The Intimate Sex Lives of Famous People

by David Wallechinsky

  As a young man of 15 he was introduced to sex by his former governess, Mrs. Wyndham, after which he indulged an early taste for older women. Eventually his partners got younger and his sexuality more adventuresome, and then in his later years he tended to seek more settled relationships, usually one at a time in what might be called “serial monogamy.”

  Although he didn’t consider himself handsome (he once exclaimed, “Odd’s fish, I am an ugly fellow!” upon examining a quite realistic portrait), women found his tall, strong frame and dark sensual visage to be exciting. He loved his reputation as a sexual animal. The king was often called “Old Rowley,” after a famous stallion, well endowed and in great demand as a stud. While passing through the halls of his palace one day, Charles heard a young woman singing a satirical ballad entitled “Old Rowley, the King.” He immediately knocked on the door of her apartment, and when she asked who was there he replied, “Old Rowley himself, madam.” According to the wit and poet John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester: “Nor are his high Desires above his Strength; / His sceptre and his p—k are of a length, / And she that plays with one may sway the other….”

  SEX PARTNERS: Nell Gwyn’s rise to fortune was a storybook affair. Her father was an inveterate ne’er-do-well who breathed his last in debtors’ prison. Her mother was an alcoholic, whose contribution to her daughter’s future was to get her a job as a barmaid in her bawdy house, and who eventually died brandy-besotted and ditch-drowned. Sweet, saucy Nell became one of the first English-speaking actresses in history (since before that only preadolescent boys had played women’s roles) and therefore one of the first to use her sprightly antics on the stage to catch the eye, and other more private parts, of a king. Her king was Charles II, although she called him her “Charles the Third” because she had already had two lovers named Charles before him. She provided the perfect mingling of sugar and sauce to the sensual banquet that Charles devoured. Witty, playful, coarse, flashing sweet and vulgar in turn, stimulating Charles with mock coyness and then satisfying him with her own very real sexuality, she was a perfect mistress to the king. Another of her charms was her perfect calves and thighs, which she bared on stage—and Charles was a leg man.

  The common people loved Nell because she was one of them, a “girl of the London streets” made good. One afternoon as she rode along in the handsome carriage Charles had given her, she was suddenly the target of the jeers and curses of the unwashed rabble. Her carriage had been mistaken for that of Charles’ other mistress, the elegant, haughty, and strikingly beautiful Louise de Kéroualle, who, because she was French and Catholic, many suspected of being little better than a spy for King Louis. Nell poked her head out of the carriage window, smiled winningly, and cried out: “Pray good people, be civil! I am the Protestant whore!” The people were delighted. It also pleased the king and the people that Nell did not care to enter into politics. As an anonymous poet of the period put it: Hard by Pall Mall lives a wench call’d Nell;

  King Charles the Second he kept her.

  She hath got a trick to handle his prick

  But never lays hands on his sceptre.

  All matters of state from her soul she does hate,

  And leave to the politic bitches.

  The whore’s in the right, for ‘tis her delight,

  To be scratching just where it itches.

  Charles reveled in the contrast between the saucy Nell and the cultured Louise. He also enjoyed the contrast between two of his other playmates, the shy, demure, virginal Frances Stuart, who apparently never gave in to Charles although she was much pursued, and the rapacious, voluptuous Barbara Palmer (also known as Lady Castlemayne), of whom diarist Samuel Pepys wrote: “My Lady Castlemayne rules him, who hath all the tricks of Aretino [a 15th- and 16th-century pornographer] that are to be practised to give pleasure—in which he is too able, having a large—; but that which is the unhappiness is that, as the Italian proverb says, ‘A man with an erection is in no need of advice.”’ Pepys was more than a little jealous.

  The unattainability of Lady Castlemayne’s opposite—the virginal Frances—was mirrored to some extent in his bittersweet relationship with his sister, Henrietta Anne. Fourteen years his junior, she was a frail, beautiful woman with an exceptionally kind and loving nature. Shortly before Charles’ coronation she married Philippe, Duc d’Orléans, a petty and spiteful man who was jealous of his wife’s natural charm and well known for his interest in members of his own sex. Forced to look elsewhere for understanding and affection, she turned to Charles and served as his intermediary, or “private channel,” to her brother-in-law, King Louis XIV. When Henrietta Anne died at age 26, the last words she whispered were, “I have loved him [Charles] better than life itself and now my only regret in dying is to be leaving him.” On learning of her death, Charles became ill with grief and suffered an unprecedented physical collapse.

