It seemed wide as a house when she’d wriggled through it as a child.
Kara glanced down at her big breasts, the gentle slope of her belly and ruefully touched her bottom.
Damn.
She hated tight spaces, the darkness clawing at her, making her want to shriek and shriek. If she got stuck, she’d remain down here until turning into a ghost, only the bones of her dead mother for company.
But she thought of the despair in her brother’s face as he’d stared at the sheaf of bills piled on his desk, and how hard he’d worked to make a new home for them.
She thought of the determination on Ryder’s face and how he’d fight to the death to keep her. Was it love? It didn’t matter, now.
“Suck it in, Mitchell,” she said aloud. “No more excuses.”
Drawing in a deep breath, she turned sideways to squeeze into the slit.
And stumbled inward, nearly falling into the tunnel. Gripping the flashlight, she righted herself and shone the beam into the gloom, down a tunnel wide enough to admit three Lupines walking shoulder-to-shoulder.
“I’ll be damned,” she murmured. Someone, her father perhaps, had changed the lighting to make the access way seem much narrower.
Directing the powerful flashlight into the thick darkness, Kara walked on stony ground, her feet splashing puddles as water dripped down the rock walls. Stale, cold air filled her lungs, but the mine was ventilated and did not contain dangerous gases.
The tunnel narrowed until she was forced to walk hunched over, her lungs bellowing as she fought her panic. Dim light showed ahead.
The Shadow Forest entrance.
About 100 yards from that entrance, the tunnel widened and another shaft appeared to her right. She turned, following it a short distance until reaching a thickset door with a tarnished keyhole.
Kara unlocked the door with the golden key and pushed it open, the hinges squealing in protest. Heart beating fast, she shone the flashlight over the small, secret chamber.
Concrete lined the walls and floor, like a cold, gray prison cell. No electricity here. Instead, two oil lamps rested on a shelf.
She lit both, yellow light flooding the small chamber.
The room contained a wooden trunk resembling a pirate’s chest. Please, oh please, she thought. Setting down her flashlight, she knelt before the trunk, struggling to lift the heavy lid and finally flung it open.
Inside the trunk was a large plastic crate. Fingers trembling, she opened it.
Hope flared and died.
No shine of gold as she swept the flashlight over the contents. Nothing but stacks and stacks of old photos.
Her father’s promise of riches was a lie.
Tears filled her eyes, but she brushed them away with an angry fist.
Kara picked up a photo. This time the tears fell freely.
When her mother died, Alastair had removed all evidence of her existence, as if it were too painful to bear. All the family photos had been destroyed. Kara hid a picture beneath her pillow to save it from his purging.
But he hadn’t destroyed them after all, only placed them here, in the trunk he’d said contained pure gold.
A smiling, dark-haired woman held a chubby baby in her arms, her waist encircled by a male with a goofy, happy grin. A young child sat on the ground before them, a look of impishness in his eyes.
Her parents with her siblings, Lara and Aiden.
Kara dropped the photo back into the storage bin. Who was this man? She combed through the photos and cards, desperate to find something, anything to prove there was good in the male she’d called father.
Photograph after photograph she laid upon the cool concrete floor. Kara spread them out, and saw her parent’s past unfurl. She picked up a picture of her father sitting on the steps of the lodge, one arm flung protectively around her mother.
The last photo in the bin featured the entire family. Seven-year-old Kara nestled against her mother’s side. Aiden was 13, his lanky body showing signs of the muscled Lupine he’d become. Lara, their elder sister, sat on the ground. A smiling Alastair stood behind them all, as if guarding his family.
He’d smiled in those days. And then their mother had died and he never smiled again.
A single tear splashed onto the yellowed photograph. She stroked her father’s image with a thumb.
“Why did you change?” she whispered. “I know you loved her with all your heart, but couldn’t you love us too after she died?”
The darkness seemed to press against her from all sides until it suffocated. Kara returned all the pictures to the bin, closed it and then slammed the lid shut. She wiped away her tears. Enough, she told herself. There were no answers here to Alastair’s rejection of his family. No gold, either.
