The Gorgon Bride

by Galen Sulak-Ramsey

  “No,” Alex said, shaking his head.

  Aphrodite placed a finger on his lips and drew him in with her eyes once more. “Fret not, sweet Alex,” she purred. “Come to me, if the need arises, and I shall see that the both of you are eternally happy. Understood?”

  “Understood,” he repeated.

  Aphrodite closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his cheek. Alex’s mind went to mush, and a few moments later she pulled back, running her fingers through his hair. “Promise you won’t forget?”

  “I promise,” Alex mindlessly repeated.

  “Good.” she replied. She then threw The Old Man a wink. “I’ll see you boys inside.”

  As she left, Phorcys smacked Alex in the back of the head.

  “What the hell was that for?” asked Alex after he stumbled.

  “For looking at her as you should Euryale,” The Old Man explained. “Even if Aphrodite is irresistible, don’t ever do it again.”

  “Oh Alex,” Aphrodite said, stopping a half step before disappearing inside. “There’s something I forgot to tell you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I brought you a guest,” she said.

  Alex turned, and his heart skipped at least two beats. Coming down the garden path was Jessica with her hair in a bun and life radiating from her eyes. Her hands clung to her camera while a Tiffany Blue cocktail dress clung to her body. Alex wanted to say something, anything, but she tied his tongue the very same she had on the first day of the school year, when he’d gotten assigned to sit next to the new girl.

  Chapter Twelve

  Alex?” Jessica said as she hurried to him, her high heels clacking on the stone path. “Is that really you?”

  All Alex managed was a feeble nod since he was still brained by the imp called Stupidity. Thankfully, it only took a moment for him to find his voice. “What are you doing here?”

  Jessica wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. “It’s so good to see you again! I got back from this disaster of a trip and—” Jessica leaned back. The joy in her face disappeared, and her shoulders slouched. “I’m dreaming, right? I mean I must be. You’re dead, and I didn’t meet Aphrodite.”

  “I’m not quite dead, yet,” Alex said with a half grin.

  “No, you are,” she said. “Your death was all over the news—mystery of the century people are calling it. I passed out at my computer, and this is my subconscious working out things I always felt were left unfinished with you. I’ll wake up in a second.”

  “I tried that. You won’t.”

  Jessica pinched her arm. “Huh. That didn’t work either.”

  “Tried that, too.”

  Slowly, Jessica looked over his shoulder and her face lit up. “I’m not dreaming. I’m actually in Olympus.”

  “Yep.”

  “The Old Man!” she exclaimed, dashing by Alex. She circled the monstrous god with wonder, her hands moving back and forth like a little girl who’s dying to touch something she’s not sure if she’s allowed to. “I can’t believe it. The gods. The myths. They’re all real!”

  The Old Man extended a claw and nodded approvingly. “Go on. Behold the Primeval God of the Sea.”

  Jessica grasped the massive pincer with her left hand, and when that wasn’t enough, she laid her head against its hard shell. “This is so cool. He exudes power across every inch. I can feel it tingle in my skull.”

  The Old Man laughed. “See, Alex? I told you not all mortals scamper away in fear.”

  “Her liver is still intact, too,” Alex said. “All things considered, I’d say I handled that little incident as well as any other.”

  Jessica disengaged and ran back to Alex. She snatched his hands and bounced on the balls of her feet. “This is incredible! Do you know how much of the cosmos you can see with Hermes? Or how fast you can go from bleh to gorgeous with Aphrodite doing the styling?”

  Alex could guess at the foremost, but didn’t need a single hint for the latter. Jessica looked nothing short of divine herself. “You look lovely as always.”

  “You should’ve seen how much of a mess I was earlier,” she said, fumbling with her camera. After a few twists of a dial and a couple pushes of buttons, she herded Alex next to Phorcys. “Stay right there.”

  “What are you doing?”

  “Taking your picture,” she said, scooting back a few paces and bringing her Nikon up.

  “Because?”