  The rest of Charles’ partners fall into two categories, those such as Moll Davis and Catherine Pegge whom he publicly acknowledged and by whom he had a dozen children, and the numerous passions of the moment by whom he fathered many unacknowledged children. As the Duke of Buckingham put it, a king is supposed to be the father of his people, and Charles certainly was father to a good many of them.

  HIS THOUGHTS: “I never interfere with the souls of women but only with their bodies when they are civil enough to accept my attentions.”

  —R.W.S.

  The Sexual Politician

  CLEOPATRA (69-30 B.C)

  HER FAME: The last queen of Egypt, Cleopatra has come to be identified with decadence, cunning, and exotic beauty. For 30 years she was a dominant figure in Mediterranean affairs of state, using her personal attractions to further her political ambitions.

  HER PERSON: Cleopatra was a Macedonian Greek descended from Ptolemy, one of Alexander the Great’s generals, who ruled Egypt upon Alexander’s death. An intellectual by nature, she was the first member of the royal family who bothered to learn the Egyptian language, and she reportedly was fluent in many other tongues. She was educated in Hellenistic as well as Egyptian traditions, and was considered culturally superior to some of the greatest statesmen of Rome. With a long hooked nose and a large mouth, Cleopatra was not especially beautiful, but her body was slender and well proportioned and she was a master of the cosmetic arts. She was an enchantress by virtue of her mannerisms, movements, and moods, and it was said that the sweetness of her melodic voice resembled the sound of a lyre.

  SEX LIFE: Historians have recorded that Cleopatra staged weeks of nightly orgies, at which those in attendance engaged in various forms of debauchery. The lascivious atmosphere of her court during her love affair with Roman leader Mark Antony showed how she played to his notorious taste for obscene jokes and sexually provocative conversation. For his entertainment she kept a performer of erotic dances at court. Cleopatra and Antony visited the pleasure resorts outside of Alexandria, and they formed a dining club, the Inimitables, where guests participated in lewd theatricals. One Roman guest played Glaucus the sea god, dancing and crawling on his knees, his naked body painted blue. The orgies led to a rash of scandals about Cleopatra’s personal sex life. Rumors spread that she promiscuously indulged in fellatio; some Greeks called her Meriochane, which means “she who gapes wide for 10,000 men.” In one account she was supposed to have fellated 100 Roman noblemen in a single night. The idea that Cleopatra was a harlot was developed by her enemies, one of whom, King Herod of Judea, claimed that she attempted to seduce him. His assertion is probably false, because Cleopatra’s principal aim was to keep in the good graces of her lover, Antony, a formidable political ally.

  SEX PARTNERS: In accordance with the Egyptian custom of marriage between royal siblings, Cleopatra was married to two younger brothers: first to Ptolemy XIII in 51 B.C., when she was 18, and shortly after his death in 47 B.C. to the 12-year-old Ptolemy XIV. There was no physical consummation of these marriages, which were arranged only because a male co-ruler was necessary for her to be queen. />
  Although some sources maintain that Cleopatra began her sex life at the age of 12, it is entirely possible that she took her first lover nine years later, choosing the 52-year-old dictator of Rome, Julius Caesar. Fleeing her country amidst a power struggle with her brothers and sisters, the 21-year-old queen presented herself to Caesar at his palace in Alexandria, smuggled past guards in a carpet or a roll of bedding. She quickly captivated the notorious womanizer and their love affair began, thus ensuring her political position. Even though he was already married, an Egyptian marriage possibly took place between Caesar and Cleopatra, and he soon moved her and their son, Caesarion, to Rome, installing them in one of his homes. He publicly proclaimed her influence over him by placing a statue of her in a temple dedicated to Venus, thus arousing Rome’s anger by deifying a foreigner. Because Caesar had no legitimate son, the possibility of an Egyptian successor caused much resentment toward the queen, and she was often referred to as a whore in the bawdy songs sung by Caesar’s soldiers.

