she said. ‘Let’s have a quick wash of your top, too, OK?’ Then she pulled his pyjama top over his head. Suddenly she gasped. She put her hand to her mouth but then let it drop back down quickly. Elijah had seen that look before, every time someone saw the pattern on his body. His back and chest were covered with criss-crosses, faint lines in different shades of darkness, raised bumps and circular patches: dots of discoloration.

  Elijah kept his eyes straight ahead. He didn’t want to look at his patterns. He didn’t want to look at Nikki’s face, full of questions. Elijah pulled the robe back around him but the tie had fallen to the floor.

  ‘Oh, Elijah,’ she said. She held her hand towards him. ‘Who did this to you?’

  20:27 Leviticus: A man or a woman who is a medium or a necromancer shall surely be put to death. They shall be stoned with stones; their blood shall be upon them.

  Elijah could remember the exact words he’d heard over and over because they had made him learn them off by heart and say them out loud until his throat was sore. He could feel the wizard crawling round his stomach, creeping towards his throat, starting up the lasers in his eyes. If Nikki didn’t turn away, the wizard would burn Nikki and eat her up. It would zap her blind so she couldn’t stare any more.

  ‘Stop looking at me,’ he said.

  But Nikki kept looking. Her hand hovered over his chest, over his robe, and then dropped to the bottom of his legs where you couldn’t notice much but, if you looked hard, you could see the skin was patchy and different, and her eyes filled with tears because she couldn’t love a boy like Elijah. She couldn’t love a boy with a pattern. No one could. Elijah tried to press the wizard down but the wizard gripped Elijah’s arm and used it to shove Nikki’s hand away. Nikki squeaked and jumped back, holding her wrist, rubbing it, but she was still staring and the wizard was ready to pounce. Elijah wanted to warn her. He opened his mouth and words came out.

  ‘The devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.’

  Nikki’s eyes widened and her face twisted as the wizard used its powers to reach inside Nikki’s body and squeeze her intestines while Elijah just stood there, watching. She knelt down, all her breath leaving her with the pain of the wizard in her guts, and then at last she closed her eyes. She reached out and touched his arm.

  ‘I’m sorry, Elijah.’ Her voice came out all wobbly with lots of gasps. The wizard wasn’t letting her breathe. ‘I didn’t mean to stare. It was just … Oh, poor Elijah.’ She shook her h
ead and pressed a hand to her eyes.

  Elijah wrestled with the wizard. Nikki wasn’t bad. She was good and kind and only wanted to help him and it wasn’t her fault the wizard had made Elijah so no one could love him. He breathed deeply and slowly like Chioma had taught him and the wizard left Nikki. She looked straight into his eyes. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, Elijah. I was shocked, but scars can’t stop you from being perfect.’ She tried to smile. ‘You’re a good boy and you don’t deserve anything that’s happened to you. And that’s why you’re here, why Obi and I are here. We’re here to take care of you and love you.’

  And Elijah closed his eyes and concentrated everything on pushing the wizard back down, squashing it so small it couldn’t harm anyone. The wizard was still. He opened his eyes and Nikki made a face like she was trying to smile. ‘Let’s just have breakfast, OK?’

  Nikki helped him put on his dressing gown and did the belt up so softly that it fell open as they walked downstairs.

  Obi looked up from the newspaper he was reading, which was spread out on the kitchen table, but then he looked down again. Nikki helped Elijah get dressed with the clothes she’d put over the top of his chair, and then served Elijah some porridge and, when he’d finished, Obi put the paper down. ‘Are you ready?’ he asked. ‘Shall we have a game of football in the garden?’

  Elijah nodded. He liked being in the garden and being around Obi. He couldn’t stop looking at Obi’s arms and wondering if he was the strongest man in the world. He followed Obi out through the glass doors at the back of the kitchen. Nikki walked in front of them. She was breathing really quickly.

