Dark and Deadly: Eight Bad Boys of Paranormal Romance

by Ashley Jennifer

  No. After all, he'd seen the cat transform from an ugly statue to a scruffy and enraged live animal. The potion worked. It was just something in the proportion that was off. Or at least, that was what he had to tell himself, because any other result was unacceptable.

  He patted Mac's stone arm. “We are going to fix this, buddy. You can count on it.”

  Then, feeling like a complete idiot for talking to a statue, he turned to follow Rose inside. A flicker of movement at the edge of the bush where he'd seen the lizard chicken caught his eye, and he whirled around, raising his gun at the same time.

  “Oh no you don't, you ugly little flying rat,” he said. “Not this time. I've brought the true death to hundreds of vampires. You can bet I'm not going to let a rodent get the better of me.”

  He rolled his eyes and muttered a string of oaths in Spanish. First he was talking to a statue, and now he was talking to a lizard. Maybe they had special padded rooms for P-Ops agents who went insane on the job.

  The basilisk peeked its head out again, and Alejandro pulled the trigger. But just as he fired, a hair-raising scream startled him enough that he flinched and missed his target altogether. The rodent ran back behind the bushes, squawking like mad, and Alejandro whipped his head around to find who had ruined his aim with that gut-wrenching scream.

  A blond teenager who looked a lot like Rose was running across the garden path toward him, her hands held up, palms forward, as if to stop him.

  “Don't you dare kill him,” she shouted. “What kind of a monster are you? A big man like you picking on a defenseless animal. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

  Her lips moved as if she were chanting, but he couldn't hear the words. A moment later, a bright yellow blob of energy, about the size of Alejandro's closed fist, came hurtling toward him. He jumped to one side, and it should have missed him altogether, but the energy ball changed direction midflight and smacked him in the arm.

  It felt like a mild shock, but these were witches. Who knew what they could do with their powers? He looked down at his arm, expecting to see a hole burned through it, but found nothing more than a small scorch mark on his sleeve.

  The door to Rose's kitchen banged open behind him.

  “Buttercup Astrid Cardinal! How many times have I told you not to attack the guests?”

  Alejandro turned his head to see Rose standing, hands on hips, on the small patio outside her back door.

  “Buttercup? Is she related to you, Rose? Because I think I'm going to have to arrest her for assaulting a federal officer.” He aimed a stern look at Buttercup, who was patently unimpressed.

  “It's Astrid,” she said defiantly. “And you can't arrest me for protecting the wildlife on my own property.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You also attacked a P-Ops agent on your own property. P-Ops is a division of the FBI, and both organizations frown on magical attacks on their agents.”

  Rose walked up beside him and put a hand on his arm. “She didn't mean it; she's only fifteen, and she gets emotional about animal rights. She's been a vegetarian since she was six. Please don't arrest her.”

  The worry that was apparent in Rose’s eyes sent a twinge of guilt through Alejandro. For some reason, he wanted to protect this woman, not add to her stress.

  “I'm not going to arrest her, but she might not be as lucky with someone else in law enforcement. I just wanted to warn her about that.” He finally allowed the smile he'd been suppressing to show on his face. “I haven't sunk so low as to start arresting children.”

  Rose blinked, and a hint of pink touched her cheeks. “I ... thank you. I'll have another talk with her about shooting energy balls at strangers.”

  He laughed -- he couldn't help it. “You mean it's okay for her to shoot energy balls at friends? Family?”

  Rose grinned back at him, and she shook her head. “You'd be surprised.”

  Buttercup Astrid marched up to them, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. “Are you going to stand around and flirt with the hot guy who tried to incinerate a helpless living creature in our garden?”

  Rose spun around to face her sister and pointed an accusing finger first at Buttercup and then at Mac. “No, I'm not -- he's not -- forget it. What I'm trying to do, in case you haven't noticed, is restore the man that your helpless living creature turned into garden statuary.”

  The irate teenager finally noticed the statue of Mac, and her mouth fell open. “Oh, boy, we're in trouble now.”

  “That's what I'm afraid of,” Alejandro muttered. He turned to Rose and asked the question, even though he was afraid to hear the answer.

