Maybe This Time

by Annabelle Jacobs

  “You don’t have to do that, you know.” Matt went to grab the sponge out of Ryan’s hands, but Ryan was quicker.

  “It’s only fair since you cooked.” The two-inch difference in height gave Matt a small advantage, but Ryan managed to avoid his attempts to get the sponge. Matt backed him against the sink, laughing as Ryan stood on his tiptoes, flailing his arms around to keep it out of Matt’s reach. “Let me wash up, for fuck’s sake.”

  “You’re a guest.”

  “Bollocks.” He’d had Matt’s cock in his mouth. Surely they were past the guest stage and he could wash a few pots. “Just let me—ahh, you fucker!” He jolted as Matt tickled him high on his ribs, fingers digging in relentlessly. “That’s… stop… cheating.”

  Matt grinned, triumphant as he plucked the sponge from Ryan’s hand, and much to Ryan’s relief, stopped his attack. Their struggle had left Ryan slumped in front of the sink, breathing heavily, and Matt pressed up against him. With each inhale, Ryan brushed Matt’s groin and the unmistakable hardness of his erection. His own cock, at a slightly uncomfortable angle, pushed into the top of Matt’s thigh. Two layers of cotton and denim did nothing to lessen the effect.

  Fuck.

  Slowly, Ryan dragged his gaze up to meet Matt’s—half-excited, half-afraid of what he might find there, and not at all sure what he wanted to see.

  Matt stared back at him, eyes full of the heat Ryan remembered from their previous encounters. His mouth hung open a little, and Ryan watched, transfixed as Matt flicked out his tongue and licked over his bottom lip. He remembered how talented he was with that tongue too. Even with the obvious question running through his head, words failed him, and Ryan stood there, mute. He swallowed, hoping that would loosen something inside and allow him to break the sudden spell they were under.

  Matt beat him to it. “I know I said we shouldn’t do this again. But I really fucking want to.”

  Ryan nodded quickly, afraid there was another but coming. “Me too.” His gaze darted between Matt’s eyes and his lips, all while he leant that little bit closer until their mouths almost touched. Each breath Matt took ghosted across Ryan’s lips, and he ached with the need to kiss him.

  “But—”

  No.

  Ryan kissed him, stealing the rest of that sentence. He’d felt it coming a mile away, and this was not a moment that needed a but interrupting it. Any second he expected Matt to push him back and finish what he was about to say, but instead strong arms wrapped around his back, pinning him in place, and Matt returned the kiss.

  Yes.

  Sliding his hands into Matt’s hair, Ryan held on, pushing into him, and grinding against his thigh for all he was worth. Matt’s small, broken moan sent a shiver down his spine, heat unfurling in his belly and spreading out until his whole body thrummed with it. He made it last as long as he could, knowing that as soon as they broke apart, Matt would say what he needed to.

  When they eventually had to stop for air, both of them breathing heavily, Ryan let his head drop forward to rest on Matt’s shoulder and waited. Only a few seconds passed before Matt’s weighted sigh tickled the side of his neck.

  “I don’t do relationships. Not the long-term, committed type, at least.”

  Ryan wanted to roll his eyes at how presumptuous that was. What was so wrong with seeing how things might go? Why the need to label what this was or wasn’t before they even got started? He didn’t say that, though. “What makes you think I want that?”

  He felt Matt smile against his skin. “Sorry. I shouldn’t assume. I only wanted to make it clear what I’m offering.”

  Ryan’s heart stuttered, traitorous. “And what’s that? Friends with benefits?”

  Matt’s grin widened, and he kissed the base of Ryan’s throat, nipping ever so gently, then kissing him again. It stole his concentration enough that when Matt spoke, it startled him. “Yes.” Another kiss, followed by another and another as Matt worked his way along Ryan’s collarbone, stretching the collar of his T-shirt. “Is that something you might be interested in?”

  In answer, Ryan rolled his hips, moaning at the pressure on his cock. He needed out of his jeans or at least to undo the damn zip. Apparently that wasn’t a good enough answer for Matt though, and he pulled back, lifting Ryan’s head up with a finger under his chin. “Is it? I like you, Ryan. I think we could mess around a little and remain friends after, as long as we’re honest with each other.” His gazed bored into Ryan’s, sincerity clear for Ryan to see, as well as the heat directed at him.

