Meet Me at Willow Hall

by Carla Burgess

  ‘They just think it would be too much effort to rearrange.’ I smoothed my trembling hands over the flat sheets of wrapping paper on the counter and drew in a deep, calming breath.

  Anthony frowned. ‘But they’d get a really good deal.’

  ‘I know they would. Elena knows that too. But it’s only four months until their wedding and the invitations have gone out already.’

  ‘So what? It’s just a venue change. No big deal.’

  ‘Well, they obviously think it is.’

  ‘Can’t you convince them otherwise?’

  ‘Me? It’s nothing to do with me. I’m just the bridesmaid. Besides, you saw for yourself how much she loved Willow Hall. If she can’t convince Daniel, no one can.’

  ‘Will he not come to the hall for a look himself?’

  ‘I don’t know. You’ll have to ask Daniel, not me. I can give you his number if you like?’

  ‘Yes, please.’ Anthony nodded and then turned to gaze around at the shop as I nipped into the back room for my mobile phone. My heart was beating in my throat and I felt short of breath as I opened my contacts to find Daniel’s number. I scrolled past his name three times before finally focusing enough to remember who I was searching for. My head was spinning so much I felt dizzy. I couldn’t believe Anthony was here in the shop when I’d been telling myself I’d never see him again. ‘Do you want me to give you my number and you can just send it through to me?’ Anthony called.

  ‘Erm, it’s okay. I’ll just write it down.’

  ‘It’d probably be easier. No chance of mistakes.’ His voice got louder suddenly and he appeared in the archway to the back room. Producing his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, he proceeded to read out his phone number. Flustered, I fumbled with my phone and managed to input his number. I could only hope he didn’t notice how shaky I was. ‘There, you can forward the contact to me now.’

  ‘Okay.’ It was a straightforward task, but my mind went blank as I gazed at my phone, trying to work out how to forward the number to him. The only thing in my head was the fact I now had Anthony’s number in my phone, and how was I going to stop myself from calling him in the middle of the night? The business card Julian had given me was sitting on my kitchen windowsill at home, proudly propped up against an orchid. I’d been proud of myself for not inputting it into my phone straight away, but now Anthony had scuppered that.

  ‘It hasn’t changed in here, has it?’ Anthony said, looking around him.

  ‘No, nothing’s changed,’ I said, a slightly bitter edge to my voice.

  ‘It’s like stepping back in time.’ He smiled and I felt a little glow of happiness. I was glad he had good memories of this place, even if he had ultimately dumped me. ‘Who’s living upstairs now?’

  ‘Erm, a family.’ I glanced up at him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about when we lived together in the apartment above the shop. Everything was broken and wrong now. It made me feel sad to think about it. ‘My parents no longer own the flat. They sold it last year.’

  ‘Oh, really? That’s a shame.’

  ‘Hmm… it was getting too much for them. Dad decided he didn’t want the stress of dealing with tenants.’

  ‘Were we such bad tenants?’ he joked. A wide smile spread across his face and his eyes sparkled mischievously. I wondered what he was playing at, coming here and joking about our relationship when it was still so painful to me. But then, I suppose he didn’t know that. Most normal women would have moved on and been over him by now.

  ‘The worst,’ I replied. At last my brain slotted into gear and I managed to send Daniel’s number to Anthony. His phone gave a beep and he glanced down at it in his hand.

  ‘You’re still on the same number?’ He seemed surprised.

  I shrugged. ‘There was no reason to change it. I still have the same phone.’

  There was an awkward pause and he hovered in the archway between the shop and the back room as though he was about to leave. I was caught in a kind of panicky limbo where I couldn’t tell if I wanted him to go so I could calm my nerves and have a good cry, or stay so I could be with him for longer.

  He seemed undecided himself for a moment, but then he leaned back against the wall, seemingly in no hurry to leave. ‘Where’s Bobbi?’

  ‘On her lunch.’ It was on the tip of my tongue to mention she was out with her boyfriend, until I remembered I was supposed to be engaged to Jayjay myself. Bobbi had been hugely amused when I’d told her what had happened at Willow Hall and hadn’t seemed to mind me hijacking her boyfriend’s name.