  “Are you going to be able to fix this or not?”

  “What have you done now? I can't leave you girls alone for five minutes.” The woman rushing down the garden path toward them looked a little like Alejandro's village wise woman. She had the same long white hair, the same flowing skirts, and the same expression of serene wisdom on her face, although it was apparent that her serenity had been shaken a little by the sight of the Mac-shaped statue in the garden.

  Rose threw her hands in the air. “Mom, I'm not six years old anymore. I just had to stop Agent Vasquez from arresting Astrid, after she tried to incinerate him with one of her defective energy balls, after he tried to shoot the basilisk, after my potion didn't work on his partner. There, are you satisfied? Simple explanation.”

  Rose's mother blinked, started to speak, and then blinked again.

  “Concise, but not exactly simple,” Alejandro said. He extended his hand to Rose's mother. “Agent Alejandro Vasquez, ma'am. The statue is my partner Mac. One of the lizards -- basilisks got him, and Rose tells me she can bring him back.”

  “Sue Cardinal,” she replied, looking a little dazed. “I still have no idea what's going on, but I'm used to that after more than twenty years with daughters.”

  She turned to study Mac. “What have you done so far, Rose?”

  Rose bit her lip. “Mom, the potion seems to be losing its potency. It took way too long to bring Bob back--”

  “Bob? They got your cat? Is he okay?” This from Astrid, of course, who was far more concerned about the cat than about Alejandro's partner. Mac wasn't a helpless living creature in her eyes, after all.

  Rose shot a distracted glance at her sister. “Yes, Bob is fine. But the potion took longer to work than it should, and then I used nine vials on agent Henson, and nothing at all happened.”

  Sue's eyes narrowed, and Alejandro could all but see her brain working.

  “How old is that potion? If you made it more than three days ago, it loses its potency. Any more than four days and it loses almost all viability,” Sue said.

  Rose heaved a sigh of relief. “It has been almost four days. That's the problem, then. I can brew a new batch tonight, and we’ll have Mac back to himself tomorrow morning.”

  Alejandro pinned first one, then the other, of them with his most serious P-Ops agent stare. “Can you guarantee it? Because if not, I have to report this to my field office right now. Dios, I should report it anyway, but I don't want this on Mac's record, after the--”

  He clenched his jaw against letting any more details spill out. “Just tell me that you can fix this. By tomorrow morning.”

  Sue airily waved a hand in air. “Of course she can fix it. Isn't she the most powerful Cardinal witch to come along in generations? There is nothing to worry about at all, Alejandro. What a lovely name, by the way. Now, what are your dinner plans?”

  She beamed at him as if he were an old family friend, and made a move-along gesture to Rose. “Why don't you go change into something nice for dinner, Marigold? I’m sure the nice agent likes to see a woman in a lovely dress.”

  Alejandro grinned. Apparently meddling mothers were the same everywhere. Rose shot a glare at him that should have blistered his eyeballs, and he quit smiling, fast.

  Rose gritted her teeth. “I told you not to call me that, Mother, and why would we care what his preferences are in women�
�s clothing?”

  “I don't know why you'd want to invite him to dinner anyway,” Buttercup, or Astrid, or whatever the hell her name was, interjected. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Alejandro. “He probably wants to shoot Bambi and eat him for dinner. Animal murderer.”

  “Who is Bambi and why would I want to shoot him?” Alejandro shook his head, feeling an ache starting to pound inside his skull. “Are all witches so confusing?”

  Buttercup sneered at him. “Bigot.”

  Before Alejandro could respond, Sue put her hands on her hips and pointed back down the path the way she’d come.

  “Go back to the house right this instant, young lady. I'll deal with you later.”

  Rose threw her hands in the air. “I've had enough of this. I have a great deal of potion to cook, so I’d better get started.”

  An extremely loud chiming sound pealed out from the vicinity of the front of Rose's house just then, and Alejandro looked at Rose. “What is that?”

  “Oh, no, I forgot about Connor. He's coming over to pick up his conversation potion,” Rose said, closing her eyes for a moment. “What else can I possibly have to deal with today?”

