Single Dad’s Spring Break

by Rye Hart

  I took a second to digest all of what he said before my eyes turned out the window. It killed me, knowing a mother who had walked out on those kids was suddenly wanting back into the picture. After such a trauma, there was the possibility that she might walk out again, that this woman would come back, realize why she left, and leave again. Only this time, they would know her, and it would undoubtedly affect them. I knew that was what Kevin was thinking. It was my fear, too.

  But they weren’t my children, and I was in no position to tell him what he should do with them.

  No matter how much it killed me inside.

  “I think if she wants to give it a shot, then you should try. If she’s been battling something like that, then she’s been in a hell all her own. And who knows? Maybe this whole thing with the island and stuff shocked some sense into her. You never know. She could come back in and be the mother you wished she had been the first time around.”

  “That’s the thing. That never should have happened in the first place,” he said.

  “But you can’t hold that against her forever,” I said. “Eventually, you have to either forgive her and try this out or move on and tell her it’s not happening.”

  “But you think I should do it for the kids,” he said.

  “I think that if you don’t, there’s the possibility they could hold you responsible later on for not having a relationship with their mother. You’re their father, so no one is going to know better than you. But if she’s reaching out to you and asking for this, then it at least shows a willingness on her part.”

  I sipped on the rest of my wine to keep myself from talking because I was even convincing myself this was a good idea.

  “And that’s your honest opinion?” Kevin asked.

  I swallowed down the last of my wine before I placed the glass on the table.

  “Yes,” I lied. “It is.”

  CHAPTER 31

  KEVIN

  “So, you’re going to try counseling? After everything that woman put you through?” Owen asked.

  “Like Brooke said, I owe it to my kids to give this a shot,” I said.

  “I still can’t believe you ran into Sarah on the island,” he said.

  “Me neither. It still feels like I was watching a really shitty movie.”

  “And what Brooke did for your kids? Come on. You’ve got to see what I see.”

  “I’m not following.”

  “The woman’s in love with you, Kevin.”

  “Brooke isn’t in love with me,” I said.

  “She put into motion the plan that saved your daughter at great personal risk. After knowing you had kids for a week. After breaking her heart in college,” he said.

  “Exactly. I treated her like shit before. And if she was in love with me, why would she tell me to go back to Sarah?”

  “Because she cares about your kids more than she cares about her own feelings. That says a lot about her, man. I don’t think it’s a healthy thing for you to try and reconcile with Sarah. She’s only going through this because she found out about Sydney’s kidnapping. If she’d never run into you on that blasted island, you think she’d be knocking on your door now?” he asked.

  “That’s the point, Owen. Circumstances change people. And if she was going through postpartum depression and struggling that badly, I owe it to her to hear her out.”

  “You owe that woman nothing. I saw what she did to you. How broken and lost you were when you called me that morning and told me what happened.”

  “And I appreciate your concern. Owen, you’re my children’s godfather. I want you on my side with this. But if you're not, it’s not going to change the decision I’ve made. We’ve set up an appointment to meet with the therapist she’s supposedly been seeing for a couple of years and we’re going to see where it takes us.”

  “At least get an unbiased therapist in there. You know, someone who hasn’t sympathized with that woman for months on end.”

  “I’ll take it into consideration,” I said.

  “Which is code for ‘no thanks.’ Just keep it in the back of your mind.”

  “I will. I promise.”

  Owen walked out of my office and I looked over at the clock. I had our first therapy session in an hour. I finished signing some papers and sent them down to Finance, then I packed up my things and headed downstairs. Owen’s words were flying around in my head, distracting me from the task at hand. Was it possible Brooke was in love with me? It didn’t seem like she was. She’d been distant and unwilling to come by the house unless the kids were involved somehow.

  But he had a point.

  No woman whose heart I had broken would do what she had done for Sydney if love wasn’t somewhere in the picture.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Even with the distance growing between us and her unwillingness to come over more often, I found her in everything. In the wine I drank alone at night and in the eyes of my children when they asked where she was. I found Brooke in the back of my mind when I closed my eyes and saw her face when I dreamed. She had permeated my existence, and even as I drove to the therapy session she was the only thing on my mind.

  She was good with the kids. She saved Sydney. She brought a light back into my life I hadn’t had since—well? Since we’d first gotten together. Sarah’s pregnancy had been an accident. A wonderful one that gave me the two most precious beings in the world, but an accident nonetheless. I sat in front of the office of the therapist and sighed as Owen’s words bombarded my mind.

  She’s in love with you.

  I can’t believe you can’t see it.

  And I couldn’t deny that I had some of the same feelings.

  I stepped out of my car and tried to shake her from my mind. I told Sarah I would try my best in these therapy sessions, and I was a man of my word. But I was going to bring up my reservations.

  I wasn’t going to hold back.

  “Mr. Spencer, I’m so glad you could join us. I’m Doctor Valesky.”

  “Nice to meet you, doctor,” I said, as I shook his hand. “Where would you like me?”

  “Right here’s fine,” Sarah said.

  I looked over at her and saw her patting the couch close to her.

  Very close to her.

