Maybe This Time

by Annabelle Jacobs

  “I’m not sure I want another beer.” He sounded confident, but Matt caught the flash of uncertainty in his eyes.

  “Oh?”

  Ryan shook his head and came to a stop in front of Matt, leaving about two inches between them. “No.”

  Hooking his fingers in Ryan’s belt loops seemed like the natural response, so that’s what Matt did. Then he tugged him closer, widening his stance so Ryan could fit between his legs. It made them roughly the same height, and Matt slid his hands around to Ryan’s arse, pulling their hips together. “What did you have in mind?”

  Ryan met his gaze, deep brown eyes framed by thick black lashes, and Matt’s breath caught at the intensity in them. “I thought we could make it a two-time only thing. Nothing more,” he added quickly. “I know you’re not looking for that.”

  Matt had no idea what expression he wore, but Ryan didn’t have to convince him. It felt like he’d been half hard ever since Ryan got there, and three beers were enough to dampen whatever objections he might have come up with if totally sober. “Sounds good to me.”

  PS4 forgotten, Ryan smiled at him, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Matt had a split second to think how young that made him look, and then Ryan’s mouth was on his, firm and demanding. He closed his eyes, sinking into the kiss as Ryan cupped his jaw and tilted his head to get a better angle. All his focus narrowed to the tease of Ryan’s tongue against his, the feel of Ryan’s thumbs sweeping over his cheeks, and the hardening length in his jeans pressing into Matt’s hip.

  Ryan kissed as though he could do it all night, as though there was no end game, no ultimate goal he had in mind. Usually Matt would have nudged things along, steered Ryan into his bedroom to get naked, but right then he was content to stay pressed together, exploring each other's mouths while their bodies moved in a slow, subtle grind.

  He squeezed Ryan’s arse cheeks, dipping his fingers into the crease, and earning a moan in return. On second thought, his bed seemed like a great idea.

  Pulling away for air, Ryan smiled and nodded in the direction of Matt’s bedroom. “Shall we?”

  Obviously not the only one who thought so. “Yeah.” Grabbing Ryan’s hand, Matt led him out of the kitchen and into his room, not stopping until they reached the bed. He sat down and then lay back, tugging Ryan down with him and into another kiss. God, Matt could kiss him all night long, but the persistent bulge pressing against his reminded him that there were other things he could be getting his mouth on.

  He rolled them over and urged Ryan to move up the bed a bit so he had his head on the pillows, then he sat up and straddled Ryan’s thighs. “I want to blow you. That okay?”

  Ryan swallowed, the bob of his Adam’s apple easy to see with the dim light cast by the hall. “Yeah.” It came out rough and a little needy, and Matt smiled to himself as he reached for Ryan’s belt. He felt Ryan’s gaze on him and made a point of going slowly, drawing it out through the buckle and slipping his fingers under the waistband of Ryan’s jeans before undoing the button. The soft hair of Ryan’s happy trail tickled Matt’s knuckles and he pushed his T-shirt up to get a look at the dark hair trailing down from Ryan’s belly.

  His stomach was flat, with faint traces of muscle definition. Matt leant down and gave it a lick. Ryan shuddered under him, so he did it again, tracing his tongue down as he undid the rest of the buttons on Ryan’s jeans, uncovering tight black boxers. The material pulled taut over his erection, the outline of his cock too tempting for Matt to resist. He mouthed along the length of it, sucking on the head through Ryan’s boxers, and leaving a damp spot behind.

  “Fuck.” Ryan writhed beneath him, hands fluttering near the top of his jeans like he wanted to shove them out of the way, but wasn’t sure if he should or not.

  Matt sat up. “Let’s get these off.” Ryan obliged, lifting his hips so Matt could pull his jeans and boxers down and off. “Better.” He ran his hands along Ryan’s thighs, the same dark hair covered his legs, and Matt loved the feel of it against his palms.

  “Yours too,” Ryan whispered, reaching down to pat Matt’s hip, only the tips of his fingers making contact. “Come on.”

  While Matt quickly stood to take off his jeans, Ryan whipped off his T-shirt. So Matt did the same, their clothes falling in a tangled heap at the side of the bed. He looked down at where Ryan lay stretched out on his bed, gloriously naked, and licked his lips, palming his erection at the same time.