  ‘Is she well?’

  ‘She’s good, thank you. Her mum’s a lot better and back at work so Bobbi’s not shouldering all of the responsibility any more.’ Bobbi was only nineteen and had had a tough time last year, struggling to support her family on her wages after her mother fell ill. Anthony had been particularly kind and supportive towards her.

  ‘That’s good to hear.’

  ‘Yep.’

  Another pause.

  ‘And how are your parents?’

  ‘They’re fine, thank you. Dad’s slowing down a bit, which is why he sold the apartment. He’s seventy this year.’

  ‘Really?’

  I nodded. My goodness, this was painful. Without the subject of Willow Hall or Elena’s wedding, we were just trying to make small talk, with neither of us mentioning his accident or the fact that he’d dumped me and banned me from the hospital. What I really wanted to ask was why? What had I done that was so wrong? Why had he pushed me away at such a crucial time? I’d been so upset by him being injured. I’d been desperate to know how he was, and yet he’d shut me out. Cath had kept me updated for a while, but I felt guilty phoning her when she had so much to deal with herself.

  ‘What about the shop? He’s not selling that I take it?’

  ‘Oh, err…’ I had to wrench my head back from reliving the moment I’d shown up at the hospital only to be told he didn’t want to see me. ‘No, well, not right now, anyway.’

  ‘But they might in the future?’

  I swallowed. ‘Perhaps.’

  His brow furrowed and he gave me a searching look. ‘So what will that mean for you?’

  ‘I don’t know right now. We haven’t really talked about it.’

  ‘But surely as their only daughter you stand to inherit this place?’

  ‘Yes, but it… it depends if it’s profitable.’ I sighed. I really didn’t want to be discussing this with Anthony of all people. Besides, this was business I’d been putting off thinking about for months now. There had been a vague suggestion around the time they’d sold the flat that they might look into selling the shop if it didn’t make a profit this year, but we were doing pretty well so I wasn’t too worried. ‘And I think it is profitable, so it will be all right.’

  ‘Are you still doing wedding flowers?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Would you like for us to put you forward as one of our recommended florists? You could come and exhibit at our next open day.’

  ‘Oh! Really?’ I frowned slightly, confused by the offer. ‘Aren’t I a bit too far away?’

  Anthony shrugged. ‘It’s only an hour’s drive.’

  ‘I suppose.’ I frowned, confused about why he would want to promote his ex-girlfriend’s business when he hadn’t seen me in so long. I opened my mouth to say something gracious, then changed my mind and decided to say what was actually on my mind instead. ‘But that would mean you’d see me more often, Anthony. And forgive me for bringing it up when we’re going to such pains to avoid it, but you actually banned me from your hospital room because you didn’t want to see me again.’

  I didn’t know what kind of reaction I’d expected from him, but the slight shrug of his shoulders took me by surprise. Was he really so oblivious to how much he’d hurt me?

  ‘This is business,’ he said. ‘We’re trying to get Willow Hall known as a great wedding venue, and you’re an experienced wedding florist with lots of contacts. I thi
nk we could be very useful to each other.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yes, of course. Why not? The past is the past. You’ve moved on, haven’t you? You’ve got this… Jojo…?’

  ‘Jayjay.’

  ‘Right, that’s what I said. Anyway, we’re both adults, aren’t we? I don’t see why we can’t work together. Besides, you probably wouldn’t be seeing a lot of me anyway. I’m planning on taking a backseat in all of this. Weddings aren’t my favourite thing, as you well know.’ He grimaced and straightened up slightly. ‘How are your wedding plans, anyway?’

  ‘Errr…’ I shook my head. ‘Nothing yet.’

  ‘No ring, I see.’ He nodded at my empty left hand.

  ‘Not yet.’

  Unable to stop myself, I shoved my hands in the pockets of my cardigan. I was rubbish at lying and convinced Anthony would see straight through me. He was a detective, after all, and trained in reading people’s body language.

  The bell above the shop door jingled and I heard Bobbi’s laugh ring out as she entered the shop. Did that mean she was with Jayjay? Oh no, this just got worse.

