Anger kicked hard and fast. “I’m the one who’s stopping you from making a big mistake like the night when you kissed me. That was a huge mistake. Look where it landed us.”
“I’ve made mistakes before, Kara. Plenty of them. The biggest wasn’t kissing you, for sure. My biggest regret? I should have thrown you over my shoulder and ran away from this place to protect you until I could deal with Alastair on my own.”
Breathing deeply, he released her, fury crackling in his eyes.
She suddenly realized his tact. Shake her free from the cobwebs of self-pity and get her angry enough to stop believing the words Alastair drummed into her mind. All the emotion drained out of her like a plug pulled on a filled bathtub and she sagged against the shelves.
“He would have killed you, Ryder. He was just looking for an excuse. He wanted to hurt me simply for being close to you.”
“Then I should thank Aiden for having the courage and common sense for doing what I should have. I failed you, Kara.”
How wrong he was. Ryder had sacrificed everything time and again to keep the ranch operational and keep the pack cohesive. He could have run off, quit, like other Lupines had. But he stuck it out. And to see him blame himself for her father’s actions…
She laced her fingers through his. “You saved me. Before that kiss, I had forgotten what it was like to be cherished and loved. And you fed me hope that maybe I could find some happiness after all.”
Ryder squeezed her hand, his touch warm and comforting. “We need you, Kara. We need you because you’re a part of our family. No matter where you go, how far, this will always remain your home. And you’re meant to be with me, hell, we’re meant to be together after all the crazy, fucked up crap your sire did to tear us apart.”
“Mating is for life, Ryder.” She stared at their interlocked fingers. “I want to be happy, I want the promise of what it’s like to laugh again, and feel good.”
“Then let me make you happy,” he said, his deep voice growing huskier. “I want to give you a pleasure you’ve never felt before, Kara. The kind of pleasure a woman feels when a man slides deep inside her and she screams and begs and claws. The pleasure our people were meant to feel when we mate.”
Mesmerized by the burning heat in his eyes, she watched him dig into the honey jar and withdraw a dab. He brought it to her lips, hesitating a moment. Ryder seemed to test her, an unasked question if she were willing to take the sexual challenge he presented.
Mate with me.
As Ryder pressed the honey against her mouth, Kara parted her lips. She flicked her tongue daintily over the offering. Then she took his wrist and guided his finger into the moist cavern of her mouth, and sucked hard.
The blue of his eyes turned indigo, then darkened further. Ryder then closed his eyes and groaned, every muscle tensing. Her lips closed around his finger and she swirled her tongue, flicking it around his trembling digit. With exquisite slowness, her tongue gave both one last teasing dance, and then she pulled back, forcing his finger from her mouth.
Sweat beaded on his forehead. Ryder gazed at her with a different, fiercer hunger than a need for food.
“That was delicious,” she purred. “I want more.”
“No,” he said hoarsely.
Kara gave an innocent smile. “Why? I’m hungry.”
“Because if you don’t stop, sweeting, I’m going to tear your clothes off, press you against the wall and fuck you so hard the shelves will rattle. So put down the honey and let’s go out to meet the pack.”
Her heart beat harder at the fierce intensity on his face. “Right now?”
“Soon as I get my dick to go down.”
Not going to look, not going to look…oh hellfire and brimstone.
She looked.
And licked her lips again. Grim-faced, he turned around, unzipped his jeans and made an adjustment. She heard him swear softly before he turned back.
Ryder Carrington wasn’t the low-bred animal her father had called him. A shiver raced through her as she remembered Alastair’s angry shouts.
“You are the daughter of an alpha, not a lowly slut. He’s a common cowboy who just wants to fuck the alpha’s daughter! His dirty, manure-covered hands aren’t worthy enough to touch you,” he’d screamed.
Emotion clogged her throat. Kara struggled to speak, but could not form the words. She took his hand, scarred and calloused, and rested it against her cheek.
“You are fit to touch me,” she told him. “More than worthy.”