  I decided to sit on the opposite end of the couch, much to her dismay. I could see her therapist shoot her a look and I suddenly regretted not taking Owen up on his advice. There needed to be an objective third-party here. Someone who didn’t know either of us.

  I made a mental note to start making calls this week.

  “So, you are here to see if there’s a possibility of reconciliation,” the doctor said.

  “I would like that, yes,” Sarah said.

  “Let’s just talk and see what happens,” I said.

  “You seem hesitant,” the doctor said. “Care to elaborate?”

  “I’m worried Sarah won’t ever be comfortable with the idea of being a full-time mother. She never wanted children in the first place and, based on my prior interactions with her, I have my doubts.”

  “Well, Sarah did suffer from postpartum depression in a serious way. It took me months to get her back on track, but she is doing well now.”

  “Which is fine. And I’m sorry you battled that, Sarah,” I said as I looked over at her. “But I made you a promise when we got married. I promised you I would be there with you through anything. And instead of talking with me about what was going on with you, you abandoned me and your children and left without a trace.”

  “I’m sorry, Kevin,” she said. “But I want to make things right.”

  “Postpartum depression can account for your actions after your pregnancy, but not before. You never wanted the twins. I had to beg you to go through with the pregnancy. You told me you never wanted to be a mother,” I said.

  “Maybe we should slow down,” the doctor said. “Give Sarah some time to breathe.”

  “With all due respect, doctor, she’s had three and a half years to bre
athe. I’m the one who’s been cultivating a company and raising twins by myself,” I said.

  “That’s not fair. I’ve had my struggles in life,” Sarah said. “Struggles you can’t even imagine.”

  “My concern is that this reconciliation is a knee-jerk reaction to the abduction of my daughter.”

  “Our daughter,” she said.

  “And that once the shock of all of this wears off and she realizes how hard raising two four-year-olds is, she’ll disappear on us again and I’ll have to pick up the pieces. And this time, the kids will know who she is and feel the pain of her loss where they didn’t before. I won’t let them go through that.”

  I could hear Sarah sniffling, but it didn’t hurt me like I thought it would. What I found, instead, was my incessant comparison of her to Brooke. She wasn’t as strong as Brooke, as honest as Brooke, as beautiful as Brooke, or as open to hearing my side of the story as Brooke would have been.

  Then, the reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks.

  I didn’t want to try to reconcile with Sarah.

  I was in love with Brooke.

  Holy shit. I was in love with Brooke.

  “Mr. Spencer?” the doctor asked. “Is something wrong?”

  “I can’t do this,” I said.

  “What?” Sarah asked.

  I heard the tone of her voice change and it even caught the doctor’s attention.

  “Sarah, deep breaths. Like we talked about.”

  “You told me you wanted to reconcile,” Sarah said.

  “No, I told you we could talk about it. But Sarah, I don’t trust you. And I’m not sure if I ever will. I think we could take the time and reconcile as people. Maybe get you some time with the kids. But us? We’ll never be together.”

  “I want us to be a family,” Sarah said, as tears rolled down her cheeks. “You and me and the kids. Like it should’ve been.”

  “Then you should have talked to me instead of running, Sarah. You should have talked to your husband. The man who threw down everything when he found out you were pregnant.”

  “That isn’t fair. I was depressed. Spiraling.”

  “And you got help. And I’m thankful for that. But that doesn’t mean I can trust you, and it doesn’t mean I could ever love you.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she said, breathlessly.

  “Sarah, let’s take a step back for a second,” the doctor said.

  “You seem stable, and that’s a good thing,” I said, as I reached out for her hand. “And maybe with some more therapy, we could carefully ease you into the lives of the kids in some way. But we’ll never be a family. Not the kind you’re looking for.”

  I watched her slump into the couch as she wiped at her eyes.

  “Thank you for having me and giving me a platform to speak my piece,” I said.

  Sarah refused to look at me, and I couldn't blame her. But I also wasn’t going to lead her on. I had to talk with Brooke. I had to tell her how I felt. I had to try and reconcile things with the woman I did trust. The woman I did love. The woman I cherished.

  I only hoped she would pick up the phone for me.

  And that she would understand.

  If I was lucky, she would feel the same way.

  CHAPTER 32

  BROOKE

  I sat at my laptop staring at the blinking cursor. Seventy-five percent done, and I couldn't bring myself to wrap up the damn story. I groaned and slumped over, pressing my forehead against the keyboard. I didn’t care what random letters popped up. Maybe, by osmosis, they would punch the ending of my story into my mind and it would unfold exactly how it was supposed to.

  But rarely did things ever work like that.

  It’d been a couple of days since I’d heard from Kevin and told him what I thought he should be doing with the mother of his children. I kept chastising myself and wondering why in the world I hadn’t spoken what I truly thought. That I felt she was toxic and manipulative and looking for something he couldn't provide. That there were so many unanswered questions as to why she just popped up out of the blue and suddenly wanted a relationship again. That I got the feeling she also wanted him, not just her kids.

  None of that was my place, though. She was the mother of his children and I had no right to come between him and the family he had created. No matter the circumstances and no matter their past, she deserved a fighting chance.

  They both did.

