Meet Me at Willow Hall

by Carla Burgess

  ‘Come and look at this,’ Liz said, beckoning me and Elena over. Lifting the corner on a dustsheet covering something big and bulky in the corner of the kitchen, Liz revealed a pale-blue Aga.

  ‘Oh, my goodness! You are so lucky!’ Elena enthused. ‘I really wanted a range oven but we don’t have the room.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted one,’ Liz said. ‘Though I doubt I’ll be able to make food as nice as Cath’s. Everything she cooks in that Aga of hers is delicious.’

  ‘When’s the rest of the kitchen getting fitted?’ Anthony asked. He was holding Charlie now, and the little boy had his head laid sleepily on Anthony’s shoulder, his thumb in his mouth. They looked so much alike that I could imagine this would be how Anthony’s own son would look. It made my heart hurt looking at them together.

  It was dark by the time we’d looked around upstairs and seen the beautiful views out of the bedroom windows. Julian locked the door behind us and we walked back along the road, past Anthony’s cottage rather than cutting through the woodland next to the lake. Daniel and Elena walked hand in hand, chatting happily, and Anthony dropped back to talk to me.

  ‘You’re good with children,’ I told him, looking at the sleeping child in his arms.

  He smiled. ‘Yeah, they’re good kids.’

  ‘Is that what you looked like when you were young?’

  ‘Mum says so. I can see Liz in him too, though.’ He shifted Charlie’s weight slightly so he could take my hand. ‘Are you all right? You’ve been very quiet this past hour or so. Was the bridesmaid dress okay?’

  ‘Yes, it’s lovely.’

  ‘So what’s wrong then?’

  ‘Nothing. I suppose I’m just a bit tired, that’s all. These early mornings are killing me.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  I laughed. ‘Don’t be. I just need an early night, that’s all.’

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ he laughed.

  ‘Not like that!’

  The bats were fluttering around between the trees and Grace and Julian stopped to look at them. Somewhere in the wood, an owl hooted.

  ‘This place is amazing!’ Daniel kept saying. ‘All these trees…’

  When Elena and Daniel had been waved off after dinner, Anthony and I walked back to the gatehouse. I kept trying to work up the courage to ask about his heart, but I didn’t want to get Liz into trouble. The best way to do it would be to say I found the tablets and ask what they were for.

  ‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ Anthony asked as he opened the door to the cottage.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, pushing past him to go into the kitchen. ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’

  He looked surprised as he shut the door and drew the bolt across. ‘I thought you wanted an early night?’

  ‘I’m thirsty.’ I glanced back over my shoulder and found him watching me through narrowed eyes. ‘Do you want one or not?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Okay.’ I eyed the cupboard where I’d first seen the tablets, but I had a feeling he’d moved them since.

  ‘Rachel, what’s wrong?’

  I leaned my hands on the kitchen worktop and sighed. ‘I could ask you the same question.’

  ‘What does that mean?’ He straightened up, looking defensive. ‘Has someone said something?’

  I cleared my throat. ‘I found your tablets.’

  He frowned. ‘I hid them.’

  ‘Oh, did you now? That’s reassuring. What else are you hiding from me?’

  ‘Rachel! I’m not hiding anything bad. Well, not really…’ He heaved a sigh as he walked into the kitchen. ‘Where did you find them?’

  ‘In there.’ I pointed to the cupboard where I’d first found them. ‘The first morning I stayed. It’s taken me this long to work out they were for your heart.’

  He hung his head before pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table. ‘It doesn’t affect anything, does it? You still want to be with me?’

  ‘Of course I do! I’m just upset you didn’t tell me about something so important.’ I sat down opposite him and took his hands. ‘What’s wrong? It’s obviously something that can be controlled with drugs so you’ll be okay, won’t you?’

  He shrugged. ‘I have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. When I was in hospital, they discovered I had an irregular heartbeat so they did a scan and found the muscle in my heart had enlarged and thickened. It’s hereditary, apparently. My mother thinks our father probably had it. I thought he’d died in a car crash, but it was a heart attack that actually killed him. He was only my age at the time.’ He raised his eyebrows and smiled sadly. ‘Makes me think I was lucky to survive my crash.’

