Blind Spot

by Maggie Kavanagh

  “And Nate,” Eric said as he wrapped up another story. “He ran the last five miles with his head held up, even with his sprained ankle. Nope. He wouldn’t let it get him down. He was a real trooper. But he had class. You know? Looks like he still does.”

  There was nothing ironic about the statement. In spite of the joking, he seemed like a genuine guy. Sam was starting to like Eric Duquesne.

  “After training we went our separate ways. My field office was in Texas, and Nate was just married.”

  “So, what have you been doing since?” Sam asked—maybe too abruptly.

  “I was down on the border for the last five years. Messy business. Lots of people dying out in the desert.” He shook his head and made a noise of disgust. “Such a waste. I’m looking forward to the change of pace, to tell you the truth.” He arched an eyebrow at Nathan.

  Sam cleared his throat. “So, have you been… uh, trained, like Nathan has?”

  “You mean in BDSM? Hell no. I’ve been in the community for about eight years now.”

  “Oh.” So he was experienced. Very experienced.

  “And I’m a switch, if you’re curious.” He aimed his amused gaze at Sam. “That’s an offer. You wanna maybe do something together? Get rid of the tension?”

  “I think we better focus on the case for now,” Nathan said darkly. Sam hid a smile behind his hand.

  Eric seemed bemused. He shrugged. “Well, if you boys decide you want to play sometime, once this is all over, you give me a call. The more the merrier, I always say. Life’s too short for monogamy.”

  Sam snorted, and Nathan glanced up at the ceiling, like he was waiting for some higher power to give him strength. Eric’s general lightheartedness had rubbed off on Sam, and he started to feel better about the prospect of Nathan and Eric working together. Even though Eric would probably fuck Nathan gladly, he wasn’t the type to get involved with another man’s boyfriend—unless asked, of course. And he certainly didn’t seem interested in settling down.

  “The man is a menace,” Nathan groused once they’d shown Eric the extra room, and he said he was going to take a shower. “I can’t believe he was flirting with you in front of me.”

  “I like him.”

  Nathan’s eyes glinted. “Oh, you’re so in trouble now.”

  Chapter Five

  SAM PRESSED a kiss to his brother’s smooth, cool forehead. He smelled clean—like the baby shampoo the Shady Brook staff used on patients. But Tim was almost twenty-three years old.

  “How’s everything going in here?”

  Sam smiled as he turned to find his brother’s nurse, Lisa, wearing scrubs covered with bears juggling tiny oranges and apples. He almost never saw her in a repeat pair. She wheeled in the new bag of IV fluid and started to unhook the depleted one with efficient movements.

  “Oh, not too bad,” Sam said, watching her.

  “Whatcha reading today?”

  Sam glanced at the book in his hands. Every time he visited his little brother, he spent some time reading out loud to him. Lisa suggested it would help keep Tim’s brain active, and it provided the additional bonus of giving Sam something to do. That day he’d chosen an old Sherlock Holmes mystery, The Hound of the Baskervilles. Sam had liked reading Arthur Conan Doyle when he was younger.

  “Oh, neat,” said Lisa, swiping her bangs back from her forehead. “Don’t mind me. I’ll just be a minute.” She checked Tim’s blood pressure and wrote a couple things down on her chart. “Holler if you need anything in here. All right?”

  Sam thanked her. After she left, he settled down in the chair next to Tim’s bed and opened the book. About fifteen minutes later, he sighed and closed it again.

  “Nathan’s leaving tomorrow,” he said.

  The doctors didn’t know if Tim was aware of his surroundings, but Sam imagined his brother could hear him. He wondered what he might say in response.

  Sorry, bro. That sucks.

  But Tim never used to call him “bro.” He’d called him a jerk on several occasions. Sam realized with a pang that he didn’t know what his brother might say, and he probably never would. Still, it helped to talk about it. For the sake of secrecy, he wasn’t able to share his fears with Rachel and Yuri. But Tim was a good listener.

  “I’m sure everything will be fine. I’m worrying for nothing. Eric doesn’t seem like a bad guy.” In any case he still had the mayor’s murder to occupy him, among other projects, so he’d have plenty to distract him while Nathan was away. As long as he didn’t think too hard about what his boyfriend would be doing there, he’d be fine. He had to trust in Nathan.

