Seven Days Destinations
Page 11
It was Carla who took charge of the topics of conversation despite the fact she was ten years younger than her mentor. She wanted to know how Zoe was adjusting to working again, where she found the wonderful Iris and how the pregnancy and birth of Zach had gone for her.
Zoe had been afraid of the latter subject but Carla did not flinch when Zoe confessed her initial problems.
“Hey! I had a devil of a time getting these two on a schedule. I had two nursery helpers every day for three months and even then it was touch and go some days. It really was not until my dear Mum arrived that it all began to make sense. I felt I was going to go crazy some days, and many nights!”
Zoe noted this statement and felt again the lack of her own mother in those early days. If Grace Morton had still been alive, her daughter’s introduction to motherhood might have been much smoother.
The last vestiges of self-blame for her failure to bond with Zachary fled. It was all in the past now and the future was bright again. She would take advice from Carla and watch Zach benefit from the company of other children in his home. It was an excellent plan all round. She had taken a holiday for the two weeks so the children could be ferried around to see the sights of London. When Carla’s suite was ready in the hotel, she and the twins would move in there but the connection would be maintained, if today’s easy start was any indicator. She heard the sounds of laughter and play from the lounge and a deep calm settled over her. This was going to be a good time, another learning experience, and the new beginning she had longed for.
Chapter Five
A Sunday in August
In August, Zoe’s father Michael arrived in London to spend time with his grandson. Aunt Isobel had called to say she was not able to make the journey from Glasgow as she was suffering from hip pain and was waiting for a doctor’s appointment to see if she could be added to the list of hip replacement patients.
Both Wesley and Zoe were glad to get time alone with Michael Morton. He was a man who had impressed Wesley with his sincerity and his desire not to burden his daughter with the truth in spite of the fact she had held bitter and erroneous opinions of him for several years.
It was Wesley who, with Zoe’s approval, had made the first contact with Michael. He had been able to a fill in some of the details leading to her mother Grace’s death. The older man had believed it was his fate never to see his only daughter again. She had been adamant about dismissing him from her life since the day she found her mother’s suicide note. Wesley knew Zoe would not heal from this traumatic incident and its aftermath, until she had confronted her father once more.
It was a risky undertaking, but Wesley had prepared the ground well. Their first meeting broke apart the defenses Zoe had built up and she had accepted her father with all his faults. Since then their meetings had been few but the sentiments they felt when they reunited still resonated each time they met.
Zoe now noticed her father looked older. He was slim and neatly dressed in a dark suit but he was not standing as straight as before.
“Is your arthritis bothering you, Dad?” He nodded in response, but his wide smile conveyed his wish to ignore any physical limitations during this precious visiting time.
She took his arm and steered him into the house where Iris was introduced and Michael marvelled at his first sight of his only grandchild.
“My, Zoe, he’s a bonny lad! And he’s grown since the photos you sent us. Will he object if I sit him on my knee?”
“No, he’s fine with that. He spent two weeks with friends last month and he has developed a liking for meeting new people since then. But don’t hurt your hands by trying to lift him. He’s put on a bit of weight and the doctor says he will run it off as soon as he is steady on his feet.”
“So he’s walking now?”
“Well!!” laughed Wesley, “it’s more like a drunk man staggering than actual walking. He was trying to follow the twins we had staying here and he advanced a bit too fast for his age. He’ll adjust soon, I’m sure.”
Michael smiled widely again as Zachary was placed on his knees. Without hesitation he began to rock Zachary up and down on his knees as he sang an old Scottish rhyme.
“Hi, Jock ma cuddy.
Ma cuddy’s o’er the dyke.
And if you touch ma cuddy.
Ma cuddy will gie you a bite!
Ha!”
On the last syllable, Michael bounced Zach much higher and the boy laughed in surprise.
“What on earth is that?” exclaimed Wesley.
“Oh, my goodness!” replied Zoe. “Dad! You used to sing that silly thing to me when I was a child.
I had completely forgotten it till now.”
“But what does it mean?” Wesley was puzzled and a trifle alarmed that some strange foreign words were being introduced to his son.
“Ach, it’s a wee ditty about a man and his horse. It’s not the words the bairns like, it’s the bouncing up and down and the big bounce at the end. I just did it by instinct. It’s a long, long time since Zoe sat on these old knees.” He glanced up at his daughter and they shared a sorrowful grin.
By this point Zach was tired of waiting for the second round. He began to bounce on his own and shouted “Go! Go!”
That settled the matter. Michael had been accepted by Zach. Zoe was reminded of her childhood and Wesley was happy for all parties. This visit was starting out well.
Michael Morton had no desire to leave Dunstan’s Close. He was more than glad to spend every moment with Zoe, Zachary and Wesley. On days when Zoe worked, he spent the time with Wesley and Zach, going about their usual routine of play and stories and eating. Michael was impressed by the way Wesley could take over the boy’s care. In his day, fathers were excluded for most of the childcare. Their role was to provide for the family by working hard while the womenfolk stayed home with the children. What he saw now was so much more sensible. Zach and his father had an easy, comfortable relationship and it was convenient for Zoe to continue her career without worrying about childcare issues.