  The garden was long and thin with a stretch of grass and two lines of flowers at the outsides, bursting with roses in all colours and tiny white flowers, which climbed up the fences and twisted through the gaps at the top. Near the kitchen there was a stone area where Nikki sat on a chair next to a table with a giant umbrella over it. On the table, she had laid a tray with a jug of lemonade and three small glasses. Nargis would never have made lemonade and Sue hadn’t let him drink from a glass, but Olu let him have lemonade once from a bottle and he remembered the taste and Fola filling his glass up three times and putting his finger to his lips when Olu told them to not drink too much.

  The other end of the garden had a trampoline and swing set and a small white net with a football in it. Obi ran towards it and kicked the ball towards Elijah.

  ‘Mind my flowers!’ shouted Nikki. ‘Let Elijah kick it and you be in goal.’ Her words were normal but her voice wobbled a bit. Elijah checked but he couldn’t feel the wizard.

  Obi rolled his eyes so that Elijah could see but Nikki was probably too far away to notice. Elijah kicked the ball towards the net. The ball hit the post and bounced backwards as if it was alive. ‘Nearly!’ shouted Obi. ‘Good kick.’

  He held his hands in front of him as though he was a real goalie and moved from side to side. His body was so big that Elijah couldn’t even see the net; the net was smaller than Obi’s back but, even so, the next time he kicked it, Obi dived the wrong way and the ball flew in. ‘Wow!’ Obi stood up and ran towards Elijah, lifting him on to one of his shoulders. He ran around the garden shouting, ‘Goal! Goal!’

  Elijah smiled. When he’d finished running and shouting, he didn’t put Elijah down. Instead, he walked towards the tree behind the swing and pointed upwards. ‘Get me one, please,’ he said. ‘They’re not ripe until autumn, but I love the sour taste.’

  Elijah looked in front of him at the tree, full of tiny apples. He touched them one by one, hard and small and green. He had never picked apples from a tree before. Obi lowered him to the ground. ‘Thanks,’ he said, biting into his apple. ‘Don’t forget to check it for maggots.’

  Elijah turned his apple around and around in his hands. He smelt it – sharp – and bit into the skin. ‘Yuck,’ he said, and Obi laughed. They walked back towards the house and Nikki poured them some lemonade. ‘That was good football,’ she said. ‘Hey! You shouldn’t eat the apples yet – they’re not ripe.’ She looked at Obi. ‘Though it’s hard to wait – I love apples.’

  Elijah took a big breath and looked at Nikki right in the eyes. ‘There are some riper ones,’ he said, and he ran all the way down the garden. When he got to the tree, he jumped up as high as he could and swung his arm but he couldn’t catch one. It was too high. He turned to Nikki who was waving. ‘Don’t worry,’ she shouted. ‘You can pick me one in September, when they’re ready.’ Her arm wasn’t shaking at all. It looked strong, like the trunk of the tree.

  Elijah looked up at the big tree and saw one apple, lower than the others, that was slightly red and not as small. He crouched down and pushed on to the grass, propelling himself as high as possible, grabbing the apple.

  ‘I got one that’s ready!’ he shouted and ran back towards Nikki and Obi.

  Nikki laughed. ‘You did, Elijah. Thank you. And in September or October I’ll get you a basket and you can pick the apples for me. We could make apple pie together.’

  He sat down next to her. Instead of moving away, Nikki moved a little bit closer. He watched the light twinkling between the leaves of the apple tree. September or October, he thought.

  ‘You look like you’re concentrating,’ said Obi, looking at Elijah’s face. Obi’s hand was on top of Nikki’s.

  ‘I really like that tree,’ said Elijah.

  Nikki turned her head to look at Elijah. ‘That’s exactly what I was thinking too,’ she said.

  *

  Before bed, Elijah walked over to the window and looked across the street. He tried to figure out which patch of sky Mama would be looking at, but he couldn’t think properly. He suddenly felt a little bad about having fun with Obi, but he didn’t know why. The houses opposite were all different shapes and sizes, but all tall with chimneys. Nikki stood behind him. He could see her hand above his shoulder. It waited and waited before she put it down by her side again.