  “I—” Ryan stared back. Friends with benefits wasn’t something he had a good track record with, but he’d learnt his lesson. There were no illusions that this would develop into something more. Despite his dislike of Matt limiting the possibilities for them, Ryan couldn’t deny that the sex between them was good. And he liked Matt too. He could do this. “Yeah. I want that.”

  Pulling Matt towards him again, Ryan kissed him, not waiting for a reply. Matt relaxed, his whole body seeming to melt against Ryan’s, so they touched everywhere, the press of his erection a tease through all their clothes. Ryan reached down, shoving his hand into his boxers to rearrange himself.

  God that’s better.

  Before Ryan had a chance to suggest they move this to the bedroom, Matt dropped to his knees and reached for the button on Ryan’s jeans.

  “Fuck.” Ryan looked down at him and swallowed thickly, unable to stop himself from pushing into Matt’s hands a little.

  Matt grinned. He rubbed his palm up and down the length of Ryan’s cock, stopping to trace his thumb over the head.

  Humming his appreciation, Ryan closed his eyes and kept them closed as Matt undid his jeans and eased them and his boxers down his thighs. Matt’s hand around his cock made his breath catch, and when he gave in and looked down, Matt licked the bead of precome from the tip—as though he’d been waiting for Ryan to watch.

  Now that he’d opened his eyes, Ryan couldn’t tear his gaze away. He followed every stroke of Matt’s tongue, every slide of his hand as he stroked Ryan’s cock, pleasure building inside him. When Matt winked, then took all of him in his mouth, Ryan gripped the edge of the sink and held on. Wet warmth enveloped him, the tight heat dragging him towards the edge as Matt sank down and then back up, again and again.

  “Shit. I’m gonna come.” Somehow Ryan’s hands had found their way into Matt’s hair. He didn't remember moving them, but he gratefully clung on as his orgasm rushed through him.

  Matt swallowed it all, eventually sitting back on his heels and meeting Ryan’s gaze. He wiped the corner of his mouth, a slow smile creeping over his face. “We should probably have talked before I did that.”

  It took a second for Ryan to register what he meant, still basking in the afterglow. “Oh,” he said as it dawned on him. “I’m good.” He waved a hand in front of himself. “I get regularly tested.”

  “Good. Me too.” Matt smiled up at Ryan, and Ryan held out a hand to help him up.

  When he stood, the bulge in his jeans caught and held Ryan’s attention. “Here, let me just….” He reached for Matt, and Matt obligingly shuffled forward.

  When Ryan got his jeans undone and a hand in his underwear, Matt gasped. “Won’t take much.”

  Ryan smiled, wrapped his fingers around Matt’s cock, and kissed him.

  Matt moaned into the kiss, his hands on Ryan’s biceps holding tight as Ryan stroked him. True to his word, Matt came about thirty seconds later, breaking the kiss to rest his head on Ryan’s shoulder. Ryan worked him through it, not letting go until Matt flinched, too sensitive.

  Straightening up, he glanced down between them. And laughed softly. “Sorry.”

  Confused, Ryan followed his gaze and groaned when he saw the state of his T-shirt. “I should’ve aimed better.”

  “You can borrow one of mine.” Matt sorted out his jeans and boxers and stepped back. “Come on.”

  Ryan hurried to do the same and followed him. “Out of curiosity,” he said, as
they entered the bedroom, “why aren’t you interested in anything long term?” At Matt’s frown, he quickly held up his hands. “Hey, I’m not changing my mind, and feel free to tell me it’s none of my business. I was just wondering, that’s all.”

  For a second he thought Matt would choose the latter, but then his frown evened out and he shrugged. “It’s never been something I’ve wanted.”

  Ryan eyed him, expecting a little more, but Matt turned and started rifling through his wardrobe instead. Oh. What sort of an answer is that? He’d felt for sure there was some epic tale of an ex breaking his heart or something. But no. Maybe he'd come back to it another time. Surely there was more to it than “I’ve never wanted to.”