  “At least my mother isn’t here,” Sue said, smiling. “She’d drive us all nuts, with her criticisms and suggestions about the basilisk problem.”

  “Right. We know nothing about interfering mothers,” Rose muttered, rolling her eyes, and Alejandro had to cough to cover a laugh.

  Buttercup, instead of heading back toward her house, had been edging toward Rose's kitchen door as they talked. When Rose turned around and caught her at it, the girl blushed bright pink.

  “You don't get to be the only Cardinal witch who talks to hunky guys, Rose,” she said defiantly. “Connor’s really cute, and I know he likes me.”

  “Connor is twenty-two and far too old for you,” Rose said sternly. “Don't even think about--”

  Buttercup ignored her sister and flew through the door into the house. Rose, Sue, and Alejandro followed her, but they all froze for a moment when Buttercup started shrieking. Alejandro drew his gun, but Rose put her hand on his arm again. A bolt of electricity seared through him just from that simple touch, but he didn’t let it show in his face. It had to be a spell. No way could he be so affected by a woman he didn’t even know.

  “That was a happy shriek, not a danger shriek,” Rose said wearily. Apparently she didn't realize what simple proximity was doing to his resolve not to pick her up and kiss her.

  “You're absolutely beautiful,” he blurted out, unable to help himself and shocked again at his lack of control around this gorgeous witch with the crazy family.

  Sue shot him a speculative grin, and Rose’s lips parted and her eyes widened, but before either one of them could say anything, Buttercup came bouncing back out the door, leading a woman who had to be at least a hundred and seventy years old.

  Rose gasped, Sue made an odd growling noise, and the old woman flashed an enormous smile full of the whitest, squarest teeth Alejandro had ever seen.

  Buttercup smiled happily and put her arm around the old woman. “Isn't it awesome? Granny’s here to save the day.”

  Rose sighed and glanced up Alejandro. “Whether we want her to or not.”

  CHAPTER 6

  Rose wanted nothing more than to spend some quality alone time with the fascinating man who was playing havoc with her nerves and her equilibrium. But of course that wasn’t in the cards, tarot or otherwise. Instead of the chance to get up close and personal with Alejandro, who was all coppery skin, long, lean muscles, and wickedly seductive eyes and mouth, she got to look forward to an evening of her grandmother’s observations on everything Rose was doing wrong in her life.

  Oh. Yay.

  Granny perched on the edge of a kitchen chair and focused her bright-eyed stare in Alejandro’s general vicinity. She was so nearsighted she often tripped over furniture in her own house, but she was too vain for the thick trifocal glasses she really needed.

  “Glasses, Mom,” Sue said gently. “You need to remember your glasses.”

  “Did you pay the cabdriver yet, Granny?” Rose asked, already looking for her purse.

  “I think I left my glasses at home, Sue, so don’t fuss,” Granny said, shooing her daughter away. “And Rose, put your money away. I don’t need you to pay anybody.”

  “You paid for your own cab? Wow, Granny,” Astrid said, grinning. “Way to go!”

  Granny winked at her. “Now don’t get fresh with me, Buttercup Astrid Cardinal. I was paying for cabs and stirring spells when you weren’t even a gleam in your Mom’s eye.”

  “We told you that we’re happy to drive over and get you anytime, Mom,” Sue said, filling the kettle for tea.

  “No need,” Granny said, flashing her huge denture-filled smile. “I bought a car.”

  Sue dropped the tea kettle, Astrid high-fived Granny, and Rose stumbled backwards in shocked disbelief, slamming into all those hard muscles she’d been drooling over earlier.

  Alejandro, who’d moved behind her at some point after they’d entered the kitchen, caught her with strong hands on her hips.

  “I take it that it is a bad idea for your abuelita to drive?” he murmured.

  Rose went weak in the knees when his breath feathered across her sensitive ear, and she completely forgot what they’d been talking about.

  “Um, what?”

  The low, rich sound of his chuckle touched places inside her that had no business being touched, especially by an official agent of the P-Ops division of the federal government. She caught her breath before she could moan, or rub her bottom against him, or do any of the fifty other wanton things that her wicked brain was suggesting.