  I exhaled loudly and put my head in my hands, my whole body tingling with nervous energy. ‘But they’ve caught it in time? You’re okay on the tablets?’

  ‘For now. There might come a time when I need an implant, but for now I’m okay.’ He reached out and stroked my hair. ‘I told you I was broken.’

  ‘Don’t you dare say that!’ I said fiercely. ‘You are not broken. You are not!’

  He reached for my hand again and squeezed it. ‘It’s taken me a while to come to terms with it,’ he said. ‘I suppose I’m still not completely okay with it, or else I would have told you. It doesn’t seem fair really. Not when I kept myself pretty fit and healthy and I never smoked or did drugs.’

  ‘So what happens now? Is it degenerative?’

  He nodded. ‘I think so. No one knows how it will go, though. I could be fine for years, or it could worsen. My doctor monitors me pretty closely.’

  I nodded, trying to absorb this new information. Could he die from this? I didn’t want to ask when I was so scared of the answer.

  ‘I’m sorry, Rachel. I know this is hard to hear, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I just didn’t want to burst our happy bubble.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I guess it’s well and truly popped now.’

  ‘What do you mean? It’s not like I’m going anywhere.’

  ‘Aren’t you? I’d understand if you did.’

  ‘Don’t be stupid. I love you. That doesn’t change because you’ve got a problem with your heart. We’ll face this together.’

  His cheeks flushed and he looked down at the table. Reaching out, I brushed a tear from his cheek with my fingertips. ‘What did you think? That I’d leave you?’

  He shrugged. ‘It affects everything, don’t you see?’

  I frowned at him. ‘I’m never leaving you, Anthony. We’ve spent too long apart already and this has no effect on how I feel about you at all. The only thing I want is to be with you.’ Covering his face with his hands, he started to cry more. ‘Come here.’ I slipped from my chair and knelt beside him, cradling his head in my arms. ‘Please don’t cry. There’s no need. I’m here. I’ll always be here.’ I kissed his hair, his ears, his hands covering his face, desperate to convince him of my love. Eventually, he removed his hands from his face and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back.

  Chapter Eleven

  The sky was grey when I awoke the next morning. I went to the window and watched five crows in the field opposite mob a buzzard, trying to get it away from their nests. I watched their black shapes wheel about in the sky as they cawed and croaked their alarm. Yawning, I looked back to where Anthony lay, still fast asleep among the soft mounds of the duvet. He wasn’t in work today, and I hadn’t wanted him to wake up alone after last night, so I’d phoned my mum and asked her to cover for me.

  I went downstairs to make coffee. The cottage was so quiet that the roar of the boiling kettle was deafening. I found my phone in my bag and searched for hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I soon wished I hadn’t when it listed its complications as heart failure, irregular heartbeat and sudden cardiac death.

  Sudden cardiac death?

  Taking my coffee, I went into the lounge and curled up on the sofa to read more. I found a website that included lots of case studies of different patients. It seemed everyone had walked a different path and had a different story to tell, bu
t I noticed many of them had lived for years with the condition. It reassured me that Anthony and I would have a future together so long as he was closely monitored and continued with his medication.

  It was still shocking, though, to discover that someone who appeared so outwardly strong and healthy had something so serious going on inside them.

  Anthony woke up about nine. He stopped on the stairs when he saw me. ‘What are you doing here still? I thought you were at work today?’

  ‘I was but I called my mum to ask her to open up for me.’ I yawned and stretched. ‘Is it all right if I stay with you today?’

  ‘All right?’ His face lit up. ‘It’s more than all right.’ He came down the rest of the stairs and kissed me. ‘What time did you wake up?’

  ‘About six. Do you want me to make you a coffee?’

  ‘I’ll get it. You stay there.’

  He disappeared into the kitchen and I could hear him clanking about and filling the kettle. I’d finished reading about his condition on the Internet and was now using his laptop to work on the new website for the shop. ‘Thanks,’ I said when he placed a drink down next to me on the coffee table. ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Fine. I’ve taken my morning tablet if that’s what you’re getting at.’