“What happens if either of you is out of town on business or Zach has a cold?”
“On normal weeks, Zach can go with Zoe to work. They have a wonderful Daycare in the building. If I am busy, we can also call on Iris O’Malley who looked after Zach when he was smaller. He loves Iris and the feeling is mutual.”
“Sounds like a perfect set up for the boy and for you two.”
“Michael, it was far from perfect at the start. I owe you an explanation of the long delay in inviting you here to meet your grandson. The truth is, Zoe suffered from a bad case of post-partum depression and I am afraid I did not handle that as well as I should have done.”
“But, what could have prepared you for that? She was so happy and relaxed when we saw her in Scotland. She was loving being pregnant. Isobel remarked on it several times.”
“It was a set of difficult circumstances, Michael, that set her off on the wrong track. Your lovely daughter had never failed at anything in her life and she had unrealistic expectations for herself as a mother. I am the one who failed to realize I was not a substitute for a woman’s help and advice at such a time. By the point when I had to admit my failure, a lot of damage had been done.”
“I dinna doubt your word, Wesley. If anyone should understand what was happening, you would be the one, but as far as I can see, everything is good, and better than good now. Anybody could tell this is a happy home. It’s the hardships of life that make us grateful. You know I mean that sincerely. I value these precious minutes with all three of you, Wesley. There’s no telling if they may be my last.”
“Heaven forbid, Michael! You’re not sick, are you? Zoe would be so upset to hear that.”
“Not at all! I’m in fine fettle for my age but I am getting older and the obituaries in the newspaper are often bringing word of old friends’ passing.”
“We’ll be expecting both you and Isobel for our annual Boxing Day celebration in a few months. It will be the usual cr
owd of dear friends, but only you two are family.”
“From what I’ve seen, you are blessed with friends who are as good as, or better than, actual family.
Treasure these people. Life is short, Wesley.”
He looked over to where Zach was playing happily with a set of blocks.
“Now this brings me to another topic. It’s not my place to ask, but I will anyway. Tell me, will there be more grandchildren, do you think? This lovely wee lad should not be alone. I often wished Zoe had a sister or brother but it was not to be for Grace and me.”
Wesley was taken aback by this turn in the conversation. Truthfully, he had never considered the question. So much of his time and energy had gone to solving the problems Zach brought with him that he had not thought beyond this point.
“Ach, Wes, I see I’ve shocked you. Forget I intruded on your private business. Please dinna tell Zoe what I said. Did you not say something about a pot of tea for Zoe when she wakes from her nap upstairs?”
The awkward moment passed but a seed had been planted in Wesley’s mind and he knew he would have to think deeply about the matter.
* * *
Zoe was listening to this conversation from the balcony that ran along the bedroom floor and was open to the kitchen and lounge below. She had been re-shelving a set of books Wesley used when he was researching psychiatric methods for patients who did not respond to current strategies.
She stopped in her tracks and glanced down to see her husband’s face when her father asked the question. She could see only the back of his head but his body betrayed his reaction. He had tensed up considerably and he changed the subject immediately to a discussion of what Michael would like for lunch.
When the men had moved to the kitchen, choosing seats at the island from which they could watch Zach, Zoe let out a breath and tiptoed into the master bedroom, closing the door quietly. Wes thought she was taking a nap. She did not want him to guess what had been mentioned in her hearing.
She went out to the small balcony overlooking the gardens and breathed in the warm scented air of July.
Did she want another baby? Was she willing to risk going through again the chaos of Zach’s first months when she was terrified of her own child’s reactions?
She counted the months to her next birthday. If she was to give birth again, she would have to decide soon. She was nearing the age when child-bearing had problems. She had read accounts in the newspapers of women who had babies in their sixties or fifties but both she and Wes thought that was foolishness. As Wes had said often, ‘What age would the child’s parents be when he or she reached the teenage years? It doesn’t bear thinking about.’
Of course, it would be safer not to attempt another child. Of course it would. But Zach was such a lovely boy and there was a tiny part of her that wanted to be the mother she should have been right from the beginning, to prove to herself she could be that mother.
Another voice insisted she had plans for Excelsior that needed her full attention in the next year.
And yet, if not soon, it might be too late to add to their family. She had a sudden vision of a dark-haired little girl in a pretty pink dress running in the garden picking up wind-blown petals and bringing them back in handfuls to her parents and brother seated on the swing.
Zoe shook her head to dispel the vision. That was romantic nonsense. Having babies was a much more serious matter than playing and buying clothes. It was a life-or-death scenario in which all parties were committed to ignoring the realities and hoping desperately for a good conclusion.