  The doorbell rang again, and Rose escaped to answer it before she could do something stupid like start licking the nice federal agent on the neck.

  “I bet he tastes as good as he smells,” she muttered darkly, throwing her front door open.

  The tall, slender young guy who stood there blinked at her. “Um, excuse me?”

  “Nothing, Connor. Come on in. Your potion is ready; I just have to bottle it. It’s been a busy day.” She led him through the house, wincing at the thought of poor Connor having to face both Astrid and Granny at the same time.

  “Ah, is Petunia around?”

  She glanced back at him and sighed when she saw that his cheeks had turned pink. Yet another conquest Petunia wouldn’t even realize she’d made. The middle Cardinal girl was a scholar, first, last, and always, and spent most of her time immersed in the world of ancient books and scrolls. Petunia’s picture was probably in the witches’ encyclopedia next to the phrase “absent-minded,” but she collected admirers like their mom collected butterflies.

  Rose sighed. She’d never envied Pet before, but when Alejandro had stepped into her house, Rose had suddenly felt a little bit insecure.

  “Right. And I’m not going to let a man do that to me, no matter how pretty he is,” she vowed.

  “Um, who’s pretty?” Connor sounded totally confused, and Rose didn’t blame him.

  “Sorry. Just thinking out loud,” she said breezily, leading him into her crowded kitchen.

  “Everybody, you know Connor,” she said, waving a hand.

  Alejandro folded his arms across his deliciously muscled chest and gave the poor kid a narrow-eyed look. “Connor who?”

  “Um, ah,” Connor stammered.

  Rose pointed at Alejandro. “You. Behave. You don’t get to interrogate my guests, especially when they have nothing to do with basilisks.”

  Connor made an odd strangled sound. “Basilisks? You—um—do I even want to know?”

  Astrid sidled up next to him and slid her arm through his. “Don’t worry about it, Hotness. We’ve got it under control. Well, except for the stone guy in the backyard, but he’s only a federal agent, so he doesn’t even count.”

  The poor boy’s eyes got so big Rose could see the whites all the way around. “The what? I me
an, the who?”

  “Heh. The basilisk got him? I guess that means he’s rock hard,” Granny said, belting out a laugh that sounded way too much like a cackle for Rose’s liking.

  Seriously. Witches and cackling? No. Just no.

  Alejandro swept the room with his “I’m a cop and I really want to arrest everybody” gaze, and Rose wondered why it gave her shivers in places that had no business shivering.

  “I don’t even like alpha males,” she whispered, whirling around to face the stove and her pot of Connor’s conversation potion.

  “Ha,” Sue said, crowding into Rose at the stove. “That’s what I said when I met your father and next thing I knew, I was pregnant with you.”

  “Mom,” Rose hissed, more than a little freaked out. “I so don’t want to hear about your sex life.”

  “She was a wild one,” Granny said, suddenly able to hear perfectly for someone who spent a lot of her time yelling “what?” at everyone around her. “I was glad your dad married her before she got knocked up by some wandering poltergeist.”

  “Granny!” Astrid shrieked, covering her face with one hand but peeking up at Connor through her fingers and looking intrigued. “Poltergeists can have sex?”

  Connor stared wildly around, probably looking for the best way to make a break for it.

  Alejandro came down with a sudden coughing fit, and Rose glared at him, realizing perfectly well that he was trying not to laugh his ass off at her crazy family.

  “You are never going to be invited over here again if you don’t behave,” Rose told Granny sternly, trying desperately to take charge of the situation.

  “Ha! You need a hot man yourself to take the edge of that crankiness,” Granny retorted.

  Rose’s gaze involuntarily went to Alejandro, and his eyes darkened with a surge of heat that nearly seared her clothes off. She raised her chin and tried to pretend her knees hadn’t just gone shaky.

  “Okay, that’s enough. Everybody out,” Sue ordered, in full-on Mom—or drill sergeant--mode. “Mom, you and Astrid go sit on the couch. Connor, go with them. We’ll bottle up this potion and bring it right out to you. It’s on the house this time. Alejandro, go—go outside and check on your partner.”