  He squeezed Tim’s hand again, and just for a second, he imagined Tim squeezed back.

  WHEN HE got back to the apartment, he discovered Nathan and Eric in the living room, trying on bondage gear. Or rather Eric was trying on bondage gear. Nathan was dressed in his regular clothes, but Eric sported a rubber collar that fit snugly around his thick neck. He also wore a pair of nipple clamps, connected together by a thin metal chain dangling between his tattooed pecs.

  “Uh.” Sam blinked as he came into the living room. “Am I interrupting something?”

  Eric grinned and held his arms wide. “Whaddya think?” His nipples were pinched into tight beads by the clamps, and Sam couldn’t help staring.

  “What did you guys do? Raid a sex shop?”

  “Nope,” Eric said, bending over to rummage through a large cardboard box. “This is all my stuff. Had it shipped.” He pulled out a black latex mask with a zippered mouth closure. “I’ve been wondering where this was. This thing is great.” With some difficulty he pulled the tight-fitting material over his head, then unzipped the mouth, stuck his tongue out, and waggled it suggestively. “Easy access. See? But then, if you want to shut me up—” He zipped it again.

  “Impressive,” Sam said with a snort. He looked at Nathan, and the two of them shared a tolerant, amused glance.

  “I’ve got all sorts of stuff in here,” Eric said, holding up a couple bottles. “You guys need any leather or latex cleaner, just let me know.”

  Eric was still pawing through his loot as Sam went into the kitchen to see about food. He thought of whipping up some pasta and jarred sauce—not exactly a gourmet feast, but not take-out lazy either. Maybe they even had some stuff for salad lying around.

  “You guys hungry?” he called over his shoulder.

  “Starving, darling,” drawled Eric.

  “What do you want to order for dinner?” Nathan asked. “Chinese?”

  Sam laughed to himself. Nathan would probably order out every night, if he could. Sam grabbed a couple boxes of spaghetti from the cupboard and filled their largest, rarely used pot with water. He was adding sauce to heat in a small pan when Nathan approached from behind and put his arms around Sam’s waist.

  “You’re cooking?” Nathan rested his chin on Sam’s shoulder.

  “Didn’t you know? Boiling water is my specialty. You guys having fun in there?” It wasn’t meant to sound snarky, but Nathan was instantly all apologies.

  “Eric’s a bit of a ham, if you hadn’t noticed. He just tore open the box and started taking off his clothes. I hope you don’t think anything was going on.”

  “Of course not,” Sam said, though he could have done without the defensiveness in Nathan’s tone. He wasn’t sure he was going to forget the nipple clamps anytime soon either. “But I might as well get used to it. Do you… uh… what are you going to wear?”

  “I’ve never been into dressing up. But you, on the other hand—”

  “I’m not wearing one of those gimp masks,” Sam said. “That was way too Pulp Fiction for me. No latex bodysuits either.”

  Nathan huffed a laugh against Sam’s neck. “I was thinking something more basic. Something to highlight your fabulous ass—like a jockstrap.” He cupped the attribute in question with both hands.

  The idea wasn’t unappealing. In fact Sam thought it would be hot. He hadn’t worn a jock since college. “As long
as it’s not leopard print, I’m game. And I want to see you in some leather pants.”

  “That can definitely be arranged.”

  Sam stirred the sauce as it started to bubble. “And I was thinking…. I’d like to try something like those clamps Eric had on.”

  Nathan leaned into him and ran his hands up Sam’s chest to pinch his nipples. “Sounds like a great idea.”

  When the water started to boil, Sam kicked Nathan out of the kitchen and asked him to set the table. Eric popped in to model a thong-and-assless-chaps combo, and Sam found himself actually giving thoughtful criticisms. “Yes. The magenta is too much,” and “Sure. A couple studded wrist cuffs would be the perfect complement.” How had this become his life?

  He managed to not overcook the spaghetti too badly, and the three of them watched Jeopardy and ate from steaming, heaping bowls on the couch—just Sam, his boyfriend, and his boyfriend’s BDSM work partner. A regular Hallmark-family moment.