  Ryan groaned, collapsing back onto the pillows with his gaze flicking between Matt’s groin and mouth.

  It spurred Matt into action.

  He climbed onto the bed again, pushing Ryan’s legs up and apart so he could settle between them. Dipping his head, he licked a stripe up the length of Ryan’s cock, wrapping his hand around the base and holding him steady as he slowly sucked him into his mouth. Ryan’s softly muttered, “Oh fuck,” made Matt want to take him apart. He drew him all the way in, gagging slightly as he hit the back of his throat, then slowly let him back out.

  He did it again and again, using his tongue to tease underneath Ryan’s foreskin and pressing his thumb along his perineum. Ryan’s soft moans filled the room, and he gripped the bottom sheet with one hand, the material crinkling up as he made a fist. His other tangled in Matt’s hair, loosely holding on, until Matt trailed his thumb back to Ryan’s hole, rubbing it back and forth.

  “Gonna come.” Ryan gasped out, tightened his grip, and tugged at Matt’s hair as his body stilled. Matt pulled off in time to watch Ryan’s dick pulse in his hand and spill in thick spurts over Ryan’s belly. He stroked him through it until Ryan batted his hand out of the way.

  “Too much.”

  Matt sat up on his haunches, painfully hard and desperate to come. He wrapped his hand, sticky with jizz, around his cock and started to stroke himself. With Ryan’s taste on his tongue, and Ryan still lying boneless underneath him, it wasn’t going to take long.

  “Come ’ere.” Ryan made a feeble attempt at beckoning him with his fingers, but Matt didn’t need much encouragement.

  Straddling Ryan’s chest, he shuffled closer until the head of his cock brushed Ryan’s mouth. Watching himself slide between Ryan’s parted lips made Matt’s balls draw up, and he nudged inside enough for Ryan to suck him while he kept working his hand up and down.

  “Mmmm.” Ryan glanced up at him, and Matt was done for.

  He pulled back as his orgasm rushed through him, striping Ryan’s chin and neck.

  After catching his breath, Matt admired the sight of a come-covered Ryan a few seconds longer, then reached over to the bedside table and snagged the box of tissues sitting there. Pulling out a handful, he handed them to Ryan, then climbed off him and collapsed onto his back. Wetness smeared his inner thighs where he’d rubbed against Ryan’s belly, and Matt wiped at them half-heartedly. The week had been long, and he was suddenly knackered.

  Ryan looked equally exhausted, as though he could close his eyes and fall asleep right there in Matt’s bed. Last weekend was meant to be a one-off. He hadn’t minded Ryan staying over when he didn’t think it would happen again. But this time felt different. If he asked Ryan to spend the night again, would that seem too familiar? Too cosy? Matt didn’t want to lead him on, but he wasn’t an arsehole either, and that exact moment wasn’t the time to kick Ryan out of bed and remind him that this was casual. If he didn’t ask him to stay, hopefully Ryan would take the hint.

  Hot sex aside, Matt had enjoyed himself. Ryan was good company—funny and intelligent and not shy about taking the piss out of Matt when he got too competitive. Matt didn’t have a large circle of friends, preferring to stick to a few close ones rather than a large group of people he kind of knew. From what he’d seen so far, Ryan would probably fit in well. But they’d started out with sex, so how would that play out?

  Do I even want it to?

  They lay in silence for a few minutes, not uncomfortable per se, but with a definite air of uncertainty building between them. Matt was resigned to the fact
he’d have to say something, when Ryan sat up on his elbows and glanced over at him.

  His smile seemed kind of wistful, though it was hard to tell in the dim light. “I guess I’d better be going. Got to be up early-ish in the morning.” He yawned, his jaw cracking loudly. “And I’m also knackered.”

  “Me too.” Relief swept through Matt at not having to kick him out, and he sat up, searched through the clothes on the floor until he found his boxers, and pulled them on. Ryan did the same, then followed it with the rest of his clothing. Matt stood and walked around the bed to stand in front of him, one hand running through his hair. It probably stuck up all over the place. He caught Ryan watching, lip pulled between his teeth. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Looked like you were about to ask something.”