  I smiled and leaned over to kiss him. ‘It wasn’t, but it’s good to know. I’ve just been reading up about your condition, actually. I was reading something about an implantable cardiac defibrillator.’

  ‘Oh, that.’

  ‘What do you mean “oh, that”?’ I asked suspiciously. ‘Have you been offered one and turned it down?’

  He sighed. ‘Not really. It’s something to consider in the future, though.’

  ‘Well, I’ve been reading some people’s journeys and some of them have had their lives saved by them.’

  ‘Yeah. I know. But I’ve been fine, touch wood.’

  I gasped. ‘There’s no touch wood about it! If the doctor’s offered one to you, then he must think it will help you.’

  ‘It’s one course of treatment,’ Anthony said calmly. ‘My doctor’s monitoring me and we’ll see how we go.’

  ‘Do you feel your heart racing?’

  ‘Only when I’m with you.’ He put his coffee down and moved closer.

  ‘Don’t change the subject.’ I laughed and tried to move away but he caught me and held me tight.

  ‘I feel fine! Honestly.’ Anthony kissed my neck. ‘I’m not dead yet.’

  ‘Let’s keep it that way, shall we?’

  With a growl, he pushed me down on to the sofa, dropping kisses on my cheeks and mouth while I giggled breathlessly. I could feel him growing hard against me and his playful kisses grew more intense and serious. He tugged at my pyjama shorts, and I arched my back to help him ease them down over my thighs. Entering me slowly, he stared down into my eyes and I gasped as he started moving in and out. I’d never felt closer to him than I did at that moment. He continued to stare deep into my eyes and I felt something shift inside of me, overwhelming me with emotion. Tears slid sideways from my eyes and Anthony smoothed back my hair and kissed me. ‘It’s okay,’ he whispered softly. ‘I love you. It’s okay.’ His words were soothing, but they made me even more emotional and more tears fell from my eyes. Anthony looked uncertain. ‘Do you want me to stop?’ I shook my head, wrapping my legs around his hips to keep him inside me. He closed his eyes briefly, and when he opened them they burned with a fire and desire that touched me deep inside. I never wanted this moment to end.

  ***

  We spent the rest of the day lounging around the cottage. I felt guilty I hadn’t done as much work as I should have on the website. I knew I had to put the graft in if I wanted the business to succeed, but somehow spending time with Anthony seemed more important than ever. It wasn’t because I thought he was about to die or anything, but because he’d opened up to me at last and I knew that, deep down, he was vulnerable and needed me.

  The grey clouds lifted in the afternoon, revealing the bright sunshine. We went for a walk along the lake and I decided I wanted to take the rowing boat out. Anthony wanted to row, but I insisted and we floundered around on the still water for a while, until I finally got the hang of it and rowed us to the opposite shore.

  ‘There you go!’ I said, triumphant. I was knackered now and slightly dismayed that I was going to have to row back. Anthony had adopted a kind of Edwardian-gentleman stance and was now reclining in a leisurely manner with his eyes closed. I watched him fondly and he opened one eye.

  ‘What are you looking at, Jones?’

  I grinned. ‘You, Bascombe.’

  ‘Get rowing,’ he laughed, trailing his fingers in the water and flicking it at me.

  ‘Hey!’

  ‘Hold on.’ He sat up and stared up at the road. ‘Is that your mum and Bobbi?’

  I turned round to see Mum’s car pulling up next to the Brew House.

  ‘Oh, she’s brought Bobbi!’ I cheered, starting to row back to the opposite side of the lake.

  ‘Do you want me to row now?’ Anthony looked slightly anxious, as though he thought they might think less of him for making me do all the work.

  ‘No, I’m doing fine, thanks.’

  We jumped out and tied the boat back up at the jetty.

  ‘Hello!’ I called to them. ‘How lovely to see you!’

  ‘We were quiet so I thought I’d close up early and bring Bobbi to have a look.’ She rubbed her hands on her beige trousers and looked at Bobbi. ‘Isn’t it lovely?’

  ‘Yes.’ Bobbi looked around her in amazement. ‘I can’t believe you live here, Anthony. What are you doing talking to the likes of us? I bet you think we’re peasants. What are you? Some kind of duke?’