  SAM GOT up early the next morning. He found Eric awake and puttering around in the kitchen, butt naked.

  “Oh,” Sam said as he rounded the corner and eyeballed Eric’s low hangers. The guy had a full, untrimmed bush, which contrasted with his closely cropped hair up top. “I didn’t know you were… uh.” He flushed and looked away.

  “Hope this doesn’t bother you?” Eric asked. He used his muscular ass to hip-check one of the lower cupboards shut. “I’m a firm believer in nudity. It’s good for the soul. Freeing. I’ll cover up if you want me to.”

  “It’s fine.” Sam carefully skirted the periphery of the kitchen to grab a mug. “I’m just not used to waking up to find random naked men in my kitchen.”

  Eric frowned. “What a shame.”

  Sam helped himself to a cup of coffee and tried to work out how he was feeling. In less than three hours, Nathan and Eric would be gone and Sam would have to live with it. There was no denying Eric was attractive. He would probably be tempted if he were in Nathan’s place, but he didn’t have Nathan’s history with him. There wasn’t anything between them, and he doubted there would be in the future. It was all for show. An act. He could live with that.

  He grabbed his laptop from the kitchen counter, where it was charging, and headed for the living room.

  There were still no arrests in the mayor’s murder investigation. Sam wondered whether there had been any developments since the last time he spoke to Chief Howard. He figured he might as well head to the station to poke around—maybe follow up with Barney Collins too.

  “I want you to know I have no intention of moving in on Nate.” The statement distracted Sam, and he looked up from his laptop. Sometime in the last five minutes, Eric had located his underwear and put on a wife beater. He’d also apparently fallen under Shadow’s spell. She lounged belly-up in his massive tattooed arms, purring like a motorboat as he scratched under her chin. “The guy worships the ground you walk on, anyway. You don’t have nothin’ to worry about.”

  Sam flushed. “The feeling’s mutual. And I’m not worried.”

  “Oh no?” Eric raised an eyebrow in his direction.

  “Well, you have to admit, this whole thing is weird.”

  Eric shrugged. “It’s all relative. If you saw some of the things I’ve seen, you’d be thanking your lucky stars Nate’s got a case like this. Don’t you trust him?”

  “Of course I trust him.” But… once Nathan was in the field, who knew what might happen? It wasn’t impossible that he might meet someone who interested him. Worry twisted Sam’s stomach even though he tamped it down.

  “Listen. I get it, man. I had a guy I was crazy for once. We were together in Iraq. Had a threesome with another buddy, and it was strange. I didn’t like it.” He stared off into the vacant space behind Sam’s head.

  “So what happened with the guy?” Sam asked. Was this mysterious lover the referent of the FP tattoo? He was surprised at the revelation that Eric had served in Iraq, though he didn’t know why he should be. The timeline made sense.

  Eric shrugged, his nonchalant grin firmly back in place. There was a hollowness behind his eyes, though. “It’s not important. Love isn’t for me. It’s too much… everything.” He shook his head and went back to petting Shadow.

  Before Sam could ask him to clarify, Nathan stumbled, bleary-eyed, out of the bedroom.

  “Morning,” he said, smiling at Sam. Once he saw Eric in his underwear, he closed his eyes and muttered something to himself. At least he had put some clothes on.

  “Hi, lazy bones,” said Sam.

  Nathan approached him and gave him a quick kiss. “What’re you two talking about?”

  “Oh, nothing.” Sam didn’t want Nathan to know about his continuing concerns, because it would suggest he didn’t trust him. He did. But he hated not knowing what might happen. Unforeseen circumstances couldn’t be prevented.

  “I’m gonna take off for an hour or two. See the town and give you some time alone,” Eric said. He was already walking toward the guest room. “Be back at ten. And then we head out. Right?”

  Nathan nodded. The two of them would be met by their handler and receive their final briefing later that day, and then they’d be off to someplace in New Jersey. The specific location hadn’t been disclosed. Nathan couldn’t even tell Sam the alias he’d be using, but Sam did know that he and Eric would be posing as a newly married couple. The two of them had already gotten matching rings, but Nathan hadn’t put his on yet.