  “Because I’m Aphrodite’s personal photographer for the festivities!” she said with the most excited eep Alex had ever heard. “She said I have to follow you around for everything and I’d get whatever I wanted—not that I’d actually have to be paid for this. God, I can’t wait to get back and publish all these photos! I’m going to be the girl who documented the return of the Olympians!”

  Alex’s list of questions shot up a hundred fold, but instead of having the opportunity to get answers to any of them, he was manhandled for the next fifteen minutes by Jessica as she took shot after shot of him and Phorcys in the garden, in deep thought, and even in mock combat. Alex had thought The Old Man wouldn’t have liked such a thing, but to Alex’s surprise, the god enjoyed the photoshoot, and per Jessica, was remarkably photogenic as well.

  “How much more time do we have?” she asked after snapping yet another burst.

  Phorcys glanced at the sun and sighed. “None. Come, we must hurry, lest we suffer Zeus’s wrath for being late.”

  The Old Man escorted them both to the banquet hall. Inside was a massive

  table, easily a hundred yards long, and at it sat countless deities and demigods. Most were shouting at one another, some being playful and others antagonistic. Dozens of women, scantily clad in fawn skins and topped with crowns of vine, danced about. In one hand they carried staves tipped with pinecones, and in the other, pitchers filled with wine that constantly poured out for the wedding guests.

  Of all the attendees, Alex only recognized Aphrodite and Athena, each sitting far from one another and occasionally exchanging glares as they chatted with fellow gods. To Alex’s dismay, Euryale was nowhere to be seen, and a longing for her settled in his heart. At least he had Jessica to keep him company.

  Upon being prompted by Phorcys, Alex and Jessica took their seats, at which point The Old Man settled into his spot on Alex’s left. On the other side of The Old Man was the head of the table, and there sat that largest god of them all upon a chair of ivory and gold. His bright skin shone like bronze, and his white hair flowed like a tempest behind him. Thunderous laughter bellowed from his mouth, and miniature bolts of lightning shot from his hands as he clapped them together. There could be no doubt that this was Zeus, ruler of the Olympians.

  “The mighty Alex,” Zeus said, hoisting a goblet in his direction. “I can’t recall the last time mortals were in our hall, let alone being wed into the family.”

  “Thank you. It’s all very exciting, your majesty,” Alex said, unsure how he should address or respond to the ruler of Olympus.

  “Majesty? Ha! Such funny words,” Zeus said before downing his wine with one large gulp. The god leaned over the table, resting his bulk on his enormous forearms, and spoke softly. “Let me ask you something. As you are about to be a married man, who do you say should run the house?”

  “I suppose it would be whoever is most capable.”

  Much to Alex’s relief, Zeus didn’t argue the reply. “Would you agree then, Alex, that whoever is in charge doesn’t need to justify every action taken? Need a parent explain all things to a child, for example?”

  “I suppose a parent would not,” Alex replied after some thought. “It would be annoying and unproductive to literally justify everything.”

  Zeus leaned back with a smile before turning to the goddess on his left. “Hera, my incessant harrier, even this mortal knows where your place is.”

  The goddess, with fair skin and sharp features, turned from the conversation she was havi
ng with one of her servants. Large, cow-like eyes narrowed at Zeus’s words and then cast their gaze upon Alex. “You dare suggest that a husband be unfaithful?” she said. “Perhaps you should make such beliefs known to your bride. Or her father.”

  Phorcys leaned over to Alex and whispered in his ear. “Furl your sails, mortal, and proceed at your own peril. Hera has rightfully suspected Zeus of sleeping with young maidens again.”

  “Thanks for the warning,” Alex replied. He turned his attention toward Hera and Zeus and chose his words carefully. “I think such matters are best handled by the parties involved. Seeing how I’m not privy to all the details and my wisdom is nowhere near divine, I couldn’t make a fair judgment.”

  Jessica prodded Alex with a gentle elbow to the ribs. “Nice save.”