Minutes later, she came to the tunnel’s end. Kara emerged, blackberry brambles scraping her hands and face as she fought past the foliage hiding the entrance.
She brushed dirt off her jeans and stood, her legs wobbling.
Dense trees surrounded her. The forest was quiet. Kara hid the flashlight and picked her way through the forest to a clearing on the ridge. Climbing down the rugged trail to the meadow, disappointment bitter in her mouth, she headed for the lodge. How was she supposed to stop a pack war with no money?
Four rugged cowboys galloped across the meadow, and pulled to a stop mere feet away from where she stood. They sat tall in the saddle, sunshine beating down upon their broad shoulders and their white Stetsons. All of them were muscled and handsome. And dead serious as they stared at her. One of them whistled a signal. A fifth horseman raced across the meadow on a sleek black stallion, stopping on a dime before them. Dressed in blue chambray and faded jeans, Ryder wore a black Stetson. Leather creaked as he leaned over the saddle, concern sharpening his features.
“You’re hurt.”
Blood stained her fingers after she touched the scratches on her face. “It’s nothing. They’ll heal soon.”
“You lost, Kara?”
He must have realized she was gone from her room, and sent his men to search for her. “Just checking out the old homestead.”
“Hmm. If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were playing hide and seek. Your sire hid the gold and now you seek.”
“I don’t play games.” The treasure was supposed to save them all. What a joke.
“Too bad,” he said softly. “Because they can be quite enjoyable. Such as the chase. I’ll give you a ten minute start to get your sweet little ass back to the lodge before I catch you.”
Lifting her chin, she locked her gaze to his. “And if you catch me?”
“Then I get to play whatever game I want with you.” A gleam lit his eyes.
Defiance filled her. “Fine.”
“Naked.”
Delicious anticipation tightened her belly. Catch me first, wolf. Kara shifted into her wolf form, startling his mount. With a big wolfish grin, she sped off toward the lodge.
Only to hear a long, low howl behind her.
Running away triggered his Lupine instinct to chase. But she was no scared rabbit. Racing across the meadow, relishing the wind rippling across her fur and the taste of freedom, she gave a joyous yip. Behind her, she heard Ryder hot on her heels. Deliberately she slowed, allowing him to catch her once they’d left the other cowboys out of sight.
He leapt.
The big male wrestled her to the ground. As they shifted back into their Skin forms, Ryder flipped her over onto her back, straddled her and pinned her wrists.
Both of them were naked.
She sensed the hot blood thrumming through his body, the flood of male hormones preparing him to mate. His cock lengthened and thickened.
“I win,” he said softly.
“I let you.”
Firm muscles layered the hard body lying on top of her. Alight with fierce desire, his brilliant blue gaze burned into her.
Ryder gave a small, mysterious smile. It was wicked and victorious and yet she knew this male would not
hurt her.
Oh, he’d tease and taunt her, racing with her in wolfskin through green meadows or spending countless hours in blissful lovemaking...
A tantalizing scent of spices and male wound around her and flicked between her legs like the slow stroke of a finger. Arousal spiked, making her nipples grow taut. The space between her legs grew wet. Kara watched his expression grow intent with sexual awareness.
He climbed off, his thick erection jutting up from his groin. “Later, sweeting. In the privacy of my bedroom, where you deserve to be loved. Not like this, in the open on the hard ground. I want our first time to be gentle and loving.”
Kara melted at his tender declaration.
As they clothed themselves through magick, she gazed around the field. Memories rushed back, happy ones mixed with bitter regret. “I remember this place. My father used to take us for picnics here. My mother would snap out a blanket and he’d raid the basket, always gnawing on a chicken leg and she’d slap his hand, playfully, telling him to wait.”
The sadness intensified as she recalled the spark in her mother’s eyes, how Alastair had kissed her deeply, with love.