Ryder closed his hands, leaning into her touch. Lupines craved touch. They needed it as much as they needed fresh meat to shift. Touch gave them reassurance and comfort, a sense of home and family.
“I’ve walked alone for so long. I need you,” he whispered.
The proclamation tightened her chest. They needed each other, it seemed.
When Ryder had first kissed her, he unleashed an explosion of passion. But the kiss had done much more. It had anchored her, provided reassurance in the uncertain, tumultuous tempest that had become her home.
Opening his eyes, he looked down at her, his expression tender. “You okay? Ready to do this and meet the pack?”
“Okay.” She drew in a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”
***
About 50 Lupines gathered in the great room, lounging on the white leather couches and armchairs near the fireplace. Despite the gathering dusk, only one lamp blazed with light. In a corner, sectioned off from the adults, younger Lupines stared at a television set showing a movie. The sound was turned all the way down. When she entered the room, they looked up. Fear clouded their gazes, the smell so thick she could drown in it.
Was it always like this, she wondered? Was that me long ago, always quiet, afraid to make noise lest my sire would roar with rage?
Ryder nuzzled her neck, rubbing his nose along her pulse point, putting his scent on her as an obvious public claim. He held up his open palms.
“Everyone. Kara has returned home to us.”
And then they recognized her, and the anticipation in their expressions wrenched her heart. Excited murmurs swept the room as they began to smile.
He gestured to the floor lamps. “I’ve told you, it’s not necessary to save on electricity anymore. Turn the lamps on.”
Several bounded up to obey. Others jumped to their feet and approached, hesitant, yet hopeful.
“See? They’ve waited, hoping, as much as I have,” Ryder said softly. Releasing her hand, he stepped back. “They want you back, Kara.”
One by one, they embraced her, and the terrible scent of fear evaporated. And then a young Lupine pushed his way through the crowd. The others parted to make room.
“Kara!”
She turned at the eager, young voice and her heart turned over. Jason. The youngest pack member, he’d been only 5 when she’d left.
Thin and lanky, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed tight. Kara hugged him back, emotion a thick lump in her throat.
“I’m so happy you came back to us! We need you.”
I’m not staying.
The words died in her throat at their expectant expressions. How could she let them down again?
A knot formed in her stomach. Gently she disentangled herself. “I’m here, for a little while.”
“But we need you, Kara.” Jason’s dark gaze grew troubled. “Ryder needs you, too. Everyone remembers how good you were to us.” Murmurs of assent rose in the room.
The pack didn’t hate her after all. Kara gazed at the children. Gods, she’d missed this, missed the closeness of pack and being surrounded by young, and their exuberant hope and joy. Aiden’s pack was mostly male, with only one mated couple who remained childless.
“You’re growing fast, Jason,” she murmured. “Getting older.”
His face fell. “Today’s my birthday, but I’m not supposed to say that. Today’s the official mourning day.”
Glancing around at the solemn expressions, she didn’t understand
. And remembered. Her parents had formally mated this day, and Alastair declared it a day of mourning after her mother’s death. No one was permitted any celebrations.
For every hellish act Alastair had done to her, the pack had also suffered.
It’s not only you who bore scars from his wrath.
Their scars are equally deep, only hidden.
She turned to Ryder, whose expression remained carefully blank.
“You’re continuing to follow this tradition?” she asked him.
“It was meant to honor your mother. I’ll leave it up to you if the tradition should continue,” Ryder said softly. “What is your wish, Kara?”
The pack turned toward her expectantly, and the faint, damnable hope on their expressions made her fingers curl into fists. Anger burned through her, along with hard resolve. These past two years, she’d focused solely on the damage her father had done to her shattered spirit.
Kara now realized she’d been selfish, thinking herself the only victim. She hunkered down and clasped Jason’s arms. “Today we’re celebrating your birthday. You’re 7, right?”
Doubts filled the boy’s eyes. She straightened and looked at Jason's mother. “Go into town. I want the biggest birthday celebration this pack has ever seen. I want ice cream, cake, you name it.”