  Upon Caesar’s murder by his political adversaries, Cleopatra returned to Egypt, where she learned of the emergence of a new Roman leader. Ruggedly handsome, with a muscular build, broad forehead, and aquiline nose, Mark Antony, like Caesar, had a weakness for the opposite sex. Determined to seduce him, Cleopatra sailed to Tarsus in an opulent barge with purple sails, silver oars, and a poop deck of gold. The music of lutes and flutes announced the arrival of the queen, who was dressed as Venus and surrounded by attendants dressed as cupids and the Graces. For several days she staged elaborate banquets and bestowed expensive gifts upon the somewhat unsophisticated soldier-statesman and his officers. By the time a power struggle with Caesar’s nephew, Octavian, forced Antony back to Rome, she had conceived twins by him. Several years later he left his new wife, Octavia—sister of Octavian—and returned to Cleopatra’s side. The rupture in his relations with Octavian led to two years of war, which culminated in Antony’s and Cleopatra’s defeat at Actium.

  After Octavian’s forces reached Egypt, Cleopatra fled to her mausoleum, barricading herself inside with three attendants. Antony received a report that she had committed suicide, and in his grief he stabbed himself. Mortally wounded, he was informed that she was still alive and was transported to her mausoleum, where he died in her arms. Cleopatra was soon captured by Octavian, and for once her seductive powers proved unsuccessful. She took her own life upon learning that she was to be paraded as a captive in the streets of Rome upon Octavian’s triumphant return.

  —L.A.B.

  The Royal Rake

  EDWARD VII (Nov. 9, 1841-May 6, 1910)

  HIS FAME: Albert Edward, who ascended to the throne in 1901, ruled Great Britain as one of its most popular kings. As Edward VII, his personal style of diplomacy helped gain acceptance of the Entente Cordiale, an agreement between Great Britain and France for closer diplomatic cooperation, and earned him the nickname “Edward the Peacemaker.”

  HIS PERSON: The eldest son of Queen Victoria and Prince Consort Albert, “Bertie,” as Edward was called, had a bleak and lonely childhood. Hoping to turn him into a paragon of virtue, his parents separated him from other children. Victoria wanted her son to grow up as good as her beloved Albert, in spite of the fact that she believed that no one could be “so great, so good, so faultless” as the prince consort. Bertie set about to prove that she was right. He completely rebelled against his parents’ strict moral code. He turned a deaf ear to his tutors’ lectures on morality and ignored his father’s memoranda on propriety. The pursuit of pleasure in all its forms became his life’s goal. He was addicted to cigars before he turned 20. A man of gargantuan appetite, he ate several meals a day, sometimes consuming as many as 12 courses in a sitting. He paid so much attention to clothes—he was a stickler for proper attire down to the last button—that even tea was a full-dress affair.

  King Edward and Queen Alexandra

  Bertie occupied himself with “bachelor outings” (even after his marriage to Danish Princess Alexandra) which lasted several months of every year and consisted of visits to Paris, Bad Homburg, and the Riviera, or hunting and shooting at his country estates. He was usually surrounded by his aristocratic friends of the “Marlborough House set,” forerunners of the modern jet set, who joined him for gambling at baccarat parties or at the horse races at Ascot or Epsom. Bertie’s own horses won the Derby three times.

  Because of Edward’s frivolous ways, Victoria would not allow him to assume any governmental responsibilities. He was the official host and tour guide for visiting dignitaries, and Victoria’s stand-in at public ceremonies. When his “eternal mother” finally died in 1901, he dropped the name Albert and the following year was crowned Edward VII. He was 60 years old.

  SEX LIFE: Bertie became king 40 years after his father had died. It was Bertie, Victoria believed, who had caused her dear husband’s death. While serving with the British army in Ireland, 19-year-old Bertie lost his virginity when fellow officers smuggled actress Nellie Clifden into his bed. Albert passed away soon after hearing of his son’s “fall into sin.” It was decided that Bertie should marry immediately to remove him from further temptation.