  ‘Anthony!’ I heard her say in surprise. ‘Oh, my God! I can’t believe it.’ She appeared in the archway and threw her arms around him. ‘It’s so lovely to see you! Isn’t it lovely, Rachel?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, far more cheerfully than I felt.

  Bobbi widened her eyes meaningfully at me. ‘Ooh, guess who I found walking back from lunch? Jayjay.’

  ‘Oh, is he here?’ I said.

  ‘Yes. Jayjay, your fiancée’s in the back.’

  ‘Huh?’ I heard him say, confused.

  ‘Rachel’s through here, in the back.’ Bobbi was talking to Jayjay like he was a reluctant toddler. ‘Come through. Come on.’

  My heart thudded with dread and I had to fight hard not to cringe as Jayjay appeared through the archway, pausing to shake Anthony’s hand as Bobbi introduced them to each other. To my relief, Jayjay looked fairly tidy today and a bit older than his twenty-two years, so we didn’t look quite as mismatched as I feared. As I was twenty-six, I didn’t want to look like some kind of cradle snatcher, especially when Anthony was ten years older than me.

  ‘All right, love?’ he said, smiling cheekily at me.

  ‘Hi,’ I replied cheerfully. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Fine, thanks.’

  There was an awkward pause during which Jayjay, Bobbi and I all stared at each other with frozen smiles.

  ‘Well, I’d better go,’ Anthony said. ‘Lovely to see you again, Bobbi. Nice to meet you, Jojo.’ And then he was gone. The door slammed shut behind him and Bobbi and I looked at each other.

  ‘Oh, my God! Are you all right?’ Bobbi asked as she peeled off her denim jacket.

  I nodded mutely and sat down on the wooden chair next to me. ‘Bit of a shock.’

  ‘I bet it was.’

  Jayjay looked confused. ‘Not being funny, but what was all that fiancé stuff about?’

  ‘Elena told Anthony that Rachel was engaged to someone called Jayjay, so you’ve got to pretend to be her fiancé every time Anthony’s around.’

  ‘Oh.’ A frown appeared on his face and he ran a hand through his dark hair. ‘Why?’

  I opened my mouth to respond, then shut it again. I wasn’t sure why either. Luckily, Bobbi seemed to understand everything perfectly.

  ‘Because Rachel’s still in love with Anthony but she doesn’t want him to know that so she’s pretending to have moved on.’

  ‘Hey!’ I protested.

  ‘Oh.’ Jayjay’s face cleared and he laughed. ‘So I’m like a stunt double?’

  ‘Erm… if you like.’ Bobbi laughed and rolled her eyes at me.

  ‘Cool.’ Jayjay laughed. ‘Right, I’d better get going.’ He leaned over to kiss Bobbi. ‘I’ll pick you up later, okay?’

  ‘Okay. Bye.’ Bobbi watched him go, her face slightly flushed and her eyes bright. I smiled at her.

  ‘Thank you for that. I never thought we’d ever actually have to pretend.’

  Bobbi laughed. ‘I think it’s funny. I can’t believe Anthony was here. What did he want? Just to see you?’

  ‘No, he wanted Daniel and Elena’s number so he could call and pester them about the wedding.’

  ‘Really? Like a pushy salesman?’

  ‘Pretty much.’

  Bobbi winced. ‘Still, it was nice to see him again. He looked well.’

  ‘Hmm, he did.’ I gnawed at a fingernail and stared at the rough brick of the wall opposite. Now Anthony had gone, I missed him desperately.

  ‘Anyway,’ Bobbi continued, ‘do you want to go for your lunch now I’m back? You look like you need a break.’

  ‘Do I look that bad?’ I laughed as I stood up and reached for my coat.

  ‘Not bad. Just a bit shell-shocked, that’s all. It must be difficult seeing him again after the way he finished with you. I must say, you’ve been very restrained about it all. I think I would have punched him in the nuts.’

  I laughed, picturing the scene. ‘Tempting, but not very dignified.’

  ‘But ultimately very satisfying. See you later.’

  I went out on to the street and turned right to go down to the river. The busy city centre with its tourists, shoppers and office workers rushing to get their lunch held no appeal for me today. My nerves were too frayed and the only thing I needed was some fresh air and space to think. The blustery wind had goose bumps racing across my flesh and my skirt billowing around my legs. It was a lot colder than it had been last week at Willow Hall.