  Both Zeus and Hera relaxed in their chairs, and an air of smugness settled about the pair. Phorcys laughed and took a swig of wine. “For one as headstrong as you, Alex, you’re a fast learner. It seems like only days ago you were insulting Athena, and now you’re playing politics with none other than Zeus and Hera.”

  “It was only a few days ago,” Alex pointed out. “That aside, where’s Euryale?”

  “You won’t see her till after the feast when you wed,” Phorcys explained. “She’s having her bath and sacrificing her childhood toys to both Athena and Aphrodite as we speak.”

  Alex felt his shoulders drop, and he wondered if Aphrodite’s words were a curse or a blessing. Euryale continued to weigh on his heart, and he wondered how unbearable her absence would ultimately become. Before he could give it further thought, large, meaty hands gripped his shoulders from behind and gave a friendly, though crushing, squeeze.

  “Mortal!” Ares said, standing behind Alex, grinning from ear to ear. “Who’s this maiden you’ve brought us?”

  “Jessica,” Alex replied. “Old friend from school.”

  Jessica clutched her chest and an exaggerated hurt splashed across her face. “Friend? Is that what I’ve become?”

  “You know what I mean,” Alex said. “We dated when we were kids.”

  “A fine companion then to see you wed,” Ares said. He paused as his eyes darted to Zeus, whose attention was elsewhere, and then spoke in hushed tones. “Though keep her from Father, yes? Your friend’s beauty will not last if Zeus takes a liking to her and Hera has her revenge.”

  “Yes, Alex,” Jessica said, laughing. “You best protect me from the gods.”

  “Perhaps some of the gifts you receive will help you in that endeavor,” said Ares.

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “Gifts? From who?”

  “From everyone, of course,” Ares replied. He gave him another crushing squeeze on the shoulders before finally letting go. “Though mine must wait till tomorrow.” Ares leaned close and whispered in Alex’s ear. “Tomorrow you shall be my partner for the games. I have never lost, and as such, you will be assured a place in the victor’s circle. Glory shall be ours!”

  “We’re having Olympic games?”

  “Would there be any other?”

  “I suppose not,” said Alex, feeling dumb.

  “Just don’t fail me, little Alex,” Ares said, his voice touched by both threat and promise. “I would hate to be in your sandals should your performance be an embarrassment to me.”

  “What does that mean, exactly?”

  “You must take second place, Alex,” he replied. “I’ll tolerate nothing less. We are to be the champions on the field of battle, not pathetic footmen struggling to keep up.”

  Before Alex could reply, Zeus stood, raised his hands above his head and unleashed a bolt of lightning from one hand to the other. The minor display of power was both bright and loud enough to quiet the banquet hall and have everyone present give him his or her undivided attention. Most continued to wear smiles upon their faces, but more than one had traded the look of merriment for concern.

  “Before we start the feast and in accordance with the traditions of man, I wish to propose a toast,” Zeus said as he hoisted his goblet. “Let us drink merrily to the health and lasting relationship that Euryale, the daughter of Phorcys, and Alex, the recently deceased, have found with one another. Although I know not why a man would wish to be wed for all eternity, having to see the same woman day in and day out, night after night, being nagged and pestered about every little detail that goes on under the sun until his will is broken and his mind charred black, we wish him all the best just the same.”

  Phorcys thumped his claws on the table, and Hera let loose a sigh of discontent that did not escape the ears of those around her. Alex buried his face in his hands, hoping that others did not attribute the toast to his own feelings, while Jessica had her camera up and was snapping off a plethora of pics.

  Zeus looked at Alex, keeping his goblet high in the air, and grinned. “But I jest, of course,” he went on. “With the blessing of Aphrodite and Athena, and such a fine bride in Euryale, whose beauty has never been anything short of legendary, happiness shall surely flow throughout the days for you both. With that, let us drink—and drink well—lest we have to sit through another lecture from Dionysus.”

  “That’s not quite how we do toasts,” Alex said, leaning over to Phorcys and lowering his voice. “Maybe I should give one that’s more uplifting?”