Kara beckoned to David and Marcus. “Both of you go with her, help her out. And get presents. Maybe even a piñata. Is the restaurant that served those awesome chicken wings still open?”
Seeing several nods, she decided. “I’ll call and order platters, they should be ready for you to pick up when you’re done shopping.”
Something flickered in David’s eyes that could have been approval. For a moment they seemed to shift from dark brown to vibrant blue.
“Money, it’s a little tight right now,” Marcus began.
“There’s twenty $100 bills my father always kept as emergency cash behind my mother’s photo on his desk downstairs. Use that.”
“I’m really going to have a party?” Wonder filled the boy’s eyes.
Kara struggled with the thick knot clogging her throat as she hugged Jason. “The best damn party this pack has ever seen. I think it's about time for a celebration. Long past time.”
Glancing up, she met Ryder's gaze and saw tenderness shining there, mingling with a raw, fierce heat.
He was right, and she was home.
***
Never one to sit idle, she joined the others in decorating the basement, then sped upstairs for a quick shower. When she returned to join the party, Kara smiled with delight.
Blue and yellow streamers hung from the ceiling, tangling with dozens of colorful balloons. A cake the size of a truck tire saying “Happy Birthday Jason!” sat on a table near the bar, along with enormous platters of chicken wings, hamburgers and other food. Several pack members crowded around the bar, drinking beer or wine. Lupines sat at tables scattered around the room or curled up on the sofas and armchairs. Children shrieked with laughter as Jason hit a blue donkey piñata.
This is how it was supposed to be, she thought. Not sadness and strictness and fear.
Sitting at a dining table, munching on a chicken wing, Ryder talked with Jason’s parents. Their expressions brightened upon seeing her and Alyssa, Jason’s mother, moved over to make room on the bench.
“Thank you for everything.” Alyssa squeezed Kara’s hand and Jason’s father piled a plate with food and set it before her.
Kara ate, listening to the light banter between the mated couple, but keeping her gaze centered on Ryder. Stubble shadowed his jawline and his blue eyes sparkled with life. He was so damn sexy, even when he drank beer. Watching his mouth close around the bottle’s lip, she shivered with awareness. An ache pulsed in her sex as she imagined his perfect, wet mouth on her intimate flesh. Kara clenched her thighs together.
When Jason’s parents finished eating, they excused themselves and joined a game of darts.
She was left alone with Ryder.
He thumbed his lip, slowly. Ryder squeezed his beer bottle, rolling it in his hands.
“You always play with your beverages?” she teased.
“I’d rather be playing with you,” he countered, his gaze flicking to her breasts.
When she finished the chicken on her plate, he got up and fetched her more. “Eat,” he prodded. “I want my female well-fed.”
“Too much food and I'll be rounder than I already am.”
“I like you well-rounded.” His heat gaze swept appreciatively over her body.
Desire tightened her nipples, turning them hard as pearls. She shivered.
“Cold?” Ryder asked.
“A bit.”
David noticed and loped over, unzipping his sweatshirt and shrugging out of it. He handed it to her with a flourish, but before she could thank him, Ryder snatched it with a scowl.
“Keep it.” A low growl rumbled deep in his throat.
Slinging the garment over one shoulder, David winked at her. “He was just being polite,” she told Ryder, who watched his lieutenant walk away.
“I don’t want you covered in any other males’ clothing but mine.”
Her eyes widened as Ryder unbuttoned his checked flannel shirt and tugged it off, placing it around her shoulders. The gesture screamed ownership and claiming. His chest was smooth with muscle and the sight made her boneless with sudden desire. Breathing in his rich, deep scent of pine and masculinity, she felt warm and safe and cherished.
“I like you in my shirt.” He rubbed his lip again.
“I like you out of your shirt.” Oh yeah, maybe a little too much. As in wanting to lick him all over, run her tongue across his small brown nipples, taste each valley and crest of his abdominal muscles and then maybe tug down the waistband of his jeans and put her mouth there…
Kara put her hands to her burning face.