  Once Eric was dressed and gone, Sam closed his eyes and rubbed them. He chastised himself for being so damn emotional.

  “I’ll be home before you know it,” Nathan said softly. “And I’ll only be a few hours away. Yeah?”

  Sam steeled himself, opened his eyes, and took a deep breath. He turned to Nathan with a seductive smile. “Well, we still have some time. Let me give you something to remember. What do you want? You want to fuck me out here? Maybe use some toys? I’ll get the blindfold—”

  Nathan grabbed his hand before he could get up. “No.”

  “Don’t tell me you want to cuddle?” Sam teased. The serious expression on Nathan’s face made his heart clench along with his stomach—like all of his essential organs were connected to Nathan, and his departure was twisting them up.

  “No. I want you to fuck me.” Nathan’s eyes were a little watery, and Sam wasn’t sure if he should acknowledge it or pretend he didn’t notice. He cupped Nathan’s neck from behind and drew him forward.

  “Okay,” Sam whispered, leaning his forehead against Nathan’s. “Okay. Let’s go back to bed.”

  They undressed slowly, taking their time to feel each other’s bodies as they kissed. Nathan seemed to want Sam to lead, so he did. He ran his hands over Nathan’s chest and down to his hips. Nathan’s cock lay thick and hard on his belly, and Sam leaned down to kiss it, but didn’t take it into his mouth.

  “Turn over.”

  Nathan grunted something unintelligible, flipped onto his belly, then ground against the soft duvet. His hips canted back, as though in anticipation.

  Sam leaned down and kissed a trail to Nathan’s fabulous ass, which was toned and firm from all the swimming. He urged Nathan’s legs apart to kneel between them. Splayed out like that, Nathan was a sight to behold. Sam drank in the long lines of his body—his defined, sleek muscles and narrow hips. Nathan’s hole twitched under the inspection, and Sam ran one finger over the tight furl, smiling as Nathan shuddered.

  While Nathan might excel at taking control in bed, Sam knew exactly what to do to make him lose it. He thought he knew what Nathan needed.

  Not wasting any more of the precious time they had left, Sam spread Nathan’s cheeks and kissed him right above the clench of skin and then dragged his tongue along a wet, slow path downward. Nathan moaned and pushed back at the contact, and Sam flicked his tongue around his entrance, not lingering long enough for any real satisfaction. He blew softly, letting the warm air tease and tantalize. Then he placed a full kiss right where Nathan needed it.
A jolt ran through Nathan’s body, and Sam felt it everywhere they were connected. He nuzzled in deeper, probing with his tongue to open up the tight passage, breathing in the male scent he loved so much. Gradually Nathan started to respond. His muscles quivered and relaxed. Sam gave his ass a playful bite and then added a finger to stretch Nathan’s rim.

  The first time Sam had kissed him there, Nathan was unsure, but it hadn’t taken him long to give himself over to the sensation. Sam loved knowing he was the only one who had ever made Nathan come undone like that—the only one who had ever been inside him. And maybe Nathan wanted to remind him their relationship was a mutual, evolving dynamic. They belonged to each other.

  Soon Sam’s own need became overpowering. His cock pulsed between his thighs as he reached for the lube.

  “No. Just you.” Nathan looked over his shoulder. His eyes were dark with desire and another, more vulnerable emotion.

  “It might hurt,” Sam gritted through his teeth.

  “I’ll be fine.” Nathan arched his back in defiance. “Do it.”

  Sam instinctively obeyed the commanding authority of his tone. With fingers shaking from arousal and emotion, he urged Nathan’s hips up and guided his cock to the cleft of Nathan’s ass, which was still wet from his mouth. He nudged the tip of his dick against Nathan’s hole.

  It always seemed impossible, but Nathan opened to him, and he fit himself in, inching deeper. The first full slide was excruciating pleasure. Sam watched himself disappear and bottom out, and he ran his hands up and down Nathan’s lower back in a soothing motion. After so many sessions of orgasm delay and denial, he could come right that instant, simply from Nathan’s velvety muscles clenching around him.

  He started a slow rhythm, rocking into Nathan with each thrust. He angled for the best possible penetration, and when Nathan held on to the sheets with both hands and moaned loud and long, he knew he’d found it.