  “Here, try this.”

  Ryan caught the T-shirt Matt threw at him and set it on the bed before whipping his dirty one off and scrunching it into a ball. Matt’s was a little snug on him, especially around the shoulders, but he only had to walk downstairs. “Right, I better get going.” If he remembered correctly, although some of his memories from yesterday were a little fuzzy, he’d agreed at some point to meet Josh in the pub for lunch.

  Matt nodded. “Okay. Still on for Wednesday night?”

  “Um…?” Had he missed something? They’d only decided on this friends-with-benefits thing about twenty minutes ago.

  “Running.” Matt kept a straight face, but his eyes were full of laughter.

  Ryan blushed. “Oh, yeah.” He tugged at the hem of the T-shirt, trying to smooth out the edges while he waited for his face to cool down. “Six thirty?”

  “Yep. Sounds good.”

  Ryan followed him to the front door and slipped his shoes on. He turned and found Matt closer than he was expecting. For a second he thought Matt might lean in and kiss him goodbye, but he just offered him a smile. “See you Wednesday.”

  “Have a good weekend.”

  “You too.”

  Ryan grinned to himself all the way down the stairs, feeling much better than he had when he’d woken up that morning. A run might not totally cure a hangover, but breakfast and a blowjob seemed to do the trick. He was still smiling to himself when he reached his door, coming to a halt when he found Josh standing in front of it.

  He turned at Ryan’s footsteps, smiling. “Oh hey, I was just about to call you.” The smile widened as his gaze slid down Ryan’s body and back up again. “Inane grin, and by the looks of it, someone else’s T-shirt. Did you pull last night?” Josh’s smile fell suddenly. “Oh, please God, tell me it wasn’t that wanker, Dominic.”

  Ryan grimaced. “Fuck no, it wasn’t him. And it wasn’t last night.”

  Josh’s gaze flicked from Ryan to his T-shirt, then to the stairwell door behind him. It apparently registered where Ryan had come from. “Ry—”

  “Don’t start.” Ryan held up his hand, gesturing for Josh to keep quiet. “I know what I’m doing.”

  Sighing, Josh leant against the wall. “Are the two of you together now, or…?”

  Like ripping off a plaster. “We’re still just friends. But ones who have sex occasionally too. He’s not looking for something more, and neither am I.” He’d tried not to think about it before, but as he said the words, they didn’t sound all that bad. Maybe he really was okay with it this time.

  Josh looked anything but convinced. “You said that about Neal, remember?”

  “I know. And I was stupid to think he’d change his mind. I’m not going to make that mistake again.”

  “You sure?”

  Smiling with as much confidence as he could muster, Ryan pulled his keys out and went to open his door. “Yes. Positive.”

  Friends with benefits—he could totally do that. And it wasn’t as though they’d have sex every time they saw each other. He wouldn’t get attached this time.

  Chapter Twelve

  Another Friday night came around and Matt arrived at the pub, yawning and wondering where the week had gone. Apart from meeting Ryan on Wednesday for a run—and a quick hand job afterward—Matt hadn’t seen anyone other than work colleagues all week. Sam was a welcome sight sat at their usual table, two pints in front of him, ready.

  They were a little later than usual, as Sam had to cover the shop this week, and so Matt had stayed at work for an extra couple of hours. It made the day seem endless, and he was beginning to feel it now.

  “Hey.” He plopped down on the stool opposite Sam and reached for his pint. “Thanks.” The cool liquid perked him up a little, and he sighed. “Good week?”

  “Can’t complain.” Sam’s gaze dropped to Matt’s neck, drawn by something there. When his eyes widened slightly, Matt knew he’d noticed the mark Ryan had left on him after their run.

  Having Ryan suck on his neck while giving him a wank had been great at the time but a bitch to try and hide at work the following two days. He’d taken his tie off when leaving the office earlier and undone his top button, forgetting about what that would reveal.

  Sam pointed towards his neck. “I suspect your week has been a whole lot better than mine, though. Who was it? Spill.” He motioned with his hands for Matt to talk and took another drink, his gaze back on Matt’s face.

  Trying for nonchalance, Matt glanced down at his glass and said, “Ryan.”