  Ryan grinned. “Fine. I was remembering how I thought you were older when I first saw you.” He made a vague gesture at Matt’s head. “You know, from a distance with the hair and everything, you look like a—”

  “Do not say silver fox. I’m at least ten years too young to be called that.”

  Ryan held up his hands. “Wasn’t going to.” His laughter said otherwise.

  Matt sighed. “It started going grey when I was eighteen.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t be arsed to keep dying it, and I actually like the colour it ended up.” Despite his protests to the contrary, his hair was more of a light silvery-grey. But he wasn’t even forty yet; that particular label could wait a few years.

  “Suits you.” Ryan met his gaze for a second, then smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Right. I’m going to head off.” He turned and walked out of the bedroom into the hall. Matt followed.

  After slipping his shoes on and grabbing his jacket, Ryan paused. He glanced up, expression uncertain, and Matt stepped towards him, having been in this situation many times before.

  And once with Ryan, already.

  Cupping Ryan’s jaw, he kissed him—longer than a quick peck but not with the promise of more either. "Thanks for tonight.”

  Ryan grinned. “My pleasure.”

  “Yeah, mine too.” Matt smiled back as he stepped away. “Night, Ryan.”

  “Night.”

  He left and Matt closed the door as Ryan reached the stairwell. It seemed odd knowing that he was only going down to the floor below. Weird in a way that Matt couldn’t decide was good, bad, or whatever.

  Chapter Nine

  Ryan picked his mum up just after ten on Saturday morning. “So, B&Q or Homebase?” He waited for her to fasten her seatbelt before driving off, but she sat there with it in her hand, staring at him. “What?”

  “I thought we were going to the garden centre?”

  Ryan frowned. “We are?”

  His mum tutted and shook her head. “B&Q is not a garden centre. There’s at least three nice ones along the Westerleigh Road.” She finally clicked her seatbelt in and settled back. “Can we please go to one of those, if it’s not too much trouble?”

  Truthfully, he’d avoided mentioning them, as he’d thought it’d be too painful for her to go there without his dad but hadn’t wanted to ask her outright. Clearly he should’ve done. As usual, she saw right through him.

  “Ryan.”

  “Yes?”

  “I know it was tough going for a few months at the start, and I struggled with a lot of things after your dad died, but I don’t want you worrying about what you can and can’t say to me.”

  He sighed, hands flexing on the steering wheel. “You and Dad used to go to garden centres together all the time. I didn’t want to remind you, or….” Or what? He never knew the right thing to say.

  To his surprise, she barked out a laugh. “Ryan, sweetheart. Your dad and I were married for thirty-seven years. Nearly everything I do on a daily basis reminds me of him.” She reached over and patted his hand, squeezing it for a second before letting go. When she spoke again, some of the amusement was gone from her voice, but she sounded more fond than sad. “I don’t want to forget him. Yes, it’s hard sometimes, doing things alone that we used to do together, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop doing them.”

  “Okay.” He glanced over at her as they stopped at traffic lights. “And you’re not alone. You’ve got me and Rob.”

  She smiled wide. “Yes, I have. And I’m so very grateful for you both.”

  When they pulled into the garden centre car park, Ryan turned off the engine. He turned to face his mum and found her looking out the window, a wry smile in place. “What?”

  “I was just thinking. Your dad hated coming here with me, moaned constantly at how long I took to choose ‘a few bloody plants.’” She did a pretty good impression of him, and Ryan smiled. “I’m sure wherever he is, he finds it highly amusing that I’ve now dragged you along instead.”

  Ryan glanced out through the windscreen at the tops of the two greenhouses he could see over the hedge. “Doesn’t look that big. How long does it take to choose plants?”

  His mum laughed, patted his leg, and got out of the car without answering. Seriously though, her garden wasn’t that big. They’d be in and out in no time. Wouldn’t they?

  Ryan made it home at exactly 2.05pm.