  Which was fine, because it was still hard to look at Kevin. And even harder to look at Sydney. I still blamed myself for her kidnapping. For being so negligent in allowing the kids to get away from me the way they had. I had had a false sense of security on an island I was completely unfamiliar with, and I’d allowed Kevin’s wealth to blind me to the dangers lurking around us. It didn’t matter that I’d gotten Sydney back. It didn’t matter that I’d rescued her. Had I not been so idiotic in the first place, she wouldn’t have needed rescuing.

  I felt tears rising in my eyes as I sat up.

  There were random letters filling up two pages at the end of my document, and I didn’t even have the energy to delete them. It was more satisfying than looking at a blank page, so I closed my laptop and allowed the document to save. All that work and inspiration, gone in the blink of an eye.

  I had no idea what I was going to do.

  Or where I was going to go from there.

  My cell phone rang and as I looked over at it, I saw it was Kevin calling. I felt my heart leap against my chest as my hand reached for it, but I paused momentarily.

  If I picked it up, I knew I would do whatever he asked of me. And if he was calling to tell me I could no longer see the children because of Sarah re-entering their lives, I knew it would break my heart. It would tear me into pieces, despite how I tried to push him away, to keep my heart locked up from him after what he had done to me.

  But the longer the phone rang, the more I yearned for his voice.

  The voice of the man I’d fallen in love with.

  “Hello?” I asked.

  “Hey. It’s me.”

  “Hey, Kevin. Are you okay? You sound like something’s wrong.”

  “It’s been a long day.”

  “It’s only two o’clock,” I said.

  “I was calling to see if you would come over for dinner tonight,” he said.

  “Tonight?”

  “Yeah. Sydney’s been begging to see you, and Daniel’s right on her heels. They keep asking when you’re coming back over, so I was hoping you would have dinner with us again tonight.”

  I tried to stifle my disappointment. He was only asking for the kids. “Yeah, sure. For the kids,” I said. “I can’t wait to see them.”

  I can’t wait to see you.

  “Wonderful. Same time as last time?” Kevin asked.

  “Sounds great to me.”

  “Well, the kids are looking forward to it. And me. Me and the kids.”

  I grinned at his words as I leaned back in my chair, allowing myself to feel the slightest bit relieved.

  “Should I bring anything?” I asked.

  “Just yourself. That’s the only thing we need.”

  His words claimed a chokehold on my throat as a silence fell over the conversation.

  “Well, we’ll see you tonight,” Kevin said.

  “Yes. Tonight,” I said breathlessly.

  I hung up the phone and slowly set it back down on my desk. I looked around my room as his words settled into my bones. Me. The only thing they needed. Not the kids? But him, too?

  Maybe I was reading too much into things.

  The last thing I needed was to get my hopes up.

  Six o’clock came around and I was knocking on the front door of their massive home. I heard the kids running into the foyer before the door creaked open and Daniel ran into my arms. I picked up a giggling Sydney and held her close as Kevin appeared. He had on a pair of tailored pants and a white linen shirt, and it was hard for me to take my eyes off him.

  “
You’re here!” Daniel said. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “I love you, Miss Brooke,” Sydney said.

  “Oh, I love you too, sweetheart,” I said into the top of her head. “And something smells good in here.”

  “I hope you like duck,” Kevin said with a smile.

  “Never had it.”

  “Then I’m sure you’ll love what the chef has prepared for tonight. It’s the best duck in the city,” he said.

  “Miss Brooke, I went to school today,” Daniel said.

  “Oh, really. And how is it going?” I asked.

  “Really awesome. I told everyone about swimming and the waterslide and the beach.”

  “And I told everyone about you,” Sydney said.

  I looked over at Kevin before my eyes drifted to Sydney.

  “You told them about me?” I asked.

  “Yeah. ’Cuz you’re my best friend,” Sydney grinned up at me.

  “Well, thank you, Sydney. I’m honored to be your best friend,” I said.

  “What’s that mean?” she asked, scrunching her small nose.

  “It means happy. I’m very happy that I’m your best friend,” I explained.

  The little girl wrapped her arms around my leg and squeezed. “Me too.”

  Dinner was fabulous, and the duck was outstanding. The kids told me about their time back at school and Kevin was quiet, allowing them to talk. I couldn’t really get a read on him. There were times when I could feel his eyes on me, and there were other times when he wasn’t even paying attention. His eyes would be cast out the window into the backyard or he’d leave the kitchen altogether and be gone for a while.

  I wasn’t sure what was going on, and I didn’t know if it was my place to ask.

  We cleaned up the kitchen before settling in to watch a movie. Both kids insisted on being cuddled up against me, tucked underneath an arm with their heads on my bosom and their eyes trained on the television.

  It was so sweet, but it was hard to pay attention with the way Kevin’s arm draped around all of us.

  His long wingspan curved around my shoulders before his hand fell onto Daniel’s head. His fingers were stroking through his son’s hair, but I was painfully aware of the heat of his skin along the back of my neck. I tried to concentrate on the movie, but I only took in bits and pieces of it. Every time Kevin moved and shifted his arm it sent shivers down my spine.