  Sam’s eyebrows rose, his surprise evident. “Again? I was under the impression that was a strictly friends thing?”

  Sighing, Matt set his elbows on the table. He wasn’t sure how to explain it to Sam because he still didn’t know what had made him suggest it to Ryan in the first place. “I like him. And he’s hot. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

  “When did that happen?”

  “Last Saturday.”

  “The day after you specifically told me nothing was going on?”

  Matt squirmed in his seat, not keen on Sam’s tone. “Yes.”

  “And now? Have you seen him again?”

  Matt looked up, meeting Sam’s intent gaze. “We went running on Wednesday night.” Sam continued to stare at him, waiting. “And yes, we messed around a little afterwards.” He gestured to his neck. “As you can see.” They’d both been knackered, but lazy hand jobs on the sofa didn’t take all that much effort.

  Sam’s expression wasn’t one Matt was used to seeing. He looked pained, as though he was about to do something he didn’t want to. He opened his mouth, and Matt braced himself for whatever he had to say. “I know you’re not stupid.”

  Matt snorted. “Thanks. I think.”

  “So when I tell you that what you described is the start of a relationship, I assume it’s not a shock to you.”

  “I’m aware of how it sounds.” Matt took a drink of his pint, getting his next words straight in his head. “And of course it’s a relationship, but not one that has any longevity. We’re both agreed it’s only for right now. There are no expectations for more.” He wasn’t stupid, but saying all that out loud made him wonder. Either that or he sounded just plain cold-hearted. Which Matt hadn't thought he was either, but—

  “Matt, you’re my best friend, and I love you….” Sam was already shaking his head.

  “But?”

  Sam smirked. “But I think you’re full of shit.” Giving Matt no opportunity to object, he added, “I think you’ve spent so long telling anyone who’ll listen that you aren’t interested in a long-term relationship, that it’s just habit now.”

  “I—”

  “I mean why do you have to immediately put limitations on it? Would it be so hard to let this thing with Ryan play out, see where it goes?”

  For the first time in ages, Matt bit back his immediate knee-jerk reaction and took his time to consider the question. The thought of entering into something long-term immediately made him want to back-pedal.

  But why is that, exactly?

  “Matt.” Sam laid a hand on his arm. “Can you remember when we were at uni, and your mum and your aunties always used to tease you?” Matt nodded. They’d been merciless. “Then Liz got married and they were all, �
��Oh, you’ll be next Matthew.’ And every time you’d go home, someone would ask you when you were going to bring a girl back with you—and then a guy, obviously—but that’s when you started with your whole no-commitment thing.”

  “Because I didn’t want to get married and have kids, like Liz with her perfect bloody husband.” God, he’d been an absolute wanker to her those first few years. “Yet everyone assumed I did. They kept going on and on about how I’d change my mind in a few years. It just pissed me off after a while.”

  Sam squeezed his arm in support. “Yeah, I remember. You used to rant about it all the time.”

  Over several pints usually, if Matt remembered correctly. “That was years ago, though. Why are you bringing it up now?”

  “Because we were young and selfish, and you weren’t the only one who found the idea of settling down totally unappealing. But things change; people change. Are you honestly not interested in seeing if you and Ryan could be good together? Or are you too stubborn to admit that you might have changed your mind about relationships.”

  Matt’s shoulders were stiff with tension and unease. The possibility that Sam’s words had some truth to them wasn’t something he was keen to examine closely. Instead he said, “We are good together. In bed.”

  Sam rolled his eyes. “For fuck’s sake. You know what I mean.” He kicked half-heartedly at Matt’s ankles under the table. “I’m trying to have a serious chat. Don’t be a wanker.”

  “Sorry.” Matt covered his face with his hands for a moment and struggled to let all of Sam’s words sink in. Am I stubborn? The answer caused a huff of laughter to escape. Of course he fucking was, but still…. “God, can you imagine all the ‘I told you so’s’?” The thought alone made him cringe. Everyone would be unbearable.

  “Seriously?” Sam stared at him, incredulous. “Is that what you’re worried about? What everyone will say if, God forbid, you decide you want a long-term partner?” He was looking at Matt like he had two heads.