  As Elijah was about to turn, something caught his gaze. In the flats opposite, there was a window and standing in front of it was a girl. He couldn’t see her clearly but he could tell she had two plaits, one each side of her head, and white skin, and behind her on the wall of her room was a poster of a giant map. She was flashing a torch at the window, straight at them. ‘Who’s that?’

  ‘Oh, yes; that’s a new friend for you. She’s my niece, Jasmin. She lives across the street, and she’s your age – you’ll be in the same year at school. I’m sure you’ll be great friends. When you’re a bit more settled, I’ll introduce you. She’s quite a funny character.’

  Elijah looked at the girl and tried to count the flashing. Maybe she was doing a code. Maybe she needed help.

  ‘I don’t have any friends,’ whispered Elijah. ‘Except Ricardo. He’s my best friend.’

  Nikki swallowed really hard, like she had something she didn’t want to eat in her mouth, like a boiled vegetable.

  TEN

  ‘He has so many scars,’ Nikki said. ‘Obviously there’s the one on his forehead, but we knew about that one. I mean, they’re all over him. Even his legs and feet. Only tiny, but still noticeable. All over his body.’ It was really late – she’d waited until she’d heard Elijah’s slow breathing from outside his bedroom door before creeping in next to Obi and pulling him towards her – and she was half asleep. ‘Thin scars in lines across his chest and back.’ Her voice was breaking even as she spoke, and their bedroom felt too hot. She moved even closer to Obi, pressing herself against him until it bordered on painful. She needed to feel him right next to her, to know that she wasn’t alone. The first night having Elijah with them, everything had been better than she could have imagined; he was polite and kind and helpful, not the troubled child they’d been expecting but a sweet and lovely boy. It was only when she’d seen the scars that Nikki felt anxious, questioning.

  Obi kissed her cheek and pulled his arm around her back. ‘I’ve seen clients with the worst scars imaginable, and they’ve absorbed them.
Of course they’re always a reminder of trauma, but people learn to live with things.’

  Nikki shuddered.

  ‘And Elijah’s scars are not extensive. He’ll probably grow out of them. They will fade out, at least, as he gets older.’

  ‘I know they told us about the physical abuse, the way he was neglected, and I was prepared for him to be really frightened and obviously have some issues. But I just didn’t expect …’ She took a breath. ‘And he had this look in his eyes.’

  ‘He was upset.’

  ‘I know, but … what he said; it was really strange. I think it was biblical, about the devil. I wish I could remember the words. It was something like, “the devil is prowling round”.’

  ‘Maybe it’s something we should mention to Elijah’s team. But Ricardo said his mother was very religious. Lots of religious people quote the Bible when they’re scared – it’s just something he’s picked up.’

  ‘I know, I know; I’m not saying anything – it was just so strange and awful and I didn’t handle it well at all. I’ll talk to Ricardo.’

  Obi pulled away and looked at her face. ‘It’s all new to us, that’s all. You’re doing so well. We’re doing so well. Of course there will be things that we didn’t know. But he’s resilient. Maybe he got upset this morning, but look how much fun we had in the garden! A few scars on his body will be something he can deal with, and we’ll help him.’

  Nikki smiled despite herself. Obi was becoming an expert in post-adoption issues from the textbooks he’d devoured. She looked at Obi’s books on the nightstand: Parenting a Traumatised Child; Healing with Love; Resilience and Outcomes; Case Studies of Neglect.

  Obi traced her jawline with his thumb. She closed her eyes. He was right. Everything was better than they’d hoped and of course she couldn’t expect that there would be no shadows from his past. ‘And he wet the bed. I know it was the first night, but I worry about that as well. Which is irrational because a lot of seven-year-olds wet the bed.’