  “Zeus does not take kindly to correction,” The Old Man replied in a low tone. “Unless you have an affinity for bolts of lightning, I would steer to calmer waters.”

  Alex grimaced. “Got it.”

  Zeus clapped his hands together, and the feast commenced. Satyrs bounded from every entrance, their hooves clacking loudly on the marble floor. Some skipped about with flutes and pipes in hand, while others cradled large plates of food in their arms. Flat breads, served with olive oil and vinegar, along with dried figs, chestnuts and chickpeas came first. As those were eaten, racks of lamb, filets of fish, and cooked game birds of all kinds soon followed. Though the meat offered was plentiful, its numbers paled to the amounts of fruits, vegetables, and cheeses that accompanied it.

  Alex ate it all, and more than once he noted that there was always room for more. Though he talked with The Old Man, Hera, and even Zeus throughout the meal, most of his conversations were with Jessica. Sometime after talks of childhood adventures and in the middle of confessions as to how neither could still fully believe they were dining with the gods, Alex noticed that the wine in his goblet was a different color than what the others drank.

  “It’s grape juice,” the satyr explained, evidently noting Alex’s confusion.

  “Because?”

  “Because I thought it best, given what happened last time,” Phorcys interjected. “Euryale found it amusing, but others that sit at this table might not find your drunken blasphemy as funny, especially when you are about to take your vows. First impressions, if you haven’t noticed, are very important around here.”

  “Ah,” Alex replied taking another sip. “Point taken.”

  * * *

  As the meal ended, gods and goddesses went their separate ways. Some were laughing. Most, however, were squabbling about this, that, and the other. The satyrs came and cleared the plates from the tables and refilled goblets one last time before disappearing altogether. Alex, with his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hands, had only Jessica, Zeus, and Phorcys to keep him company.

  “These deities are a hoot,” Jessica said as she started scrolling through the pictures on her DSLR. “I never would have guessed that Ares would have been so into having his picture taken. Aphrodite? Of course. Mister God of Wine and Parties, Dionysus? Certainly. We redid him posing with his maenad groupies at least a dozen times before they stopped slobbering all over each other for half a second to get a decent shot. But Ares? Why him?”

  “Probably sees it as something fun he can do to show off his glorious skills in combat,” Alex said after a moment’s thought.

  “Good point,” Jessica replied. “You know, I alwa
ys loved reading about these guys. The books and stories were so rich. But here we are walking among them. What more could you ever want?”

  “My liver to remain hands off,” Alex said.

  “Come again?”

  Alex shook his head and laughed. “Never mind. I don’t want to spoil the mood if you’re having a good time. Nothing you need to worry about anyway. You always were the social butterfly, not me.”

  “When do I get to meet this bride of yours?” she asked. “I’d love to get a shot of her in her gown before you see her and the service begins.”

  Alex felt the color drain from his face as up until now, he hadn’t even thought about what would happen should the two meet. He lunged at her without thought, practically mauling her as he covered her eyes. “You can’t. Oh, god, you’ve got to get out of here right now.”

  Jessica laughed and fought him off. “You think I’m leaving and not being a part of all this? You’re crazy. What’s this bride of yours going to do, eat me?”

  “No, she’ll turn you to stone.”

  “She will?” Jessica cocked her head before shooting out of her chair. But instead of terror gripping her body, it looked like mania had instead. “Of course, Euryale! Sister of Medusa and Stheno! She’s the one who has a couple red snakes in her hair, too, right? I can’t believe I didn’t realize who she was.”

  “Exactly. You’ve got to go before you become a permanent fixture.”

  “A tiny chance at petrification isn’t going to scare me off.” Jessica dug in her purse and whipped out a crème-colored compact mirror. “See? I’ll be fine. She can’t turn me to stone if I look around using a mirror.”

  “I don’t think it works that way.”

  “It most certainly does,” she countered as she practiced surveying the room via reflective surface. “You’d know that if you’d ever bothered reading your mythology in Miss Dolen’s class. How do you think Perseus slew Medusa?”