“Lara would take Aiden and me to play by the river for a long while. Only later did I realize my parents were making love. I didn’t understand it then, but some part of me knew they were bonding, sharing special moments.” Her voice cracked. “He loved her so much. How can a male with that much love inside turn cruel and ruthless?”
Ryder touched her cheek, his gaze solemn. “By forgetting the most important rule. Take care of the pack at all costs. A leader must sometimes forgo his own interests in the interest of his people.”
They walked quietly back to the lodge. Kara climbed the staircase to her room, Ryder following close behind.
In the bedroom, she pushed a hand through the long fall of her hair, wishing for a few moments more of forgetting, of running free and wild. The worst part with her sire had been the uncertainty. Not knowing when her father’s mood would shift from reasonable to cruel and violent. Not knowing when something she said would bring a nod or a slap across her mouth. Not knowing when the thin ice beneath her feet would hold for another day or shatter, plunging her into the cold abyss.
“I left when things were at their worst. I feel like I abandoned the pack.”
“Hey.” Ryder gently clasped her upper arms, turning her toward him. “Remember the good times.”
“It’s hard when I have this….” She rubbed her ruined cheek. “Aiden took me and ran that night because he feared Dad would kill me for kissing you. He saved my life. I owe him everything. But what would have happened if we’d stayed? Could we have made a difference?”
The temperature dropped with the icy chill of his cold anger. “I should have broken Alastair’s neck to keep you here, where you belong. Damnit, I should have done something.”
“What could you do? You were locked up. And you and Aiden would have butted heads if he came into power. You don’t get along.”
“For your sake, I would have tried.”
She glanced up. “It wouldn’t suit you, Ryder. You’re the worst omega I’ve ever known. You’re too strong and stubborn to follow others. I feel so guilty for sneaking away in the middle of the night, but if I had stayed, it might have been worse. I saw the photo of my mom you left for me and I realize how much I look like her. It must have tormented him, seeing me alive each day, knowing his mate was gone. Every moment he saw me was a reminder of his immeasurable loss, another ripping open of the wounds my mother’s death inflicted on him. I made my father crazy.”
Two warm arms settled around her waist. Ryder pulled her against his hard, muscled body. “You didn’t make him crazy. Her death did. He must have loved her very, very much. And of course it hurts, knowing that he couldn’t overcome your mother’s loss enough to love you as well.”
Iron fingers tightened around her throat. “It makes me fear love. Because if that is love, destructive and abusing, I don’t want it. I’d rather stay hidden in my room for the rest of my life than cause someone else that much pain if my heart shattered like his did when my mother died.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
Turning from him, she hugged herself. “Please leave me now. I’d like to be alone.”
Ryder sighed. “Rest a while. I’ll be back soon to take you downstairs to eat. Tonight everyone’s dining on their own.”
As the door closed softly behind him, she finally surrendered to the tears forming in her eyes. But she cried, not for the father she’d known, but the male he could have been, who’d locked away his life and his love in a cold, dark place forever.
CHAPTER 7
After giving her a short break for privacy, Ryder came to fetch Kara. Determined to wipe away the sadness in her eyes, he didn’t know how to erase the painful memories. He only had instinct to guide him, and the depth of his feelings.
Kara accompanied him downstairs. Instead of heading for the large dining room, he hooked a right and went into the kitchen. She frowned.
“We’re eating here?”
“I haven’t planned a menu yet. Thought you’d like a treat first.” Ryder opened the pantry doors, gesturing to a wire shelf filled with plastic tubs of her favorite treat.
Her eyes widened. “Peanut butter?”
“Ever watch a wolf eat peanut butter?”
She laughed.
“I remembered how much you enjoyed it. So I cleaned out the store.”
Her smile transformed her entire face, lighting it like sunshine spilling upon a sparkling lake. The darkness inside him peeled back a layer.
“Why did you do it?”
Alpha Lupine males didn’t admit weakness. He must appear strong before the pack. But hell, Kara always had been his favorite weakness. And if it meant the pack thought he was vulnerable, so be it.