  But as I was walking, it occurred to me Anthony might still be around somewhere, getting a bite to eat in a café or simply looking around the shops. I stopped suddenly as an overwhelming urge to find him took hold. The woman walking behind tutted loudly and cast an irritated look over her shoulder as she scooted around me.

  ‘Sorry,’ I muttered, before forcing myself to carry on towards the river. What was I thinking? I’d been almost relieved when he left the shop just now. The conversation had been so awkward and stilted, and so much remained unsaid between us, that it had been almost painful. And yet, I still had some kind of masochistic urge to see and speak to him again. It wouldn’t do. I needed to get some control over my emotions. Anthony wasn’t interested in me. He’d only come to the shop to find out about Elena’s wedding. He didn’t even care that I was engaged – or, rather, pretending to be engaged. All he cared about was drumming up business for Willow Hall.

  I couldn’t blame him. It was he who had finished it, after all, and that was more than a year ago. Any normal person would be able to move on with their life, and he obviously had. It was only me clinging to the past, trying to hold on to something that had long since died. I couldn’t even understand why I was still so attached to him. I’d had plenty of boyfriends in the past who had meant nothing to me. They’d come and gone from my life and I’d given them barely a second thought. Okay, so he was the only man I’d ever lived with, but that was only because my house had been flooded by a burst boiler so he’d offered to let me stay. It wasn’t like we’d bought a house together, chosen furniture, shared dreams. We hadn’t even been together that long. Just four months. Maybe that was why I couldn’t get over him. It had all felt so new and exciting, and then he’d had the accident and shut me out when I was agonised with worry.

  The river was only at the bottom of the street. Cars trundled past and, spotting a break in the traffic as the lights turned red, I nipped across the road. A stiff breeze was stripping pink blossom from the trees and blowing it up the street, where it nestled in pavement cracks and gathered in gutters. Spring was a time of new life and fresh starts, but I always felt sorry for the blossom that ended its short life soiled and damaged on the ground.

  The riverfront was surprisingly busy for a weekday. I paused by the weir to watch a cormorant fish in the rushing water, its thin black neck emerging triumphant from the white foam, clutching its wriggling silver prize in its beak. Although the s
un was shining, the fresh breeze carried flecks of rain, and I shivered as one splattered inside my ear. Pulling my coat around me, I left the roar of the weir and rumble of traffic from the bridge behind me and headed down to the riverfront. I’d intended to sit on one of the benches but they were all taken, so I walked slowly along the front instead, enjoying the fresh air and smell of the water. The trees were all in blossom and pink petals fluttered to the floor with each gust of wind. One of the big white show boats was docked next to the wooden jetty, waiting to take people on a sightseeing cruise upstream. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I watched a young couple take a seat together on the top deck, remembering when Anthony and I had done the same thing in happier times. We’d been more interested in kissing than watching the view slide past, but it had been a lovely day, warm for March. I remembered the sun sparkling on the water in the same way I’d seen a thousand times before, but because I was with Anthony it seemed magical somehow.

  The couple on the top deck were kissing now, oblivious to me watching below. With a silent wish that their relationship would last longer than mine and Anthony’s, I walked on towards the bandstand.

  Further on, a toddler girl and her grandfather were throwing bread for a family of swans while seagulls wheeled above, their shrill cries slicing the air. The girl looked so adorable in her bright-red coat and red wellingtons that I couldn’t help but smile. Her dark hair was tied up in stubby pigtails and she kept shouting at the gulls and waving her little arms around while her grandfather knelt beside her, laughing. I looked around to see if anyone else was watching them and my heart lurched as I spotted Anthony sitting on a bench a few rows back.

  He hadn’t seen me yet. He was hunched over with his elbows on his knees, staring at the space between his feet. I hesitated, suddenly terrified and unsure whether to pretend not to have seen him and walk on. After all, he’d just been introduced to my pretend fiancé. I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him right now, especially if he was going to ask me questions about Jayjay.

  But there was something about his posture that made me carry on staring. He looked sad, somehow. Dejected. Why did he look like that? What was happening in his life?