“Guess you’re not cold anymore.” He gestured to her face. “You’re all flushed.”
She removed his shirt and handed it back to him. “I think you need this more than I do.”
Grinning, he slipped it back on. They sat watching the festivities. Ryder nodded at a younger couple heading for the stairs, followed by another set a few minutes later.
“Ah, methinks there will be another few additions to the pack in about nine months,” Ryder murmured. “About time, too. We haven’t had any births in more than five years.”
“There wasn’t much occasion for celebrating when Alastair was alpha. Doesn’t make for a relaxed atmosphere. And my sire never remembered birthdays.”
Not even mine.
“Did Aiden remember?”
She smiled sadly. “He’s a wonderful brother, but things were too hectic with trying to start his pack.”
He frowned. “When was the last time someone celebrated your birthday?
“Two years ago, when a certain arrogant and bold male brought a chocolate cupcake with a candle to my room and told me to make a wish.”
Ryder gazed at her intently. “Chocolate with blue frosting. Your favorite. Did your wish come true?”
Sadness arrowed through her as Jason successfully split the piñata with the baseball bat. Candy splattered over the floor.
“No. Aiden and I fled before it happened.” Kara faced him, her heart squeezing tight. “I wished I could have a lover who’d cherish me as much as my father had cherished my mother.”
Silence draped between them as he studied her face.
“I wished for you, Ryder.”
“Wishes can come true. Especially birthday wishes, if you want it badly enough,” he said softly.
Someone switched on the stereo in the corner to a thumping dance tune. Couples began gyrating and swaying to the melody. Ryder stood and held out a hand. “Dance with me, Kara.”
She went into his arms.
Kara leaned into his embrace, resting her cheek on his broad shoulder. Contentment filled her for the first time in years. Murmurs rippled through the air. Glancing up, she s
aw everyone had stopped to look at them. Many were smiling and some of the older Lupines nodded in approval.
They wanted this match. She sensed it.
Ryder buried his face into the curve of her neck.
“I want you in my bed, now. Your scent is driving me mad,” he whispered. “I’ve dreamed of it, tried to forget it. Every night I spent dreaming of lavender and vanilla. Going outside and searching the fields, the garden, desperate to see your face one more time, hold you in my arms. And then I wake up, my arms empty, my dreams shattered. I’m afraid to open my eyes in case this is a dream.”
Halting, she framed his face with her hands. “I’m not a dream. I’m very real.”
Ryder’s nostrils flared. The warmth of her touch burned through his shirt. He kissed her hand, and then trailed his fingers down the softness of her unmarred right cheek, across to her slender neck where a pulse beat hard and fast beneath his thumb. He stroked the big vein.
“This is where I’ll bite you and put my mark on you.”
Kara trembled harder. “Will it hurt?”
“They say it stings, but then has an unimaginable pleasure.” He blew a hot breath against her skin. “It’s an intimacy only mated couples share, intoxicating both male and female into consummating their bond.”
“And if they do not…”
Tunneling his fingers through the heavy fall of her ebony hair, he tugged her head backward, gazing down at her.
“I don’t believe there’s been a case of Lupines who didn’t consummate the bond. I imagine it would be quite unpleasant. But it’s not an experience I intend to have.”
He kissed her, relishing how sweet she tasted, and how she opened for him on a sigh. Kara’s lips were plump and ripe as cherries and the flavor bursting onto his tongue tangling with her rich, female scent shot straight through to his groin.
Ryder slid a hand up her back, holding her tight against him, never wanting to release her.
That awareness of connection surged again. He felt awake and free, and wanted to laugh with the joy of it. Two grim years spent without Kara, and with her in his arms once more, he felt alive.
Her lips were lush, plump and wet as he ravished her mouth. Ryder kept kissing her, feeling her light push away the darkness consuming him since her departure.
Dark and Deadly: Eight Bad Boys of Paranormal Romance Page 93