  ‘Not at all. And I certainly don’t think of you as peasants. My family aren’t like that. None of us is.’

  I smiled. ‘It’s true. His mother’s lovely and bakes the most fabulous cakes. Here, let me show you inside.’ Pulling the keys from my back pocket, I opened the door and gave Bobbi the guided tour, telling her where I planned for everything to go.

  ‘I can’t believe we’ll be working somewhere so beautiful!’ She walked slowly around, examining every corner. ‘It feels like a dream.’

  ‘Wait until you see the garden,’ I told her.

  As predicted, she completely loved all the varieties of roses.

  ‘Wow, that’s amazing!’ she said. ‘I can’t believe there are so many.’

  ‘I know. He’s a marvel. I don’t know how he does it all.’

  ‘He spends his whole life in here, that’s why,’ Anthony said, looking round. ‘I’m surprised he’s not in here now, actually. He must be having his afternoon cup of tea. Shall we go in and see if my mother will make us one too? I bet she’s got cake.’

  ‘She’s always got cake,’ I laughed.

  Cath and Arthur were drinking tea outside on the patio. They looked up as we approached, shielding their eyes from the sun.

  ‘Hello, do you mind if we join you?’ Anthony called.

  ‘Of course not, welcome, welcome,’ Cath said, rising to her feet. She kissed my mum in greeting and shook Bobbi’s hand. ‘Lovely to meet you,’ she said warmly.

  Bobbi smiled and tucked her pink hair behind her ears self-consciously. She sat quietly while we talked about Arthur’s garden and Elena’s wedding.

  ‘I just don’t know how I’m going to get here,’ she said suddenly. ‘I mean, I love it and everything, and I’d love to be part of it, but I really don’t think I’m going to be able to.’

  ‘I’ve already told you not to worry about that, Bobbi,’ I said gently. ‘We’ll sort it out between us as we go along.’

  ‘Perhaps you could stay here for a few days at a time, rather than travelling back and forth,’ Arthur suggested. ‘It’s not like we don’t have enough room.’ He jerked his head back at the house. ‘You’d be more than welcome. Everyone always is with Cath about.’

  Bobbi smiled shyly and rubbed her nose. ‘Tha
t’s really kind and everything but…’

  ‘But?’ I prompted when she didn’t say anything else.

  I watched her take a deep breath, like she was gathering herself for some big announcement. I braced myself. ‘I’m pregnant.’

  There was a shocked silence in which we all stared at her as if waiting for the punchline. Arthur had gone beetroot red and Anthony just looked horrified. Bobbi scuffed her black Converse against the grass and sighed. ‘Sorry.’

  I was still too stunned to speak. Bobbi pregnant? But she couldn’t be! She’d been ill, hadn’t she? She’d had food poisoning!

  It was Mum who spoke first. ‘I told you! Didn’t I say? See, I’m always right. It was morning sickness all along, you poor thing. How long have you known?’

  ‘Only a couple of weeks. I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you but I didn’t know how.’

  ‘That’s okay, Bobbi. Have you told Jayjay?’

  She nodded. ‘He’s been really supportive, actually. He’s not the problem, though, is he? My problem is that you’re moving here and I’m losing my job.’

  ‘You’re not losing your job, Bobbi,’ Mum protested. ‘We want you to stay with us. Rachel needs you to help her with the business. We haven’t worked it all out yet, but I’m sure we can find a solution to this. If you really don’t want to, that’s your choice. But if you stay, then we’ll look after you and you’ll get maternity leave and maternity pay.’

  Bobbi looked up, startled. ‘Really?’

  ‘Of course,’ I agreed. ‘And like Mum says, I’m not sure how it’s going to work out here at the moment. The hours will be different to the shop and actually they might suit you better. And you’d be welcome to bring the baby to work with you.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Of course you could. I’d be completely flexible to suit you.’

  Bobbi’s brow furrowed. ‘I still don’t know how I’m going to get here, though.’

  ‘Well, if I couldn’t give you a lift, perhaps you could get the train and someone could collect you from the station. We’re looking for solutions, not problems, Bobbi, and I really don’t want to lose you.’