“Because I wanted to make you smile again like you once did. The memory of your smile kept me warm all those cold nights in the cell. If it meant buying every jar of peanut butter in Colorado to make you happy, I’d do it.”
Her expression softened. “Thanks Ryder. That means a lot to me.”
Ryder screwed open a jar, found a spoon. He dug into the peanut butter and handed her the spoon. “Taste.”
Kara closed her eyes, making a humming sound as those perfect and wet red lips closed over the spoon. She licked it. Slowly.
He stared, hot and hungry and feeling as lusty and out of control as a stripling Lupine male facing his first naked female.
“I don’t know what we should have for dinner. But this…” She smiled wider, opening her eyes. “Is dessert.”
Enough already. Ryder pulled her into his arms. Spoon and jar tumbled to the floor, bounced and rolled. He kissed her, his tongue tasting the peanut butter, sweetness and the flavor that was exquisitely Kara, the taste he’d dreamed about for years. The kiss turned desperate and pleading and burning. He gave her no time for thought, words or protest. He merely took and claimed because he must. If he did not…
I’d fucking die right now.
Never again was she leaving. He didn’t care if he had to fight every male in Aiden’s pack. He’d fight them all, one arm, hell, one paw tied behind his back simply to keep Kara here. If she walked out that door, part of him would crumble and wither. The pack would falter, too, for in some mystical way, Kara was the pack, the invisible umbilical cord that fed them purpose and strength. He was the head of the pack, but she was their heart.
When they both surfaced for air, panting heavily, he tugged her hand. “Come, meet your people.”
Panic replaced her passion-glazed, smoky look. “I can’t, Ryder. You can’t march me in there to meet all of them at once. They probably hate me for leaving like I did. Sneaking out like a thief.”
He caressed her wrist, circling it with his thumb. “They don’t hate you, sweeting. They miss you. They need you.”
Like I do, he almost confessed.
Kara did not answer. Instead
, she examined the nearest shelf, her slender fingers combing over the canned preservatives and jellies. She picked up a jar of honey and unscrewed it, sniffing.
“I remember growing up with the beehives on the ranch, taking the fresh honey from the comb. It tasted so good, so sweet. But there was always that risk when taking the sweetness, because I’d get stung. At first it seemed worth it for a few moments of pleasure. But the pleasure was fleeting and the hurt always lasted longer.”
She shook her head. “You say the pack needs me, but they’re like the bees in the hive. They function as a unit, and as Lupines, will destroy those who threaten their home. There’s no going back for me, Ryder. You represent the new life of the hive, and I’m the ghost of a painful past they won’t want to remember. We have no future together. Alastair was right.”
Touching her scarred cheek with a trembling hand, she looked so damn lost and sad, it kicked him in the guts.
“Even if Alastair hadn’t done this.” She dropped her hand and set down the honey jar. “Because the damage he did inside was much worse. You and I weren’t meant to be together. He said as much.”
Damn her sire. Damn him to hell. What had caused a once good, noble Lupine to turn into a mean-skinned bastard who’d ripped his daughter’s heart to shreds and killed all her hope?
Ryder gazed deep into her eyes, knowing what he must do. He only hoped it worked…
***
“The hell with what that crazy bastard said. Half the time he thought the sheep and cows were spying on us. You going to believe someone like that? Damn girl, I thought you had more sense than that.”
Temper rising, Kara stared at Ryder. “He was my father.”
“He was a fucked up alpha who must have been on something. Too much bad meat. And you’re still letting him run your life. I thought you were stronger than that.”
Ryder gripped her upper arms. “The Lupine I remember was a fighter. The Lupine I remember was the female who snuck me food and water, risking her own hide, when I was imprisoned. I thought she returned when I saw her in the forest, fighting off a pack of trolls so she could get money to save her brother’s ranch. Who the hell are you?”
Dark and Deadly: Eight Bad Boys of Paranormal Romance Page 92