  Almost an hour and a half they’d spent looking at plants—well, plants and bird feeders and many, many garden ornaments. An hour and a bloody half! Who knew the place extended that far back? Not that he begrudged spending time with his mum, but he could only muster so much enthusiasm for hanging baskets, bedding plants, and ceramic hedgehogs. At least she’d fed him when they’d finally got back to her house. He patted his belly, now full of sausage-and-egg sandwiches, and rested his head back against the sofa cushions.

  His mind wandered back to last night. And Matt.

  I must remember to thank Josh for bailing on me.

  A flare of heat stirred in his belly as he remembered Matt’s mouth around him. He hadn’t expected to end up in Matt’s bed again, let alone less than a week later. The fact he hadn’t been invited to stay last night wasn’t entirely unexpected. Neither of them was drunk enough to pass out after, and it hadn’t been that late either.

  And it was just sex.

  As he sat there debating whether to do some laundry, play on the PS4, or have a nap, his phone buzzed with a text from Josh.

  Sorry about last night.

  Np. Matt filled in for you ;) Ryan stared at his phone, thumb hovering over the send arrow. It wouldn’t take long for Josh to figure out what had happened, and he’d no doubt have opinions. Matt wasn’t sure he wanted to hear them. Fuck it. He clicked Send and watched as the dots appeared, indicating Josh was typing.

  It seemed to take forever for his message to come through. Ryan had given up waiting and was sat with his head back, eyes closed, when his phone buzzed again.

  Thought it was a one-off?

  Me too.

  You seeing him again?

  Ryan sighed. Doubt it.

  The reply to that wasn’t immediate, and Ryan wondered what Josh was thinking. He’d expected another lecture, maybe, or at least a word of caution, but when the reply did come, it said. Up for a curry and beer tonight? Already asked L&D, they’re in.

  Okay then. Yeah count me in. Where and when?

  8pm at The Horseshoe.

  He could walk from his flat at a push, as long as it didn’t decide to suddenly piss it down. Ok. See you later

  Evening sorted, he picked up the PS4 controller and settled in to kill a few hours until he needed to get ready, trying not to think about the flat one floor up.

  Waking up Sunday morning should have been far more pleasant that it turned out. Ryan had no work to go to, so why was he awake so fucking early? And with a headache too.

  Lovely.

  I didn’t even have all that much to drink!

  Ryan squinted at the bright sunlight sneaking through the middle of his curtains. The inch gap seemed to let in enough light to illuminate the whole room and ruin any chance of a lie in. Awesome.

&nb
sp; A quick check of his phone confirmed his suspicions—seven forty-five. Why? And to top it off, his bedroom didn’t smell too fragrant either. He couldn’t even lie there and doze because he kept getting a whiff of last night’s curry and alcohol.

  Repeatedly.

  Sitting up, Ryan glanced down at the pile of clothes on the floor. His favourite pair of jeans sat in a jumbled heap where he’d kicked them off last night. They’d been a little on the tight side when he’d pulled them on, and by the end of the night, he’d been dying to get the things off. He’d always been slim, lucky enough not to put on weight no matter what he ate, but as he ran a hand over his bare belly, he discovered although it was still flat-ish, it definitely wasn’t as flat as it had been.

  Is this what happens when you hit thirty? Or have I been particularly lazy of late?

  Swimming was more his thing when it came to exercise, but he’d dabbled in a bit of running over the years. He walked over to the window and glanced out. The cycle path ran straight out of the estate and skirted the remaining farmers’ fields, he could even spot part of it from where he stood. It’d be easy enough to get on it and get a bit of exercise in. The sky was a beautiful clear blue, with the odd wispy cloud floating about. Now he was up and awake, Ryan had the urge to get outside while it was still cool and relatively quiet. Who else would be up at this time on a Sunday if they could help it?

  He had to dig his running shoes out of one of the boxes that still sat unpacked in the spare room, but shorts and a T-shirt were easy enough to find. Once outside, he did a quick check to make sure Matt was nowhere to be seen. The last thing Ryan wanted was to bump into him on his first attempt at running in months. After a few stretches to warm up his muscles, Ryan checked the route on his phone, then tucked it into the strap on his arm and put his headphones in.

  He’d planned out a short-ish run, nothing too taxing for this first time out. A steady 5k should be easy enough, right?