Into her mind came that feeling of complete rightness she had when pregnant. She reached down and patted her stomach as she had done when Zach was on the way. It was a magical nine months that had been subsumed by the events that followed. No guarantees a second pregnancy would follow the exact same pattern. It could also follow that difficulties during the birth could occur again, But, what if….? What if she was now better prepared for any eventualities? What if everything went well and a successful pregnancy and birth completely wiped away all the misery of the first?
“Oh, don’t be such a schoolgirl, Zoe Morton-Philips! You are far too sensible to be swayed by such fantasies.”
She turned abruptly and made for the down stairway. She would feed Zach and join the conversation with her two men about where they would eat supper that night.
This was her intention, but the matter had not been decided one way or the other and Zoe knew it.
Chapter Six
A Monday in September.
Zoe arrived at Excelsior at nine o’clock with Zach in tow. Her morning routine had changed since the days when she was at her desk promptly at eight. She now preferred to be dropped off later by Wes so they could avoid the worst of the morning traffic. It was a part of her day to check Zach into the company Day Care Facility where he loved to play with other children of the company employees.
Zoe had made some improvements to the area based on what she had seen in Sandra Halder’s place in Glasgow. She wanted a home-like atmosphere, rather than the sterile, easy-clean surfaces usually found in such places. She had tracked down a company that produced colourful rugs and cushions that could be washed without losing either their colours or their softness. These were scattered around so children could sit or lie on them in comfort. She had also learned from Sandra to have storage fixtures designed to hold toys and playhouses. This allowed the space to be cleared for a variety of activities for the older children.
Since having Zach, Zoe had discovered she had common ground with other employees. Shared parenthood was a topic of conversation that drew people of all kinds together.
Suzanne had mentioned the difference.
“You used to be seen as kind of aloof and remote in your office suite, Zoe, but now you are a mother you are more approachable. You must have noticed the rise in ideas from the suggestions box. People feel more willing to risk venturing a far-out suggestion now that they know you are human, fallible and sometimes distracted by what’s going on with your family.”
“Not too distracted, I hope?”
“Of course not! I am merely using that as an example. If anything, you are more productive than you ever were. At executive meetings, the word is you can get work done faster and more efficiently than before. The execs love your short sessions.”
“Good! I hate to waste time that I could be spending with Zachary.”
“Has Wesley gone back to work full time now?”
“Yes, I felt so guilty about all the weeks he devoted to Zach while I was ill, that I insisted he should pick up his client load again.”
“How is it working out for you?”
“Well, the scheduling is a bit of a work in progress. Each week requires different scheduling but we have adjusted nicely so far and Zach loves being here with me nearby.”
“Then I guess it’s no different from your normal work week here. That is always changing.”
“Exactly! And we need to meet the challenges, as usual, to keep ahead of the market. What are our sales like for the last quarter on the new Organics line of products? How is the campaign featuring a range of models of all ages meeting public approval? And where are we on the proposed program to slide further into the European market? The economic situation is fluctuating these days and we need a strong position both here at home, and in Europe. Also I want a study of the possibilities of tying into the Canadian market. I think it would be a good way to get an intro into the States without the vast commitment that move would require.”
Suzanne made some quick notes on her phone.
“Right I have the spreadsheets here for you, Zoe, but there’s one other item you have expressed interest in.”
Suzanne’s boss had already donned her reading glasses and picked up a highlighter pen. She paused to look at the sheet of paper placed in front of her. “When did you get these stats?”
“I compiled them this morning before you arrived. I thought you would like to see the
response.”
Zoe was surprised. She had asked for a survey of parents who used their company Day Care Facility and it looked as if there was an overwhelmingly positive response to the questions:
Do you think Excelsior should market a line of children’s clothing?
Would you be willing to test drive samples for the company using your own children?
“Looks like another idea to add to future developments, don’t you think?”
Zoe agreed. Suzanne made a note to that effect and they turned to the financial issues.
Zoe had another thought before her mind was absorbed in immediate decisions.
If this goes ahead, I know of a set of gorgeous twins who would be spectacular models for the children’s clothing line.
* * *
Dr. Wesley Philips had expected to slip right back into the routine of his office without any problems. He had been working half days for some weeks while Zoe also tried part-time hours. One parent was always at home for their son. It was what they had decided would be best.
In many ways it was an ideal compromise. Both had special times with Zachary and they could pass on any vital information when they switched places around midday.
He knew Zoe was always intending to be a working mother. Her business life was too important to her to be postponed forever. It was different for him. In some ways he had been totally absorbed by his weeks with the baby when Zoe was not able to mother him. It was an amazing experience. Not only in the bonding with his much-desired child, but also in the insights the entire experience with Zach had provided for him. He concluded that there was no other way he could have acquired such insights into the pain of post-partum depression and the vital importance of early contacts with a newborn. He looked back now on sessions he had had with mothers before this, and knew he had really no inkling of the depth of their despair. Should the opportunity arise again to counsel such patients, he knew he would be far better prepared to help.