  Victoria chose Princess Alexandra as her son’s bride, and he accepted the selection. The beautiful teenage princess and the stocky, handsome Prince of Wales were married in 1863. Alexandra bore five children over the next six years, and with marriage as a “cover” Bertie played the field for over 40 years. In spite of her husband’s wanderings, Alix—as Alexandra was called by friends and family—always believed he loved her best and said that “if he was a cowboy I should love him just the same.” In a sense he was a cowboy; he put his brand on women all across Europe. As prince and king, he took frequent trips to German spas, where he indulged himself with steam baths, high colonic enemas, and sex. His favorite watering holes were in Paris. French police recorded Edward’s comings and goings at hotels and intimate restaurants where he enjoyed the company of actresses, courtesans, and noblewomen. At one Parisian dinner, a huge covered serving tray was set before the prince. When the lid was lifted, Bertie happily discovered he had been presented with the infamous and beautiful Cora Pearl, clad only in a sprig of parsley and a string of pearls. Giulia Barucci, who called herself the “world’s greatest whore,” let her gown slide to the floor when she first met Bertie. He was pleased, and when her escort upbraided her she replied that she had only “showed him the best I have—and for free.” He dallied with stage star Hortense Schneider, Moulin Rouge cancan dancer Louise Weber, known as La Goulue (“The Greedy One”), actress Sarah Bernhardt, and courtesan La Belle Otero.

  Not all of the king’s lovers were notables. He often cavorted at Le Chabanais, a Parisian brothel, where the chair upon which he sat with his lady of the evening became a conversation piece for the establishment’s proprietor. It was said that King Edward, when he was a bit too rotund to enjoy the pleasures of the bed, would lounge in this chair and be fellated by a young woman. In spite of Bertie’s tendency to stoutness, he was by all accounts a very virile man. He had great sexual stamina and staying power. No woman ever gave him poor marks; he was a “very perfect, gentle lover,” said his mistress Daisy Brooke, Countess of Warwick.

  According to the Duke of Cambridge, in his later years Bertie had a special liking for young girls. Three young women he frolicked with became known as “H.R.H.’s virgin band.” However, his favorites by far were married beauties. In general, their husbands were from his inner circle of friends and considered it their duty to be cuckolded by Bertie. His schedule usually consisted of visiting a woman’s home in the afternoon while her husband was away, joining his regular mistress in the evening, and often meeting his latest actress friend later in the night. The Marlborough House set was usually sufficiently discreet, but the arrangement caused a nasty scandal at least once. When Lady Harriet Mordaunt had a child that was born blind, she believed that this was God’s curse and confessed to her husband that she had “done very wrong … with the Prince of Wales a
nd others, often and in open day.” Bertie was forced to swear in court that he had not been the woman’s lover.

  Bertie’s lengthy affair with professional model Lillie Langtry was severely chilled when the scandal sheets started rumors that her husband was about to divorce her and name the Prince of Wales as corespondent. His five-year liaison with the “Jersey Lily” began in 1877, and it was a very special one. She was independent, never subservient, and different from Alix in that she was punctual. (Because Alexandra was always late, Bertie, who was a fanatic about punctuality, kept the royal clocks set half an hour fast.) Even Alix became fond of Lillie and spoke of her in glowing terms. The princess seldom became jealous of her husband’s other women, knowing that they posed no threat to her marriage, but she didn’t take too kindly to an American actress named Miss Chamberlain, whom she disparaged as “Miss Chamberpots.”

  In the late 1880s Bertie fell deeply in love with Daisy Brooke, the Countess of Warwick, a seductive beauty 20 years younger than he. Their relationship worried Alexandra more than any of her husband’s other dalliances. Bertie and Daisy exchanged rings, and he addressed her as his “little Daisy wife.” He became involved with her when she went to him for help in a personal matter, her lover of the moment having had the nerve to make his own wife pregnant. Daisy was a volatile woman who couldn’t stand such “infidelity,” but that didn’t prevent her from taking the Prince of Wales into her own bed. Their affair lasted almost seven years, but he began to see less of her when, in spite of her wealth and class standing, she lectured him on the economic exploitation of the lower classes.